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this is so stupid. original img under cut

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bringing yet another culinary horror from the russian internet here

3_rublya, well, i wanted to bake a duck for New Year. Just before the New Year’s Eve it suddenly turned out that there are no whole ducks in the store, just the parts. I made the strategic decision to buy a bunch of duck parts and cook them. At home, I got upset that I won’t have a whole duck, and I tried to restore the duck from breasts and legs by sewing them together. At this point it turned out that each tray I bought had not two but three legs, so overall there were six, five of which were left ones. While I was sewing the duck together, I stained it with the food dye my sister spilled while making pryaniks (the pryaniks were good, by the way), and the duck started looking like it has gone moldy or expired. I couldn’t stand for this injustice and entirely covered it with dye to hide the stains. And then I also shoved some celery and oranges up its ass, just because I could.

Written by zapivaet i zaedaet, today at 15.28

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jon gets tipsy off a couple sips of red wine and martin has to carry him around like a sack of potatoes

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This was really needed

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What's your jacking off technique

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Small fantasy worldbuilding elements you might want to think about:

A currency that isn’t gold-standard/having gold be as valuable as tin

A currency that runs entirely on a perishable resource, like cocoa beans

A clock that isn’t 24-hours

More or less than four seasons/seasons other than the ones we know

Fantastical weather patterns like irregular cloud formations, iridescent rain

Multiple moons/no moon

Planetary rings

A northern lights effect, but near the equator

Roads that aren’t brown or grey/black, like San Juan’s blue bricks

Jewelry beyond precious gems and metals

Marriage signifiers other than wedding bands

The husband taking the wife's name / newlyweds inventing a new surname upon marriage

No concept of virginity or bastardry

More than 2 genders/no concept of gender

Monotheism, but not creationism

Gods that don’t look like people

Domesticated pets that aren’t re-skinned dogs and cats

Some normalized supernatural element that has nothing to do with the plot

Magical communication that isn’t Fantasy Zoom

“Books” that aren’t bound or scrolls

A nonverbal means of communicating, like sign language

A race of people who are obligate carnivores/ vegetarians/ vegans/ pescatarians (not religious, biological imperative)

I’ve done about half of these myself in one WIP or another and a little detail here or there goes a long way in reminding the audience that this isn’t Kansas anymore.

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Post-coma jarchivist makes me sooo insane. Everyone’s like ‘you should’ve stayed dead’ and he’s like ‘can’t argue with you there’. He died for his friends. He chose to become a monster. He came back wrong. He spent six months hovering between life and death and Martin won’t even talk to him. He’s losing his sense of humanity. He hates himself so so much. He can no longer die. He risks a deal with Jared the fucking boneturner to try to save someone who very recently attempted to murder him. He blames himself for Tim’s death. Tim died hating him. With every fresh horror he grows stronger. Someone get this man a vacation and a healthy coping mechanism

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THIS.

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I GOT A NEW JOB

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Waiting for my boyfriend to finish piano class..... Hes so talented OMFG I love him smmm😭💗💕💗💕💗

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The Antiquarian

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not to be a dirty commie or anything but i don't think any one person should have enough money to solve world hunger and then get to decide not to

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"Mama, Are We Next?" – The Reality of War on a Family 🥺🍉

✅ Vetted by @savefami

✅ Vetted by @happaliff

I'm trying to be vetted in @gazavetters @90-ghost

I never thought I’d hear my child ask me, “Mama, are we next?” But here we are.

In Gaza, survival is not guaranteed. Hospitals are gone. Medicine is rare. Clean water is a privilege. But through all the pain, we still believe in kindness.

What We Need to Start Again:

💔 $5,000 for the father.

💔 $5,000 for the mother.

💔 $2,500 for Khaled.

💔 $2,500 for Intesar.

📌 The rest is for the basics of life—shelter, food, and safety.

If you can donate or share, you’re giving us more than money. You’re giving us hope.

💙 Donate here:

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