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things you didn’t know about the Bye Bye Man that make it sound even more like a fake movie than it already does:

the bye bye man has an animal sidekick. it looks like it’s a dog made of raw ground beef. 

a real and actual power that the bye bye man has is the ability to cause erectile dysfunction

when the bye bye man shows up, you hear the toot toot of a train. no reason is given for this. toot toot.

there are college students who own a house phone

faye dunaway is there

there is a character named Mr. Daisy. he uses the phrase “handsome boys.”

the bye bye man is shown in the library. he’s not cast in shadow or anything. he’s just there. he has some books. i can’t remember if we hear a toot toot when it cuts to him, but i like to think we did.

the bye bye man has long long touchin fingers

can you imagine hooking up with someone and the bye bye man broke your genitals. you would have to say “i am sorry i cannot get aroused the booboo man did a witchcraft on my peepee”

toot toot

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d a y l i g h t  -  taylor swift

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emotionally? the year is 1875 and i have tuberculosis

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Coworker: nice day out huh?

Me, who watched a 2hr documentary about the Hindenburg disaster the night before and is desperately trying to share the information i learned: yeah, a real nice day, not at all like May 6, 1937 in Germany.

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i feel it in my bones, i’m on F I R E

FUCK

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We should confess things before the tumblr bomb goes off like in a movie

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My boss, who is a grown woman with children my age, just whispered, “Oh, this is going to be so fucking efficient,” before spraying Febreze directly into the ceiling fan and proceeding to cough her guts out when it blew back in her face.

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Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018) dir. Peyton Reed

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me looking at the dawn of a new day, ready to fix my life

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I thought this was the Beyoncé music video at first

Inception (2010) directed by Christopher Nolan.

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me, with tears in my eyes: time to make a joke

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Bloom - The Paper Kites

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she’s distant! she’s incoherent! she’s sensitive! she uses escapism as a coping mechanism! she’s me!!!

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Forget the Myers-Briggs fucking personality assessment. I am dead tired of hearing if someone is an INFP or an ESLQ or whatever. I want to know if someone is melancholic or choleric. Bring back the four humors. I wanna see “Kaley, 16, phlegmatic” when I go to someone’s blog. Who is with me. Lets make this happen