hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

Angel Dust: *traps a wasp under a cup*

Niffty: *puts down two more cups*

Angel Dust: Please, no-

Niffty: *starts shuffling the cups*

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

Husk: I know you're deflecting by making jokes about how attractive you are

Angel Dust, teary eyed: It's not a joke

Angel Dust: *sniffles*

Angel Dust: I'm a legit snack

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

Lucifer, struggling to get into a medicine bottle: C'mon child safety lid, you know it's me

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

Computer: *makes error noise*

Vox: *imitates error noise sarcastically*

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

*during the battle with the hotel, realizing they have a forcefield*

Adam: What? There's a forcefield?! Why didn't you tell me?!

Lute: Well, because I wanted us to fail...OBVIOUSLY, I DIDN'T KNOW!

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

Vaggie: Are you having whiskey for breakfast?

Husk: What did you have for breakfast?

Vaggie: Nothing yet-

Husk: I'm doing better than you then

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

*fire alarm goes off in the middle of the night*

Charlie, Vaggie & the others: *all rush into the kitchen, half asleep*

Charlie: Is everyone okay? Niffty, what are you-

Niffty, holding a lit piece of paper under the fire alarm: ⁿᵒʷ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵒⁿᵉ'ˢ ʰᵉʳᵉ, ʷʰᵒ ᵐᵒᵛᵉᵈ ᵐʸ ᵇᵘᵍ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗᶦᵒⁿ﹖...

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

Lucifer: Al, I know I don't say it often, but I'm sorry for always calling you harsh names. For what it's worth, I like having you around

Alastor: No you don't

Lucifer: I know. I have dreams where I staple your fingers to your face

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

Charlie: Don't wish ill upon a stranger

Alastor: Great advice, my dear, but remember, if someone has slighted me, they are no longer a stranger, but an enemy

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

Valentino: *glaring*

Vox: Whoa, what's got you so angry?

Valentino: I'm not angry, Vox. Velvette stole my glasses and I can't see shit

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

Angel Dust: What if Alastor voiced a GPS?

Husk: "Great job, you missed the exit, you fucking disgrace"

Angel Dust: *WHEEZING*

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

Angel Dust: Hey, Smiles, Luci's sneakin' around in your radio tower

Alastor, unbothered: That's alright

Angel Dust: He's sittin' in your chair

Alastor: That's fine, I don't care

Angel Dust: He's adjustin' the chair settings

Alastor: ... Even the lumbar?

Angel Dust: Exclusively the lumbar

Alastor: I'm going to snap his spine...

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

Vox: I accidentally closed a browser with over twenty tabs open. This must be how the scholars of Alexandria felt when their great library burned

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

Lucifer: 'Are you okay?' by normal standards? No. By my standards? Do you see me crying? No? Then yeah, I'm good

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

Angel, to Alastor: So the ingredients are just butter, flour, milk and updog

Alastor: What is updog?

Angel, shouting out the door: I TOLD YOU FUCKERS I COULD DO IT!

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

Vox: BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm

Alastor: That is not something you actually have installed

Vox: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-ASS OPINION

[hazbin-hotel-accurate-ish-quotes]

Charlie: What are you doing?

Angel Dust, digging into a jar of Skittles and putting some into a separate bowl: Vaggie really likes the green ones so I'm separating them

Charlie: Aww, that's sweet~

Angel Dust: What? No. I'm planning to eat them in front of her and then run