haylos-ukiyo

[haylos-ukiyo]

TO LOVE AND TO HOLD

Dabi's childhood was nothing short of filled with trauma. That, of course, resulted in him never letting people pass arm's length. Except for you. Despite the slow repairs he's making with his siblings, you've managed to snake your way in further and sooner than anyone else. Wrapping yourself around his finger with determination to break down those walls. It had taken months just to stay calm around all three siblings at once, and within just a few weeks, he had let you kiss him.

Any request his siblings request he almost always shuts down. Turning away and saying no with no regrets. And yet the moment you plead for something, looking innocent with passion and want, he finds himself in conflict with be able to say no to you. He shouldn't. He knows that. He should say no and walk away as he does with everyone else. If anything, he should do more. You weren't a part of his past. You had nothing to do with "mending" the old him. A part of him didn't care, though. He almost wanted you to do so much more.

Tonight, he was crashing at your place again. He has refused to move in, yet. Each time this happened, the scenario would be the same. Dabi tries to sleep on your couch and in the middle of the night, you'd wake from your bed only to slowly convince him to join you. Tugging at his arms and softly speaking near his ear till he was coaxed into whatever you said. You learned he was more likely to say yes while tired. This time, it was different. You both went your respective ways to sleep like always. (Not without trying to convince him to lay with you and failing.)

2:34 read your clock as you woke from the night once again. Wishing there was a warmth only he can fulfill next to you. As you got up from the heat of the covers you heard a muffled sound from across the door. You slowly made your way to the noise and cracked open the door. Against it was slumped the slender figure you recognized. Wearing nothing but boxers and a loose t-shirt.

"Please" you strained your ears to understand him before quickly kneeling to his side. "M sorry, just for tonight. Let me be here again." Your hand reached his head. Stroking through the knots as you pulled his head to your chest. Usually, it always took some convincing to get him to lie down with you. You knew something must've really been eating at him if he was letting his emotions control him like this.

"What is it?" He said nothing. Trying not to sniffle around you. That's fine he'll tell you when he's ready. You, like all others, were no stranger to the Todoroki family drama. "Cmere, let's lay down." You stood up with him and laid on the bed. Instead of the usual position like all other nights where he let you snuggle to his side he now laid on top of your chest. Listening for the steady rhythm that would remind him of you. It was quiet for some time. Nothing but Dabi's stuttered breathing and your hand soothing him to hear.

You focused on what you knew would help. Nails slightly scratching and massaging the scalp as your fingers go through. Another hand rubbing slowly up and down his side and back. Careful not to raise his shirt. You learned his boundaries and would never touch him without him clearly letting you. The whole time he thought about how good you were for him. The shit he's done and you still want to do anything for him. You're here comforting a serial killer while he relived his trauma. So what if he's tryna "redeem himself"? What a load of bullshit, truthfully he was just too scared to die despite his big talk. Now he was scared of what you were doing to him.

The more you broke his walls, the more he tried to actually cope with what happened instead of burning others for fun. The closer he got to you, the more he accepted himself. He hated it. But he couldn't hate you. "Touya." He could never hate you. "Hmm?" Your hands stopped, eyes half-lidded from the tired trying to take over. "You're the only one allowed to say that name." He could never ever hate you. He tried. It never worked. "Not even your siblings say it?" Despite the half-joking humorous tone you put in the question, you wondered if this had anything to do with what he was upset about. "Told em I'd burn em if they did." He did, actually. He wasn't ready to hear them say it. It was too fast for him. But not for you. Because in truth, instead of hating you.. "Ok, I like that. Makes me feel special." Your hand resumed stroking his hair. A smile creeps its way on your face before fully letting your eye close. "You're the only one that's special." .. instead of hating you, he absolutely loved you.