hauntedhayderide

[hauntedhayderide]

The tragedy of my life is that I keep acquiring and displaying fetish art and having to be corrected by my friends.

Most recently, a friend came over my house and saw my computer background and went, "Wow, um, I didn't know you were into that." To which I look at the picture of the well drawn muscular female minotaur in historically accurate Greek clothing and I start geeking out about how I love the detail the artist did with the clothing and I point out the period appropriate folds and pins, how the artist even inserted the native plant that was used to dye the clothing this particular shade in the background, and even how the belt has technology AND historically accurate weaving patterns on it.

Then I start explaining how I love the muscular choices of the minotaur, that I was so impressed with the artist's anatomically correct depiction of the muscles converging into the neck. That many people get an upright cow's neck wrong because cow's don't have collarbones, so it can be very difficult to merge the upper arms and a chest of a human with a cow's body. I draw her attention to the beautiful way they've merged the pectoralis major so smoothly while also staying true to how muscular they've depicted the rest of the body.

I finish up with my thoughts on the artist's bold choice to depict the minotaur as a female, and despite the underlying themes of a minotaur being violence, child murder, strength, and muscles. I segue into how unlike bulls, cow are perceived as mothers. That they are the major source of milk in human culture, and that idyllic depictions of them in a field usually depict calves frolicking nearby, yet the minotaur kills and eats children.

I finish and there is a long pause.

"Urban, this is fetish art." and she takes me to the artist's twitter and god dammit it's fetish art, not a bold statement on cultural perceptions of women and violence throughout history. I have been tricked again.

[hauntedhayderide]

Man of many masks

[hauntedhayderide]

The people yearn for witchy old man yaoi

[hauntedhayderide]

I’m Mr. Loverman and I miss my lover, man.

[hauntedhayderide]

sometimes you just gotta draw your elden ring character

this is clione, dex-centric int/fth hex split with a focus on death sorcery

aimed to take notes from the eternal cities, deathbirds, and cleanrot knights specifically

death's poker is fun

[hauntedhayderide]

Negaposi AU (sort of)

First post lf 2025 yey, totally unplanned but I was drinking and this AU came to me. Kicking off the year with more ship art, I'll take it. Hope you see the vision b.

I like how it turned out, check it out on twitter :]

[hauntedhayderide]

Happy New Year! Crawling out of my hole to post some fan art,,, I watched the fishing anime and I really liked it,,,,

[hauntedhayderide]

Get jolly with it

[hauntedhayderide]

ritz n mori

mori: private investigator specializing in mythomorph foul play

ritz: paparazzi turned reporter

they're roommates they're aro they're frenemies they have exclusive rights to ruin each others' lives they're fucking

[hauntedhayderide]

another debuff baddie

class: knight

uses defensive techniques to attract the attention of enemies and endure the lion's share of punishment within the party

debuff: blight

deals damage over time that reduces the enemy's HP maximum--in essence, damage that cannot be healed

[hauntedhayderide]

this is bit chesny he is an alien who named himself after the first t shirt he ever wore and sculpted his persona around television detectives

also he's scrunt's pilot and why she's been stuffed into a meatspace body

in other words he's scrunt's dad

[hauntedhayderide]

this is scrunt

alien ai with no concept of human reasoning stuffed into a meat sack

her gender is nonrecyclable plastic garbage fxmme

[hauntedhayderide]

Mr. Business and The Heavy have claimed the role of Luigi's giant goth girlfriends.

[hauntedhayderide]

posing like a playboy centerfold

you could be my penthouse pet, i know

[hauntedhayderide]

The problem with commercial F/M romance is that it's written by the most heterosexual women alive and reading it you feel yourself slowly suffocating from the Gender of it all like a fish in a eutrophying lake. And what we actually need as a culture is F/M written by insane bisexuals violently allergic to heteronormativity

[hauntedhayderide]

petition to replace all "oh no! i'm OLD!" humor with "i survived! YIPPIE!" positivity

[hauntedhayderide]

Jason & Friends