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Knowing you have something good to read before bed is among the most pleasurable of sensations.

Vladimir Nabokov (via bookmania)

Sadly, all things come to an end. Good-bye, Lunar Chronicles. It was a really fun ride.

On a side-note. I have an instragram. *yay*

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A Book Project.

Hey. Been a long time since my last update here. Most of it was just reblogs, soo yeah. A legitimate update.

So, I plan on writing a book, just as a side-hobby. No doubt it will be shit, but yeah. We’ll see. That’s all for now~

(btw, I almost ruined a company party earlier. Get your shit together, me. You and your internal dramas need to stop for f*cks sake)

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1 Ticket please!

👋  [Via @badsciencejokes]

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I can still remember the very first book I’ve read. “The Spook’s Apprentice”. It was a horror-themed, sci-fi book which kept me hooked. I loved every page of it.

Exactly.

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Sooooo.... Aspartame, perhaps?

Schrödinger’s sugar. [Via Reddit]

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One of the best feelings in the world~

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Nothing. . .

Nothing is going on in my life. Absolutely nothing. And then I see people posting how much fun they have on social media and it just makes me depressed all the same.

Someone hang out with me please? My treat.

:c

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Naughty

Today I felt a bit naughty. So, on the Elevator, I pressed the basement floor, when I was going to the Ground floor. muahahahahah, fear me!

kek.

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Life is the greatest teacher

Despite what I am in real life, I'm a really good liar. Like, if I can find a possible opening to lie, I'd do it. It's now sort of inherent. I don't do it for personal gain; I do it to make my life easier.

From white lies, to the really good ones. I'd lie of any topic just so I can get away with a lot of stuff. I wouldn't consider it a blessing, but a curse. I've also read a quote online stating that Good liars are raised by Strict parents.

I wouldn't whole-heartedly agree, but it did leave a mark on me. Doing anything just so I wouldn't get scolded, I never did anything 'fun' during my times as a child. Eventually, social interaction just never appealed to me.

Right now, I'm being slightly pressured. They're not asking me if I have one. I always told them 'no'.

Well, partly because of my hideous looks. But another part is that I don't really know how to make "moves", as people would call it. How the hell do people do that? Like, do they just talk to someone casually? Any specific phrases I should use? Like, how do I 'flirt'? I never knew how any of those sh*ts work. I could really use a help or two on how people manage that.

I live on a confined place where only my mind resides, hence I don't know how to do anything. I wouldn't call myself to be desperately looking for someone, but I've already resided my fate that I wouldn't have anyone in this life (as if I had any other lives than this).

Anyone who comes along will be a miracle. Anyways, cheers! Nice talking to myself. Rather, visualizing my thoughts to text. It's a nice feeling. It feels as if I'm talking to someone else.

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Conflicted

I’m currently conflicted right now. Should I pursue her or just let it be? I’m quite leaning on just letting it be. Then again, a good friend of mine told me before, “At least if you’ve asked, you’ll already know and not wonder.”

I would have to agree with her point. But still, it just hurts to be rejected in front of my face that not knowing the answer sounds the most comfortable answer.

I’m still young. Why am I thinking about these things? I’m 22 for crying out loud.

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The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.

Stephanie Perkins, Anna and the French Kiss (via bookmania)

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This... This is my definition of the perfect life. Eating a lot, carefree on a warm sandy beach with your significant other, completely isolated from a lot of people.

One day, when the weather is good enough (Goblin reference)

summer

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See less of you.

I had a lot on my mind the past couple of days, along with a bunch of realizations in my life that I am still trying to accept, but has made a significant progress on.

Let's start off with something cheesy. Frankly, I know now what she wants, and I fit none of her descriptions. To her, I'm just some friendly guy who is genuinely friendly. I need to stop this form of self-destruction soon, so I'm desperately trying to find someone else to focus my attention to. Funny how I just shift my attention from one person to another. Just goes to show how dependent I am on 'people', despite this anti-social behavior I tend to play out.

Next problem. How do I move on? It's not like I can turn off my feelings with the flick of a switch now, can I? I'm still working on it. I just need to accept the fact faster and just keep everything casual. Also, I need to stop doing these favors. She doesn't know, but all the books I gave her are all store-new. Like, I don't really have these books before. I just had them as a PDF. It wasn't a waste at all though. I'm quite glad that she enjoys reading, as much as she doesn't want to admit. Maybe she really doesn't enjoy it; But she does read on the way home, or before going to work, so it is still a good deal that she reads. I'm quite proud of that. I mean, it has an impact on her life.

I just keep blabbing on about her, aren't I?

Moving on to the last topic. I'm still trying to improve my piano skills. I'm currently learning Atlantico. Another one of my favourite piano pieces, and surprisingly easy to perform. It's just the same piece on a different scale. But it just sounds so good. Added with its catchiness, I got hooked with the piece~

At least there's a silver lining to everything I wrote here, amirite? My psychologist noted that I need to see positive things even where there seems none. In this one, it's easily the piano thing. I don't know how else to find positive stuff on others when the worst of the worst comes. I look forward to it though. The thing where you don't have any more reason to live? Seems grim.

I'm kidding. For now. Cheers,

PS. I’m no longer depressed when I don’t get to see you. I wish for more days like it. At least by then, I don’t have any expectations of myself or you. I kinda want to switch teams. Probably sometime in the future if I can’t handle it. For now, I’m content where I am.

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So. Exciting.

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Literature is the most agreeable way of ignoring life

Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet (via bookmania)

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Don’t we all~