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$4.29

[happykaiju]

Jeremy has been playing in a band with my partner for years and years. They’re very close. He’s a few months younger than we are. 

This month, Jeremy was diagnosed with stage four liver cancer. He’d been having trouble swallowing, and it was discovered that the cancer had started there and spread through his esophagus and his stomach.

Treatment options are limited, but there is always some sliver of hope that his life can be extended. 

His family needs help. We’ve given and will do so again, but if anyone has even $5-$10 and wants to do something amazing, please consider helping out our friend. 

[happykaiju]

Hey. So... Gotta be serious one more time, and then I promise to keep trying to be fun and silly again.

I've been thinking a lot about this thing that's important, and it feels like the right time to say something, and say it publicly.

Stay with me. This is serious.

Josie and the Pussycats is the best movie ever.

Russ Burlingame has written a book about it. He and I somehow made contact on Twitter while he was working on this book. You know how social media is, stuff moves pretty fluidly sometimes.

I honestly didn't realize that this movie had any kind of broader cult appeal. In my head, this movie was a kind of in-joke between myself and two of my dearest girlfriends: Summer and Shelley.

Three weird girls, loving music and life (and sometimes boys), refusing to sell out, and yes: lots and lots of singing in the car. It was all that the three of us fully agreed on, so different. We were all so smart, creative, sexy, stupid, and adept in our different ways. Independent Women of the New Millenium™ was our band. (We never had an arena show, but that’s okay.)

So when I made contact with Russ, we ended up on a Zoom call talking about the movie and what it meant to my friend group, how the movie is important to me because it reminds me of the friendships that I’ve found, and how we embraced our differences and grew together. It’s all here, in print. And I love to think that people are reading those thoughts, as I have loved reading how others connected with the jokes, the music, the incredible talent, and how it shaped their own friendships and film journeys.

Seeing how this movie touched so much more than it maybe ever meant to keeps me close to the memory of a time and place and a whole squad of people that we forced to watch this film, certain they’d love it like we did. (Some of them joined the army after and I still worry that we caused it.)

And.

Here I am, ten years after Shelley passed away unexpectedly.

Still heartbroken. Still missing a huge and tremendously important piece of myself. I still feel her nearby sometimes. I still need her advice regularly.

Here I am, 21 years after this ridiculous little movie, still glad for all it can give and all it reminds me of. Read the book, see the film or don’t, that’s up to you. This film never seemed to worry much about popularity.

I wanted to say something about it now, for me, for Shelley. For everyone anywhere who has had inside jokes with someone that they love. For everyone who has lost someone. For everyone* who has regrets about not being in touch with friends more frequently. (**That’s me and you, and I’m sorry.)

Friendship matters. There is no power like the love humans are capable of. Nothing endures or persists or weighs as much as the love we share, the communities we build, and the resistance to things that try to separate or dominate us.

Carrying that forward into my day and I hope you do also by telling someone you love and appreciate them, even if they totally jumped into the picture on your bus pass.

[happykaiju]

Traveling from Austin, my partner and I had major delays and ended up in three different aircraft, doing a new takeoff four different times. We ran through an airport, beat some of our luggage home (somehow), and paid $45 for two drinks (shame on you, airport bars).

We got tired, but we stayed calm and relatively tension free. (I HATE airport running. I whined pretty hard about that.)

It’s so good to be so solid that even IKEA assemblies and rough travel days don’t get unbearable.

Plus: we got something like $600 in travel vouchers because the airline people were super awesome.

Kindness is better.

Now …who wants a visit? 😆

[happykaiju]

I went to Texas and all I got you was a bunch of stupid gorgeous clouds

[happykaiju]

Good old long post that’s largely a record for myself, because I’m done refreshing twitter like I want more news.

What’s real is looking for a place to live, potentially, in Austin, TX.

Oregon has been a marvel. I mean really. But I feel like I got what I came for and it’s been almost eight years. That’s two years longer than anywhere before; I guess I’m still flexible.

We’ve just spent a week with friends my partner has known for almost half his life, and it’s been honestly amazing. They’re cool and hilarious. Which brings out everyone’s coolness and much hilarity.

This week:

I’m expecting to hear more after a series of interviews with what is truly a dream job. (Bonus: I’ve not had a full-time job in my industry since I got laid off. I’m very ready.)

I’m working on a long post about Josie and the Pussycats, just to make something to share. Trust me: it’s important.

I plan to start streaming more on Twitch more regularly, and will be working on stuff there.

[happykaiju]

Feel like I’m missing something(*), some days, but the cobwebs are clearing a bit here.

(*It’s you)

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I can’t tell if I’m more depressed or angry.

I miss therapy. 

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[happykaiju]

My sweetheart and I always wear masks when in public

And sometimes we forget we’re wearing them

But we still turn randomly to sneak in a smooch, and since we can’t actually kiss we just goofily laugh and press masks together

And I love how much we like each other

So that’s why we always wear masks in public

Because life is *gorgeous*

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[happykaiju]

this is 100% why i never fucked with that “normcore” nonsense and why i’m still extremely self-conscious about what i wear and how my clothes fit, even after my weight loss. wearing “normal” clothes only becomes “fashion” when it’s on skinny attractive people and once it’s on a fat person it’s suddenly the trappings of the tacky and the unwashed poors. fuck out of here. you can make anything look good.

[happykaiju]

Alive and okay and playing video games to suppress the existential dread

But it sounds more and more like a good time to get (and stay) pretty angry

I need a lot of space to charge up what I’m *actually* like when I’m angry, instead of what I’m like when I’m being gentle for the insecure people I’ve been held back by all my life.

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[happykaiju]

Henry’s snoofles for you