happygalchronicles

[happygalchronicles]

PEPE! our bus driver was too lit! but dirvers were hell!

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[happygalchronicles]

Miscommunication & Chaos

So I combined these issues as well because they are one in the same!

Let me state before you ponder it: NO the miscommunication was not a result of any kind of language barrier ! All of the SIT folks knew enough English, and all of us knew enough Spanish.

There was just serious miscommunication between what the administration and us. There were one too many times we would be informed of something last minute but be expected to do XYZ without warning. 

Example:

Week 2 in the country and we were expected to go to clinics (most of which were in seriously dangerous neighborhoods). So of course SIT scared the shit out of Lucy, Trevor, and Hannah*--aka the kids who are not familiar with low-income, minority filled, inner city neighborhoods...that just get labeled “dangerous”. 

(that was something SIT did often...scare the shit out of us...I swear during orientation they told all us girls we would get raped if we went outside at night by ourselves...AHHHH!)

Anywho...back to the example! The next day they randomly cut into our class time and tell us it is time to go. So we all travel far into the city, my group had to take taxi’s because SIT didn’t account for the time it would take us to get there. By the time we finished at the clinic it was 4pm! mind you we started our day at 9am! 

At the end of the week we were scolded for being “rude, unprepared, etc”

what did we tell them?

You guys did not properly communicate anything to us except that we would get mugged! You guys did not feed us ...how the hell are we suppose to have energy? You guys didn’t communicate amongst each other about travel arrangements...why are we getting in trouble over that?

BASICALLY that sums up the fuckery we went through with SIT...on a weekly basis! There was never one time that we went on an “organized” trip that didn’t end up being a hot mess...yet they always found a reason to put the blame on the students instead of owning up to their bullshit.

[happygalchronicles]

Negligence & Victim Blaming

So I decided to combine these two issues because they go hand in hand. 

SIT has a way with words! I promise you, if you bring up an issue they will shove their manual (which uses language that is not understable to the average joe) in your face like “LOOK HERE”. 

Although I can’t go in major detail about the situations in which SIT was negligent, I will emphasize that in more cases than one these were issues of danger to our well being/life. 

So where does the victim blaming fit in?

EVERYWEHRE! 

SIT made sure to cover their asses as much as possible to the point where they would blame their faults as a program on their students. 

What makes it worse? We were on a public health program...yet their was victim blaming about students mental health!

They ascribed misogyny, sexual harassment, racism, etc on “the culture” and told us to be appreciative and flexible. 

To be honest most of us repressed what we were going through for the majority of the program (myself included). We didn’t even start sharing with one another until we felt that it was a pattern. We then realized not only are we all experiencing these same things but other people in different countries on SIT programs are as well!

[happygalchronicles]

Lack of respect

This was a big issue for me! SIT continuously made us feel like our time was not being respected. 

We were expected to respond to emails saying “ok I got your email” but at times would not get emails back from advisors with edits on our papers that were due. 

My point? There was a lack of reciprocity. 

They expected us to get to class 10 minutes before it started yet the professor would show up 20 minutes late...and then they would hold us 20 minutes after the schedule said we would be released.

I promise you this was not an isolated incident!

We all are 20 year olds and above, and we yet we were being treated like middle schoolers. 

Respecting someone’s time is a part of respecting someone. SIT over and over again disrespected us in this manner.

[happygalchronicles]

4′11″-5′10″ 

PUBLIC HEALTH... 18 gals/25 students

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La Bomba! Best drum show in BA

ft. Leslie Schwed

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Botanical Gardens...are we still in the BRONX?

Posse love! @shaishaisugarpie

...this is a joke because we are both from the Bronx

[happygalchronicles]

Some of the SIT crew at Plaza de Mayo before spanish class

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So I’m lowkey really good at the tango...I was the teacher’s fav lol

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Sources of my discomfort

Suprise suprise but a big source of my discomfort was my check with reality. I wanted to go abroad and escape soo badly. Hence, why I decided to go on a program that no one from Colby (or anyone I knew) was going on. I wanted to so badly put away my self-righetous, activist, angry black women rhetorics and just live. Don’t judge me but I gave up on the fight a bit...or actually judge me! I wanted to just go out wth my gringas and get free drinks from thirsty Argentine locals. I wanted to just go to tango shows and get swept up in the beauty of the culture around me, no questions asked. I wanted to watch TV and learn spanish not learn about the oppression and marginlization locals face here--nor abroad. I wanted to flood instagram with pictures of me “happy and abroad” and have them as a standstill moment of when for once in my life I was oblivous to the negativity around me and in complete and utter bliss.

So when I got touched inappropriately on a bus/train...it annoyed me, but I didn’t think about it to much. When I got random pics snapped of me at a club or on a train, I just rolled my eyes or flicked someone off while muttering “BOULDO”... “IDIOT”.  When locals made outrageous grandeou statements about my “blackness” I laughed it off and replied “puede ser” ... “guess so”. I wasn’t phased. 

A realization I’ve made is that I CANNOT escape! because what I was trying to escape is essentially who I am. I am black--because my family is Ethiopian; but I am percieved as such because I AM BROWN. I wasn’t trying to deny my blackness during my time here but rather have it be a fact and not THE CENTER OF MY BEING--as in the only thing people saw me as. I am brown, my hair is curly and big, my eyes are almond shaped like Egyptian queens and dark brown. My body is petite and curvy like many of the Ethiopian women in my family. 

 I am my own source of discomfort, because I have given convinction to others over my self. I don’t need to escape myself to be happy, because I’ve always been ok with who I am--instead my disatisaction comes from others persceptions of me. We all love to say “I don’t care what others think of me” but that is a lot easier to say than think. I’d love to occupy a space and capture people’s attention via my intelligence and charm rather than my phyiscal attributes-- “pero esto es la vida” THAT’S LIFE for me as a women of color.

All that being said I had a really great conversation with a really great friend of mine who reminded me there is beauty in my discomfort. to quote him directly “What is a white boy from rural Massachusetts who goes to spain learning?” Not to devaluize the lessons my caucasain counterparts are learning abroad but I’ve definetely learned so much about myself being away from everyone I know and everything I was use to.

[happygalchronicles]

SIT Overview---don’t do it

If you know me then you know I KEEPS IT A BUCK. On paper SIT looks amazing and it has a good reputation (that is about to change). 

Like I mentioned in my previous post I chose SIT because it was the only program that offered me the three things I wanted most for my study abroad experience. I had to write a letter of petition to my school’s study abroad office about why I wanted to do this specific program; I had to do this since no one from Colby had done this specific program before me. 

BUENO! I did the petition, it was easy want to know what my reasons were?

1. It is an intensive fieldwork based program--I get to do fieldwork based independent work!

2. Look at the syllabus! They offer XYZ--they are gonna teach us XYZ

3. It has great reviews!

SOOO, want to play 2 truths and a lie? Guess which one of the 3 points is the only thing that holds true?

*claps for the smarties who chose #3* YES! BINGO!

I am being completely frank when I say we  faced problems with the program from DAY 1. 

highlight of themes to be discussed....

1. Lack of respect

2. Negligence

3. Victim blaming

4. Miscommunication

5. Chaos

I will spend the next few posts diving into as much detail as ethically possible so that y’all can understand why I am urging you to not go on a program with SIT, especially not the one I am doing.

Oh and for y’all non-believers who either think I am bitter AF because the program didn’t meet my expectations or that I am generalizing SIT based on my singular experience..check this courage blogger’s blog out!

https://mpolovick.wordpress.com/2015/11/07/197/

[happygalchronicles]

Background

Here are some great links to catch you up on the truth about the lack of Afro-Argentine presence today!

http://www.ibtimes.com/blackout-how-argentina-eliminated-africans-its-history-conscience-1289381

http://www.theroot.com/articles/history/2014/07/argentina_s_black_population_where_did_it_go.html

I was not oblivious to Argentina’s history before coming here--believe me. I learned about everything from their cruel dictatorship(s) to their “whitening” campaigns. I think it is safe to say I knew I would face some challenges.However, when I was looking at places to study abroad I realized that I would practically face challenges ANYWHERE I chose to study abroad. 

Why did I choose Argentina then? 3 reasons!

1. I wanted to improve my spanish; so spanish speaking country was a priority

2. I wanted to do a program where my courses could count for my major

3. I wanted a program that was long enough but not too long

SIT Argentina: Public health in Urban Environments offered me all 3!

Anytime I complained about the problems I was facing here, I got two types of replies.

1. The “don’t worry” .....XYZ

OR

2. The “you have to”.....XYZ

 I even got bizarre comments like “yeah I know what you mean If I went to Africa I would stick out as well” --from companions who thought my only sense of discomfort was from looking different.

*FUN FACT*: So one thing I keep being reminded of is that non colored folks love homogenizing Africa. *

I was even asked “Why didn’t you study abroad in Africa?”

So let me make that clear from the jump! Looking different isn’t what makes me uncomfortable! In fact that has been my life for the majority of my educational experience. I went to school in the upper west side with white Jews, high school in Riverdale with Jews and now college in Maine ...with WASPS. I’ve got the whole looking different thing down pact by now. In another post I will go into details about sources of discomfort.

[happygalchronicles]

Keeping it real as a WOC abroad

I started this blog and literally somewhere in the beginning of my time here I just stopped. I have my own personal journal that I scribble in, but I realized I couldn’t keep a “travel blog”. 

The truth is I COULD HAVE but I chose not to. I made that decision because I knew what I would write in it would selectively choose to highlight the fabulous time I was having in Argentina, while leaving out the reality of what it really was like living here. 

Why you ask? Why would I have done that? Hmm... because for so long I waited for this “life changing experience” this time where everyone finds themselves and learns about themselves. (things I have managed to do on some level).

Point is study abroad is advertised as this positively charged experience. I went through phases of evaluation once I realized my experience was not as positively charged as it was “suppose” to be. My evaluation included questions such as: Why am I not enjoying it as much as my peers? How can I take advantage of my time here? How can I change my attitude? 

*common thread between all these questions? self-blaming! I kept asking myself what I was doing wrong, and for a long time I was deeply upset with myself for not being able to enjoy myself. I kept reminding myself about how long I waited for this experience to come along. I told myself countless times that I needed to snap out of the funk that I  constantly felt I was in, which was blocking me from being able to enjoy myself.

Well...after some time passed, I began reaching out to friends (other women of color) who were also abroad. After chatting with them in length about the reality of my time in Argentina--- I realized I WAS NOT ALONE IN THIS SENTIMENT! I was the furthest thing from alone--we were all experiencing the horrors of being completely alone in a foreign country.

So from here on out I will be publishing my scribbles from my time abroad. the theme will be keeping it real as a women of color abroad.