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Saw this somewhere else and felt the need to post it cause no one else ever really tells you this stuff

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But if these years have taught me anything it is this: you can never run away. Not ever. The only way out is in.

Junot Díaz, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao (via books-n-quotes)

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36 Weeks!

I had another midwife appointment yesterday now (since it's past midnight). I am 36 weeks along due on the 2nd of January, and my bump has been measuring exact all the way through until today. I'm measuring 35cm instead of 36, but the midwife didn't seem concerned at all and told me that my little baba is 3/5 engaged, and the dropping could be the possible cause of shape change.

I'm getting to the point now where I'm beginning to get impatient, but only because I am so, so ready to meet my little girl, and to hold her for the first time. I'm feeling her move all the time lately and I love that I'm the closest I will ever be to her right now, but still cannot wait until she is actually here.

The Christmas decorations are up and mine and Eliot's gifts are wrapped already under the tree (just a few more of his for me to wrap and it'll be complete.) It's our first Christmas together and he has been alone at Christmas for a long time, so I'm excited to try and make it as special as possible for him. The best, most priceless gift we have given each other is our daughter anyway, but he's also got a new watch...lucky man.

So I'm impatiently excited, but trying not to think about my impatience too much, otherwise these last weeks are going to drag incredibly. I keep repeating to myself that she will come when she is ready, and there's no telling when it might be now. It's like my little mantra, it's keeping me sane.

All snuggled up in bed feeling little Miss move and hiccup away, watching Only Fools and Horses whilst Eliot snores away. (Must try and sleep earlier, but being off on maternity leave now means I'm finding less reasons to go to sleep at regular times. The lie-ins are the best!)

❤️

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Hand kissing is sacred, high romance and I think we need to revive it

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Get To Know Me

I've decided (even though nobody will probably read this) to put together a list of get to know me questions I found on google images (great source) and answer them all below. If anything, I think everyone likes a chance to think a little more in-depth about themselves and I certainly welcome a chance to learn a little about myself too.

So, here are twenty-three questions and answers about me:

What is your full name?

Hannah Kay Dalton.

What is your star sign?

Scorpio. One of the most negatively portrayed sign there is... manipulative, possessive, jealous 😉

What are three fears that you have?

Spiders (I suffer hugely from arachnophobia), rollercoasters (although I giggle like a madwoman when I'm coaxed onto one) and flying.

What are three random things you know?

I'm not sure this counts, but I know how to make an amazing mug of hot chocolate, I think it's the way I mix the milk and powder. I know the best place to feel for a dogs pulse is in the leg crease beside the groin. And I know that if you mix cornflour and water you get a really fun mixture which hardens when you punch it and melts through your fingers if you pick it up (good tip if you have kids or are just a big kid yourself).

What is the last song you listened to?

Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran. I have been playing certain songs to my bump in the hope that she picks up good music taste, and Ed Sheeran in my book is an amazing singer and lyricist.

What are your turn-ons?

Sense of humour is massive to me. I like someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously and is able to see the fun in life. Someone who smells good and takes care of themselves in a general good hygiene manner is always good, too. And I like stubble, a lot.

What are your turn-offs?

Someone who is egotistical, looks down on others or generally a bully. There is also a massive difference between self-love and actually being in love with yourself.

Reason I joined Tumblr?

I initially joined years ago with just a picture blog, and the pictures were just ones I reblogged from others. I think what drew me to tumblr was the fact that there are so many unique people on here all expressing themselves in different ways. I love it. My blog now is all about an outlet for me, which I also love, as I believe writing is good for the soul.

Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

Yes, I have two tattoos. I have a roses on my right thigh and paw prints on my wrist. Not the most unique, but special to me in their own ways. I have my lobes pierced, and used to have my scaffolding and nose pierced but took them out a couple of years ago when I was waitressing.

What are some of your favourite movies?

For comedy, I'd have to opt for anything with Melissa McCarthy in. She is hilarious, particularly in the films Spy and The Heat. I also love Sandra Bullock, and have seen many of her films, too. My Sister's Keeper is good when I fancy a good cry, and the book even better.

What are some of your favourite books?

So many. Me Before You by Jojo Meyes, because it's storyline is incredible. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak because he is a genius of a wordsmith and the words in it are beautiful. The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness because the use of language and spelling in it is refreshing and charming.

What are some of your favourite foods?

Neck of lamb is a massive favourite of mine, thanks to my partner introducing it to me. I also love most veg, and belly pork and stuffing is gorgeous. I like really hearty, home-cooked meals that fill the house with amazing smells whilst they're cooking.

Do you drink and if so, what is your go-to drink?

I do, when I'm not pregnant of course. It depends on the situation. If I'm out in the pub with my boyfriend I will always opt for vodka and coke, at home I like a glass of Bailey's on the sofa while we watch TV. I used to be a barmaid so I've tried a few drinks and those two have to be my favourites. I'm also partial to a cider, though, especially in summertime.

What is your honest view of yourself?

Neutral. I try not to let my mind go to self-deprecation, it's never good for you. If there's something I can change and desperately want to, I will. I'm comfortable with the way I look, but I don't perhaps see myself the way my boyfriend does. I'm trying to adopt a healthy mindset when it comes to my body, as I will have a daughter soon and don't want her struggling with negative thoughts when she gets older.

What are your future plans?

To get married to my boyfriend, preferably in Greece, so we can have a nice relaxing honeymoon all rolled into one. I'd like to begin saving so that we can buy our own house one day, as opposed to renting. And one day I would like to further my studies, in particular I've been looking at a Canine Studies course with the view to possibly becoming a dog trainer. My ultimate goal is to own a kennels of some sort, but that could be a while off with little one on the way.

What are your flaws?

I can have a short temper at times, I can be incredibly stubborn and I don't always take advice on board.

What are your strengths?

I'm strong-minded yet open-minded. I'm resilient, optimistic and tend to always see the good in people unless they give me an explicit reason to doubt them.

Do you prefer tea or coffee?

Tea, all the way. I've tried coffee on several occasions (once when I was hungover...not good...) and I just can't get myself to like it. A good cuppa will always make bad situations seem that little less bad, and can honestly feel like a huge sigh of relief after a long day.

What is your favourite season?

I like all of them for different reasons I think. Spring is all about new beginnings, it's still cool enough that your thighs don't chafe, and new flowers and wildlife are emerging. Summer is a time to have picnics or go to a beer garden, and the sun is nice, although a little much for me in large doses. Autumn is beautiful and crisp and the colours changing can be absolutely breathtaking. And winter is the time for Christmas and family and, if you're lucky, snow.

What is one food you hate?

Seafood. I would have said mushrooms, but I have long become accustomed to picking them out of my Mum's meals. Now that I live in my own place, mushrooms aren't a concern. I don't like anything too fishy, aside from what you get from the fish and chip shop on a Friday as a weekly treat. Not a fan at all.

What are some of your hobbies?

I love to read, always have and always will I suspect. I like writing, although I haven't done it in a long time. I love doing those adult colouring books, therapeutic and you get the satisfaction of a result in the end. I also love going on walks, the outdoors is a beautiful place, and it's even better if I have a dog with me.

Are there any hobbies you would like to have?

I'm going to take up baking and crocheting soon. I used to bake a little when I was younger and really want to start it up again. Nothing better than a slice of cake and cup of tea. Crocheting is more about gifts I can make for people, I bought a book online about crocheted stuffed animals, and think they will be perfect presents for my little girl when she gets here. I also wouldn't mind learning to cook more things from scratch. The only thing I've managed to master is chilli, which is fine, but it'd be nice to know more so I can do more of the cooking in the house. Take a load off my boyfriend's back occasionally.

Favourite books as a child?

I LOVED Jacqueline Wilson when I was younger, in fact I don't think I'd be bored reading her books even now. I had the majority of her books at one point. I also loved Enid Blyton's The Faraway Tree. And fairy stories were always a winner for me. Something I hope to pass to my little girl is the magic of the written word.

❤️

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Age Gap Relationships

So, I am a member of a group on Facebook named "Age gaps don't matter in a relationship". It is full of couples from all over the world who seek advice and comfort in knowing they are not alone in their situations. Situations such as bad family reactions, issues which age gap couples face within their relationships such as marriage and children, and the response they have from the outside world.

Now, I am not one to rise to petty people who it seem have nothing better to do with their day than sit behind a computer screen and type all about their opinion on matters that do not concern them. And I still haven't. Instead, I have read and absorbed what they have said and feel my response needs to be written somewhere, even if it's just for me to look back on. They will never read it most likely, probably no-one will read this, but it helps me get things off my chest and mind if I just write them down.

A few members of this Facebook group, it seems, have told their stories to newspapers, who have in turn released the articles on their Facebook pages. This is something I view as incredibly brave and although it's something I don't think I could ever do because the backlash would upset me far too much, I do see what they are trying to do by getting their stories out there. They are trying to bring a sense of normality to a subject that I hadn't even known was such a taboo. This in itself is a hugely difficult task, not made at all easier by the person writing the article littering it with constant commentary about "how old the man/woman was when the younger man/woman was this age". I get it, of course. The aim of some news articles are to report, but most nowadays are to shock and start a discussion, therefore pulling in the most comments and reactions on their post.

It is some of the comments which have angered me. I find it utterly incomprehensible, with everything else going on in this world, that people choose to hate two people in love.

The list of issues with the world that these people could be concentrating on is HUGE: war, poverty, bombings, murder, ACTUAL paedophilia, extreme hunger, rape, sex slaves, slavery in general, mistreatment of animals, lack of clean water, poor sanitation. This is only the slightest of slight compilations of things which actually deserve and require these people's outrage and discussion. Why aren't they focusing on these things? Why aren't they using their brains to try and help with something which negatively effects millions of people? Instead of bashing people who are doing them absolutely no harm? People who are plain and simply in love?

I'm not naive, I get that Facebook is a playground for "trolls", which in my book is a loose term for someone who needs likes on their "funny" comment in order to feel they are accomplishing something in life. Facebook is full to the brim of people trying to "win the internet" for that day. In all honesty, people who put others down in the name of comedy are not funny in the slightest. If you need someone else's misfortune to crack a joke, you need to sit the fuck down and take a long hard look at your own life.

People have opinions, I also understand this. After all, is this whole post not my own opinion? However, I feel my opinion on this subject is somewhat more justified than theirs. My outlook on life is incredibly simple: live how you please...within reason. What I mean by this is that as long as you are not harming anybody else, physically or mentally, you should be able to do with your own life what you see fit.

These age-gap couples are in loving, consensual relationships with one another. They have fallen in love and have chosen to pursue a relationship and created their own small globe of happiness. Which is awesome. Why shouldn't they be happy? Why does the older female have to be labelled a cougar? Or the younger female branded as having daddy issues?

We humans are complex creatures, we are no two the same and we all choose to lead different paths in lives and that is what makes up the world. If everyone were the same, there would be no interest. The beauty of everyone being different is that they are unique, and they bring to the world something utterly personal to them. This is how we have different cultures belonging to different countries, and we celebrate this. We travel to these countries and marvel at what makes them culturally different to us and we love it because it is something new and beautiful and unique to that specific place.

So why is being in love with someone twenty, thirty or forty years senior considered such an inappropriate thing? "Because it's disgusting, he's clearly a peado." No. No. And no, again. If these people had a brain cell to share between them they would realise that if somebody is over the age of eighteen, which is recognised most of the world over as being adult, they physically cannot be a peadophile. It's impossible. "It's inappropriate because she/he is only with him/her for the money." Wrong. The majority of the age-gap couples I have met on Facebook, myself included, are financially stable because they are together. They both work and both pay their way fairly.

When I first told my parents about my age-gap relationship, my mother told me to ask my boyfriend how he would feel if his eleven-year-old daughter was to end up with someone twenty-seven years her senior when she was twenty, like me. And I did ask him, or rather, I told him what she had said. He said that as a father, yes, he understood why they were having a bit of trouble understanding it. BUT, he would be happy with it as long as his daughter was. When you are an adult, and you make a decision, you make it for yourself and your own happiness. There was never an option for me to just do what my parents wanted, because that would be sacrificing my own happiness in order to please them. And it is not their life, it is mine, and mine alone.

Now, things are slightly better with my parents, although they will probably still need more time to wrap their heads around it. I am pregnant with my first child, and I did, at one point, find myself considering what I would do if my daughter were to grow up and enter into a similar relationship to her parents. And I'm fine with it. I might be biased, but that doesn't matter. It is exactly the same situation if my daughter were to come to me and tell me she were a lesbian. Love, whether it be same-sex, opposite-sex or age-gap, is ALL THE SAME.

Many people in the comments detailed what they thought could be possible issues with age-gap relationships. One being: "how on earth do you find something in common with someone who is so much older than you." The answer: Easily. All sorts of different people connect with all sorts of different people. My partner and I both enjoy board games, card games, walks, a fair few pub crawls (before I got pregnant of course). We love finding little hidden gems of pubs with unique decor, and we like finding new places for a good Sunday Lunch. We both like much of the same food and we both laugh at the same things. We can mess around together and play-fight, and we discuss our views on different matters the same as every other "normal" couple out there. We have both always liked to read, and we both have creative tendencies. We're easy-going, open-minded, non-judgemental people. It just so happens that he was born in 1969 and I was born in 1996. And I see no issue with that. At all.

To me, the people who go out of their way to insult and mock others must seriously have such sad lives. There must be so much going wrong in them that the only time they get any sort of mental relief is when they are attempting to knock others down. It is the only explanation I can think of. Because I lead a happy and fulfilled life, and I have plenty to look forward to, and I have never felt the need to comment on someone else's life decisions or condemn them for those decisions. I don't judge others, because it is their life, and their lives do not affect mine in any way at all.

And so, I will continue my life with my lovely boyfriend and my daughter who is going to be coming into this world very soon. And I will show her all of the beauty in it and teach her that love, in all it's shapes and forms, is the most beautiful and sacred thing we, as humans, are capable of. To love another and be loved by another is truly an incredibly pure and amazing thing which should be cherished for all of time. It is most likely inevitable that my partner will pass before me (although not certain) and I accept that. I accept that I would rather have thirty to forty years with him that spend a lifetime with someone who I just didn't feel the same connection with.

Life is not a trial run. We don't get a second go at this. Live it as you please. Do whatever makes you happy. And fuck those who try to tear you down for doing your thing.

❤️

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You’re going to have a hard time in life if you let every little mistake bother you.. Life is good. Enjoy it.

M.O. Walsh, My Sunshine Away (via books-n-quotes)

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We’re all scared most of the time. Life would be lifeless if we weren’t. Be scared, and then jump into that fear. Again and again. Just remember to hold on to yourself while you do it.

Emma Hooper, Etta and Otto and Russell and James (via books-n-quotes)

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Further Musings

To be completely honest, I view social media as an enemy. Does it stop me from using social media platforms? No. But the whole idea of social media repels me at times, so much so that I am forever installing and deleting apps like Facebook and Instagram. I haven't used my twitter account in God knows how long.

I think it is perhaps because so much of it is fabricated; people post what they want the depiction of their lives to be, truth or not. Which is great, and the whole point of social media is to be able to express yourself as you wish, excluding certain extremes. However, there is always that little voice somewhere in the back of your head worrying that the pictures you post to instagram don't make your life look glamorous or fun enough. That the Facebook post you just shared doesn't paint you in the perfect image you want to uphold of yourself.

This generation is brilliant, for all of our acceptance and determination to move forward, but I feel occasionally that social media is our crux, our downfall.

I finished a book recently by Sophie Kinsella called My Not-So Perfect Life, and I loved it. There was a huge undercurrent throughout the book of the pressure the protagonist felt to look good to the social media world. So much so that she would take pictures of events not even happening to her, of a cup of coffee on a table that didn't belong to her because she couldn't afford even that in reality.

If I wanted to post about a shiny, infallible life I could, but I would much rather accept the fact and show that sometimes my house is a state and needs cleaning, or that I sit in my pyjamas all day with greasy hair occasionally and watch trash TV like Jeremy Kyle pretty much all day long without doing anything remotely meaningful or proactive.

A section of the novel by Sophie Kinsella that I read revolved around an idea the protagonist had for her instagram account. Instead of posting all of this fake images of perfection, she posted images of things that weren't so perfect in her life...#mynotsoperfectlife.

This idea has really stuck to me, I LOVE the thought that you just put everything out there, good or bad, no embellishing or filters or exaggerations.

Life is full of good and bad, and I have always and will always believe that to really appreciate the good stuff, you have to accept the bad stuff right along with it.

And so, I'm thinking that this could be a little photo project for myself, for every time I upload a photo of something good, I also upload something about my day which perhaps isn't so good and isn't so perfect. Just to show that good and bad can come along in equal measure, but we can choose to enjoy and appreciate the good that much more because of the bad times/things that have happened.

❤️

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Musings

Thinking of my little girl, thinking about how it will feel to be a mother and hold her in my arms, to look at her little face and realise that I half created this actual person with the one I love.

I feel like I will be honoured to be her mother.

There is so much I want for her, so much I want to be for her. I want her to be happy and healthy of course, but most of all I want her to be curious.

I want her to dive into new hobbies and passions because they call to her, and because they make her feel alive and fulfilled and indulged.

I want her to pick up the leaves that have turned golden brown and amber in the autumn months and marvel at them.

I want to see wonder written all over her little face.

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Built ins| Accented with traditional design Our1917farmhouse@ig

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And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about

Haruki Murakami (via perrfectly)

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I choose you over everyone.

Rainbow Rowell, Fangirl (via books-n-quotes)