hanculs-blog

[hanculs-blog]

( sangwoo ‌)

     sangwoo  released  a  deep  breath  after  she  finally  spoke ,  not  realizing  he  had  been  holding  it  in  the  whole  time .  if  he  was  being  honest ,  he  hadn’t  expect  her  to  agree  with  him  in  the  slightest .  she  had  been  pushing  away  his  attempts  to  reconcile ,  but  he  guessed  they  were  both  tired  of  all  the  pushing  and  holding  back .  “ yeah ,  that  works .  i’ll  be  there  soon , ”  he  replied  into  the  phone ,  softly  as  if  he  was  afraid  that  he’d  ruin  the  moment  and  make  her  take  back  the  words  if  he  spoke  any  louder .  “ see  you , ”  he  added  before  hanging  up  the  phone ,  not  wanting  to  end  their  conversation  without  saying  anything .  taking  a  moment  to  slip  on  a  jacket  and  grab  his  keys ,  sangwoo  practically  raced  out  of  his  apartment  and  to  his  car .  he  wasted  no  time  in  turning  the  car  on  and  driving  towards  the  apartment  he  knew  haneul  now  lived  in . it  didn’t  take  that  long  to  get  to  it  and  soon  enough  he  was  jumping  out  of  the  car  and   stepping  towards  the  front  door  to  the  apartment .  he  took  a  deep  breath  before  knocking  on  the  door ,  unsure  of  what  would  happen  now  that  they  were  finally  giving  each  other  a  chance  to  talk ,  but  knowing  it  was  long  overdue .  

      THERE WAS a small moment of silence before his reply. it was only a second but it was enough for her mind to wander around, about the past and about the possibilities. then he spoke, quiet and softly. “ ok, see you then ” she repeated before hanging up. and then she stood there, sitting on the sofa with her eyes fixed on the phone, almost as if what had just happened was too surreal to be true. haneul didn’t know what had made her agree to see him, not because she wanted to have nothing with him -sangwoo had been in the back of her mind pretty constantly, especially the past months- but because she simply had assumed they were beyond that.and because it was easier and less painful. but maybe, just maybe, she was finally doing something right.

       she hadn’t moved a bit when she heard the knocking. in his bed, dal raised his head and started sniffing with curiosity. a quick look at her phone confirmed that it wasn’t that she had stayed there for a long time, though, he had been fast. very fast actually. taking a deep breath, haneul walked towards the door. and there he was. “ hi ” she greeted. “ you’ve been quick ” she added, pushing forward any awkwardness. “ come in, do you want a drink? ” moving to a side, she gestured him to enter, only to find dal was suddenly next to her, sniffing in his direction and waggling the tail so slightly. he usually was very indifferent towards people, so the fact that he was there at all proved that he reminded and liked sangwoo.

[hanculs-blog]

I have survived. I am here. Confused, screwed up, but here.

Laurie Halse Anderson

[hanculs-blog]

Text | Open

Jaesun: it does. it's like the professional version of daddy

Jaesun: jk don't quit because of my awful joke

Jaesun: just get whatever you like

HANEUL: kinky, i dig it!

HANEUL: whatever i like, ok

HANEUL: does that include this very expensive looking bottle of brandy? :D

HANEUL: btw are you aware the storage kinda looks like a mess? who organized this place? it makes no sense

[hanculs-blog]

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chungha: snapping performance video

[hanculs-blog]

Text | Open

Jaesun: you don't have to call me boss right now

Jaesun: smart. please do that

Jaesun: only if you need to get paid to hang with your awesome boss

HANEUL: but doesn't it sound cool being called boss?

HANEUL: jk i'm stopping

HANEUL: oh well you've caught me on that i guess

HANEUL: ok i'm in the storage, what do you what me to bring?

[hanculs-blog]

Text | Open

Jaesun: Hello?

Jaesun: I'll pay and share drinks if you buy them and come over

Jaesun: I'm feeling too lazy to go out

HANEUL: hey boss

HANEUL: i can take something from the storage, this way you've already payed for it!

HANEUL: does it count as doing extra hours if i bring them to you? :D

[hanculs-blog]

chungha – snapping ♡

[hanculs-blog]

forgive me father, for i have sinned. and as i kneel here now; hands red with blood, i know deep down, that i’ll do it again.

confessions || k.a.

[hanculs-blog]

( woobin )

no matter how hard he tries, woobin can’t pretend he doesn’t see the curious, sometimes, disturbed glances that are thrown in his direction. he is seated on his own by the bar, sipping on his third glass of coke of the night and let that be exactly why he can’t blame them for their perplexity. he knows it’s not exactly a normal thing to do, on the contrary, people usually visit places like this to do the complete opposite. but woobin had been raised to be a soldier and even though he had lost that title almost 2 years ago, a sober life was one of the many habits he didn’t seem able to shake. not that he really had to. there were enough sad girls around who were just like him, looking for some company for the rest of the night, and they had never cared much for the lacking of his drunken state.

still, woobin can’t possibly try to claim that’s the only reason he’s here. no, there is something that has been on his mind since the first time he visited the verve, more specifically one of the dancers he had ended up going home with for the night. the name she had spoken had sounded oddly familiar, a small frame graced with features he had definitely seen before but woobin can’t seem to put one and one together. so maybe he is looking for a little more than company tonight. maybe he is looking for a conversation, for any piece of information on the girl that could solve the questions that had started to cloud his head.

after what feels like hours, @hanculs finally shows face, popping up from behind the bar out of nowhere. a part of him had already started to fear that maybe tonight was her night off and yet here she was, lips curling up ever so slightly though it’s hard to catch under the dimmed lights. “are we already past the point where it’s still acceptable to ask you if you come around here often?”

      SHE HAD found him at some point during the night, sitting all by himself in the same exact place as the previous time, and the time before. both two occasions ending the same way too. a surprising discovery yet not disappointing. haneul hadn’t approach at that moment thought, she was confined in the stage of the club for at least another hour, dancing under the flashing lights. and so she had ended losing track. it was only afterwards, when she was leaving the staff room looking for a refreshment once her shift finished, that he saw him again. as late as it was, he could have left already, yet there he was: still in the same spot, still no drinks, and still no other company. it almost seemed as if he was waiting for someone specific.

      haneul walked among the people, figures dancing to the pumping music, arms raised, moving to the unison beat of their souls. “ hey there! ” she chuckled at his question. many could have considered that a line like that,  after the first encounter, was cheesy at best -and awkward at worst- but haneul thought otherwise. only because they had already went through that road, it didn’t mean they couldn’t walk it again; and only because they were straight-forward, it didn’t mean they couldn’t have some fun. moreover, she really enjoyed being courted. “ oh, no, not necessarily. go on ” a smile danced on her lips as she leaned next to woobin, but not sitting side him yet. “ we can even do as if it’s the first time we met, that could be fun ”. she joked, although she also really enjoyed playing pretend.

[hanculs-blog]

⁕ — ･ msg ⇢ ???

MYUNGIE: i mean, i don't know... do you think it's worth the shot?

MYUNGIE: blow his mind but effortlessly???

MYUNGIE: how do i even do that though?

MYUNGIE: you've seen the way i dress and it's pretty much just some simple tee and some jagger pants

MYUNGIE: comfortable shit right there

MYUNGIE: i mean that would pass as an outfit for the date right?

HANEUL: of course it is, if that's what you want!

HANEUL: i mean you can dress as you please and i'm sure he won't mind

HANEUL: but if you want to try something for your first date, go for it girl

HANEUL: you can put on a mind-blowing look while still keeping it comfortable

HANEUL: you still have those skinny jeans right? i can lend you a nice crop top, add a pair booties, a jacket and you are ready to kill

HANEUL: the rest is all attitude, and you have plenty of that :D

[hanculs-blog]

*avoids sadness and pain with self-destructive behavior* :~)

[hanculs-blog]

( sangwoo‌ )

      ever  since  the  night  of  the  blackout ,  sangwoo  had  been  thinking  of  @hanculs  and  how  nice  it  had  been  for  them  to  be  around  each  other  without  the  constant  arguments  and  how  it  almost  felt  like  old  times ,  before  things  had  gotten  so  messed  up  between them .  and  with  aza  acting  so  odd  recently ,  he  didn’t  have  many  people  to  just  talk  to  and  that  made  him  miss  haneul’s  company  even  more .  all  those  thoughts  continued  to  spin  around  his  head  until  he  finally decided  to  do  something  about  it  and  grab  his  phone ,  pressing  haneul’s  contact  number .  he  didn’t  know  how  many  rings  it  took  to  get  an  answer ,  but  the  important  thing  is  that  it  went  through  and  he  was  quick  to  speak . “ haneul ?  this  is  sangwoo .  listen ,  i’ve  been  thinking  and  we  really  need  to  talk … about  everything .  i  don’t  want  to  do  this  over  the  phone , so  why  don’t  we  meet  somewhere ? ”  he  took  in  a  breath  before  speaking  again . “ let’s  just  put  everything  aside  for  now  and  actually talk ,  just  this  once . ”

      HER PHONE rang and the name blinking on the screen made haneul’s heart skip a beat for a second. silence had followed since the short text conversation they had had after their accidental reencounter. and it was strange how that silence had weighted so much, even more than during all the previous months when she had missed his presence. it was almost as if haneul had forgotten at some point what it was to have him in her life, like a longing memory she wanted to get back but could barely remember, and now everything had come back again and it made it all even more hurtful. he had tried to reach her not that long ago and she had pushed him away like always did. now he was trying a second time. she wasn’t going to do the same again. “ you’re right ” she finally spoke, only after letting sangwoo say all he had to. she could sense his wariness, almost as if he was worried she could hang up at any time; she didn’t fault him for that thought. “ i’m home right now, you can come if you don’t mind ”. home. it wasn’t the place she had been raised in, nor the crappy shared room she had moved years ago. there was only one place she called that way: hanjun’s apartment, now hers. she had stayed there more than at any other place. he had been welcomed too, in a way also his home.

[hanculs-blog]

✉ ø & ♀

Send “✉” for a text that WASN’T SENT.

( not sent ) today it makes one year and i don’t know if i can keep going on all alone. i really wish you were here right now, woowoo, i really miss you

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

( 2.35 AM ) hey( 2.36 AM ) how is your shoulder?( 2.36 AM ) you better had a doctor look at it

Send “&” for a LOVING text.

( 5.22 AM ) woowoo meeting you, caring for you, sticking with you, those are things i won’t ever regret. please remember that.

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

( 00:13 AM ) well just as a reminder, i may have pushed you away but at the end you still chose to leave

[hanculs-blog]

snapping | chungha 

[hanculs-blog]

⁕ — ･ msg ⇢ ???

MYUNGIE: IT IS! I never thought we'd actually go out on a date together to be honest.

MYUNGIE: no no no no!!!

MYUNGIE: i don't know if he'd put much effort to our date but little effort is still effort?? i don't want him to think that i didn't care

MYUNGIE: we both know how jae is...

MYUNGIE: he's pretty much a simple guy???? I DON'T KNOW

HANEUL: well it was about time?!

HANEUL: ok ok i see i have the look

HANEUL: you have to go for "blow his mind but effortlessly" kind of look

HANEUL: he will think you look like a bomb without even trying

HANEUL: which honestly you kind of do so that'd be easy