hamon-clacker-special-blog

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Reblog this with your muse’s “I’ll kill you” face

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Send me a fandom and I'll tell you a character I'd roleplay from that fandom.

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freelancechameleon:

“… A… spider? No, it’s a continent. And a country.”

Those Germans, though, sounded a lot like some nations he could name. Archanea under Emperor Hardin, for instance.

“Now you’re speaking my language!”

As was already evident, immature tricks and pranks were practically Xane’s way of life. The bigger the reaction, the better. And rarely did he get better reactions than the ones he got from overly serious jerks who hated pranks.

This was sounding like a match metaphorically made in heaven.

“So, who’s the sap you wanna hit?”

The idea of pranking someone that hard made him almost giddy with excitement especially the prospect of whom was going to get pranked.

“Oho! I know the perfect person you can harass! How about we go and harass this guy named Caesar? (crimsonrxpple) That guy can’t take a joke at all and he always seems pissed whenever one of my ‘stupid’ ideas work.”

Although, how would they prank him? Over time, most of his ideas and plans often didn’t work as well as they used too seeing as the Caesar was slowly getting more and more wise to his shenanigans.

“But we’re going to need a plan! This guy has already been onto more then a few things I’ve done. But when it does go through, his reactions are priceless!”

*draws mustache on you while you sleep*

It was quite amazing how heavy he was sleeping.. Or rather, the manner he had managed to fall asleep. Though.. when he did wake up, that was a completely different story.

“Ah.. I needed that nap.. Sometimes you just gotta get out of the house…. Let me just.. W-what the hell is this???”

Smudging the mustache, he could only shout “OH NO!”

“SOME BASTARD IS GONNA PAY FOR THIS!”

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“Nrgh! Not worth your time?! I launched you into space! What the hell are you even..”

“Actually. Okay Kars, I’ll see you later. Stay safe, okay?”

"KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS"

“Tch–so you were dragged into this city as well, hm Joseph? It’s no matter, I’ll deal with you one way or another later on, you aren’t worth my time at the moment.”

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kinghozuki:

Suigetsu continued. 

“People lived pretty peacefully. There were a few wars here and there, but pretty peaceful for the most part. But there was a man named Madara Uchiha, and his subordinate Obito who wanted to seal everyone in an infinite dream world using the moon. He succeeded, but was stopped by my team’s leader,Sasuke, and his former teammate. After that was pretty much peace with some minor bouts here and there.And that’s pretty much it. We’re ninja so ninja stuff entails.” 

“Jeez.... You make it sound like all that happens rather normally.. Here I am, just some average shmo around here.” He have a short, awkward laugh.

Compared to almost everyone he met, he was rather average and it was starting to feel a little tiring being that guy with Hamon or more aptly, the guy who ‘s good at doing Parlor tricks with Hamon.

“Well, for one thing. That’s a lotta interesting stuff. I don’t really know much about ninjutsu outside of it being like magic to me, but the stuff I can do isn’t comparable to what it sounds like you folks can accomplish... Not like I’d have the aptitude. It was a pain in the ass spending a month practicing Hamon hardcore and that was in a life or death situation.”

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awildgildartsappears:

Well, that guy was sincerely sorry about that incident.

Something that causes Gildarts quickly a small grin on his face. Just when he’s about to shrug it off with a ‘Don’t worry I’m fine’, the other points over to the (absolutely agreeable) perfect diversion. He couldn’t agree more with the other.

“Oho. It surely did. Although I would prefer meeting these pretty ladies under less worrisome circumstances as being kidnapped into the same big city.”

As he figured, the other was another one dragged here from another world. Judging by his garb, it was most likely certainly different then the Earth he hailed from. Would it even be called Earth at this point? In any case, the other man seemed much older then he did.

“Well, what can someone really do? We may as well enjoy what we got when we get it since I’ve tried at least a million different things to try and leave. I say that they can’t keep us here forever!”

A few moments would pass before speaking again.

“So.. Have you spoken to any of them yet? They yearn for your attention Uh... Oh right, introductions. Joseph Joestar is mine and yours would be?”

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freelancechameleon:

“Right, right, sure,” Xane waved off Joseph’s admonishment. Threats weren’t usually his style anyway. They didn’t mess with people’s heads nearly as much as coming face-to-face with themselves or someone they knew acting strangely.

He had to wonder what “vampires” and “Germans” were, though. Sounded like nationalities, maybe?

“Miiiight wanna run that by me again, since I got no idea what… uh… any of that is. Only thing I got out of that is your name’s Joseph, which I guess is the important bit, and you get angry easy. Never heard of any city called New York… or York, for that matter. And the hell’s Hamon?”

“Well, whatever. Name’s Xane! I don’t come from anywhere most people back on Archanea have heard of, so chances are pretty good you won’t know it either. The important thing is that I’m the best shapeshifter around!”

“I guess that makes two of us! I’ve got zero idea of what a Archanea is except that it kinda sounds like a spider. And germans are misguided people alright? They’re bad news because they’re all so crazy about winning the war and being number one or whatever.”

“And Shapeshifter huh? Think I might come looking for if I wanna prank someone. Sound good? This guy I’m thinking of HATES pranks but he’d never expect a shapeshifter to come mess with him. With your shapeshifting and my Hamon, we can do a great many things! Hahaha! Just not after 6 at night, alright? I get really lazy and it’s my time to relax.”

*draws mustache on you while you sleep*

It was quite amazing how heavy he was sleeping.. Or rather, the manner he had managed to fall asleep. Though.. when he did wake up, that was a completely different story.

“Ah.. I needed that nap.. Sometimes you just gotta get out of the house…. Let me just.. W-what the hell is this???”

Smudging the mustache, he could only shout “OH NO!”

“SOME BASTARD IS GONNA PAY FOR THIS!”

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volcanicprxncess:

“I’ll believe it, when I see a fanger for myself.” She quips back, turning her nose up. Long way to go too, seeing as he’s fifty feet tall. It isn’t really argumentive as it is challenging, but even while she’s attempting to deny him her usual sense of slight naiviety…she can’t help but be curious. Hell, it’s almost like she’s fighting herself to keep a multitude of questions at bay. And…..

in the end she fails in the task. “What do you things eat them?” She’d never heard of creatures that ate vampires–unless he was talking about an equally mythical creature, like perhaps say, a werewolf. “Don’t take over your—” Just make it easy for me, why don’t you? She might not have made the sleazy joke she was thinking of, but her facial expression, probably does the trick. “I’m not a ghost you know.” She proceeds to clarify. “S’not how it works–don’t get me wrong, you look pretty strong, but you wouldn’t be a good candidate for a Take over, even if I could possess other people.” Giving him a pat on the arm, Amalia begins her explanation.  “See what you gotta do, is get your hands on a powerful demon,  kick it’s ass and get in it’s head. I didn’t do so bad in that category, Ukobaach nearly killed me. So, about this Ham–”    and look, he was already ahead of her! She’d never heard of Hamon before,   neither Tibet (she’s still trying to figure out all the different regions of this world). But she can at least associate that pretty well with light magic from Earthland to a certain degree. “Really? How do you…does closely guarded mean you can’t give me a demonstration?”

“Argh! I can’t prove it but they exist alright! And the things that eat Vampires are called Pillar Men. Bastards about as tall as I am and can do anything the Vampires can but better and of course, they absorb them like via osmosis.. Still can’t go out in sunlight though but it doesn’t kill them as it just turns them into stone to be reawakened again later. I think they’ve been around almost as long as the dawn of man.”

Thinking over what he had said, it did kinda sound dirty didn’t it? Well, whatever! he didn’t have to time or the care to think over what he said and continued on anyways, administering to her questions and listening to her explanation of what she could do.

“Nice! I wish I could do that! The best I can do is use Hamon to interfere and mess with the nervous systems of creatures to a certain extent. As for it being a closely guarded secret... Not.. Really.”

Thinking on it, how could he show her? Being as subtle as it was in the manipulation of life energy, it was already in theory circulating through him constantly.

“Well.. For starters, Hamon is currently flowing through my body right now in fact. Since it works off breathe, so long as I keep breathing my certain pattern, my body already benefits from healing a little bit faster, numbing from pain, and overall just making me a lot stronger. As for applications of Hamon...”

He took a glass of water and focused the energy into his fingertips. Turning it upside down, the water was almost statically retained in the glass. “More then just that, I suppose. It’s hard to describe what I do and my power doesn’t have any fancy give aways... I guess I could drink the water and spit it like bullets...”

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hol-horse-and-emperor:

Hol Horse kept the same aggravated look as he stared Joseph down. His hand flexed and twitched as he felt the strong urge to Call out Emperor and demonstrate how right he was, but didn’t.

“That was really uncalled for.” He growled at him.

“What was? The death threat? I agree!” Joseph grinned, going on. He didn’t know why his friend was so upset and aggressive. Perhaps he had hit a nerve? In any case, Joseph hoped he didn’t rub him too wrong a way and too far. Or was it because he was right? It was quite the reaction...

“Ah, tell you what! Lunch is on me, alright Mr. Killer? Just pick the place and it’ll happen!”

“I...”

24.

“I am going to kill you.”

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freelancechameleon:

It was probably fortunate that Xane was significantly shorter than Hardin. Admittedly, that actually put them on a crash course with his head, which was not so fortunate, but at least it meant that he didn’t have as far to move to get out of the way, and that meant that Joseph’s warning was just barely sufficient.

Xane dropped to the ground, and the clackers sailed over his head.

“Yow! Okay, yeesh, not doing that again.”

Standing up and casually dusting himself off, Xane gave a crooked smile and said,

“Alright, then, now that’s done and over with and you haven’t broken any of my bones, how ‘bout some introductions?”

Sailing over his head, the wooden clackers continued and slammed into the wall. Joseph was mildly upset at the style of the prank Xane had committed.

“First tip! When pranking, never insinuate or use violence! People like me get jumped by vampires and crazy German assassins on a daily basis! My reaction to sudden violence is sudden violence! Why I could bashed your head in just now by pure accident! And I don’t have time to take care of.. Hah..”

Joseph have a fair sigh. He was, after all, a kid. He had to remember to calm down and just take deep breathes instead of getting so worked up.

“Alright. I guess it was kinda my bad too for flipping the table too fast. Anyways... The name is Joseph Joestar! A citizen of New York city and the only practitioner of Hamon there!”

At least... That sounded cool.. Right?

*draws mustache on you while you sleep*

It was quite amazing how heavy he was sleeping.. Or rather, the manner he had managed to fall asleep. Though.. when he did wake up, that was a completely different story.

“Ah.. I needed that nap.. Sometimes you just gotta get out of the house…. Let me just.. W-what the hell is this???”

Smudging the mustache, he could only shout “OH NO!”

“SOME BASTARD IS GONNA PAY FOR THIS!”

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crimsonrxpple:

            Red.

      All he saw was red when he stared at his brown-haired friend. 

      “I’m sorry, what was that, Joseph? I don’t quite think I heard you right.”

“I Saaaaaaaaaid. I stole something from you! Betcha never guess what it is!”

“Oh! And it’s nothing important this time, okay? Quit getting pissed!”

“I...”

“I stole something from youuuuuu~”

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homuchan:

“Yeah, definitely. If you look carefully enough, someone might have a Karsburger on the menu. Speaking of spacefood, that is.”

Hopefully, he’d enjoy the little joke.

“Huh? The sign’s written in… I think that’s Russian. But maybe it’s one of those fusion places. Want to check it out?”

At this point, she was just interested in seeing the guy wolf down some food. She could imagine it easily enough, but seeing it in person would be another show entirely. 

“A Karsburger? Don’t even joke about things like that! I don’t need food that can’t be eaten or chewed on without needing to go to space or dipped in lava first.”

He laughed, though wondered how the woman knew of Kars. As far as he knew, most of the world’s knowledge on the being was hidden or purged. Who was she?

“Russian food? I can’t say I’ve had too much of that but I’m kinda interested in what kinds of food they might have. I remember me and the granny once went to a place in New York when I was younger. I can’t say it sat with her stomach well but I remember having a small bowl of Beef Stroganoff. It wasn’t too bad if I recall.

Entering the restaurant, Joseph quickly put in two people for a seat and the pair would soon find themselves by a window seat facing outside, giving them a view of the many people walking around Citta. The two menus laid before them contained many items.

“Woah hohoh! They actually have all kinds of Russian cuisine here! Stroganoff! Borscht! Kasha! Wonder if they have any dishes with significant meat... I’ve definitely gotta get a Sbiten and Zakuski though!”

Of course, to the hungry man, it was like bringing a kid into a candy store.

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freelancechameleon:

Xane grinned.

“Right, good. Just wanted to make sure. Wouldn’t want to get the wrong guy, would I?”

Bright, purple light flashed once more, and when it faded, Xane had now assumed the towering form of the former emperor of Archanea, who he’d fought, alongside Marth, so hard to bring down. Hardin was a giant of a man, taller even than Joseph, and, while thinner, his armor gave the illusion that he was of far greater size than he really was. Xane’s grin suddenly seemed far more sinister, and the deathly pale of his skin and the red eyes on black sclera only helped.

“After all,” he added, “wouldn’t want to hurt the wrong person!”

Xane-as-Hardin slammed the Gradivus, the great spear Hardin carried, into the ground mere inches away from Joseph. It was a mere fake that held none of the original’s magic, and Xane only held a third of Hardin’s strength, yet still the point dug into the pavement, which cracked and shattered from the force.

Xane pulled the spear back from the ground, and pointed it at Joseph. Then, another purple light washed over him, and he was again himself, with a cheerful grin on his face and hands on his hips.

“Nah, kidding! You said somethin’ about exchanging tips?”

So apparently, this guy was a shapeshifter and furthermore, judging by the sinister appearance of whom he had turned into. He had absolutely no qualms laying out pain which was only emphasized by the threatening spear smashing the ground before him. If that were to hit him..

So there are people like this in Citta as well. I really need to be more careful with whom I openly prank or meet since I didn’t think there would be anyone who’d be so callous as to attack in broad daylight. There’s a pretty good chance it was just a display of strength before the actual attack so I just need to throw my weapon before he can finish his draw! A strike and move!

As Hardin gripped and began to move the spear back, Joseph Joestar was already in motion. Vampires had moved even faster then he and his life could have ended shorter but the threat was just as big. Hamon wouldn’t help against a human, so he made no effort to immediately start giving them a massive start up before flinging them at Hardin. Even if they were wood, they should hit with enough force to at least severely wind him, aiming for a shot to the lungs so he could run.

Though, when Xane had shapeshifted back, the clackers were already on their way to deliver the strike.

“OHHHH NOOOO! LOOOOK OUUUUUUT!”

*draws mustache on you while you sleep*

It was quite amazing how heavy he was sleeping.. Or rather, the manner he had managed to fall asleep. Though.. when he did wake up, that was a completely different story.

“Ah.. I needed that nap.. Sometimes you just gotta get out of the house…. Let me just.. W-what the hell is this???”

Smudging the mustache, he could only shout “OH NO!”

“SOME BASTARD IS GONNA PAY FOR THIS!”

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freelancechameleon:

Rather unfortunately, Xane did not notice the note sticking to his back. Equally unfortunately, he had the bad luck to encounter someone who would take up the apparent offer within the five minutes the note was stuck to his back.

Five minutes and some alternately bewildered and angry explanations later, Xane stood with the note crushed in his fist. He’d been inclined to punch the offender (who was currently scuttling away rather embarrassedly), but had decided that would probably hurt himself more than anyone. Damn the frailty of his body.

Now, he was searching for the one who’d stuck the note to his back in the first place. Honestly, he was pretty impressed and could certainly appreciate the joke, but he wasn’t about to simply let this go. One good turn deserves another, or so they say… (blithely ignoring, of course, that he was the one who started it in the first place).

It wasn’t overly long until he spotted the man he’d tricked earlier, watching him. As likely a perpetrator as any.

Meandering towards Joseph with his arms held behind his head in a deceptively casual manner, Xane grinned and said:

“Hey… don’t suppose this little note here’s yours?”

“Note? Oh! Of course it is! I have to return a good prank for another you know? It took forever to remove that stupid mustache!” He replied rather openly with a laugh. At least, putting himself in the spotlight might stop any other pranks for the time being as any attempt now or soon would easily be noticed granted he couldn’t prank him back. Not that he had any more intention too.

“Well, now that I’ve been found out, I suppose I can stop all this hiding huh? You can do some pretty mean tricks with that shape shifting ability y’know.” Compared to the smaller man, Joseph was towering and vastly more muscular while retaining his high mobility. The disadvantage of that, was of course, Xane was much smaller and could sneak around and get away with that kind of thing. For himself to sneak around required large objects or to hide ABOVE on the roof.

“So, come to exchange tricks and tips between fellow jokesters?”

*draws mustache on you while you sleep*

It was quite amazing how heavy he was sleeping.. Or rather, the manner he had managed to fall asleep. Though.. when he did wake up, that was a completely different story.

“Ah.. I needed that nap.. Sometimes you just gotta get out of the house…. Let me just.. W-what the hell is this???”

Smudging the mustache, he could only shout “OH NO!”

“SOME BASTARD IS GONNA PAY FOR THIS!”

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volcanicprxncess:

“Laaaaaaame.” Despite that, it makes her laugh again.

Well, he was certainly kinder than she–or rather, more conniving. He did of course, know his roommate better  than she did, playing on his pride was pure genius. What she’d really like to know, however, was who in the hell referred to their significant other ‘as big’ anything really. “Right–Joseph it is.” And she agrees to that, far more quickly than perhaps necessary. But now, they were getting to the Good part! A thumb immediately points to her chest–and  honestly, the girl can’t quite but help, strike a bit of a pose.     “Glad you asked–you’re looking at, The Red Devil of    Mermaid Heel! Their finest take over mage.” A pause.      “You know, vampires aren’t real. You don’t gotta pull my leg like that–what about you huh? Do you study magic?”

“Hey! Vampires ARE real and so are the creatures that make them to eat them! Damn bastards are annoying too since you can’t kill them without Hamon and are a HELL of a lot harder to kill then anything else!”

Sighing, he thought over her words. Mermaid Heel meant nothing to him nor did her title. The face that, apparently, she was a mage and that she used “Take Over” magic was a foreign concept to him as Joseph knew nothing about Fairy Tail magic although he did piece the context together.

“And don’t think about Taking Over my body or something, alright?? I still need that!”

Of course. A joke, but just in case right?

“And no. I don’t study magic or even know anything about it. The closest thing you’d get to that form or concept is what I know has Hamon or Sendo. It’s a breathing technique that fills ones blood with energy and explosive energy light energy that’s a closely guarded secret by Tibetan Monks. Most importantly, it’s the kind of stuff that lets me kill Vampires and other creatures when there’s no sunlight. Not only that, being the life energy that conducts, I can use it for almost any kind of situation!”

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themagehero replied to your post://I think I’m just messing up but I can’t trim...

[It was part of a new tumblr update which hinders more than helps. I’d recommend downloading Xkit, followed by the editable reblogs extension. I’ll provide a link new-xkit-extension.tumb…

//Thank you very much! My life can functionally normally again thanks to you!

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//I think I’m just messing up but I can’t trim posts? Whenever I reblog stuff, it shoves everything into an box and I can’t edit any of it? I only have the option to remove previous reblogs or keep EVERYTHING.