halwy - Tumblr blog

[halwy]

The Onion pulling zero fucking punches.

[halwy]

I feel like killing a slug with a katana is more humane than sprinkling salt on them and they slowly suffer to death and they shrink up idk

[halwy]

U guys should try putting your pillow at the other end of your bed and sleeping down there for a night. For the novelty. It's fun. Sound of the summer

[halwy]

I do apologize for referring to your 8 year old as a “churlish young lout”. I find that epithet to accurately portray his conduct but I understand why I must show restraint in expressing my true opinions in his presence. Remove that infernal iPad from his grasp, I implore you.

[halwy]

a girl is never simply grocery shopping btw. she is grocery shopping and running away from the horrors. she is grocery shopping and trying to find her childhood whimsy somewhere between the aisles. she is grocery shopping and feeling an amount of grief that is insurmountable. but she is never just grocery shopping

[halwy]

David Attenborough narration: But this very special Fish has not come here to feed...

Me: No way dude I was so sure he was hungry but my expectations are subverted Listening and learning.

David Attenborough narration: ...He has come here... To Breed.

Me: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[halwy]

[halwy]

I think the fattest wild pigeon in a given city should be venerated as a sort of civic deity.

[halwy]

[halwy]

is the interaction with art and the culture of expression considered consuming content. is reading poetry or going to an art museum considered consuming content. is listening to music considered consuming content. if watching sports is consuming content does going to a game constitute content consumption? is the implication of this poll that an accusatory finger is being pointed at you, the media consumer, suggesting that you need to interact with something other than art? how did watching a film devolve into “consuming” “content” rather than an honest interaction between a storyteller and a fellow human being? is reading a book the same type of hobby as watching tiktok? what is the purpose of dividing the ways we interact with the world into categories like this?

[halwy]

Europe (yur·uhp) is an exotic peninsula in the extreme westernmost reaches of Asia with many fascinating cultures and landscapes and home to many of the world's last remaining feudal kingdoms, offering a glimpse back into a more simplistic way of living.

[halwy]

i forgot how fucking hilarious "informational" mental health diagrams can be.

[halwy]

chimpanzees are terrifying but if we teach them language they can be even scarier!

[halwy]

english isnt my first language btw so when u read my posts in ur head I want u to mispronounce at least one word in it and add a really heavy accent

[halwy]

This “hanging out” you mentioned is intriguing. Have my people call your people

[halwy]

[halwy]

Not now kitten. Daddy is watching two old white guys in the throes of rigor mortis battle for the fate of our land