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Halcyon Books' Blog turned 9 today!

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It is because the women cannot bring themselves to accept themselves as amputees!

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Continuation from Intro on www.amputee-devotee.tumblr.com. 

It is amazing how many amputee women insist that their boyfriends or husbands are NOT devotees.  What is wrong with a man finding the women attractive AS AMPUTEES?  That attitude is due to self discrimination by the women influenced by cultural mores.  

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Continuation from Intro on www.amputee-devotee.tumblr.com. 

It is amazing how many amputee women insist that their boyfriends or husbands are NOT devotees.  What is wrong with a man finding the women attractive AS AMPUTEES?  That attitude is due to self discrimination by the women influenced by cultural mores.  

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And First We Have:

INTRODUCTION

The formal definition of a “devotee” (in this context) would be a person who finds excitement in the thoughts about being associated with an amputee.  That excitement is not actually sexual, although most such uninformed descriptions are couched as such.  An explanation follows below.  The devotee is someone who is attracted to and wants to meet an amputee and who would then seek to become socially and romantically involved.  The fundamental devotee is inherently a shy person, cowed by all the derisive comments he has been presented with about the perverts who would find a disabled person attractive.  Many devotees have never personally met an amputee even accidentally in a manner that would allow him (or her) to become acquainted.  Perhaps they have seen one in a public setting, but a personal connection has never been experienced.  These persons are the subset of devotees who rely on fantasy to satisfy their attraction.  A small fringe group of these fantasists become very obnoxious because of their activity, and are properly denounced as “dreadful” in the amputee related literature.  These individuals are easily identified, and several blogs have been provided to expose them.

There is no ONE cause of the attraction being developed.  There are many avenues through which the fascination has been introduced.  From empathy to outright wannabe the emotional feelings are first generated in the young child, long before puberty.  Lisa, of “Lisa on a Limb,” reported how a young boy on seeing her 'mettle' declared with an emotional outcry “I want a leg like that!”  A new wannabe?  A latent devotee?  And other women amputees have reported similar reactions.  What will be the effect of watching Amy Purdy gyrating on two prosthetic legs on “Dancing With the Stars”?  How many viewers will not consider that she has been walking on prosthetics for fifteen years and has the strength and skill of the trained athlete?  How many have been impressed with her beauty, fascinated by her ability?  How many wannabes or latent devotees did she create?  Inspirational?  Hell, she was downright seductive!

In contrast there are those other not so timid devotees who make a personal effort to associate with amputees, often with the hopes of meeting a compatable soul mate. These are the people who frequent amputee gatherings, work in amputee support meetings as volunteers, or are engaged in the prosthetics industry.  These are the people who have enough social acumen so as to not become obnoxious.  These people are the backbone of the nonprofit rehabilitation and support activities.  And there also are the accidental devotees, those who without previous thought meet a beautiful amputee and become romantically involved.  And appreciation must be given to those who would act contrary to cultural discriminatorial attitudes and who would engage in romantic relationships and marry their dreamgirl.  Most women amputees have a slew of admirers and most are married.  Yet the ACA still denounces the very concept of an amputee being considered attractive and bans any such supportive activities.  

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Are you a person?

Personhood?

Somewhere on YouTube there is a video intended to present the amputee woman's assertion that “I am a person first.”  WRONG!!  You are fundamentally a woman first.  You are initially identified as a sexual being.  You do not become a 'person' until you say “Hello.”  Perhaps you feel that you are one through your own perspective, but you are not one from the perspective of others.  To anyone else you are primarily a sexual object to be observed until you do respond.  If someone says “hello” to you and you fail to return an acknowledgement, you still are not a person.  You are not someone with a personality, hence not a person.  Once the personality has been introduced by a response then you become a person.  And remember the common romantic phrase about “being an object of affection.”  The 'object' could become a person, but only after the initial communication is established.  People who are “standoffish” fail to have a personality.  So don't be standoffish!  Be a person.  And if someone does find you attractive, don't panic.  It's the natural order of things.

No matter how you cut it, beauty is a sexual presentation!  Whether it is a woman seeking to attract a man, or a woman competing with other women, the effort is all using sexual connotations.  Even when there is no explicit flirting the sexual component is present.  You always want to be considered 'sexy.'  So relax about being a 'person' and enjoy your sexual life, it's GOD's gift to you.  Recognize it and live life to the fullest.

And also remember that being an amputee is a 'feature' of your physical and personal being.  You can use it to great advantage if you approach it as such.  Don't look upon it as a disability, look at it as a means to an end.  Women want to be admired.  Most comments about the women whose pictures appear here on the Internet are admiration.  Use that advantage.  

Reblog with comments please.  

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Impromtu

Check out the entries on the other tumblr: www.halcyon-books.tumblr.com and the website www.halcyonbooks.com.

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Perspective

Everything depends on one's perspective.  And, everyone has a different perspective.

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Consider how threatening Natalie is to women.  Then imagine what a threat Natalie would be to women if she still had both legs.  Women's negative reaction to seeing an amputee woman is instinctive.  The disabled woman is considered unfit for reproduction, and is marginalized for social purposes.  Sex is all about the species' instinct for reproduction.  Human civilization and cultures have warped that instinct into being a pleasurable intimate activity connected to “love.”  But the basic instinct remains latent, hidden from view.  

Photo courtesy of Natalie's Palace

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Appropo

FEAR!!!

The basic reason for men to be attracted to disabled women is FEAR!  Latent fear.  Fear of women in general.  One general aspect of the background of devotees is having had a strong woman as a mother figure.  The mother is experienced as a super strong overbearing woman.  Women are perceived as being strong and threatening.  The disabled woman is perceived as having been neutralized.  The disabled woman is seen as nonthreatening. (See Dr. Angres's Comment in book front material)  Therefore the disabled woman is considered approachable.  The disabled woman is accepted as an allowable object of affection.  Even then, for a few men, that fear is expressed by animosity, represented by obnoxious reactions.  That perspective explains the difference between the reaction of men and women to persons who are amputees.  That also explains the reason for some men to produce “ES” (electronic surgery) pictures.  By doing so they are in effect neutralizing the woman in the picture.  It is not so much a form of violence as it is a form of self defense.  It has also become an elaborate art form. The pictures are representing a woman they feel they are allowed to be attracted to.  That effort explains the reason for them to be collecting pictures of disabled women.  The pictures represent their ideal love.  There are many different collections of various disabled women, blind, paraplegic, amputee, etc.  These collections are quite often displayed on the internet picture forums such as flickr and tumblr.  

How to deal with obnoxious devotees

The best method to deal with obnoxious devotees of any stripe is not to “stop” or “shun” them, but to “neutralize” them.  That effort is not intended to diminish them, but to help them overcome that fear factor.  The most effective method is to immunize them regarding the fantasy aspect of their “attraction.”  To immunize them they need to be introduced to reality, immersed in it.  Immersion means to provide an opportunity to have an actual interface with an amputee.  Most dreadful devotees have never actually met an amputee, and so their fantasies prevail. The activity of the Fascination Weekend (see elsewhere) was to facilitate the socialization of the devotees that attended.  It worked to some extent.  There were NO instances of obnoxious behavior reported by the women who attended.  Of course the group was self selecting, and it was self policed by the organizers and other attendees. Troublemakers were quickly excluded or expelled, or neutralized.

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Commentary

Who, What, When, Where, and Why?

So much has been discussed about why some men (and women also) have been conditioned to experience an attraction towards disabled individuals. After considerable deliberation of information which had been gathered through many personal conversations and communications on the subject, the deepest root cause of the attraction has been identified as FEAR! Fear such as one might feel the fright of falling if one found oneself looking down over the roof edge of a tall building. A subconscious fear that such a disability might happen to oneself. Women particularly react emotionally and negatively to such encounters. The sight of someone (e.g., a woman) to whom a disability has happened sets off the emotional response: “It has really happened to her!! That could happen to me!” The primal response to that threat is avoidance. The contrary response is attraction. Men quite often experience the contrary response through following some macho sense of “confronting the danger.”

That contrary response of attraction then requires that the observer attempt to engage with the source of the emotion. For an example, skydiving is a form of experiencing the fear (i.e., excitement) of falling by initially experiencing the sense of zero gravity until the parachute opens. Skydiving without a parachute is even more exciting. That excitement generates a lot of adrenalin, and it is the feeling of that adrenalin rush which is being sought. That emotion appears to also be the reaction of some men who are attracted to amputee women. Such an explanation has been provided during conversations with devotees at their group meetings. Just being in the same room with a woman amputee creates a similar excitement. This effect has been identified as only one of many such avenues for such an attraction. From that effect follows the devotee’s need for vicariously experiencing the disability through association.

But that reaction is not understood or accepted by the general populace. One mother whose young daughter had lost a leg to cancer and who thereby became an amputee exclaimed: “What sort of man would want my daughter now?” “What sort of man?” The mother was expressing her own personal prejudices against considering someone with a disability as attractive, and she would no doubt condition her daughter to also question the purpose of any man who would find her attractive.

Being an amputee is a full time job. Especially so when the lack of a limb becomes a life limiting factor. However there are compensating features. In this modern world, with the Paralympic Games being televised worldwide, being an amputee is no longer seen as limiting. A lot of very attractive amputee women have been presented as able role models. And the lack of a limb or two is no longer seen as a debilitating factor. Women amputees are now being presented as glamorous athletes, fashion models, and ballroom dancers. As a result the extent of the attraction has been expanded to permit other forms of such attention. And many beautiful amputee women now present themselves as sensuous models on websites such as Tumblr or Youtube, or Facebook.

Beauty is nothing more than a sexual presentation. A person who has been identified as beautiful is being judged solely as a sexual object. And being a sexual object constitutes being found attractive by fiat. By the converse, anyone who elicits a sexual attraction will be considered beautiful by default. From hence comes the saying “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” So what is all the fuss about being considered a sexual object? It happens to both men and women all the time! Is it just a feminine cop-out about not wanting to be considered a sexual person? Is sexuality to be denied? The beauty industry knows otherwise!

Women are constantly engaged in some form of sexual display. Either they are doing so to impress a man, or they are trying to compete with other women. Clothing “fashions” are nothing more than an attempt by women to establish one-upmanship. The cosmetics industry seeks to exploit that competition. Why does a “plain Jane” woman look so much more attractive when she employs a bit of cosmetics to highlight her features? That effect is because that presentation is seen as her signal to the world that she is interested in playing the game. That signal is not lost on the men who have been culturally conditioned to respond. Some individuals have been conditioned to respond differently, the devotee.

Please check out the corresponding blog on www.halcyon-books.tumblr.com, and the www.halcyonbooks.com website. Also read the article “DeMystifying the Devotee” on Amazon Kindle.

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In the absence of reality, fantasy fills the void.

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Some men viewing this picture would respond, ”God! How can I find a woman like that!”

Some women viewing the picture would respond, “God! How could I find a man like that!”

To each his own.                              Image courtesy of Mamo

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Imagination! - Imagine how it might be to have only one leg (or arm), to need to depend on crutches for mobility. That is how the curious interest initially develops in the very young child. The concept of a missing limb needs to be introduced early in the child's life. Curiosity expands through that imagination until it evolves into a sexually related interest during puberty. If the curiosity is not satisfied by actual experience with real amputees that interest can develop into an obsession. But imagination and curiosity require some degree of intelligence. Most devotees exhibit a great deal of imagination and intelligence. They also demonstrate an obsession with the subject and with those who represent the situation. They may also subconsciously harbor a fear factor that the situation may happen to them, and that fear causes hidden anxiety.

Within the academic study of “the psychology of attraction” this phenomenon is called “the misattribution of arousal.” This definition represents that a person who experiences a feeling of arousal due to anxiety may mistakenly identify the arousal as having been sexually induced. Engaging in dangerous activities or viewing especially exciting pictures can induce that form of arousal. Such misattribution is also refered to as paraphilia. There are many forms of paraphilia. The attraction to amputees is only one. Associating with amputees could serve to elicit that anxiety. The emotional response is purely subconscious.