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[haddycss]

🐚

[haddycss]

jane de leon 💖 

[haddycss]

dark eyes gleamed upon teddy's reaction, eliciting another groan only further teased her limits. once so used to flirt and sleep alongside strangers on campus, hadley yearned for something deeper, perhaps everlasting.

" well, you got lucky, because i'm all yours " those blissful instants felt as a breath of fresh air amidst their chaotic lives. perhaps they could for once be theo and hadley, nor only members of a struggling band, staying lat nights writing songs. go out on dates, share nights together, an apartment, she let herself wander only for him.

" just so you know, i'm being really tame " nuzzling into teddy's neck for a few seconds, haddy felt an impulse to further his experience. " we can't have sex yet, doesn't mean we can't have some fun " lips met his ear, whispering each word before she could graze his ear lobe. " i'll be the girl in green then... " making a mental not to visit local shops later that week, she let her hands travel to his waits, slightly wandering up teddy's shirt.

" shh, you're not bad, just new " reaching for his hands, hadley moves them so she can see those beautiful pools of blue. " besides i'm a good teacher " hads quips. " tell you what, let's play a game... tell me what you wanna do with me, and i'll tell you what i wanna do with you " if they shared feelings for months, neither would have problems thinking of it. " like, all i can think right now is how i'd love to push you into the bed, rip that pretty little shirt off and wander my lips through every inch of your skin..."

🧸 — honestly, theodore feels like he is going to explode. or maybe float away on a cloud. there is no in between. another groan leaves him when she bites at his neck; he didn't know that would actually feel good !! i have... so much to learn.

" yeah yeah, i'm sure there are. but i don't... i don't want to sleep with every girl. only the one that matters. " he is smiling, his eyes slowly going wide as she continues to talk. every word that spills from her mouth is making him too excited for his own good, and when haddy kisses down his neck and rests her face in the crook of it, she says something that makes him feel like he is going to die on the spot.

" oh my god, hads. " he breathes that out, unsure of what to say. he doesn't have any experience with 'dirty talk', the boy worried he was going to say something stupid. and he kind of does, he says something that has an air of lightness to it that he actually laughs after he finishes speaking.

" please wear my favourite colour. you look stunning in green. " he covers his eye with one of his hands.

" i am so bad at this. "

[haddycss]

his soft chuckle slowly filled the air between the two, a reminder of one's tenderness, something hadley couldn't quite feel worthy of it. you're gonna mess this up. thoughts flooded in, suffocating those instants of bliss under fear. " c'mon, you're hot and plays the guitar in a band, sure there's at least a dozen people willing to sleep with you. "

shameless, haddy bit his neck slightly, leaving a mark so they'd remember that in the morning. " well, now you can sleep with one of the hottest girls on campus, just say the word and i'll be there " teasingly, soft fingers reached for theo's cheeks, dark eyes dazed as she leaned gently into his lips.

a haze of feelings left hadley dizzy, cheeks flushing red upon confession. " then we have to arrange that… " swollen lips wandered against his skin, leaving a trail of kisses till teddy's neck -- resting her face in the crook of it. " it's gonna be hard waiting, but i think we can manage. gives me some time to buy a pretty little dress for you to rip me out of… maybe some lingerie to match. "

🧸 — there's a chuckle that comes from teddy when she says she wishes she could toss the guitar away from him - just to kiss him as they were now. he lets his hands fall from her cheeks down to hadley's hips. he holds her steady, humming lightly as she kisses him along his neck. the words that fall from her mouth about him 'sleeping with some hot girl' makes this incredulous laugh escape him.

" oh yes, i must have forgotten that i was sleeping with the hottest girl on campus, how silly of me. " his head is tilted back as he giggles like a child. hadley seemingly takes that moment to touch his cheek, getting theodore to look back at her. when she stutters out her question, teddy's eyebrows quirk and he lifts his hands back to her face. he kisses her delicately, the gesture much different from the previous passionate kisses they were just sharing.

he pulls away, slow and deliberate, his blue eyes getting lost in her dark pools. " there's no one else i would want it to be with. "

[haddycss]

" shit " dark eyes stared the stain against a perfect cut of cashmere -- similar to many hadley had all those yeas ago. running away from her own family and home led to many sleepless nights at the car, or relying on vouchers for meals, yet haddy wouldn't dare to have it any other way. no amount of cashmere in the world could buy her freedom. " the nachos did a number on you " a soft chuckle feel through. " try some vinegar and bicarbonate, might help with the stain later " and old trick she'd learned from a friend. " nice sweater, looks good on you "

"Ugh." That was all Francesca could say as she swiped a wet napkin across her sleeve, grimacing at the yellow that was still apparent on the corner, a putrid blemish she wasn't sure would come out in the wash. She had mostly come here for the food. Mostly. She wouldn't admit that she was hoping to run into some friends from her undergrad that she'd lost touch with, but that played a part as well. What she didn't expect was that the food would come for her. In the form of a freshman accidentally running into her with a plate full of nachos. It took everything in her not to get irate with them, but whatever. She gave a soft smile to the person next to her. "Learn from my mistakes, and do not trust the freshmen with the nacho cheese," she sighed, rolling up the sleeve of her cashmere so it was less noticeable.

[haddycss]

" she real cute though, maybe even cuter than you " haddy quipped in a blunt lie, dakota was not only the prettiest person she knew but the very best one. sharing a room quickly became a matter of sharing secrets and feelings for each other, something they'd take for life. " shut up, he's not my teddy bear " cheeks flushed in red, barely capable of hiding her feelings. " you know is complicated... " hadley bit her own lip. " like, i'm messing with rowan, and i know it isn't serious, and it shouldn't mean a thing, but i can't stay away from him " if anyone in this planet would hear haddy, that was dakota. " and then i have this feelings for teddy. ugh, i'm a mess. "

“hell no she’s not your new best friend, no one can ever take my spot.” dakota quipped. hadley was pretty much one of the only people she was close to at radcliffe and she cherished their friendship more than she could say. although they had originally started off on the wrong foot the pair had grown quite close over time. dakota could almost, sort of, fully let her guard down with her. “psh, more like you need the room for your little teddy bear.” she teased.

[haddycss]

a dollar bill wiped out of haddy's pocket barely hid her intention from the girl. too many cans of beer into the night and one thing was certain, she felt bored and in desperate need to do something stupid. a kissing booth was nothing more than that, a mistake -- one of many. " shit, i thought it was you... " speech slurred. " i mean, you look real cute, it's a shame " hadley had no shame. " anyway, if there isn't anyone i can kiss, can you give me one more raffle ticket? "

open starter - kick off party.

“i wasn't actually planning to participate in the whole kissing booth thing." she started, gesturing to her name badge that clearly said cashier. maia was trying her best to follow her mom's advice to pad her grad school applications with more volunteer hours but she was already starting to regret it. "i'm just here to collect donations and hand out raffle tickets." she added, blush slowly creeping on her cheeks. "besides i don't really do the whole kissing strangers thing, even for charity."

[haddycss]

" when have you ever done something out of pity? i highly doubt you're capable of feeling it, besides i don't want any favors, not from you, rowan " voice strained for once, tainted in a peculiar vulnerability, one she'd often hide from the boy's grasp. through the thick of it, part of hadley felt he would've been there for her, yearning for it, a mere resemblance of his company, even. no, she had no right, nor interest in it. " how is that, then? we fuck, rowan, it doesn't mean there are feelings involved... besides you're usually the one begging for more " a lie, nevertheless, one haddy would die professing as if it could erase the heat that quickly entangled her own body. " fuck you " a mere whisper led the brunette to close any remaining space between the two of them. senses lost under rowan's intoxicating presence and perfume. " don't pretend to be so above it, you're here too... " and before hadley could finish the sentence her lips were pressed against his -- yearning for something she could only find in within his arms.

❝ i mean , i could give you the meal vouchers out of pity , but that would ruin the whole grungy and reckless vibe epiphany's lead singer seem to go for , wouldn't it? ❞ there is a hint of distaste that lingers where the words had left him , a sudden reminder of how rowan hadn't been able to help haddy when she left her family — the family close to his. but the inner voice , as expected , counters. him and haddy have nothing else in common other than pure vexation for one another , he shouldn't feel guilty. ❝ for the many years i've known you , i've learned that your words are often empty. you may say that now , but we both know how we end up after every fight. ❞ he should hate where this was going , but it is so intoxicating that he couldn't help but feel assured by what he's stated. ❝ —or sometimes , mid - fight. ❞ his eyes looked down at her , feeling that familiar rise of his heartbeat. ❝ i wouldn't find you here if you didn't give a damn , haddy. but i'm a growing boy , and if you're suggesting that you be my dinner then , be my guest. ❞

[haddycss]

hadley dreamed of one day to elicit such blissful sound from teddy, yet to feel it under the moonlight felt it so special she sought to capture that instant in her memories. maybe out there existed a universe where they hadn't hidden those feelings for so long.

" for a lot of months... you have no idea how bad i wanted to just toss the guitar to the side and kiss you " those late nights together, the cuddling that often felt as some sort of torture being friends would always suffice, and perhaps teddy would prefer such, yet the thought of more set haddy on fire.

" why would i laugh? " pressing soft lips against his neck, she left a trail of kisses there. " i always thought you're secretly sleeping with some hot girl... " hadley blurt out, probably because she new the way most people at campus looked at teddy -- they felt attracted to him, as she did.

fingers reached for his cheek, knuckles running through it in a caress. " it's okay, gives us a reason to make it special " haddy would make it her mission, matter fact. " d-do you want it to be with me? "

🧸 — when hadley tugs on teddy's hair as well, he let's out a low groan, something he didn't know he was capable of doing. the sensation was completely new to him, and he really liked it. he looks at her, admiring her, really - then she asks if he knew how long she wanted to do that.

" y-you've... you've been wanting to do this for a while ?? " he's surprised, feeling his heart come into his throat. does she actually feel the same way as me ?? she then says something that almost removes all doubts he had, something that makes a twinge of excitement ( along with nervousness ) hit the pits of his stomach.

" i've uh... don't laugh, okay ?? " he says, he's embarrassed to admit it to her, but he has to. he owes that much to haddy.

" i've never.. i've never actually... " theo raises his brows, too nervous to say it out loud, regardless of their predicament. he hopes she understands what he means.

[haddycss]

bearing the beers and gentle smile, hadley shimmied away to the song, for once caught in a rhythm that wasn't mere techno songs for frat boys. " your girl is a bit tipsie, i must warn 'ya " far from her first drink, haddy felt an impulse to enjoy every second of the party, preferably away from the swimming team's pleas to stay on their booth. " i like that, very secretive and vintage " the brunette nods to daphne's secret flask -- she had to get one of those. " fuck it, let's dance! " grabbing onto her friend's soft fingers, hadley got twirled away, shaking her hips along the music. " found anyone interesting? maybe i can be your wing woman? "

for the most part of the event , daphne had been trying to get her spirit into dancing despite the terrible music , but as the music shifts into something passable , she shows a drunken beam at the sight of hadley making her way towards her. ❝ look who finally joined in! the drinks area seem too far from here , but i am always prepared for mishaps. ❞ she takes the cup hadley handed to her and with a wink , mischief presents a hidden flask of liquor inside her coat jacket. ❝ well , nothing's more embarrassing than just standing at the sides with our drinks. besides , there's no such thing as bad publicity. ❞ and with that , she takes hadley's hand to twirl her to the dance floor.

[haddycss]

realization struck hadley the second jaz approached her in that stupid game circle. a post on instagram a couple of days ago about epiphany seemed to be the culprit of their particular spat. haddy was known for protecting the people and things she loved -- there weren't many of those but the band felt primordial to it all. such a harsh and unwanted criticism and coming from jaz could only end in a fight. " you're about to lose that little nose job or yours if you don't shut it " dark eyes burned in anger. " ephiphany means nothing to you. "

Jaz loved playing with fire and the chances of getting burned by it never stopped her from dabbling in the first place. The dance student had to have known that she was hanging by a thread with the other. Especially after the little comment she made on Haddy’s post about her band. “The name of the game is Two Truths and a Lie.” an impish smirk tugged from the corner of her lips; her offer to go first was implied since it had only been the two of them playing for now. “I’ve never lost a competition, I hate the color pink, and epiphany is my favorite band.” @haddycss

[haddycss]

a can of beer hung ever so slightly from hadley's fingers, grabbed earlier in one of the booths, the brunette held no intention to remain sober for long -- a friend's company would only help. " you really wanna grab one of those free shirts? " haddy dragged after kelsey, doe eyes pleader for her to give up. " we both know you're too pretty for that thing, kels "

open starter ; for annual start of term kickoff !!

twelve-noon. on the dot. that's when the music started. but you could smell the fresh churros miles away, and somehow, kelsey knew, by the end of the day it would slowly warp into the smell of beer. so, excited for what's in store, with a great exhale, she proclaimed,

" okay. time to grab the free swag! "

[haddycss]

convincing one of her rival at the swimming team to trying on face painting felt quite ridiculous, yet hadley had managed somehow. all too confident, the red head wasn't an art major, watching such a masterpiece unravel before their eyes couldn't have been better. " no, rose, this is stunning, better than picasso, really... " pulling up the mirror amidst a mischievous grin, haddy watched their reaction an amusement. " fuck this is priceless " barely holding a laughter, the brunette watched her teammate try to scrub off the dick of their face, running away before anyone else could see it. " they should hire you for more parties. "

face is quick to fall when she realizes that her latest face painting masterpiece was ANYTHING but. instead while trying to paint a unicorn, it somehow came out looking like a flamboyant dick instead. " erm . . . maybe i should just stick to photography. " she offered them a grimace, taking the mirror from their hands, " you really don't want to look. "

[haddycss]

❝ starter call && hadley

give me a little emoji and i'll make a starter based on it (you may also leave a place or activity on the party if you prefer) !!

[haddycss]

Mahmoud Darwish, tr. by Catherine Cobham, from “Perfection is the same as imperfection”, A River Dies of Thirst

[haddycss]

an all consuming feeling wrecked any remaining strength to hide her feelings from teddy. months wondering if it he'd reciprocate it slowly intertwined in those instants of pure bliss. being in his arms, under his fingers and soft lips... his taste. it would remain engraved in haddy's memories for days, haunting her every dream and breath.

lips graze once again, this time caught amidst the slight pull of hadley's hair, enough for her to let out a groan. she could barely hold herself together when they'd found a pace to the kiss, deeper than before as her tongue grazed his.

though a couple of beers seemed to gift haddy the liquid courage, she felt all too sober as they pulled themselves together. heart pounding as heat entangled the pit of her stomach, forcing those soft fingers to reach for teddy's short hair -- pulling gently at it.

so fucking pretty. hadley heart that before yet it when those words came out of theo's mouth they seemed to garner an entire new meaning. cheeks flushing red as her lips. " fuck, you know how long i wanted to do this? " an out of breath chuckle barely comes out. " i know all the things i wanna do with you... if only we get away from this party " part of hadley wished to wait, make it special, other longed for far more than a kiss.

🧸 — he feels like his entire body has been set aflame when she tells him that he's everything. he's never heard someone say that to him - and the fact that it was coming from hadley was very much wrecking him right now. when her hands come around his neck, he lets out a chuckle when she has to go on her toes to reach him ( something he's always found adorable about her ).

then they're kissing again, theodore letting his calloused fingers run through her hair before getting tangled. he feels her chest press against him, and he lets out a groan involuntarily before feeling her tongue graze his own. he didn't know it could feel like this. this good.

haddy tells him to never stop - something about those words make heat pool in the pits of his stomach and in the apples of his cheeks. he feels giddy in this moment, but at the same time he's wondering if it's the booze talking and she will regret this whole thing. he doesn't want that. it would break his heart if she was just doing this on a drunken whim.

he pulls away from her, one of his hands still lost in haddy's hair, the other on her hip, slowly drawing circles against the fabric of her dress.

" you are so fucking pretty, you know that, right ?? " he raises the hand on her hip to her mouth, letting his thumb brush against her plump lips. " god damn it hadley. you don't know what you've done to me. "

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a fool at heart, she feels cheeks flushing as dark eyes gleam set on his, an entire year of anticipation unrevealing under the moonlight. " you're so... you're everything, teddy " the morning that would follow loomed as a terrifying prospect, one she wouldn't let ruin them. is that what they were now? something.

hands slowly slipped to his neck, clasping both arms around it as hadley put herself on the tip of her dock martins -- making up for their height difference in a desperate attempt to feel his body pressed against hers. reddish lips pressed against each other, entangled within the aroma of booze and theo's perfume, the one responsible for haunting haddy's dreams.

pulling away feels painful yet inebriating, dark eyes dazed in every ounce of this feeling, of him. she yearned to belong entirely to teddy. a desperate feeling, one haddy hadn't known her entire life.

" don't stop, don't you ever stop " for the first time she commanded him, pressing their bodies and lips once again. this time entirely lost to theo, slowly making way for her tongue as she could only think of deepening their kiss.

🧸 — he notices the look on her face change when he is honest with her; and for a second, he thinks he has a chance. and even at the sorry attempt at being smooth, theodore just laughs at her.

" you're so cute, hads. " he admits, genuinely smiling at her. that smile goes in an instant, when she calls him 'theo' instead of the usual nickname that would come out of her mouth. he's worried he's done something, something to upset her - and he tries to apologise but he soon feels her soft digits cup his jaw. he freezes, was this a joke ??

but it wasn't - hadley actually moving up to press her mouth to his own. he almost jolts away, almost - but when she pleads to him, to kiss her, kiss her like he wants it, he completely falls apart. his knees feel weak, and he lifts a hand to brush his knuckles over her cheek, the gesture so gentle before he presses his mouth flush against hers. she tastes so good - he can taste a bit of the alcohol off her lips along with something else he can't place. he's holding her gently, but soon he finds a rhythm that makes passion rise in his system.

after a few seconds, he pulls away to admire her, the way her lips are swollen from his kiss, the dazed look in her eyes. he keeps his hand on the crook of her neck, keeping her from looking away from him.

" d-do.. do you want this, hadley ?? i don't... i don't know if i'll be able to stop. "