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2023-12-03
Camellia🌺
Canon EOS R10 + RF28mm f2.8 STM
Instagram | hwantastic79vivid
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“Headstrong!…because that’s how you have to be. If you mentally believe it will happen your body is going to find a way to make it physically happen.” -Greg Plitt, Video
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#thanks i guess#but im slipping up all the time that it's not okay anymore#aahhhh#can't get too depressed#should strengthen up and work hard
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today
Oma called to borrow money from dad this morning, she sounded tired on the phone, i hope this won't affect her health..
dad tries not to express anything much besides the usual, like me, he prefers staying quiet at times of stress, difference is he has a reputation as a father to uphold and doesn't weep to sleep like how i usually do
sister escapes yet again to tv and games and her school grades are a mess. she's growing lazier day by day, i hope she doesn't grow up to be a depressing shit like me
i was given plenty of time and resources today, i wasted them all. i failed everyone's expectations yet again, especially my own. how disappointing..
it's her birthday tomorrow, i want to apologize and give her a greeting, i want to tell her i'm alright and i want to catch up with her about lots of stuff. but i'm still running away, i can't, i;m sorry, i'm still too afraid and heartbroken.. i'll always wish you all the best, but forgive me for still being so egocentric, i won't contact you yet
it gets easier and easier over time but that's because the past just gets more and more diluted.. and it might just be me having all these one-sided feelings, i don't even know if she even wants to hear anything from/about me anymore (i'm sure they dont though, too much baggage. even the ppl i'm with right now can clearly see that)
aahhi feel like crying now....
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Write down things you want to improve. Write down things you won’t tolerate from yourself. Write down things you never want to see yourself do again… and go forth.
Joe Rogan #ONNIT
Fitness Motivation / Fitness Blog - Follow for more!
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