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“Wait, my daughter, until you learn how the matter turns out”- Ruth 3:18

There’s so much that I want to say. There’s so much I want to give. But right now, Lord... I’m lost. I know you have delivered me. I know you are faithful even when I’m faithless. But right now, right now I feel like I’m in the desert wandering, waiting, trying to understand...

^^^^^^

Have you ever been there? Have you ever been in a season of life where you feel like you are wandering in a desert, wondering the Lord is doing? I have. We all have. 

This summer has been that journey for me but I’m learning so much through it. There’s a lot about myself that is maturing in this process of going through the desert. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs this year, but mostly ups. During those downs though, I let them defeat me sometimes, and I wonder if I’ll ever have victory. It really is a desert in those moments. 

We all have those seasons, which is why I’ve chosen to do a series about the desert. Each post will be a tale of something I’ve been through or something I know others want to be discussed, and in those tales, I pray that the Lord uses my words and Scripture to encourage you. My prayer is that during this series, you will learn that you aren’t alone and the desert season isn’t forever. But in the season, tales are written. We learn through these tales as God writes them, and we eventually look back knowing He was faithful even when we were faithless. 

Come along with me for the ride. I’m excited to share these tales with you. 

-Ƙᗩᖆᗩ

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Flowers in the summer // June 2017

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Coffee Shop // 

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Iowa press conference with the first female governor Kim Reynolds and Lt. Gov. Adam Gregg // 

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There’s always a story no matter where you look. People, places, and things have a history and it becomes a part of what can inspire us or even change our world. It’s a drink but there are so many ways coffee change a person. It offers community, conversation, and new friends. I’ve always known this, but on this day in particular, it struck me.

While I was hoping to do my video project on rescue dogs, the story didn’t work out. So, in the crazy turn of events, my partner and I decided to do our story on The Fruited Plain, a local coffee shop here in Sioux Center, Iowa. Even though my heart was set on petting dogs, looking back on the day, I’m thankful for our story.  We captured the essence of what an impact a local coffee shop with good coffee can make on a small town like Sioux Center. The owner had told us about how he had seen community come in and out of his shop, and how one cup of coffee or a smile can change the course of someone’s day.

What a true statement that is. I must say, throughout the entire day, I learned that no matter how small the town, there is still room for impact. A coffee connoisseur had a vision and he went for it. While the startup may have been a hard process, in the end, it turned into something great. Being able to spark a conversation and learn about someone else's story was an experience I’ll never forget. It showed me that journalism can make a difference not only in the reader’s lives but in the journalists life as well.

Capturing a story on video is powerful. I believe that the one we captured today was one that will stick with me as I continue down the path of journalism. We bonded with the owner as he spoke about his love for coffee and community, and then afterward, my partner and I stayed for over an hour getting to know each other over a latte. It may seem silly and predictable coming from me, but it’s true that coffee brings people together. But it wasn’t just the coffee; it was the stories that were shared between a coffee connoisseur and two new friends getting to know each other.

We didn’t get to pet dogs or hang out with them, but instead, we got to do something that captured the heart and inspiration in small town Iowa. The Fruited Café isn’t just about the coffee or the homey atmosphere. It’s about bringing people together, building community, and if you stay long enough, you’ll learn a story or two. 

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Tulip Festival // Sioux City, IA 

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Heart is racing but the coffee is in my hand, so all is well. Those were my exact feelings when I walked off the plan in the Sioux City airport, which is the size of Spokane’s. The adventures of the unknown can be terrifying. It was for me. And then, I approached the place I would be staying at for two weeks. It wasn’t bad. In fact, it was great. Not because of the place necessarily but because of the people in it.

The first couple of days here weren’t entirely stretching. We were writing, and that’s what I do. I’m a writer, so the first two days were a breeze. Then, after the easy part, the Lord decided that it was time to stretch me. Wednesday and Thursday were without a doubt the hardest days I’ve had in journalism. I wasn’t writing, unfortunately. Instead, I was doing radio work. Now, I know you might think it’s easy but it’s not. It’s tedious, hard, and let’s not get started about the recording process of it all. Your voice has to be clear, clean cut and you can’t stumble on your words. Well, to be frank, none of those things ever really happen for me.

Wednesday, I just learned about radio. It wasn’t really a big deal. Maybe it was just a challenging day because I knew what was coming next. I had to write a one-minute news story and then edit it, all on Thursday. My hands were clammy, and my heart was pounding. Not to mention, my voice wasn’t clean cut. Needless to say, I was challenged and it has been proven to be the most difficult thing I’ve had to do here. It’s too bad I won’t be the next Ryan Seacrest…or is it? Trust me. I think I’m doing you all a favor by not choosing radio journalism as my profession. But, I got through it, right? It’s only because of the grace of God.

And now, here we are. It’s a rainy Friday night, and I can now say, I haven’t fallen in love with radio but I have with photography. I can also say that the Lord has been with me through every step, even that hard ones. He’s never once left my side. There is so much yet to learn here and there is so much God is teaching and showing me. I love writing, no doubt. But perhaps, I could see myself be equally in love with photography. Anything is possible.

Throughout this entire week, the Lord has been teaching me to be steadfast because in Him, I lack nothing. What a true statement that is. I can’t be perfect at every aspect in journalism but I’m discovering what I am good at and the Lord has been walking with me, showing and teaching me. Learning to be steadfast daily is hard challenge but it’s good. We should always make that our goal because when we let steadfastness have its full effect, we will be perfect and made complete lacking in nothing (James 1: 4). God is good and I’m so thankful he’s called me to a random state like Iowa because I’ll always remember those little reminders of steadfastness. Those are precious moments.

Thanks for praying. I appreciate you.

Always,

Kara

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Can I be honest with you? These past few weeks have been a whirlwind of stress, anxiety, and excitement. Stress, because I get overwhelmed by everything I had to do in a day. Anxiety, because I worry that I might mess up or not be good enough when I head out to Iowa. Excitement, because going out to Iowa to learn more about Journalism is a thrilling idea.

Nerves get the best of me at times, and right now is one of those times. I love doing scary things for the thrill and the pure joy of knowing that I conquered it. But that’s not to say that during those scary things, my heart races and I sometimes wonder if I’ll even be able to speak. But what I’ve been learning a lot this year is why I shouldn’t be filled with anxiety or nerves because I belong to Christ.

And the truth is, I can’t imagine a life without breathless moments or the heartbeat feeling before doing something terrifying. I find life to be most exciting during those times, and I must thank God for it. But even though I find those times most exciting, I often tend to avoid them as well. If I’m being honest, I don’t think any of us really enjoy the nervous knot in our stomach that could make you feel sick. It’s thrilling but it’s also terrifying.

We all face those moments that will leave our lungs filled with anxiety. It’s simply inevitable to avoid them. But guess what? We don’t have to feel anxious for anything. Why? Because we have a hope in Jesus; our Savior who conquered death. If Jesus can conquer death, what can’t He do? With Him, nothing is impossible, and with Him, our anxiety is small because with Him, we can do the impossible.

That’s been a continuous theme in my life.

The impossible is possible with God.

He reminds me of this, sometimes in the middle of the night as I look in my Bible and turn straight to Philippians 4:4-7 which says, 

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ”.

Wow. In those moments of anxiety, I have to cry out to God and hand out over my anxious fears. We all do. It’s when we surrender those fears to the Lord where we find peace. When we trust God to do the impossible for us, the impossible is accomplished.

The awesome thing that I’ve learned in life is that when we surrender our anxiety to the Lord, we’re most focused on today, and finding joy in today.

“Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” – Matthew 6:34 (ESV)

If you’re feeling anxious today, so am I. I’m about to embark on a two-week adventure in Iowa doing certain things that I have never done before. So, if you think I don’t understand anxiety, believe me, I do. The feeling is real and it’s hard to surrender at moments. But you can because there is peace in Jesus Christ.

You will find peace when you cast your anxiety on Him (1 Pet. 5:7).

He is our help in times like these. He will carry us through (Ps. 40:17).

Pray for me as I head off to Iowa to learn more about my career path. I’m excited but I’m also anxious. Things such as this can be scary. As you pray for me, I’ll pray for you with whatever it is your anxious about today. Prayer is powerful, and we both need it. Cast your anxiety on Him, you will find peace.

“Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress. I will not be shaken” – Psalm 62:6

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I’ve been trying for a couple weeks now to write up this post, wondering what i was going to say or what stories I was going to tell. To be honest, there’s a lot of stories I could tell you about shifting my focus and what it looks like to get there. It seems as if that’s a theme in my life is consistently having to shift focus and reminding myself that God’s got my life and future in his hands.

The underlying theme of my life has always been not knowing. In every endeavor I pursue or decision I make, I’m always in the unknown until the last second. It’s how God is most glorified and he’s showed up in so many cool ways by doing this. So no, not by any means am I complaining about this. I love that God decides to show up the way He does in my life.

When it comes to be that time for Him to show up, I’m thankful and my perspective is certainly more centered around Him than it was in the waiting period. But honestly, I hate that. Why can’t my focus be that way all the time instead of just some of the time?

In the waiting periods of my life, my focus seems to shift back and forth. It shifts all over the place. I suppose that’s normal for every human being because we are human and there’s a constant spiritual battle happening all around us. It happens to all of us but I can’t help but think that maybe it happens because we often let it happen. How often do we stop and shift our focus back to where it should be rather than letting it settle on the uncertainties and unknowns in our life? I know I do that more often than I should. it's hard not to. Just because we belong to Christ doesn’t mean we stopped living in a fallen world. We still do and that’s what makes us shifting focus so difficult. That and our sinful nature.

We’re surround by social media and photos and the highlight reels of our peers. We end up playing the comparison game more often than not, don’t we? Social media can be a great thing but I’ve often found in my own life that hurts my focus more than helps it. It’s also such a horrible distraction at times, amiright?

 I’ll have you know that most of the time when I write controversial articles or articles that I know will spark a conversation, I tend to not read all the comments. People can be mean sometimes. But recently, I wrote up an article that I knew would spark a conversation and I had decided to comment. Why? Because I felt as if my words were being taken out of context, so I just wanted to explain in a mature manner what I meant. I’ll admit that I shouldn’t have but after that, I got way too involved. Not in commenting but in reading the comments. Whether or not they were directed at me, I felt hurt and discouraged. I felt as if I was letting these comments and what people were saying at me was actually ruining my day.

Why did I let that happen? I know that i have a platform to share my voice and I’m so thankful for that platform but often times when you do have a big enough platform to share your ideas and your voice with others, there tends to be those who don’t agree or just don’t like you. Often times, those in that kind of situation have to stand their guard and block out comments or simply not read them. It destroys any hope of where the focus was beforehand and where it should be. I struggled a lot with that when those comments were being shot at me. My focus was on Christ. My focus was on them and those comments.

How often do you let something disparage you or discourage you and it ruins your entire day?

How often do you practice shifting your focus back to Christ, the only one who truly satisfies?

I don’t think it’s an often occurrence for a lot of us. We are so focused on what’s in front of us and people’s opinions of us that we often forget whose we are. We often forget where we need to shift our focus.

i’m not judging. I know it’s tough. I do it too. We all do.

How do we shift our focus? How do point back to Christ and remember that it doesn’t matter what they say or what’s discouraged you today. What matters is who’s got you. What matters is who you belong to.

Our hope is not in comments.

Our hope is not in the mundane things of our daily lives.

Our hope is not in the what could’ve been or what should’ve been.

Our hope isn’t in humans because every human falls short.

OUR HOPE IS IN CHRIST.

Our focus that continues to shift back and forth day in and day out should ultimately point back to Christ.

That's what I’m being reminded of lately. That’s what I’m trying to work on.

Perspective and shifting your focus determines your mood. It determines your day. It determines your attitude.

When you focus on Christ, we have joy. We love others better. It allows us to show the love of Christ better. It changes everything.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind… “ - Romans 12:2

Let’s change our mindset and not focus on the outside world. We are sinners and we will always fail to focus more on what others our saying rather than what Jesus says, but as believers, let’s not stay there. Let’s shift our focus and remember the God that we serve.

We are set free in Him. (Galatians 5:1)

No one can snatch us from His hands (John 10:28)

We are a new creation in Christ Jesus. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

We are HIS. (Psalm 100:3)

i don’t know what season you are in right now. Perhaps you and I are both in the same season of waiting or trying not to let comments get to you or maybe you’re in a season of doubt or of mourning. Whatever season you’re in, just know you are not alone. Don’t let your thoughts of the world and everything else defeat you today.

Rest in Him.

Read His word.

Draw near to Him.

Shift your focus today and remember whose you are!!  

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Sometimes I don’t know how to admit that I’m broken.

Sometimes I don’t know how to handle things.

Sometimes I wish the answers that were ‘no’ were a ‘yes’

That’s where my heart is at, honestly. It’s not easy being vulnerable and it most certainly isn't easy hearing an answer that you didn't want to hear. But when you do, it’s something that you have to tackle and figure out what you’re going to do with that ‘no’ that you wish so badly were a ‘yes’.

Story time:

A few weeks ago, I got presented an opportunity that I immediately said yes to. How could I not? The opportunity meant experience, interviews, concerts and everything in between. This opportunity had been a dream of mine for quite awhile. I couldn’t say “no”. The only thing standing in my way was getting there and I had thought I knew exactly how that was going to happen. It was going to be great. Everything was planned and ready until the Lord intervened and told me He had something else in mind.

Shoot. Really?

What am I going to do?

Everything was planned, God?

Why on earth are you saying “no” to this?

Those questioned raced through my brain in constant rotation. I was lost and confused. In fact, I had even lost sleep over it. I had no idea what I was even going to tell people that this opportunity most likely wasn’t happening for me.

I’m going to look bad.

This isn’t going to be good for my career.

This is a dream. Why?

I prayed and I prayed. I asked God to make it clear that the answer really was “no”. As much as I didn’t want to believe it, the answer was indeed a “no”. My heart in those moments wasn’t okay. I’ll be honest, in a way, I thought that it defined me and my career.

I know it doesn’t. But I thought it did. I was letting the enemy defeat me, and he did. I wasn’t okay.

I worried.

I cried.

I questioned.

As this opportunity came closer, I had seen God work in the midst of it all. People weren’t mad at me. I still got interviews and live streams. Even though I was from afar, I still got to be a part of it. As much as I wanted to be there, and how badly I wanted to see certain people and certain shows, I knew that in the moments of God putting all this together that it was for my good.

Also, He was patiently reminding me that this doesn’t define me. My career doesn’t define me and opportunities don’t define me. In a way, I was learning that no matter what people thought about me not being able to go, that didn’t matter because it ultimately doesn't define who I am or where I am going. It doesn’t automatically halt God’s plans for me because I couldn’t attend an event.

I will never forget something that Keith Urban said during American Idol one time. It was an episode where the judges where choosing the top 12 to go into the live rounds. I can’t remember who it was they were saying ‘no’ to but they had let a contestant go. Of course the contestants heart was crushed but then Keith intervened and said something that has stuck with me since.

“The thing about ‘no’s” is — it’s what you do with them that counts”.

Shoot. He’s right.

It’s stuck with me because often times when we hear a ‘no’ we automatically think something is wrong or maybe we’ve failed to try hard enough. Maybe we’re not good enough. Maybe we’re thinking that God is wrong to say ‘no’ to us.

We can be so selfish.

What are we going to do with a ‘no’ when it comes our way? Are we going to cry about it? Are we going question? Of course. We’re human. It’s bound to happen. It’s okay to be upset when a ‘no’ comes your way but you can’t be upset forever. You can’t cry forever.

What are you going to do with the next ‘no’ that comes your way?

Are you going to praise God for whatever he’s protecting you from? Are you going to thank Him for having a better plan or a better opportunity?

We often don’t do that, do we?

I know I don’t.

Here’s the thing about ‘no’s’ that allows us to realize that God is faithful.

God has something far greater in store for us

God is in control and His plan is far better than anything we could ever imagine.

To say ‘yes’ would bring us harm we don’t foresee

God has something far greater in store for us

God is in control and His plan is far better than anything we could ever imagine.

We love to think that God is only behind the ‘yeses’ in our lives but that’s simply not true. He’s behind it all, even if in the trials and pain and the ‘no’s’. A ‘no’ is one of the primary way God reminds us of our need for Him. Ultimately the ‘no’ draws us closer to Him.

Scripture tells us that God has a plan for those who love Him but it doesn’t give us a timeline for when those plans will happen or take place. Sometimes His plans include waiting and everything in between. We are given a ‘no’ because God is shaping us and ultimately, His plan is far better than what we thought. For all we know, our plans could get us into trouble or be dangerous for us. We don’t see the future but God does. He knows our future and he knows our plans and our desires. He knows our hearts. We are never in control of the plans we have for our lives. God is in control and He has a plan that isn’t our plan and it’s better for us.

God has a reason why he prevented this opportunity from happening for me. He has a reason why he’s prevented or allowed something from happening in your life too. It’s not because He wants to make your life miserable or because He doesn’t love you. In fact, it’s the complete opposite. He loves and it’s possible that He wants to bless you from another angle. It’s possible that maybe He’s asking you to surrender or perhaps, he’s needing you to realize that the only thing that will satisfy — your one missing piece — is Himself.

When a ‘no’ comes your way, what are you going to do with it?

[h3llofearless]

When Dreams Get in the Way

When I was 10, I had this Relient K album. While listening to it, I chose to look on the back of it. Sure enough, I read "recorded in Nashville, TN". After that, I looked at other albums and they were all recorded in Nashville.

One day, I learned about Nashville and I fell in love. Ever since that day, that city has been my dream.

I remember the first time I visited. "It's real" I kept saying, as if I thought it was just a magical land far far away that no one knew about. But it was. It was real and it was a magical experience. Who wouldn't love spending hours gawking over musical history, seeing a Taylor Swift exhibit, hearing live music on the streets or sitting at Elvis Presley's old piano on music row. It was beautiful and it was a trip I would always remember.

Fast-forward a few years, I had a bigger dream. I didn't want to visit it, I wanted to live there. Who wouldn't? When you love music like I do, Nashville is the destination. I applied for an internship in 2014. I got it and I had made plans to move there. To say I was excited would be an understatement.  I was thrilled. My dream was coming true, so I thought.  I went, I saw the city, I made plans and I even posted on Facebook that I had made the move.. finally. But plans don't always work out like we think. I say that because God had a different plan.

I found myself traveling home a week later. As I entered the driveway, the crying came and my heart was torn in two. It was broken; completely shattered. It took so long to get over it. Every day, I questioned and I cried out to the Lord asking why he gave me Nashville and then took it away. It was a rough season. But I grew and I tried again. But God closed the door and he gave me Georgia. And so I went.

I had been better surrendering Nashville to the Lord. I was doing better. I went so many times during my time in Georgia. I fell in love so much more. But God, in the most kind way kept telling me: "wait. Just wait ". So, I waited, and waited some more.

After awhile, I had realized that maybe I had a different dream for now. Maybe my heart wasn't entirely into Nashville. But the desire still came and I still longed to be there. But God kept whispering "wait".

Wait...

Wait some more ...

Keep waiting....

And now I'm here. It's 2 am and I'm sitting up writing this, knowing that I have to stop holding on and I have to let go. I have to surrender....

//

Let's talk about Nehemiah for a minute.

The words of Nehemiah the son of Hacaliah. Now it happened in the month of Chislev, in the twentieth year, as I was in Susa the citadel, 2 that Hanani, one of my brothers, came with certain men from Judah. And I asked them concerning the Jews who escaped, who had survived the exile, and concerning Jerusalem.3 And they said to me, “The remnant there in the province who had survived the exile is in great trouble and shame. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates are destroyed by fire.” 4 As soon as I heard these words I sat down and wept and mourned for days, and I continued fasting and praying before the God of heaven. 5 And I said, “O Lord God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, 6 let your ear be attentive and your eyes open, to hear the prayer of your servant that I now pray before you day and night for the people of Israel your servants, confessing the sins of the people of Israel, which we have sinned against you. Even I and my father's house have sinned. 7 We have acted very corruptly against you and have not kept the commandments, the statutes, and the rules that you commanded your servant Moses. 8 Remember the word that you commanded your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the peoples, 9 but if you return to me and keep my commandments and do them, though your outcasts are in the uttermost parts of heaven, from there I will gather them and bring them to the place that I have chosen, to make my name dwell there.’ 10 They are your servants and your people, whom you have redeemed by your great power and by your strong hand. 11 O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of your servant, and to the prayer of your servants who delight to fear your name, and give success to your servant today, and grant him mercy in the sight of this man.” -Nehemiah 1:1-11

The cool thing about Nehemiah is that he came to the Lord and he asked for direction. He wanted to go where the Lord was leading him, and so he asked. He was intentional to pray and seek answers. He studied the situation and circumstances and humbled himself before the Lord. He was faithful to draw near to God, surrendering it all to Him.

While reading this during my bible study I was asked this question: what's getting in the way of you asking the Lord for direction? Have you been unwilling to consider God’s plan? And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew what it was  I knew it was getting in the way. Maybe it's always been in the way. I kew whether or not I was willing or unwilling. I knew what God was telling me.

Dreams. Hopes. Desires.

We all have them. We all want them to come true. We want. We want. We want. We long for it We put everything else on the back burner because it might interrupt our plans and our dreams. Our dreams and our desires are something that gets in the way.. a lot.

A lot of times, what we want always gets in the way of our relationship with God, and it often makes us unwilling to consider His plan for us.

Do you  want what God wants? Are you considering His plan or your own plan?

  Nehemiah prayed. Have you prayed? Have I prayed?

Honestly, I’m preaching to the choir as I write this. I’ve seen in so many circumstances how Nashville and my dreams have gotten in the way of what the Lord might have for me. But here’s the thing, it doesn’t have to stay that way for you or I. We can fix what’s getting in the way.

Our God is sovereign. He doesn’t need to be figured out. But those who seek Him will  find him. He is glorified when we surrender our lives and our dreams to Him. He wants to guide you. He wants you, me, us to surrender.

Are your dreams and hopes and desires getting in the way of where God might be leading you?

Find to time to spend with Him. Draw near to Him. Stay with Him. Live in obedience and humble yourself before Him. I have to do this too. No matter what you’re facing right now, God is faithful. He is the safest place for you and I.

  Seek Him for wisdom and guidance. Surrender to Him. I know it’s hard. That word is hard to hear but it’s good. It’s freeing. Let God take direction for your life. His plan is much better than your plan will ever be.

Let Him take the wheel. Let Him you. I promise that even if you take a wrong turn, He’ll turn you around. He always does and He always will. He loves you. Don’t let your hopes, wants and desires get in the way of a beautiful plan God has for you.

Surrender. Trust. Obey And when you are feeling like He is leading you, don’t just sit there. Go. Do it. Do what He is calling you to do.

“You are safe and you lead us to your heart” – Kari Jobe

“True surrender will always go beyond natural devotion. If we will only give up, God will surrender Himself to embrace all those around us and will meet their needs, which were created by our surrender. Beware of stopping anywhere short of total surrender to God. Most of us have only a vision of what this really means, but have never truly experienced it. “– My Utmost for His Highest

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Strength in Weakness: How to find strength when you’re surrounded by weakness

Strength.

What is that?

How am I supposed to feel strong when all I do is feel weakness surrounding me?

The strength that I had, Lord.. It’s not there anymore. And I’m lost.

Are you there? Are in that season right now? Do you not feel like you have the strength that you once had? If you are, know that you aren’t alone. Know that you aren’t the only one who feels weak. Weakness is very much a real thing that people face everyday. It’s hard being human.

We become lonely We suffer We question We doubt

What is it that we don’t do?

We really lack at trusting God don’t we? We limit the love of God.

Girl, don’t be ashamed to admit that truth because I do that too. Often times, we forget the love that God has for us. We often believe that God shouldn’t love us because we aren’t good enough or worthy enough for that. We believe that God shouldn’t give us strength because we don’t deserve it or perhaps, we just want to try and do this thing called life on our own.

You might be thinking:

“God, I got this. I can do this on my own. I’ll be fine. “

“I don’t deserve the strength that God provides. I’m too wretched”

“God, I know you can forgive me but I don’t think you’re willing”

I understand these thoughts very well. It happens to all of us. We’ve all been tempted to let our minds wander and there. But you know what? Satan is such a liar and he’s really good at his job. He speaks these lies to us and more often than not, we believe it. We let Satan have the victory. He whispers to us all too often saying, ‘You’re so weak. God doesn’t love weak people” or “He won’t make you strong. You can do this on your own”.

Sister, when we embrace the lies of Satan, we are elevating our pride and our sin above the grace of God. We are doing the very thing we don’t want to do. We are limiting our Almighty Savior. We are limiting the blood of Jesus that was shed to wash away the sins of the world. Yes, that means your sin and that means my sin. By believing these lies, we are telling God: “You’re not big enough,” “I don’t trust you enough,” “You’ve forgotten about me”.  

We are never stronger when we believe those lies.

We are never stronger when we let the weakness overpower us.

“But he said to me. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong” – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

His grace is sufficient for us. When we are weak, He makes us strong. It is in His strong that helps us persevere. It is in His strength that helps us in hardships and in trials. It is in His strength that we remain steadfast and hopeful for the future. It is in His strength that we can ever be fearless.

Sister, if you are struggling with strength today or feeling surrounded with weakness. Draw near to the Lord and He will draw near to you. Draw close to Him today. Don’t try to limit Him and His love for you. Don’t try to limit His grace and His faithfulness. Don’t try to limit His strength.

He is stronger than our fears and our failures. 

He is stronger than our sin He is stronger than the desert seasons He is stronger than your weakness He is stronger than the lies the enemy feeds you. HE IS STRONG. HE IS STRONGER.

Don’t limit His strength. Remember the God that you serve and remember that if you just draw near to Him, He will give you strength.

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak” – Isaiah 40:29

“My soul is weary with sorrow. Strengthen me with your word” – Psalm 119:28

“For those who hope in the Lord, He will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will not run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” – Isaiah 40:31

Do not limit Him. Let Him give you strength for today. He hasn’t forgotten you and it is only through Him that we will ever become stronger. Our hope is secure in our Savior. Let’s not limit His love or diminish His strength.

Instead, let’s draw near to the Father.

[h3llofearless]

When Life Gets Messy (and how to handle it)

I’m going to get a little persona with you because life is messy and it’s hard and sometimes we aren’t sure where we are going. Today. This past week. I kind of lost it. I’ve really lost it. I’ve cried a lot and I’ve questioned a lot. I’ve doubted a lot.

I’ve become so overwhelmed with work, exhausted in the waiting and questioning why I am where I am. I work hard and sometimes, I wonder if I’ll ever get the results I’m looking for. Maybe I’ll never get that amazing job over at CMT or have my own publication. Maybe this is all there is. What if I’ll never be viewed by others the way that I’d like to be viewed. I struggle with wondering if others think I’m still a little kid or I’m somehow different because I’m single, as if a relationship status is what’s most important. I do. I struggle. I’m human. My life has been messy this past week. As I curl up in my bed and pathetically sob, I say “Whatever. I quit. I don’t know how to do this anymore”.

Okay. I admit it. It’s a little dramatic.

But sometimes, you just lose it and that’s been me lately. I’ve been a mess.

Girls, I know how hard it is when life gets messy. When you feel like you don’t know where to turn or how you’re going to get to your next destination. I know what it’s like to want to give up. It’s been clear that all these things have been my thought process lately. Life feels like it’s spinning out of control and our joy is depleted. The weight of the world and everything we have going on is weighing on our shoulders. It’s too much of a burden to bear. It’s too hard. You catch yourself crying out to the Lord saying “Why Lord? How long? Where are we going next?”

I’ve asked those questions before. It’s okay. I understand that icky feeling of inadequacy and wondering what other people are thinking? We compare and we see what everyone else around us has accomplished and then we wonder, “Why can’t I be that successful? Why can’t I do that? Why can’t I just prove myself?” These questions and these comparisons overwhelm our hearts. It becomes too much, and you wonder why God isn’t listening or hearing you.

I know the worry that you have when it comes to finances or insurance or having to pay the bills on time. I know the anxiety that creeps up inside you when you’re walking through a trial. You’re longing for triumph that feels so close but yet, it’s so far away. Will you ever make it?

I know. I’m there. I’ve been there.

I understand what you’re dealing with.

These questions you’re asking and these feelings you are feeling are valid.

As I wake up each day and get my coffee and start work, I wonder, “what’s next, Lord? Why am I here? Please provide. What’s next?” While I ask these questions and get myself all in a funk, I realize that these questions will be answered and that our God hasn’t forgotten about us and our situations.

We overlook who God is often when we are in the midst of our troubles.

We forget His faithfulness.

We forget that nothing is too hard for Him to handle.

We forget that He hasn’t forgotten.

Day in and day, we are given a lot and we worry about the next thing. We wonder about the unknown, and often, we doubt ourselves. We’re not perfect but we know someone who is. God will ALWAYS give us more than we can handle and life will always be messy.

Sounds depressing doesn’t it? But it’s not.

HE will never give us MORE than HE can handle. That’s the beautiful truth in all of this. God has got this. He loves us, and in the messy and in the questioning, God draws us close to Him. Why does this happen? Why in the world would God give us more than we can handle in our messy day-to-day lives? Because it reminds us of our NEED for Him.

In total surrender, we often say “I can’t do this. I give up. I quit.” God steps in and says “But I can. Trust me. I haven’t forgotten you. I have a plan. Trust me”.

We can’t do any of this on our own. If we try, we break down, question and get caught in the comparison game. It happens more often than not. We have to surrender ourselves daily, allowing the Lord to take over. We’re messy people with a big God or who loves and adores us.

He knows what He’s doing.

Does that mean we don’t try? Doest that mean we can’t cry or question? Of course not. 

Cry. 

Ask God the questions. No question is too hard for Him to answer. 

And don’t you ever give up. 

Don’t you ever stop trying.

We have to surrender. We have to give up all of our burdens and let him handle the rest.

What you are going through isn’t purposeless. He has you. His will and His ways are much better than yours (Is. 55:8-9). I promise. I also promise that He won’t leave you in the mess or the pain or the waiting or questioning forever. He won’t. He who has started a work in you will carry it out to completion (Phil.1:6). He has you where he has you for a purpose and a reason. Perhaps it’s to prepare you for something greater. Maybe it’s to hep you realize that you need a Savior or it could be that He’s refining you and teaching you to trust Him.

It’s okay to trust Him.

Sure, we will still have trials. God never promised a trial less life. We will have trouble in this world (John 16). But you know what the good news is? You know what will help us overcome the messy?

Jesus.

He has overcome the world.

He is an overcomer.

We can’t overcome without the overcomer.

We can’t accomplish or do anything or be anyone without the creator of our salvation.

No matter how great we think we are or how wonderfully we want to be viewed, we won’t be because it’s not about us. It’s about the one who took on death and conquered it. It’s about the one who conquered the grave and is now alive in us today. It is about the one who gifted us eternal life. It’s about JESUS. It will always be all about Jesus.

He is the faithful one. He is the one who can handle the burdens in your life. He is the one who will walk with you through each step and each mission you have set before you. He is the one who will guide you to the next thing. He is the one who will do something so incredibly amazing in your life that it will be far beyond anything you could have ever imagined. He is GOD.

Only one man walked to the grave and conquered it for me and for you. Only one man took on the sin of the world so that we won’t have to be separated from Him forever. One man. One cross. One overcomer. Jesus.

So, even though it seems like it’s a big huge mess or you’re overwhelmed or you have no idea where you’re going next, don’t worry. TRUST. But also, please know that it’s okay to walk away for a little while and ask the questions and cry out to God. It’s okay. But don’t stay in that shell forever. Don’t have that pity party forever. I won’t let you. I won’t even let myself.

He’s offering to help you. He’s offering to carry your burdens for you. Just give it to Him and rest. Offer up the mess and let him finish the rest. When we move out of that pity party, and focus on Christ, our perspective shifts. It changes. All the pains, frustrations and questions we ask become so small in comparison to who Jesus is. The trials and the mess we face are all a part of the story. But it’s not the end of the story. There’s more to be written. Hang in there with me. We can do this because we have a God who wants to walk with us through the mess of our lives. He can handle this and He understands will step into your pain. He will meet you where you are. Just trust Him. Jesus knows what you’re dealing with. He knows because He’s the one who carried it on His shoulders and nailed it to a tree.

He loves you. He adores you. Surrender it all to Him. Trust in Him.

You are stronger and wiser because of all the battles you’ve faced and Jesus has been there with you every step of the way.

Press into Him and cry on His shoulder. After you’ve done that, take heart.

Jesus has overcome the world!

[h3llofearless]

Finding Perspective:

Perspective: a particular attitude or way of regarding something; a point of view.

  I sit and I wait. I wait for what’s to come. I wait for His or perhaps, if we’re being honest, I’m waiting for my will. I’m waiting for a job to come today and I’m waiting for my next big move to happen next week. That’s my timeline but I should know that my timeline isn’t God’s timeline, right? My perspective as of late has been what’s on my timeline and how things should happen, and often times this leaves me discouraged.

What I’ve learned this week or perhaps, what I’ve been reminded of this week is that perspective is important. We can’t truly live a full live for Christ if our perspective is through our own eyes of wants and desires. If we do that, it leaves us discouraged and worry-filled. I know this because that’s been my perspective lens as of late. I look to the future and I wonder what the Lord is doing. I question why he has been in yet another waiting period and as much as I hate to admit it, I often doubt him. Why? Because my timeline speaks to right now and it echoes the desires of wanting things to happen quickly. It doesn’t want to be in the unknown and it doesn’t want to be questioning.

Most importantly, the heart behind it knows that my timeline isn’t God’s. I know that my plans aren’t his plans and I know that my perspective is often not through His eyes. I’m human, and I’ll be the first to admit that I fail a lot and I worry more than I should. I also lose perspective and I become nearsighted because I don’t have an eternal perspective. My eyes become blurry and I can’t see clearly because I’m not trusting and I’m not focusing on eternity, which is ultimately where our focus should be.

God is eternal.

“Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.” – Psalm 90:2

He is eternal and because He is eternal, He is not limited by time. In fact, He is outside of time. He is before time and will always be after time has passed away. Unlike us who are inside of time and can’t comprehend being anything beyond that, God completely surrounds and contains time. He contains our future and He knew our futures before we were even born. He knew what the plan for our lives before we were even formed in the womb.

We as humans are in time so that we could have the opportunity to be in relationship with Him, know Him and walk with Him. We are inside of time so that we can worship the creator and author of time. You see, God’s timing and His sense of time is far better than what humans view to be good timing. His timing is for our benefit. God, the author and creator of our salvation is what’s best for us. He knows us and our innermost parts. He formed us. He knows what’s BEST for us. Not what is great or fine or lovely but what is BEST.

Reader, you don’t want whats good or what’s great. You want the BEST.

You don’t want your timing. You want HIS timing.

Don’t be nearsighted.

Switch to an eternal perspective.

An eternal perspective is much greater than our perspective that lives within the walls of our tiny human brains. An eternal perspective changes our priorities. It refrains from worry or doubt and brings us to Jesus. It draws us close to Him. If you’re reading this and you’re in pain or you’re in a waiting period, please know that I understand those seasons are very real. I know them well.

Are you fearful of switching your perspective? Don’t be. The Holy Spirit is our comforter in times of waiting, in times of sorrow or in times of mourning. He is our comforter always. Don’t be fearful of where you are at but trust that God’s timing is far better than ours ever will be. Believe that He is the King of the earth and the Lord of our lives. Understand that His perspective is far better than our nearsightedness. Take comfort in the fact that our God isn’t nearsighted but farsighted. Take comfort in knowing that He’s got you and He will finish writing your story.

Switch your perspective. It will change the course of your day.

God’s perspective is eternal in scope and entrusts you with what’s BEST for you and for His glory.

What’s your perspective like today?

[h3llofearless]

2016: A Year in the Life

>What a year it’s been. I don’t even know where to begin to process how much has happened. In January I was in Georgia, I got to talk with Keith Urban (an artist that is not only my favorite but a person I have a ton of respect for), an incredible job opportunity opened up, I struggled with depression, went to Nashville and then I came home. So much happened in the course of one month.

February was slow. I focused on covering and writing recaps of American Idol, while spending my days in a coffee shop and learning more about what anxiety, loneliness and depression felt like. In fact, I wasn’t sure if February would ever end. Although it was a slow month, so much had happened. I had learned more about standing up for myself in one month than I probably did anything else that month. February consisted of meetings, lack of sleep, confronting people and letting go of something that I thought would be entirely different than it was. Loneliness was real but it didn’t keep me from learning more about myself.

March came and went and before I knew it, I was in Griffin, Georgia saying goodbye to people who were there for me in the midst of all the hardship and then I was on my way to Nashville; the greatest city in the world. After spending my birthday in Nashville, I drove home to Michigan, where I now live for however long the Lord will have me here. Summer was hard as I longed for Nashville but in the midst of the hardship, I got to interview Skillet, which was a big deal for me.

Over the course of 2016, I’ve interviewed people I never thought I would and I got to listen to albums early that I’ve been dying to listen to. The Lord also gave me an opportunity to read and review a book that consisted of unreleased Johnny Cash songs, and if you know me at all, you know this was a big deal. Maren Morris, Scott Borchetta, LoCash and other big names followed me on Twitter. Keith Urban has continuously liked and retweeted me more times than I can count, and through all of it, I’ve made friends and I’ve been a part of publications that I now can’t picture my life without. Acacia, Kaitlyn, Addie and everyone else involved in the publications I write for, thank you for being you and for being a part of my life. Thank you for believing in me and my dreams. What is life without you? I’d rather not know.

And now, we’ll talk about the best part of my 2016. Vancouver, Washington was the highlight of my year and a memory I will always hold close to my heart. During that month in September, I got to catch up with old friends, see Carrie Underwood with my best friends, make new friends and fall in love with a city and their coffee. It was the time of my life and a time I will never forget. Learning and living life with such a great community was enriching and took the edge off when it came to loneliness. Driving to Taylor Swift, getting lost in Portland, attending Seminary as a non-student, One Tree Hill and most importantly, Jesus talks were something that I had missed so much and were such a blessing. These were new adventures mixed with old adventures and it all added up to be a beautiful month that made me realize that sometimes new dreams come along in your life and it’s okay to pursue them. God was incredibly faithful to me during that month and He’s still been faithful to me today.

From family vacations to learning more about myself to reconnecting with friends has made 2016 a wonderful year. But it hasn’t all been wonderful. 2016 has been a long, hard and challenging year for me. I’ve struggled with wondering where I’m going with my life, loneliness, longing, waiting and learning. I lived in Georgia for 6 months and moved back home. I’ve been blessed with incredible opportunities but I’ve also had days where I feel like I will never do anything with my life or I’ll find myself asking God what the heck he is doing. Every day is a roller coaster but every day God has been faithful.

I’ve struggled but I’ve been victorious and I’ve overcome a lot of obstacles. Every year has obstacles but every year also has amazing victories. I can’t wait to see what victories will take place in 2017. I’m looking forward to seeing what the Lord has in store for me and for those around me. 2016 was hard but so was 2015 and 2014 and so on. Every year has its rough patches but isn’t that what makes life so beautiful? We don’t grow unless we struggle. We’re not fearless until we face the very thing that scares us to death. We can’t really know who we are until we know Whose we are. That’s what I’ve learned the most this year. My identity is in Christ and its because of Him that I am where I am. My victories have happened because of Him. My dreams have come true because He’s allowed them to come true. He is faithful and I am His. He is what makes this world and what has made this 2016 so beautiful. Hallelujah, what a Savior.

Thank you Georgia for teaching me how to stand up for myself. Thank you to every publication I work for, for believing in me. Thank you to my friends and my family for loving me unconditionally and being my number one fans, I love you more than coffee and music and that’s real love. Thank you Vancouver for welcoming me into your city and letting me be a part of your community. 

Thank you Jesus for 2016 and everything you’ve taught me and every victory and every obstacle that I have faced and have overcome. Thank you for being the one constant in a world that is ever changing. Thank you for always being faithful and never forgetting about me in a world that can so easily forget. Thank you for saving a wretch like me.

Here’s to 2017!!

[h3llofearless]

What If I’m Fearful?

Reader,

I know what you’re thinking. This entire blog is about being fearless, so why are we talking about being fearful? Talking about being fearless is much easier than discussing fear. When we talk about fearlessness, it reminds us that we don’t need to give up and we can jump even if we’re completely terrified. But talking about fear? That’s a whole different story. It brings out  worry, timidness and fear of the ‘now’. But I’m bringing up fear because I don’t think you can every truly be fearless if you’ve never been afraid. In order to learn how to be fearless, you have to face fear and overcome it.

Are you fearful today? I’m right there with you. I know what it’s like to be stuck in a state of fear. I understand if you’re there. Maybe you’re in fear of the future or you’re fearing and worrying about whether or not you’re going anywhere with your life. Oh girl, I know it so well. In fact, you know that I know it well because I’m in that season right now. I talk about being fearless, and yes, it is so important. But I still have my days where I’m not entirely fearless. Lately, I’m having days where I’m just stuck and left fearing the future and if I’ll do anything with my life. What if I’ll just be stuck in this wilderness season forever?

You’re fearful and that’s not a bad thing. You’re scared and that’s okay. You can’t be fearless all the time but you can practice it. I just want to let you know that even if you are fearful today, you still have the ability to be fearless. When I tell you this, I’m speaking to myself as well.

Lately, I’ve been up late at night crying out to the Lord, reading the pages of my Bible that I’ve read a million times and questioning with doubt. I’ve wondered why the Lord has me in the season I’m in. A lot of you have told me that even in the hard times, I seem joyful. Well, I long to be that way and am so thankful you see that. But, if I’m being honest, I don’t often think I’m joyful. I don’t often believe that I’m fearless. I speak about it and I believe that it’s instilled in all of us to be fearless but sometimes I wonder if I am. I fear and I worry more often times than I can really count. Crying is a common occurrence because I have no idea what the Lord is doing in my life or where I’m going next.

I fear that perhaps, I’ll be in this season for another 5 months or another year. It terrifies me. So, please know that I fear as well and I’m not joyful sometimes. At times, I’m not optimistic but negative. I often lack faith, which is something I wish I didn’t lack at all. But through all the late nights and the crying out to the Lord, He’s taught me many things. Without knowing what I’m looking for in Scripture some nights, I take my finger and turn to a random spot. Each time I do this, I either turn to James 1, which speaks about counting it all joy when we face trials or Psalm 13 where it speaks about waiting. It’s amazing to me how the Lord has spoken directly to me in these times of uncertainty.

So, instead of questioning with doubt during these late nights, I pray that I can see the joy even while facing trial, and that I can worship him even in the struggle. I pray that I won’t have fear of the future but I’ll be fearless for the future. I’ve learned that the wilderness and the season we go through make us stronger. I’ve learned that trials make us brave and that it’s courageous to feel. I’ve learned that there is beauty in surrender; to expose all of our broken pieces to the Lord, and allowing him to have our dreams and hopes that we’ve longed for our entire lives. It’s brave to surrender. In fact, it’s fearless. It’s a fearless thing to call out to the Lord, letting him know your heart.

Over this past year, I’ve seen many dreams come true but I’ve also faced many struggles. I’ve learned a lot about myself and the Lord has consistently shown me that we don’t really know who we are until we know whose we are. For me, it all comes back to identity and learning about who we are in Christ. We aren’t fearful in Christ. We’re fearless. He loves us and He knows the season you’re facing. You aren’t alone in it and He hasn’t forgotten you.

Following Jesus and surrendering to Christ, although is hard is the most beautiful investment you’ll ever take part in. You’re fearful and it’s okay but please don’t be fearful forever. I’m learning that too. I’m learning and being reminded right along with you. You might be lost. I know I sometimes feel like I am. But remember that you have to be lost to be found. You’ll understand soon what the Lord is doing. You won’t be stuck in fearfulness or the wandering forever. You won’t be lost forever. God has a plan for you, and it’s going to a beautiful plan that will exceed all of your expectations. He is going to use you. Remember that. I need to remember that too.

_You are so loved. You are not forgotten. Remember this. _

_Choose not to be fearful of the future but fearless for the future. _