gwenishell

[gwenishell]

why did you spend the summer stealing babies?

Legally, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Lui and I spent all summer with his child bride. We wanted to go to Aqualameland too but we we’re having too much fun sitting around rodents and talking about super interesting things like the manticores and the anatomy of one of my tentacles.

[gwenishell]

Text Message || HOS

Serenity: Implying that I haven't gotten caught yet for things I've done in my past assumes I'm guilty of things from my past, but we're going to go with "No." I will admit to sadly loving my sister on occasion though and also believing in the supernatural (to an extent) and as much as an overachiever as my sister is, I do not doubt her abilities to become a Nancy Drew Poltergeist and make it her undead wish to haunt me until my sleeping moral compass wakes up and I admit what I've done to the world. Presumably on the cusp of me taking the throne because if she can't have it, her murderous sister cannot.

Gwen: Ngl that looked long so I didn't read any of it. I'm just going to assume you said something super annoying and long winded about why you cannot.😒 You and Melody are the same.

[gwenishell]

Text Message || HOS

Serenity: True. And I'd be lying if I said I haven't dreamt of it, but I like my relationship our daughter and the rest of my family too much to go to prison for murdering her for being annoying. :P

Gwen: So you plan on getting caught? God i hate when you remind me that you're lame princess of our friend group.

[gwenishell]

Text Message || HOS

Serenity: I mean...if Mel just happened to be caught in that...then maybe...y'know...possibly... Lol.

Gwen: Then kill her, no one's stopping you

[gwenishell]

Text Message || HOS

Serenity: Y'know what? That's fair. Point to you. XD That WOULD be an emergency, but then Tal and I would have to go too and that defeats the purpose of just Mel going.

Gwen: Would she HAVE to go too? Cuz there's always the whole "murder toddler" excuse. I don't have much actually attending funeral experience, but I feel like they're not events that more people should be dead for.

[gwenishell]

Text Message || HOS

Serenity: I know, right? Proud of me too. But you're invested enough in yourself and that's the point in betting, lol. What kind of emergency do you think I could manipulate to make it so she just, leaves again?

Gwen: I invest on myself by stealing from Rafe. I'm not risking giving him is money back because you grew a self control. Ummm you could kill your dad? That's an emergency?

[gwenishell]

Text Message || HOS

Serenity: Just in case there is a running bet going around town on how long my sister had to be back before making me wish she wasn't, today is the day. I hope one of you made some money, lol.

Gwen: You lasted longer than I thought but also I'm not invested in either of you enough to actually bet. Proud of u tho

[gwenishell]

I really hate that even though I've never fucked you, we still ended up raising a kid together. But like...I love you and stuff. There.

[gwenishell]

Uh hello! I am in the exact same boat as you and even though I'm not technically a human, I'm hurt and offended that I didn't get a personalized invitation to this adult human interaction! I tried to write something last week and it literally ended up being a song about bathtime. And not even a sexy bath, one with ducks!

Llama Llama Misses Mama…Llama Llama Time to Share…Llama Llama Gram and Grandpa…I’m up to my ass in children’s books and am craving nothing but regular prose that doesn’t fucking rhyme. I haven’t written anything for myself in practically a year, and I’m desperate for adult human interaction – if anyone wants to join me for a writing brainstorm session in Sirenbucks, I’ll be there. 

[gwenishell]

"Did you know that one in 18 men are born with an extra nipple?" Gwen asked out of nowhere as she, Ren and Tallulah moved their Trick or Treating on to the next cottage. "Apparently Harry Styles, Mark Wahlberg, and even Tilda Swinton were born with them. What do you think are the odds of us running into a dude with an extra nipple tonight? Pretty high right? We should do a shiggles video or at least an Instagram live one and try to find a third nipple tonight."

[gwenishell]

[gwenishell]

Question: What is your best advice for getting over an ex?

[gwenishell]

Personally, other than the fact that the main place that sells it in town is owned the worst people alive, coffee isn’t all that great taste-wise. Sure it wakes you up, but at what cost? At least there's a variety of flavors and none of the alleged crash with tea.

I know tea is supposed to be better for you, but there’s just no caffeine rush in the world that replaces coffee. No matter how much caffeine they say is in tea, I never feel anything other than confusion as to why I’m drinking tea in the first place. Thoughts?

[gwenishell]

i wanna be light, i wanna be light someone help me just feel alive is there a potion you got i could take?

[gwenishell]

× what does your muse smell like? what perfume/cologne are they using?

I used to wear this sea salt and vanilla bean thing but I got tired of it. Now I don't really wear much perfume?

However, my hair still smells Cherry Bl(Awesome) thanks to Shiggles's latest sponsor Function of Beauty and their vegan and cruelty free Shampoo and Conditioner! All I had to do was take a short quiz about my hair and my goals for it before I picked out the scent and color and my hair has never felt nicer on land. Btw, if you click the link in the Description on the latest Shiggles video or right here you can get 20% off on your first order!

[gwenishell]

tweet || Gwacy

@deadstace: @gwenhwyfar please, a cry for help would be me saying that i ENJOYED it. i just said it sounded better maybe bc my eardrums are drunk?

@gwenhwyfar: Better is still awfully "hello 911. He's UNSAFE." Why'd you make the choice to listen to him in the first place? Is your streaming service of choice drunk too?

[gwenishell]

tweet || Gwacy

@deadstace: not that i've had 2 bottles of champagne, but post malone sounds better after two bottles of champagne

@Gwenhwyfar: I think this is what people like to call a cry for help?