gukieater

[gukieater]

Hi

I am intersted in reading serise Saudad jk

So my Q is when next chaptee will be out?

Also Smut part of the story or ?

It both warms my heart and surprises me when people read the broken record I had put out in the past and likes it so sending you virtual smoochies 😭🥰😘

And to answer your question, I honestly don't know. My inspiration to write came from all the amazing stuff I used to read from the talent writers I used to follow. Most of stopped updating in the recent years so it kinda got lost in transition. I had a draft stashed somewhere, I don't even remember where now. Maybe I'll pick up and see where we were at this weekend and go from there.

Also I want to keep Saudade ( if I ever finish it) in the edge of a sad- happy storyline so there won't be any details to it if there's any hint of smut. And trust me, you don't want me to write Smuts. It's gonna be a lethal mixture of awkward broth resulting in cringe vomit💀

Thank you again for loving Saudade lovey ❤️

Hope it meets it's rightful ending one day.

[gukieater]

So this has been sitting in my draft since last year 😅

They have been preparing us for a long time indeed 🙂

[gukieater]

Okay, listen. Let me quickly get this out so I I don't forget later.

................................

- Hey, Jungkook?

- Yes?

- Would you like to go out on a date with me?

- Yes

- I know you probably hear that a lot and you can walk away . . .

- Y/N, you are rambling. And I already said yes.

- You did?

- For the 3rd time today, yes.

- So it's a date then? You are not lying?

- I would never lie to you. It's a date, I promise.

Jungkook, your crush turned highschool sweetheart. You finally had the courage to ask him out after homecoming and to your surprise he agrees. So you take him out on a date.

You should be a nervous wreck, grappling for anything that would impress this boy but somehow it's the other way around. Usually the calm and collected guy who you pretty sure will pull through with a straight face even when the entire world is collapsing, is now fidgeting. His feet is tapping in a non-stop rhythm on the hard floor announcing how unapologetically nervous he is. He is doing mental math on what ratio he should mix the drinks so you like it, whispering to himself, is this enough? How cold you want it? Not really asking you a question, more to himself.

And you are there, in awe staring at him with all the love in the universe. You let out a tiny whisper of "I would never fall unless it's you I fall into" and immediately regret it, embarrassment quickly engulfing you, praying to the universe he didn't hear it because you sound so desperate right now. It's just your first date.

But he did, the way his breathe hitches for a second, you didn't know it, you didn't notice, too busy wallowing in self-pity, he heard every single word you let out. He didn't react or say anything, quickly masking his emotions under a face of nonchalant.

But that day he promised something to himself, something that was equal part passionate and terrifying.

Fast forward to this day.

You are sitting at the same bar, in the same booth. The dim light, soft music, you can swear the drink that swirling in front of you, it's the same one from 8 years back. It's just you who is out of place.

Your knees are shaking, liner running down your cheeks, taste bitter and salty mixed with your tears. The butterflies that you felt in your stomach 8years ago, sitting here, today they feel more like thousands micro knots twisting in your gut, ready to snap any moment. And sitting in front of you, the man you thought you'd marry, the one that slipped through your fingers like sand, years ago and you let it because you had no intentions of holding on to it.

You are avoiding direct eye contact with him, only looking when he is not, doing everything you can because you don't know if you will be able to handle what you will see. So you are picking every single miniscule details about him you can in order to do so, no matter how insignificant. He looks more mature now, all the baby fat gone, so is the wonder in his quite eyes that used tell everything his silence and cold demeanor would hide.

He is folding his sleeves, tucking it in, an attempt to hide the scarlet in it's edge. You can still see some stray splatters coloring his otherwise pristine white shirt, not that he is bothered much about it. He is humming as his eyes squint in concentration, a habit you used to find very endearing back in the days. And you remember the song, it's the same one from the first date you had here with him.

Then he looks at you, like really looks at you probably for the first time after your encounter with him after all these years. 6 years to be exact. His eyes are cold, like they used to be. The only difference is there used to be tranquility in them, now they look like they are caging swirls of storms behind them, ready to destroy everything in it's peripheral.

"Never fall in love . . . hm hm hm hmmm . . . " His humming suddenly stops, sleeves neatly folded and tucked in. And then he leans in and whispers -

"I thought you said you'd never fall unless it's me you fall into?"

"You know what happens when people lie to me love, don't you?"

At this, you do exactly what you've been avoiding doing all night, the mistake of looking directly in his eyes. And a blood curdling scream leaves your mouth, something you didn't know you were holding. . . .

NB: is it going to be another plot that I might never finish writing?

- Probably?

Am I opposed to someone else writing and finishing it?

- hell naw, go crazy

It just baffles me how simultaneously beautiful and terrifying this scene could be depending on the backstory that lead to this.

[gukieater]

It just baffles me how simultaneously beautiful and terrifying this scene could be depending on the backstory that lead to this.

[gukieater]

Okay, cool

But

Why he sporting a hickey?

Is he cheating

🔪

namjoon is so beautiful ♡

[gukieater]

I hope your side of the pillow never gets too cold/hot (however you prefer it) and you don't have to wake up at night to flip it, I hope you never have to wait in line to get your morning coffee aaand and your cookies have extra chocolate chip in it and the biggest in the lot falls in your plate. I hope your professor/boss is always in a good Mood whenever they call you in the office and they doze of and miss the part where you made a mistake in your report. I really really hope the people who annoys you gets their socks wet when they are about to go to sleep and their neighbors dogs poos in their lawn.

You a good hooman 🥺

My cat says he loves you 🐈

Does it make me a bad person if I say I miss If I Can Never Give You Peace so much that I can't concentrate on any of the fics I have been reading?

:(

Oh gosh no, it does make me very sorry for not having put out anything about it in ages 😭 I'm hard stuck on everything I'm working on and I don't know what to do about it. I have like, 2k of the chapter written and I think it's not very good but at least it's something. So here's a little snippet of that if you're interested?

(for context because they mention a smell, OC throws out flowers sent by Anna to jk and uses air freshener to get rid of the smell, so jk is talking about the artificial smell. also jungkook is moving into a new office.)

“You’re here early, Mr. Jeon,” you say with a polite nod of your head. He’s standing in the doorway, black hair falling in soft curls to frame his face and underline that perfect jaw of his. A scowl twists his mouth, no doubt due to the smell he was mentioning. “There was a strange smell in here,” you say flatly, without batting an eye. Not lying but not quite telling the truth either. “I assumed you would rather avoid that in your office.”

He doesn’t question what you say — why would he? — and just lets out an annoyed groan. You’re starting to suspect that it’s just your voice that gets on his nerves.

“I suppose this doesn’t look too bad,” he comments, observing the room.

“This should only be temporary,” you tell him. “If everything goes well, you should be able to have your own floor.”

‘If everything goes well’ sure carries a lot of weight here. If he makes it through the next day. If he’s not horrifically murdered in the next few months.

If you don’t fuck up.

“I don’t know if I like this,” Jungkook comments, and there’s something in his tone that makes you look at him. He’s not really saying this to you, expecting you to react to this information. He’s just— saying it. Sharing his thoughts with you. It throws you off more than you would like to admit. “I’m not going to be running things from behind a desk.”

You bite your tongue, force yourself to think about what you want to say.

“Then think of this as being about your image, Mr. Jeon,” you say. “Ideally, I would prefer if you worked from here, at least until things settle down but,” you keep going, expecting his anger, “I would understand if you didn’t. Still, this place should be safe.” And you add, somewhat self-consciously. “I upped the security.”

He seems puzzled, and then an amused — somewhat mocking, but mostly amused — grin forms on his face.

“As long as you have some hybrids on the team, no one should be able to do what we did.”

You nod politely. You’d thought something along those lines.

“We will ensure that we do.”

“Frankly, even we didn’t think it would be that easy to take you on,” Jungkook adds, burying his hands in his pockets and taking a step towards you. The grin’s still dancing on his lips, and you stare. Is he trying to get a rise out of you?

[gukieater]

This dude got no bad camera angle, does he?

안녕 - Weverse Live 221113

[gukieater]

So, it's over.

He hates me now 😅

Fair enough 👌

[gukieater]

🙂🥲

[gukieater]

Saudade Chapter 2 Update

I haven't decided the chapter name yet. I'm in the process of buying a tab, the laptop is out of commission and I can't write shit on my phone.

So this should roll out in a week or so.

So meanwhile, enjoy a lil sneak peak. We'll meet our love OC here.

[gukieater]

The wifey urge to rub my chin in his stubs 🫠😶‍🌫️😮‍💨

Also back off my husband 🐙

hot 😫

[gukieater]

Husband, I dare you 🙂🔪

[gukieater]

What organ do you want me to donate for you to write the next part as fast humanly as possible?

I mean I'm loosing some anyway, like my brain?

Authornim 🥺

the tales of a not so tragic love story.

other info/warning art major!jungkook, art major!braniac!(fem)reader, strangers-to-friends-lovers, HEAVY ANGST, mentions of past abuse, reader’s father is a piece of shit, mother is so far deep into his mind games she turns on the reader rather suddenly, mentions of death if you squint - but only once, fluff if you clean your screen enough teehee, SLOW BURN, angsty. like. REALLY angsty. swearing lol sorry, ABANDONMENT ISSUES, reader gets hospitalized at the end, smut(reader grows up as the story progresses i.e: timeskip), fluff, and humor in future chapters. minors dni. please do not read this if you feel it could upset you in any way, shape, or form.

word count: 1.5k+ :)

originally posted: 03. 30. 2022 (repost from my past blog @/moonixverse)

next update: tba </3 i struggle with my health, but i’m gonna be trying my best!! :(

|| P. 1 ||

You’re making it a point to not blame her. Your mother didn’t want to kick you out, well, not directly. But he sure did. You’re not what he wanted, what he planned. Your father wanted a son, not a daughter. An athlete, not a scholarly artist. He didn’t want a chronically ill kid that only wanted to make her parents proud. He wanted a son that was a carbon copy of himself.

In other words; your father is a narcissistic bastard who will never be satisfied if he doesn’t always get what he wants. So to stay satisfied, he kicked his thirteen year old kid out of the house and onto the busy streets of Seoul.

The thing is, if it were solely up to your mother, you wouldn’t be on the streets. You’d probably be on your bed right now, studying the notes you took during your college level lecture in order to prepare for the upcoming art theory quiz. But instead you’re setting up a small area in between the library and your favorite cafe that’s across the street from the uni that you attend daily. One would think that the fact that their thirteen year old is attending uni rather than middle school like the rest of their peers, is something that should be acknowledged and be minorly proud of.

But you’ve never known the “nice” version of your dad, only the cold and hateful man that he is today. He’s so calloused that he went and threatened to walk out of his marital promise to your mother if she didn’t approve of you being evicted from the only form of life you’ve ever known. So, with tears streaming down her pale and perfect face, she packed all of your things. Which is hardly anything other than books, art supplies, and your childhood treasure : a purple stuffed bunny that you’ve cherished since you were in diapers. It’s your comfort item, outside of your mother. But sadly, she is unavailable to your basic needs.

Which is how you found yourself 2 days later, shivering while the freezing rain is unforgiving under your shivering figure that is curled up in the corner of the spot in the alley you chose to reside in. Sniffling now and then, trying to bundle up but it doesn’t work out quite right due to your blankets, clothes, and shoes being drenched in the cold water. Soon enough you find yourself slipping in and out of consciousness, body nearly completely numb from the less than ideal comfort level of temperature.

Now you’re wondering to yourself as your eyelids are getting heavy again, if this is hypothermia. In particular, you’re wondering if this is how you’ll die, and if it is you’re not one hundred percent against letting it take you. What else do you have to lose? This spot in the alley? The clothes on your back, and the two extra outfits packed away in your backpack? You basically have nothing to lose at this point, no thanks to him.

There’s actually an English lecture going on today. An important one at that, a big exam, the last one before the next semester begins, right about now you would be plopping down in the seat that you chose the first day that you were selected for this class. It really seems like that was something that recently occurred, when in reality it actually happened last semester ; the first semester of uni.

The first page of the seemingly never ending chapter of your very early life. Then again, no one really expected a 13 year old girl with your history to have already graduated from high school, let alone almost finished with her first year of university. But, here you are, not exactly thriving in all aspects of life, mainly just your academics. Unless having one (1) friend outside of lectures counts as a good thing. Although if it weren’t for the lectures you wouldn’t have met Jiya, or unnie, which is what you refer to the older girl as. It was almost comical, the way you two met. She’s a student teacher, one for the lecture you should be in right now. Technically, Jiya is there to help you and your peers when necessary, and to be fair that’s how it was for about a day. Then she noticed that you mostly kept to yourself and was curious as to why someone so academically and artistically talented as you wouldn’t want to have any friends.

Now at first you made sure that the conversations with Jiya were strictly school related, but then she continued to talk with you. Disguising your feelings quickly became too hard around her, solely because she’s the type of person that can read others like an open book. Soon enough you were hanging out with her outside of lectures, laughing and talking about everything and nothing at all hours of the day and night. She even came over to your house a couple times, albeit it was only when your parents weren’t home, you didn’t need to loop her into the train wreck that is your life. So to say that you were shocked when she showed up unannounced the one day that you had been absent, due to wanting to hide the fresh blackeye you were sporting thanks to your dad, was a major understatement. The look of shock that quickly turned into concern, and then anger that flashed across your unnie’s face was one that you had gone through great lengths to avoid seeing. You’ll never forget the way that she screamed at the man who had created the shiner that was darkening by the minute, or how she packed you a bag and kept you at her apartment until your mom cried over the phone for you to come home. Which you did, only to be met with your mom apologizing profusely, spewing the same line you hear every time he gets physical with you.

That he didn’t mean it.

That he loves you.

But you know she’s just trying to keep the peace in the household, especially now that Jiya is aware of what happens behind closed doors. You also knew she was trying to convince herself instead of you, so you did what you always do, you hugged her and said it was okay. That it was already forgotten, when in reality it just went into the seemingly endless file of incidents that are identical or sometimes worse. They never get less painful, he always makes it count.

You begged Jiya not to report what had happened, and what has happened in the past to the police. You couldn’t do that to your mom, she didn’t deserve to be alone and without support because of a few bruises. She deserved better than that, you would rather suffer in silence and escape to your unnie’s apartment when necessary than leave your mother stranded. No matter how much it hurts for her to choose him over you, just thinking about screwing her over hurts much worse than any physical harm that he could cause you to go through. But maybe that’s because you’ve grown used to his abusive tendencies over the years, which is a sad thing considering you’re not even halfway through your adolescence.

A weak and airy sound is all you can muster up for a laugh. The cold is starting to really overtake you as you lay there, reminiscing on good (if you can even classify them as that) memories from the past. Sniffling as a particularly harsh gust of wind blows over you, a small whimper-like sound escaping as the ache in your joints sends jolts on pain throughout your body.

All you can do is close your eyes again, hoping that you’ll be able to drift off into some much needed sleep. But you can tell it won’t be much sleep, but more slipping into unconsciousness until your body has a chance to warm up again.

As you feel yourself slowly slipping, a soft yet panicked male voice is all you remember, accompanied by a warm hand shaking you slowly.

“ca. . ou. . he. . ar … me?”

You could. But you were much too weak to respond, and then you were completely unconscious, the comforting feeling taking over you.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Meanwhile at the university a certain student teacher was sitting in the seat beside yours, wondering why on earth you could be late today out of all days. Jiya woke up with an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach, but assumed it was due to lack of sleep and her typical feelings of anxiety.

But that changed once the lecture was halfway through, she decided to finally excuse herself and make her way to the front office to see if they had heard anything, and she was hoping that it was just a weird day. What the young woman didn’t expect was to hear what the dean’s secretary had to say, it was almost as if time slowed down.

“Oh, Miss Y/L/N? Seoul regional hospital for children called. She was admitted this morning, poor thing.”

Jiya could swear that she has never run out of a building so fast until now.

“I’m coming, baby girl, just hang in there for a little bit longer. Unnie’s got you.”

[gukieater]

Husband, stop giving me "I don't wanna drop the baby" vibe if aren't giving me any 🙂

the pure joy on joonie’s face when he finally held the puppy 🥺 for @namchyoon ♡ (trans. cr. @taee)

[gukieater]

I'm trying okay! 🙃

[gukieater]

There are times when . . .

Nevermind

insanity (colorized) 🤍

[gukieater]

I miss him :(

wanting was enough, for me it was enough 🎻