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………… i was a liar

i’ll do replies tmmr. maybe. probably. possibly……………

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i’ll do replies tmmr. maybe. probably. possibly……………

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okkkkk...... finally finished erik’s dossier........ there’s not much going on in it atm but! it’s there for everyone’s perusal if they so desire ^_^

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‘  it  seems  our  attire  makes  opposites  of  us.  ’ - from Francesca

masquerades.  /  accepting.

her  voice,  bold  yet  good—humored,  elicits  a  dour  glance  from  the  phantom.  it  is  clear  that  whatever  he  seeks  cannot  be  found  upon  raking  his  piercing  gaze  over  the  raucous  crowd,  ﹠.  when  he  fully  meets  her  softer  masked  countenance,  she  is  greeted  by  two  startlingly  golden  hues  smothered  deeply  in  the  confines  of  various  red  fabrics.  certainly,  upon  closer  inspection  of  the  lady's  attire,  one  might  deem  them  the  complete  paradox  of  the  other.  where  he  is  the  walking  illumination  of  death  ﹠.  burning  infernos  —  she  is  softer,  strikingly  ill—fitting  beside  him.

he  almost  refrains  from  responding.  wants  to  pass  off  the  exchange  and  blend  back  into  the  crowd;  morphing  into  the  ecstatic  masses  until  it  would  seem  as  if  he  was  never  there  to  begin  with  —  alas.  erik  was  a  gentleman.  all  thoughts  of  escape  are  kindly  shattered  before  they  fully  form,  ﹠.  he  acknowledges  her  witty  claim  with  a  huff  in—turn.

"indeed,  though  i  fear  i  may  have  over—dressed."  his  own  timbre  is  softer,  smoother,  notably  in  english;  like  a  turbulent  splurge  of  water  coursing  down  a  bounty  of  rocks  ﹠.  piers:  the  exact  contrary  of  how  he  looks,  despite  the  underlying  something  that  coagulates  at  the  base  of  his  speech.  (  heed  for  a  moment  how  he  says  the  word  'fear'  with  little  of  it.  he  looks  completely  in  his  element,  in  fact,  amongst  the  enshrouded  faces.  he  dresses  this  way  on  purpose  —  theatric  as  his  garb  may  be.  )    "...  a  bridgerton,  i  am  to  presume?"

curiously  enough,  there  is  a  surety  that  blends  into  his  words.  he  poses  the  statement  as  ​​​​​​​a  question,  yes...  but  it  is  out  of  a  mere  politeness.  he  knows  all  who  enter  his  domain.

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ayesha!!!!!!!!!!!!

thinking abt ayesha again…..

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# CRIEDSTAG ..  |    his learned values of 𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒚 and 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒕𝒚 tagged along, SHOCKED at his *  associations, 𝖆𝖕𝖕𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖉 at his dreams; sorry that in the bone arena of his skull there were ᶰᵒ ᶠᵒʳᵗˢ ᶠᵒʳ ʷʰᵃᵗ ʰᵉ ˡᵒᵛᵉᵈ .   psd,  icon  template ,  blog ,  carrd .

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IF   I   AM   THE   PHANTOM,   IT   IS   BECAUSE   MAN'S   HATRED   HAS   MADE   ME   SO.   IF   I   AM   TO   BE   SAVED   IT   IS   BECAUSE   YOUR   LOVE   REDEEMS   ME...   /    an   indie   phantom   of   the   opera   portrayal,   written   by   ash.

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HOLD ON…. i found a new psd…….. revamping rq……

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𝑺𝑪𝑬𝑵𝑨𝑹𝑰𝑶  𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺.

↬   OF  MERMAIDS,  MASQUERADES  AND  MAGIC.

scenarios  inspired  by  various  settings,  encounters  &  magic  tucked  between  pages,  fashioned  by  the  author.  tw  for  drowning  mentions.

+   feel  free  to  change  pronouns  /  roles  !

MERMAIDS.

‘  beyond  the  winds  and  past  the  shores,  strange  magic  lurks  about.  ’

‘  will  you  go  to  the  lagoon  with  me  ?  it’s  unsafe  to  go  alone.  ’

‘  they  say  a  siren’s  call  alone  can  drown  a  man  before  she  swallows  him.  ’

‘  quick  !  cover  your  ears.  ’

‘  what  did  you  imagine  as  you  heard  the  song  ?  ’

‘  i  can  feel  a  voice  like  claws  sinking  beneath  my  skin.  ’

‘  one  can  pray  to  the  ocean,  but  the  waters  answer  in  strange  tongues.  ’

‘  careful,  or  we’ll  hit  the  reef.  ’

‘  the  sea-folk  are  flighty  as  their  fins,  and  illusive  as  shimmering  scales.  ’

‘  i  should  like  to  find  myself  a  sailor  fit  for  a  feast.  ’

‘  sometimes  i  wish  there  was  more  than  the  endless  waves.  ’

‘  do  you  see  that  ?  there,  beneath  the  surface  ?  ’

‘  that’s  no  fish,  and  no  woman  either.  ’

‘  what  lies  off  the  edge  of  the  map  ?  ’

‘  the  sea  has  monsters,  but  beauties  too.  ’

‘  i’ve  heard  that  merfolk  make  bargains,  and  trade  in  the  ocean’s  magic.  ’

‘  i’ve  never  seen  a  pearl  like  this  one.  ’

‘  the  ship  will  go  down  if  we  don’t  turn  about  !  ’

‘  what  is  that,  out  there  on  the  rocks  ?  ’

‘  won’t  you  listen  to  my  song  ?  ’

‘  mermaids  love  shiny  things.  keep  a  careful  eye  on  yours.  ’

‘  if  we  hide  in  the  kelp,  we  might  see  them  as  they  pass.  ’

‘  i’ve  heard  the  tales.  to  catch  you  means  to  gain  a  granted  wish.  ’

‘   i’ve  never  seen  your  likeness,  only  heard  the  myths.  ’

‘  come  with  me,  beneath  the  sea  and  foam,  and  be  mine.  ’

‘  some  of  us  live  in  the  ocean,  others  in  rivers  and  streams  and  even  trees.  ’

‘  falling  in  love  with  a  human  is  an  old  tale.  tell  me  a  new  one.  ’

‘  so  you  gave  up  your  fin  for  legs  ?  ’

‘  soon  i  will  be  nothing  but  seafoam.  ’

‘  what  is  a  heart,  but  an  ocean  of  secrets  ?  ’

‘  you’d  let  yourself  be  undone  and  remade  for  someone  you’ve  never  known.  that  is  not  love.  ’

‘  let  your  dreams  sink  to  the  depths.  they’ve  done  you  no  good.  ’

MASQUERADES.

‘  i’ve  never  seen  so  many  unfamiliar  faces.  ’

‘  he’s / she’s / they’ve  been  looking  at  me  all  evening.  ’

‘  would  you  do  me  the  honor  of  a  dance  ?  ’

‘  neither  of  us  need  know  the  other  tonight.  i  prefer  the  mystery.  ’

‘  your  choice  of  costume  is  rather  extravagant.  ’

‘  what  fun  would  it  be,  if  i  took  this  off  ?  ’

‘  i’m  certain  we’ve  met  before.  ’

‘  i’ve  always  longed  for  a  night  like  this.  it’s  something  out  of  a  dream.  ’

‘  won’t  you  come  away  with  me  ?  there’s  a  balcony  just  outside.  ’

‘  i’m  inclined  to  think  we’ve  never  met  before,  and  perhaps  will  never  meet  again  after  tonight.  ’

‘  you  look  like  you  know  how  to  waltz.  care  to  ?  ’

‘  i  must  stand  up  with  someone  this  evening,  and  i  don’t  see  why  it  can’t  be  you.  ’

‘  would  you  stop  staring  so  intently  ?  what  do  you  think  to  find  ?  ’

‘  i’ll  stop  bothering  you  if  you  agree  to  dance  with  me.  ’

‘  please  take  it  off.  i  want  to  see  you.  ’

‘  i’ve  never  been  to  a  masque  before.  ’

‘  it  seems  our  attire  makes  opposites  of  us.  ’

‘  i’ve  never  seen  a  more  hideous  costume  than  that  one.  ’  

‘  i  can’t  stay  much  longer.  you  see,  i’m  not  supposed  to  be  here  at  all.  ’

‘  you’ll  never  know  who  i  am.  ’

‘  people  like  you  always  make  a  fool  of  me.  ’

‘  oh.  i  thought  you  were  someone  else.  ’

‘  i’ll  give  you  three  chances  to  guess  who  i  am.  ’

‘  the  next  time  i  offer  you  my  hand,  you’ll  get  more  than  a  dance  from  me.  ’

‘  i’ve  wanted  to  dance  beneath  stars  like  these  for  as  long  as  i  can  remember.  ’

‘  what  do  you  look  like  ?  ’

‘  that  look  in  your  eyes  tells  me  all  i  need  to  know.  ’

‘  you  won’t  like  what  you’ll  see.  ’

‘  i  recognize  your  voice.  ’

‘  you’ll  know  the  truth  before  the  night  is  up.  ’

‘  i’ve  heard  the  darkest  of  dances  are  the  best  for  falling  in  love  to.  ’

‘  you  don’t  know  it  now,  but  we’re  friends  already.  ’

‘  can’t  we  pretend  a  little  while  longer  ?  ’

‘  it’s  when  the  party  is  over  that  we  learn  to  know  each  other  most.  ’

‘  happily  ever  after  can’t  come  so  easily  as  a  single  night  dancing.  ’

MAGIC.

‘  i’ve  caught  you.  you  have  to  undo  the  spell  for  me  now.  ’

‘  think  carefully  before  asking  for  something  well  beyond  the  reach  of  mortal  power.  ’

‘  i  think  i  know  a  spell  for  that.  ’

‘  i  can’t  help  you.  but  there  are  people  in  other  worlds,  in  the  moors  and  hills  and  trees,  that  might.  ’

‘  you  must  gather  the  necessary  ingredients  for  such  a  potion.  ’

‘  true  love  is  never  the  answer  to  the  riddle.  not  when  so  much  as  life  and  death  is  at  stake.  ’

‘  i’ve  found  and  made  my  way  here  by  right.  you  can’t  deny  me  the  answers  i  seek.  ’

‘  be  warned:  monsters  hide  between  the  trees  and  whisper  in  magic  tongues.  ’

‘  it  always  makes  a  fraction  of  sense  to  be  careful  what  you  wish  for.  ’

‘  i’ve  been  turned  into  an  unsightly  creature,  and  i  need  a  way  of  turning  back.  ’

‘  not  all  magical  stories  happen  in  castles,  or  cottages  in  the  wood.  ’

‘  preposterous.  magic  and  sorcery  do  not  exist  but  in  the  minds  of  superstitious  fools.  ’

‘  get  back  from  that  cauldron  !  it’s  dangerous.  ’

‘  i  don’t  mess  with  things  like  candles  and  the  stars  and  the  moon  after  dark.  it  never  ends  well.  ’

‘  i  am  something  ancient.  my  name  has  been  forgotten  by  mortal  mouths  and  is  found  only  in  their  oldest  texts.  ’

‘  not  all  fairy  helpers  are  kind,  and  not  all  villains  are  ugly,  or  even  cruel.  ’

‘  if  you  want  my  help,  you  must  earn  it.  ’

‘  is  this  something  i  could  learn  ?  ’

‘  i  don’t  want  to  be  ordinary,  and  i  don’t  care  what  the  risks  are.  ’

‘  you  think  to  put  a  curse  on  me  ?  i  will  spend  my  life  defying  it.  ’

‘  stay  back,  witch,  and  keep  your  spells  from  sneaking  past  your  lips.  ’

‘  you  must  chain  a  magician  in  more  than  metal  or  rope  if  you  wish  to  stop  them.  ’

‘  that’s  a  parlor  trick.  show  me  real  magic.  ’

‘  only  you  can  break  the  spell.  it  is  something  you  are  meant  for.  ’

‘  fate  is  nothing  but  an  illusion  placed  in  our  heads,  that  we  might  follow  the  words  of others  and  not  our  own  intentions.  ’

‘  whatever  has  brought  me  here,  i  cannot  turn  back  now.  ’

‘  soon  the  clock  will  strike,  and  nothing  more  might  be  done.  ’  

‘  magic  requires  taking  in  order  to  give.  it  will  keep  demanding  parts  of  you.  ’

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Angel Making Music, after Matthias Grünewald, 2014

Ink and acrylics on paper, 21.3 x 20.5 cm

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“[Love] promises a way out of our suffering. We suffer from our isolation in our individual separateness. Love reiterates: “If only you possessed the beloved one, your soul sick with loneliness would be one with the soul of the beloved.” Partially at least this promise is a fraud.”

— Georges Bataille, in Erotism: Death and Sensuality

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thinking abt ayesha again…..

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[ STOP ] : sender catches receiver's hand to stop them from walking away from them.

"take my hand" prompts.  /  accepting.

to  put  it  delicately:  erik  feels  naked  without  his  mask.  somehow  it’s  as  if  there  are  too  many  lights  cast  upon  him  —  the  feeling  of  eyes  digging  into  his  exposed  flesh,  where  if  he  were  to  turn  he’d  find  the  titular  shock  ﹠.  disgust  of  hungry  on–lookers...  it’s  sad  to  say  that  the  sensation  is  familiar.  notoriously  at–home  with  itself,  even,  that  he  nearly  closes  his  eyes  and  allows  himself  to  be  marveled  at,  to  make  peace  with  what  is  written  as  fact:  that  he  was  an  ugly,  unwanted  thing.  [...]  a  living  cadaver.

so  is  it  not  fair,  in  this  instance,  that  he  turns  away  from  her  —  the  momentary  shock  in  his  eyes  bleeding  into  a  twinged  pit  of  insanity,  fear,  ﹠.  fury?  the  almost  comical  way  in  which  he  retracts  from  such  opposition;  it  is  much  akin  to  an  unruly  cat  being  doused  in  a  basin  of  water.  therefore,  truthfully,  it  is  less  a  walk,  per  se,  ﹠.  more  of  a  harsh  thrashing  to  the  side,  to  get  his  physical  form  as  far  away  from  christine  as  humanly  possible.  

he  dare  not  allow  her  to  see  such  an  atrocity.  she  must  understand,  deep  down,  that  his  anger  ﹠.  vitriol  from   being  de–skinned  (because  that’s  what  this  was,  wasn’t  it?  his  mask  was  his  second  integument.   this  was  no  different  to  a  hunter  peeling  the  skin  of  a  deer...)  was  rightfully  placed.  no  matter  what  love  he  holds  for  her,  even  he  had  his  breaking points.

"after  all  i’ve  done  for  you,  all  i’ve  given  you,  you  would—"

but  his  anger  is  cut  short.  the  caress  of  a  far  smaller  palm  pressing  into  his  arm  reels  him  back  from  the  brink  of  madness,  back  into  a  sense  of  clarity.  when  the  good  side  of  his  face—unkissed  from  the  devil's  lips—turns  to  her,  he  releases  a  hollow,  shaky  breath.  a  callused  hand  reaching  out,  a  blind  urgency  to  him,  message  clear: his  mask.

" ... please,  christine.  you  do  not  wish  to  traverse  this  path.  it  is  one  you  cannot  return  from."  the  unsaid:  if  you  see  me,  all  of  me,  i  cannot  let  you  go.

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EXTENSIVE SCAR RELATED PROMPTS 

GENERAL 

[ TOUCH ]  for sender to trace one of receiver’s scars 

[ TOUCHED ]  for receiver to trace one of sender’s scars

[ DISCOVER ]  for sender to see receiver’s scars for the first time 

[ DISCOVERED ]  for receiver to see sender’s scars for the first time 

[ CARESS ]  for sender to kiss one of receiver’s scars 

[ CARESSED ]  for receiver to kiss one of sender’s scars

[ SHOW ]  for sender to purposefully reveal their scars for receiver to see 

[ SHOWN ]  for receiver to purposefully reveal their scars for sender to see 

SCENARIOS

[ MEND ]  for sender to treat receiver’s wound which leads to them having to remove an article of clothing resulting in revealing scars hidden beneath

[ MENDED ]  for receiver to treat sender’s wound which leads to them having to remove an article of clothing resulting in revealing scars hidden beneath

[ BLUNDER ]  for sender to walk in on receiver in a state of undress thus seeing their scars for the first time

[ BLUNDERED ]  for receiver to walk in on sender in a state of undress thus seeing their scars for the first time 

[ KISS ]  our muses are having sex for the first time which then reveals sender’s scars to receiver 

[ KISSED ]  our muses are having sex for the first time which then reveals receiver’s scars to sender 

[ BATHE ]  our muses take a shower together and sender looks over receiver’s scars 

[ BATHED ]  our muses take a shower together and receiver looks over sender’s scars. 

WORDS

❝  your scars are nothing to be ashamed of.  ❞

❝  why do you hide your scars?  ❞

❝  i see every mark as something to be proud of,  proof of all i survived.  ❞

❝  can i ask what happened here—  how did you get this one?  ❞

❝  sometimes i get these phantom pains i guess you could say.  little aches and i find them oddly comforting.  because my soul still hurts even if my body is healed.  ❞

❝  i wish i could get rid of my scars.  they’re just reminders of everything i want to forget.  ❞

❝  is it alright if i touch this scar?  ❞

❝  it’s okay—  you can touch it if you want.  doesn’t hurt anymore.  ❞

❝  please don’t touch it.  ❞

❝  you don’t have to tell me how you got it.  i just wanted to see.  ❞

❝  looks worse than it was.  ❞

❝  i want to kill every person responsible for leaving you scarred. ❞

❝  i made sure the people who left marks on me wouldn’t get the chance to do it again.  ❞

❝  woah—  what the hell happened there? ❞

❝  you don’t have to hide them around me.  the scars are just part of who you are.  and i like all of what i see.  ❞

❝  i don’t really like letting people see them.  ❞

❝  it’s okay—  honestly i forget they’re there most of the time.  ❞

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'𝚃𝙰𝙺𝙴 𝙼𝚈 𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙳' 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙿𝚃𝚂.

i got mushy and started thinking about like. touches?? but in particular the meaning behind holding hands. so here we are! as always, sender is the person sending the meme, receiver is the person receiving it, and you can just add "+ REVERSE" to switch the roles about! as always, let me know if i've missed any good ones!

[ LEAD ] : sender takes receiver by the hand to guide them to a specific location.

[ DRAG ] : sender grabs the receiver by the hand to aggressively and forcibly drag them to another location.

[ PULL ] : sender takes receiver by the hand to help them to their feet after they've fallen or been knocked over.

[ HASTE ] : in order to move quickly through dangerous territory, sender grabs receiver's hand to bring them to safety.

[ SAVE ] : saving their life in the process, sender grabs receiver's hands to either yank them out of immediate danger, or to pull them to safety.

[ REASSURANCE ] : noticing the receiver is upset, sender gently takes their hand to reassure them and provide them with a sense of comfort.

[ JUST BECAUSE ] : sender holds receiver's hand, just because they can.

[ STOP ] : sender catches receiver's hand to stop them from walking away from them.

[ ATTENTION ] : to get receiver's attention, or to guide it elsewhere, sender hastily takes their hand.

[ FEAR ] : sender, out of instinctive fear, grabs receiver's hand for comfort.

[ TOGETHER ] : in a gesture intended to prove to the receiver that they're no longer alone, sender takes their hand and holds it firmly.

[ LOVE ] : while out together in a romantic setting, sender quietly holds receiver's hand as they're standing together.

[ DISPLAY ] : during the process of an undercover mission/a situation where their identities need to be protected, sender holds receiver's hand to give the impression that they're in a romantic relationship.

[ SUPPORT ] : following a massive emotional blow, sender takes receiver's hand and holds it in an effort to provide emotional support.

[ STEADY ] : noticing the receiver stumbling or losing their balance, sender takes their hand in an effort to physically steady them.

[ NOT ALONE ] : during a moment of intense distress for the sender, they wordlessly reaches out and takes receiver's hand, both as a gesture of gratitude for being with them, and a gesture of self-comfort.

[ COLD ] : after the receiver complains of the cold, sender takes both of their hands in theirs and holds them gently under the guise of warming them up.

[ STILL ] : following a massive shock/stress/trauma, receiver's hands are trembling from the distress of it all. sender, seeing this, gently reaches out to cover and hold their hands, both as a comfort and as a way of calming them with their presence.

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tags.

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until i can find my footing (again) on here you can also find me at @killrude (hannibal) &. @vicekept (nigel)!!!!!! &. yes, yes. there is a theme here, i know....