guardiansandycat

[guardiansandycat]

American dipper (Cinclus mexicanus)

[guardiansandycat]

i don't care if mondays fucked, tuesday wednesday kiss my nuts, thursday this shit fucking sucks, it's friday im in love

[guardiansandycat]

my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

[guardiansandycat]

Literal definition of spyware:

Also From Microsoft’s own FAQ: "Note that Recall does not perform content moderation. It will not hide information such as passwords or financial account numbers. 🤡

[guardiansandycat]

[guardiansandycat]

Tell me your favorite Godzilla design in the notes - Submitted by: fastman27

#C0D2E2 #9CADC0 #536379 #40495B #272631 #16171D

[guardiansandycat]

learning a new meduim? Try fishies…

[guardiansandycat]

Thrice Upon a Time.

[guardiansandycat]

monster hunter fusions time!!! Bazel-Legi, Diablos-Deviljho, and the worlds thiccest boy, Dalagama

[guardiansandycat]

[guardiansandycat]

THE SWIMMING PIC HAS ME SOBBING 😭😭

[guardiansandycat]

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

[guardiansandycat]

[guardiansandycat]

my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again. as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

[guardiansandycat]

had a dream that there was this new tiktok trend called "scrubbing" where people would take images of fictional characters and put them in images of bathtubs and drag around transparent pngs of soap and brushes with their tiktok art tablets and like liquify tool their hair down to mimic giving them a shower. and people would get into flamewars in the comments of every single video over the types of soap they picked and if the images had decently removed backgrounds and if they got soap in their eyes. and it got onto the news because it turned out everyone doing the trend was doing it compulsively like they physically couldn't stop and each video was a solid few minutes long because they were just collectively obsessively recording themselves fake-showering these fictional characters and arguing about it online