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you might be awkward but I can be awkward in a far deeper and more humiliating way than you ever will

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just saw a fanfic on ao3 have a dedication for chatgpt... that section is meant for your horny perverted mutual who proofread your work, you violated sacred law and you will be torn apart and laid bare btw

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loving a character so much will unlock such vulnerable and cringe parts of you that you try to suppress so bad but you can't like it's so humbling

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my project 2025 is making male loneliness and men’s mental health worse

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Diabetic Steve who is at a Dairy Queen with Robin after he went with her to an all girl punk band that’s she’s been wanting to see for years. Steve had been feeling weird all day but he didn’t want to bail at the last second because he knew that Robin would just cancel everything to take care of Steve.

(Steve would do the same for her).

Steve plops down into a booth while Robin goes to order them food. He pulls out his pod and winces when he sees his glucose level.

64 and going down. Not a good sign.

Just to be sure he pricks his finger and holy shit, he’s actually at 43. It’s at that moment, when Steve is wiping his finger with the alcohol wipe, that his phone decides to loudly beep to alert him that, “hey you’re crashing pretty hard and fast— take care of it soon!!”

Steve is rifling through his bag while Robin is already trying to rush their orders.

“Shit,” Steve mumbles to himself. “I’m out of fucking juice.”

His hands start to shake and Robin begins to freak out. Steve is always so in control of his diabetes, she’s never seen him like this. So, Robin does what any other person would do and grabs the largest blizzard she has ever seen on the online orders tray and runs over to her best friend.

“Here! Have this, I’m going to try to get you some apple juice!”

Steve just nods his head and slowly spoons some of it into his mouth.

“This tastes like shit, by the way.”

“You’re welcome, dingus. Now shut up and eat.”

The worker behind the counter comes over and starts talking to Robin after she sits in front of Steve. Steve can’t really make anything out right now since he’s trying to focus on making his hands work. But, he thinks he hears the mention of calling 911 and an ambulance.

Time passes a little slower after that. Steve somehow manages to get down enough of the ice cream that he is slowly rising again.

57 after he pricked. Thank god.

It’s at that moment that Eddie Munson, lead singer of Corroded Coffin, walks in. He went to his best friend’s, Chrissy’s, show and needed a pick-me-up after helping her lug all of her equipment back into their vehicle.

He goes over to the online orders tray and it’s empty. He doesn’t really mind waiting. He walks over to the counter and sees that the worker is extremely frantic as she sorts some shit out.

“Hey,” he starts, his fingers tapping the fake granite counter top. “Just checking, I’m here to pick up an order for Edmundo and it’s not on the tray. Do you know when it will be ready?” He flashes an awkward smile and the worker just points to the table behind him.

“We’re working on it. Your nightmare of a blizzard was needed for something else. Give us five minutes.”

Eddie nods and slowly turned around, where he sees the most gorgeous man eating his blizzard. Reluctantly, he might add. The man has on a light pink t-shirt and brown corduroy pants, thick lensed glasses sliding down his nose. The woman across from him was clad in funky colors and had a dirty blonde bob. She was talking extremely fast and gesturing with her hands a bunch.

Chrissy would love her.

He walked over and tapped the man on the shoulder.

“How’s my blizzard?”

He slowly looks up and Eddie is met with honey brown eyes and beauty marks for days. A straight nose and an angular jawline. Jesus Christ.

The woman looks like she’s about to say something, but the guy beats her to it. “It tastes like if a unicorn threw up in my mouth, but it prevented me from passing out. So… thanks.” He smiles. “I’m Steve.”

Eddie needs to become Steve’s husband immediately.

“And I’m in love.” He pauses and then sees the look of glee on Steve’s face. “EDDIE. My name is Eddie.”

“It’s nice to meet you Eddie. Are you free tomorrow?”

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New au that I thought of this morning.

Steve and Eddie meet at a convention. Thinking like a...comic-con kind of thing. Set in a modern au.

Though, it's not what you think. Steve isn't dragged there by anybody. Eddie isn't just some guy walking around the convention halls in cosplay, coming up on a cosplaying reluctantly Steve.

No, they meet in an artist alley.

Eddie is a dungeon master for an up and coming team of D&D players, think like Critical Role or Dimension 20. He just got done with a panel and a live one-shot campaign with some of his friends/co-workers. And he needed a break, so he starts to dilly-dally. Stops by the food court, picks up some subpar nachos. He takes photos with a few people who recognize him throughout the convention's halls. Stops to browse a couple booths, buys a few games for his GameBoy that he's been looking for for forever. Then, he starts to meander around the artist alley.

Steve is an artist. He got into illustration after an accident that left him a safety hazard in the sports he previously played. There was a time where he had spiraled into a deep, dark depression, no sort of light at the end of the tunnel. Then, his little brother—Dustin in this AU—starts to pester him with rambles and videos and campaign notes all about D&D. He describes to Steve the current NPCs of his campaign, he introduces him to the party members' characters, shows him games like Neverwinter, Baldur's Gate (1,2, & 3), even some other games like Final Fantasy, Skyrim, so on and so forth. Things to take his mind off of the fact that his previously loved activity has been taken from him.

Over some years, through therapy, both for his body and mind—Steve begins to pick-up art as a hobby. He starts off bad, almost wants to give up, but is reassured that everybody starts out bad. So, he works at it. He makes illustrations for the Party of demogorgons and vampire spawns, Vecna and mindflayers, their own characters. Makes fanart for games Dustin showed him; his romance path in Baldur's Gate 3 (Gale, if you're wondering. Karlach, too. And the mindflayer when he's feeling a bit more...frisky.), of Cloud from Final Fantasy, and his OCs in Skyrim (a Nord from his first run, and an Argonian the second). It used to be that he wasn't into these more "nerdy" things, but...one can be convinced, he comes to find. And also...these characters and these oddball fantasy things are way more fun to draw than anything he tried the first few times.

Twist, though, he doesn't know Eddie and his party. Doesn't know the D&D channel that Eddie's a part of. He just enjoys making D&D fanart; OCs or characters from games.

Eddie approaches Steve's little artist booth at the convention. It's small and humble, but barely anything has sold. Which shocks Eddie supremely because this guy's art is so beautiful, sometimes gorey, and a lot intriguing. He loves every little thing he spots: rough sketches of Astarion (BG3), stickers of Cloud and Sephiroth (FF), some new takes on the monsters from D&D. And he's just...over the moon with this art style.

Safe to say, he purchases a lot.

He finds that Steve is very sheepish about his work, still new to showing off his artwork, but proud of himself anyway. He also finds that Steve's very attractive. And he'd be damned if he didn't at least try to keep in touch, even if they never see each other again. At least they have some sort of social media tie or something.

So, he leaves Steve with a phone number. With the excuse of, "My channel needs an artist for our campaigns. We've been searching everywhere. And, if you're interested, I think your artwork would be perfect." But then, a moment later when he notices Steve's expression sort of...dims, oddly enough, Eddie adds, "Or...if you wanna ever just get in touch. Maybe show off your art? Maybe earn a hype man?"

In the end, Steve does join Eddie's channel to do the artwork. But also, he earns a spunky boyfriend that can share interests with him. Even sports, despite not being able to play them, he drags Eddie to baseball games any chance he gets.

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Steve glances up to ask Eddie where he wants the box in his arms when his eye catches on something, frankly absurd, and he stops in his tracks.

Eddie has taken off his jacket, which was stupid to have on to begin with, and underneath is wearing a sleeveless tank top, the bottom of which is about three inches shorter than anything Steve has seen him in.

"What the fuck?"

Eddie glances up to see him staring. "What?"

Instead of answering, Steve sets the box down and marches over to him. He grabs the bottom of Eddie's shirt and lifts it up to his armpits.

"What is happening?" Eddie asks while trying to squirm out of Steve's reach.

"Are you hot? When the fuck did this happen? You have abs, Eddie. How long have you been hot under that stupid jacket?"

"What?!" He squirms some more, this time away from Steve's poking fingers.

"You have pecs. What is happening in the universe? You're supposed to be all noodle arms and Doritos gut. This isn't right."

Eddie finally manages to get away, yanking his shirt back down and then pointing a 'stay back' finger in Steve's face. "Hey, man, I'm not a piece of meat!"

"Piece of beefcake, apparently," Steve mutters.

Eddie chokes. "What do you care? You can't be jealous, you're as hot as you've ever been."

Why does Steve care? Thwarted expectations? It can't just be that, he's practically vibrating in place, skin all hyper aware of itself.

"You think I'm hot?" He asks instead of giving Eddie an answer he doesn't have.

He scoffs.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Steve puts both hands on his hips.

"It means I'm not getting reeled in by your fishing. Can we finish moving this shit now?"

Steve stares some more. His arms aren't as big as Steve's, but the way his bicep moves under his skin as he bends to lift the box Steve dropped, it's....uh...

Uh oh.

Eddie is hot, stamps itself into the fabric of Steve's universe.

Steve turns and marches back outside. "Robin!!!!"

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@hearsegrrl brought pitcher Eddie Munson to life 🥺 thank you so so much again. He’s perfect ⚾️ 🤍

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“This is what Shakespeare would have wanted.”

“Shakespeare wouldn’t have wanted this.”

No! You’re both wrong! Shakespeare wanted one thing and one thing only. To sell tickets.

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introverted but willing to discuss about my passions

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Via Kira Knight

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“There’s nothing heroic about suffering” okay but what if I suffered and I was kinda sexy with it. Like my shorts were a little too short and you could see my ass when I bent over. What then.

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Famous tiktoker Steve who took on the "Catch my rockstar's attention" challenge and succeeded.

In the livestream, he was standing in the front row of the Corroded Coffin concert, wearing a simple black tee and snug jeans.

When the band’s frontman—Eddie Munson—sauntered over to his side of the stage, Steve winked at the camera with a "Watch me" before lifting his shirt and flashing his tits at the rockstar.

Much to the viewers’ amusement, Eddie immediately tripped on his feet and played the wrong chord.

Steve just giggled, looking pleased.

For the next several minutes, everyone watched Eddie keep returning to this side of the stage, peacocking and showing off his guitar skills.

It was almost as if he was doing a courting dance for Steve who was too charmed by it to remember answering the comments like usual.

Hours later, Steve was seen sitting in Eddie's lap with Eddie's chin hooking over his shoulder.

They both grinned at the camera as the comment section blew up and the stream started lagging due to the increasing views.

"Guys, in case you haven't caught up on it yet, we're dating."

"Uh-uh, he's the love of my life," Eddie chimed in. "My muse, really. But he's a shy little thing. So I'm gonna settle with fiancé for now."

Steve blushed at that, but still turned slightly to peck Eddie's cheek. "Love you, too, da– darling."

"Say goodbye to everyone, baby," Eddie pressed a kiss on his jaw and husked. "Don't wanna let 'em see you any more than they already did."

"Hey, be nice," Steve chided lightly.

"Just kidding," Eddie sent the camera a wink. "But yeah, we gotta go now. My boy needs to sleep soon."

As if on cue, Steve let out a teary yawn and smiled sheepishly.

Eddie just chuckled fondly.

"See you guys later," Steve waved at the camera lazily, ending his stream with 6M views.

That was how they announced their three-year relationship to the public and made it to the headlines the next day.

The golden ring on Eddie's necklace finally made sense now.

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someone suggested this crossover/au concept on twt sooooo…

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you guys are feral for silly wereshifter Steve AU and I love that

Some meatheads are calling Eddie names again. The dog that's been tailing him appears out of nowhere and makes eye contact with him as it struts over to the group and lifts his leg, pissing all over the fresh wax on their BMW with the determination and focus of a dog that hasn't been outside for the whole day.

"Hey, get your fucking dog off my car!" One of the guys jumps up, but the warning show of canines stops him from shooing the dog away himself.

Eddie shrugs, though he's restraining a smile.

"It's not mine."

Later the dog finds him again as it always does, and he makes amends.

"You are my dog though, right? My good doggie. Who's my good boy?" he asks, scratching the overjoyed dog all over its furry body.

At home, Steve asks Robin to call him a good boy when he shifts, to see if it feels as good. It doesn't. Well, it does, but not in the same way.

It comes to the point when dog Steve spends more time with Eddie than human Steve. To soak in the happiness and love Eddie shows him.

"Is Steve okay?" Eddie asks one day, petting the dog beside him while they take a break from band practice. The rest of Hellfire is hanging out in the garage, with Mike jumping on every opportunity to learn guitar from Jeff and the rest usually following.

"Yeah?" Dustin cocks his head. "Why wouldn't he be?"

"I don't know." Eddie shrugs. "Haven't seen him in a while and you're never mentioning him anymore."

Dustin looks at the dog.

"He's fine. You're overthinking it."

Eddie thinks that might be it, but...

"I know we're not friends-friends but I don't even see him in passing! Hell, Buckley is there to hang out, and he's not!"

Dustin throws his hands up in the air, annoyed with the questions.

"Don't ask me, man! Ask him yourself! And, to be honest," he crosses his arms, glaring at the dog, for some reason. "I don't understand what's going on with him either."

Eddie frowns, looks at the dog that huffs loudly, and looks away with a grunt. He pats its fluffy fur.

"How am I supposed to ask him if he's never here?" he sighs. "I don't want to just corner him at his place."

Dusting looks at him like he failed elementary two times, not high school.

"There's this thing called phones?"

"Oh. Right."

"Jesus it's like you'd die without me."

"Well..."

"Not what I meant!" Dustin goes pale instantly, mortified by his own words.

"I know, kid." Eddie pulls his head down in reassurance and leans into a side hug. "Don't worry."

-----

"He's not picking up," he tells the dog while biting at a hangnail. "Maybe he's at work?" He wonders out loud and goes to the magazine pile on the coffee table. The dog struts behind him. He rummages through the papers under its watchful eye until he finds the Family Video pamphlet. He runs back to the phone with it and dials the number on the back.

"Hi, I'm looking for Steve? Oh, hi Buckley. Do you know if he's home? Okay. Can you tell him to call me when he's free? No, I just wanted to ask him something. Thanks. Bye."

When he hangs up, he's alone in the room.

"Buddy?"

There's a bark from the front of the trailer.

"Sure, sorry!"

He runs up to open the door for the dog already waiting there. But before it leaves, it nuzzles up into his hand, the wet nose and hesitance to leave reassuring Eddie that he'll be back sooner or later. He smiles at the dog, giving him one last scratch between the ears.

"Such a good boy. See you later, buddy."

----

Steve calls him not even an hour later.

"Eddie?" He sounds out of breath.

"Steve, hi!" He's relieved to hear him and suddenly realizes he doesn't remember the last time they actually talked. "Has Buckley talked to you already?"

"No?"

"Dustin then?"

"No- ah, yeah! He's mentioned you wanted to talk."

He's a bit disappointed Steve hasn't thought to reach out himself but it's better than nothing.

"Yeah, I Haven't seen you in a while, man. What have you been up to?"

"Uh, you know, just... This and that. Doing a lot of... Running. Exercises. You know."

Eddie doesn't know, but he's willing to nod along to keep the conversation going.

"Yeah, totally, you've been busy. Do you want to hang out maybe? Movie night, or, or..." He tries to come up with anything they could do together. "I got a new strain of weed we could test?" He offers.

Steve laughs at that, genuine and relaxed and Eddie relaxes at the sound himself.

"Sure, why not? Is tonight alright? I have a day off anyway."

Eddie's not prepared mentally and neither is his room but he agrees immediately.

"Sure, come over anytime."

"Okay I'll take a shower and I'm off."

When they meet up, everything seems normal. For about fifteen minutes.

Steve jumps whenever Eddie touches him, and his face is red, making Eddie look at him worriedly and ask if he's alright.

But all Steve can think about is “good boy” and belly scratches. When his leg twitches when Eddie touches his shoulder, he jumps off the couch, mortified by his body's reactions.

"Do you have a dog?!" he almost yells, looking around in panic.

Eddie blinks at him.

"Uh, no?" But then he frowns. "I mean, there is a dog," he corrects, and his brows crease in worry. "Wait, are you allergic?"

"Yes!" Steve points his finger at him. "I gotta go, man, sorry, I'm itching all over," he spits out fast, walking backward toward the exit and almost running into a wall. "But it was great seeing you, uh, bye!"

The doors slam shut and Eddie's left alone and confused, the reality show host still yelling from the screen.