grumblewumble-the-archmagos

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

With her evil mind powers the Justicar Paramonous has placed a SINGLE LEGO on your floor. Not telling you where Ψ( ｀▽´ )Ψ

I curse thee, unfortunately charming and bewitched devil. I know not why I’ve been assaulted so while I simply study in my chambers but this will not be the last of our interactions. GETTING YOU GETTING YOU GETTING YOU.

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

You will never find me

Ohohohohohohoho but I will… sooner or later my scrying eye will find you all.

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

PUNY WORM YOU DARE CALL YOURSELF A WIZARD!!!! YOUR FEEBLE ATTEMPTS CANNOT COMPARE TO MY TRUE MAGIC! MUAHAHAHAHA BEHOLD, I CURSE YOU WITH 🧙‍♂️🪄≡=—✧ a mild headache but ibuprofen doesn't work and it's been two days and you're cranky

Stinky little man doesn’t understand what is CROSSING THE LINE. I will find you. Your toes have never known a stubbing quite like the spell I have concocted for you.

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

Me looking at the innocent man servant I hired for 2 bucks and an onion as I am about to prove that the Japanese proverb about the duck is not all that “Farfetch’d.”

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

Wanted to scry on my friend @the-gnomish-bastard real quick and have come to the conclusion that he IS ABSOLUTELY CAKED UP. Pookie, if I knew you were carrying all that ass around with you, I could’ve made a minimize potion for you or something.

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

There is a level 1 bard who will not stop free style rapping at me because I was nice to him while I was at the bar. Wtf do I do? We are out in public, I can’t just chain lightning him. This is bullshit.

Now he wants to watch me follow him on NoiseNimbus :,(

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

Buwomp :(

*to the tune of sweet Caroline*

SWEET HOMICIDE

*gunshot gunshot gunshot*

WIZARDS NEVER SEEMED SO DEAD

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

Just learnt of space clowns..

Being under the classification of a fiend that means these beings are entirely capable of creating their own Tiefling.

Now on one hand, evil bad thing that needs to be decimated and thrown into the nearest black hole.

On the other hand, I do have my permit…….

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

I see you. I acknowledge your effort and believe it to be admirable @pissfartpete . On the other hand, I’m a silly little guy and have a reputation to uphold. If my body is the price I pay for success then so be it. When I have what I want, the Aeons themselves will shiver at my gentle caress upon the multiverse.

Your friend,

Grumble Wumble

Xoxo :)))

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

To acknowledge the existence of power words is to open oneself to the wonder of power sentences. Now I know that sounds crazy but I just want you to sit on this bench and listen to what I have to sa-

FOOL, YOU ARE NOW BOWL OF PETUNIAS!!!!!

like and comment if you enjoy turning your friends into a bowl of petunias >:)

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

The fun part about being a part of a Society full of other nerds who partake in Creative Anachronism is that I can grab their attention with a message like this and they will forever be cursed with the information that I am among them without them knowing. (Other than you, friend.)

Like the lightning from Pennsic 50, I am of an otherworldly thunder, my presence is familiar yet so otherworldly due to its severity.

Now excuse me while I go back into my tower to mull over what my next post will be.

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

The real reason people are against the grandeur of the 5G towers is because the veil of mystery around them. Of course when the humanoids (not me tbh) don’t understand something, the immediate reaction is to feel fearful or curious, driving them to destroy so many beautiful things that could have driven them FURTHER.

No longer, my friends.

I, as an emissary of the towers, am here reveal the truth behind our cause. To do this I require you conjure forth the courage and imagine the letter “W.” A simple letter, I know, but when combined with the public name of the towers, the truth is thrusted forth.

“5GW”

That’s right, isn’t it crazy? The truth was locked behind a simple letter of the common English alphabet. In layman’s terms for those who are having trouble in the back asking “what are you even talking about, you trash man!!” I’ll put it simply.

ITS 5 GAY WIZARDS. THATS RIGHT BABY!!!!! THEY ARE KISSING IN THEIR TOWER AND YOU CANT HAVE ANY. WE’RE SENDING RADIOACTIVE GAY BEAMS UPON YOU!!! DEATH BE UPON THOSE WHO OPPOSE OUR GREAT REIGN! NOW EXCUSE ME WHILE I TELL MY BOYFRIEND, THROCKMORTIUS THE PELVERIZER, HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!❤️💕💘💖💕💖💕💗♥️💘💕💞💖💖💕♥️💞❤️💖

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

This was a wonderful bonding experience. Love you, Boo.

The more of you that follow me, the more powerful I become. And the more idiotic I become as well. Stop. Please. I don’t like this attention. It makes me feel like some of you are plotting to betray me…

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

Nyehehehehe I see the spell is working. I’ll get you yet, wee bastard.

The more of you that follow me, the more powerful I become. And the more idiotic I become as well. Stop. Please. I don’t like this attention. It makes me feel like some of you are plotting to betray me…

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

Fool, that you are, for this hex is capable of torture that rivals even the abyssal depths of Hell. BEHOLD! The Dan Schneider-verse Hex! You will be sent to his dimension. Your tootsies will be tickled and featured on a television show advertised for prepubescent children. Pray to your Gods that they will spare you of the ketchup that descends upon your phalanges, for Dan will not.

Reblog to hex the person you reblogged this from.

Bonus points if you describe what the hex does >:)

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

Help there’s an edgy little gay boy (Rogue+Bard Multi-class) and he won’t stop monologuing in the dark corners of my sanctum. I tried shooing it with a broom but then it started giving me the eyes and talking about how no one will love it…. Do I keep it? I don’t know what to do with this.

[grumblewumble-the-archmagos]

I-…. Is this an advertisement for a patron? Is this actually just a devil trying to blunt their way into getting a warlock??

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