grubbypebbles

[grubbypebbles]

[grubbypebbles]

Ive been thinking abt this one a lot bc ive also struggled w being a relentless contrarian forever which ive been working on for a while and i think part of it comes from a need to feel heard. Not to say i dont fail to connect with a lot of things that are popular (cus i really do) but like. I have to ask myself if i really hate x popular thing or if i just wanna feel novel and different bc ive felt left out since birth. And if it turns out to be the second option the challenge now is to come up with a way stupider opinion instead of a negative one. "The Beatles suck" is out. "The Beatles are good actually" is out. "The Beatles were a psyop used to control women" is in. "The Beatles are a hoax like the moon landing and Tylenol" is in

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stop telling trans girls that "it's okay to be a feminine man" and start saying it to "cis" girls with a little bit of a fujoshi vibe instead. would have saved me years.

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Even the most secular of those in the west even Reddit atheists schismd off of colonial Christianity in their behavior and thought patterns we are allowed to do it different

So, you know how certain Christian missionaries are trained to act in a very obnoxious way, so that most people they preach to will reject them outright, so they feel like the world hates them for being Christian and they can only be friends with fellow Christians? You know that thing?

I think as activists, we sometimes need to stop and ask ourselves whether we're acting like those missionaries. I think this type of behavior is a little more ingrained into our society than some of us realize, and some of us have internalized it without realizing what it's actually meant to do.

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Queer nature fucks.

"homosexuality is unnatural! there's only two genders! it's a sin-"

I'm sorry, have you seen NATURE???

ALSO THE ARTIST IS HUMON, FIND THEM AT HUMONCOMICS.COM!! was so sure I had included that but apparently I forgot, so sorry!

and there's so many more species than this that exhibit homosexuality, varying genders, etc. SO! MANY!

it's very much a natural thing. it always has been. unfortunately, while homosexuality is found in many species, homophobia is only found in one

EDIT: added a keep reading cause this is a long post lol

EDIT: everyone in the comments needs to shut up or I will turn comments off, stop arguing, jeez

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So there is a lot of bad stuff going on right now, and I'm sure there are lots of people feeling hopeless and thinking of suicide. Well, I've been suicidal for 21 years and I have a few practical pieces of advice for surviving that I rarely see in other places but I think have done more to keep me off the ledge than almost anything.

1. Don't feel guilty for wanting to kill yourself. Life can be extremely painful, and you are not weak, a coward, or irrational for considering the obvious way to alleviate that pain. Guilt on top of the rest of your pain will not help, and you are not a bad person. You are going to have to tell yourself this a lot.

2. If you think you might do it, find an excuse to live. This is different from a reason to live in that it is short term and shallow. For years my excuse was that I still had enough money to buy a pizza and I'd be damned if I didn't get my last pizza before I died, and if i still wanted to kill myself after the pizza then I had lost nothing. I swear this kept me alive through some of the hardest years of my life.

3. If you have an online friend you can trust, ask if they would be willing to do check in duty occasionally on your worst nights. It's very simple, on bad days where hurting yourself is a real possibility, ask your friend if they can send you a message at regular intervals, say 15 or 20 minutes, confirming that you are safe. It can be as simple as "check?", with you responding "I'm ok". Being immediately held accountable makes not doing it so much easier. I asked a friend to help me like this about two weeks ago to deal with a really bad self harm day and the difference between trying to do it on your own and simple check ins is astounding. It hurts so much less.

4. You die with nothing left on the table. This is for when it's over and you are going to kill yourself. You have a plan, you are ready, and you want to. At this point you are effectively dead. Which means there are no consequences. You can finally do the thing that you were always too scared to do. Maybe it's quitting your job, or confessing to your crush. For me it was coming out as trans. This is your last ditch effort, so if it blows up in your face and ruins everything it is no loss because your plan will still work tomorrow. You were already dead anyway, who cares if you left behind a bit more chaos.

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Time.

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The three stages of cis allyship:

I understand that you are a girl*

I understand that you are a girl

I understand that you are a girl*

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people are so excited to police transmisogynised identity. ill make this quick! there are trans women who call themselves femboys for work, and femboys who call themselves trans women for work. personal identification is not the basis of our oppression. it is no ground for any worthwhile transfeminist solidarity. if youre so eager to hop on theorising oppression tiers of transmisogynised microgenders, i actually dont trust you to wait to find out that someone “really” (whatever that means) is a trans woman, whatever she calls herself for survival. screw your head on.

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I wanna add to this… I think the material analysis is very tangibly important and matters in terms of material security, safety, and the shape of tangible interpersonal dynamics.

Because this anon’s desires at any given time, in self id theory of gender, reflects their True Gender most accurately (that self id in itself is based on the gender-wielder’s desires). The desire to be a gender also reflects your deepest sameness with the many cisgender people of that same variety, as anyone content with their gender or identity mostly wants to simply “do” their personal gender, and do it well.

This reflects a deeper truth about someone’s desires and sense of self. Even if it shifts over time and maybe even “appears the same” externally. I’d hazard to say there’s more to it

The physical layer of gender is the material effect. But the relationship the anon has with their gender at any given time has a very real relationship to their desires, inner world, and values (even if “only” aesthetic values, the value of truth to their most comfortable gendered self at that moment), so perhaps they should consider what their subjective experience with gender dynamics FEELS like at any given time.

This experience as a body-mind conversation CAN also affect their material reality, based on presentation, outwardly expressed desires, etc.

To trust what comes natural, they can maybe ask, what dynamics feel like they weigh on you right now? What dynamics feel good inside? What gender(s) do you feel? How is that affirmed right now? How are they related? Where do you feel you fit right now in this grand gender scheme, and how can you fit in a way that affirms you and aligns with your values today? What pains you right now, and what feels happy right now?

Sometimes oppressive dynamics can reproduce inside the experience of your mind. Sometimes cracking open the dynamics to explore them internally can liberate different parts of yourself. Don’t be afraid to get creative! Another important but maybe hard to parse question to ask might be, as my gender experiences change over time, what about my beliefs (about anything) inside change alongside them?

Why?

Dig in. You have depths to explore.

Maybe this can answer some of their confusion on a level that isn’t simply material, but instead more spiritual, emotional, and internally affective. Such a set of questions must be really intense for someone with both a discrete and overlapping experience of multiple genders across time, I empathize!

Something I'm having a hard time understanding in the framework of privilege and power is being multi-gendered. Do I have male privilege if I sometimes ID as a trans man and other times as a butch woman? I thought the answer would become clear as I got older and "decided what I was" but it's become increasingly clear that I'm both depending on the day or just the angle I look at myself from. I'm comfortable with that in my personal life but it places me outside of these conversations (or in multiple conflicting places?) and it's a bit of a mindfuck when trying to make sense of how I relate to all of these structures. I sense others also don't know what to do with me and avoid the topic at all costs, or worse, try to convince me that I'm confused about my identity in order to make me easier to digest. The stupid transandro shit has really muddied the waters as well, a few years ago I felt like we were moving towards being able to have a constructive conversation about it as a community but we've taken some massive steps back. Basically I feel like Schrodinger's masc

I think this confusion reflects that you, like a lot of us, were likely enculturated to understand oppression as a matter of personal identity when it is instead systemic and material in nature. Your oppression does not flow out of your head or your heart. It is enacted on you from the outside by legal, social, and economic systems that operate in a series of observable ways. How you personally feel or self describe doesn't functionally matter a ton one way or the other. What matters at the end of the day is the violence that gets deployed against you by the state, the threats that are levied at you by an employer, the consequences that you face should you fail to adhere to social norms correctly, the resources you can or cannot access from a doctor, the wealth you have access to or do not have access to, the people that you have the power to use the police, psychiatrists, social workers, or the forces of mass social rejection against, and so on.

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follow me on mychart

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if it helps nothing is permitted. you arent allowed to do anything. everything you do will always be able to be interpreted as, and therefore is, wrong. youre going to hurt people. you are going to manipulate people. youre going to fuck up. so what rules do you want to break? how do you want to be wrong? what kind of harm are you okay with doing to a person? what kind of manipulation is true to you? what kind of fuck up do you want to be? how do you make peace with the violence implicit in living? start there.

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😵‍💫

There needs to be more forcemasc storied involving the evil nefarious twink archetype. Not as the end result of the forcemasc but the Machiavellian string-puller behind masculinization. Forcing beautiful cishet girls, fabulous femmes, and rival twinkish guys into "proper" manhood, often for banal and petty reasons.

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dyslexic scholars, disorganized archivists, high-contrast photographers, producers with inadequate equipment, shortsighted mystics, placid hallucinators, pedestrians in empty parking lots, compulsive scribes, those whose work is poisoning them, indecisive traitors, prison tattooers, bored waitresses, new world geologists, functional alcoholics in useless professions, filename poets, amateur degenerates, anyone whose pet is really weird, street sweepers, those whose holidays are celebrated ironically, paranoiacs who have been right one single miraculous time, patchy shavers, sloppy conspirators, honest teachers, failed influencers, those wearing too many layers on a warm day, unqualified translators, prisoners making good use of their time, mendacious cartographers, generous bartenders, and so on, and so forth

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that onion headline that's like "whatever. the emo kids are all sitting on each other's lap" is their realest one yet