growmyspirit

[growmyspirit]

MR. FORWARD

Mr. Forward walks into a shop. The shopkeeper points to the left and says, ‘Straight Forwards.’

Mr. Forward glances in the direction and proceeds onwards.

What is his mission?

His mission is to become a man. His mission is to evolve beyond. His mission, they say, is of his own choosing. How poorly cruel? How wonderfully wicked?

His mission, some say, is of the Creator Himself. What a mission, if only one could see. How to not choose, floundering in the unknown, not knowing where to go, not understanding a yes from a no, distrusting the hand which leads to growth?

It’s hard, it’s brutal, it’s difficult choosing. Let choice slide and glide from pangs of comfortable desires.

It’s hard to know where to go….

To grow, they say, we are created.

Is purpose written on the chalkboard or is it our job to draw?

If it is written, it is by He. Where can we go to find Him?

Where must one look?

I have seen Him in Self, but have not found Him. So, the only way onwards is Forward.

‘Out there!’ they say, ‘Look, He’s out there!’

‘Where?!’ I say, ‘Where does he stand? Where does He sit, where does He watch, and what does He say out loud?’

What do you look for? With the eyes of your soul.

With ears that do listen to light waves rolled over.

Smells that dispel of old thoughts,

Comfort in cold, fearful of hot.

Knowing not, the value of move, cherish the mental attitude of flourish and release.

Follow passion, you’re unique.

A straight focus gaze, through the haze. And you will find more.

��FORWARDS!’ Cries Mr. Forward.

[growmyspirit]

Welcome

My name is Joseph Daniel Muzzin. Welcome to my blog, Growing My Spirit.

I have arrived at the conclusion, through a difficult, challenging, and enlightening personal experience, that I don’t have the answers to anything.

I’m not who I was, and never knew who I wanted to be. I passively approached my life, embracing the people and situations closest in proximity. I took no pleasure in directing my experience towards anything I truly desired, and spent no time reflecting on what those desires might be.

Only once presented with some information on self discovery and growth did I begin to transform my life. I’ve realized, years later, my methods and approach to the concept of growth were satiated in self-centeredness, ego, and disempowering beliefs. My efforts did not produce the results I had asked for. I was frustrated with the time spent ‘growing’, not seeing or feeling any drastic differences.

Along the way, I shared the best advice I could with those I loved most. Most of those individuals showed absolutely no interest.

I was continually devastated at my lack of ability to help others change. I could not help others as effectively as I had hoped. I had yet to achieve the success I desired in my own life, so my defectiveness as a teacher and preacher was somewhat predictable.

What I have learned, is to look beyond the surface level of words that are spoken, and develop an ability called discernment. Recognizing the true space others are coming from. Is it positive, is it supporting a higher self, authentically, or, is it negative, backwards looking, stale, judgemental, and riddled with doubt.

This blog is not written to convince anyone of their true state. It is written to document my own experiences growing my spirit, and provide an open, honest forum for others who have consciously decided to create the highest life experience for themselves, even if they cannot yet imagine what it looks like. Or feels like.

And that, is truly, the basis of all growth. Centering and grounding oneself in their own feelings. Detaching from unbridaled emotional reactions, and developing a sense of control, utilizing emotions in a directed, intentional manner.

So, if you’re just beginning the path of self discovery, or you’ve been activated for years, this blog is to share honest experiences and build a community of conscious contributors.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is to utilize the building blocks of role models. I’ve recently committed to my first collection of individuals I aspire to be like; those who represent the qualities I desire for myself. My selections include Tony the Truth Robbins, Gary Vaynerchuck, Iyanla Vanzant, François-Henri Pinault, Celine Dion, and Floyd Mayweather.  Each individual represents different qualities and characteristics I desire in order to achieve my goals. Spiritual, Financial, Emotional, and Physical.

We are each unique, capable of cultivating any combination of characteristics we desire. The uniqueness of each person, the affinity of our similarities and acknowledgement of our differences defines this wonderful oneness of experience we call life.

I’ll end this post by asking, who are some of the individuals on the planet You aspire to be like? Who are some incredible role models that represent the best of certain qualities, living examples of our potential for greatness? I invite you to share some of your favorites here so we may all benefit from new discoveries.

Thank you for this opportunity to share, and I look forwards to learning about some amazing people on our planet. One day, it may be us on someone’s list, if we choose to be more, and grow everyday.

[growmyspirit]

The FLÅCETT

The FLÅCETT (’floss-it’) is a painting that took me 6 months to create.

For the past year, I had been introduced to journaling. Free-form writing, from the soul, with no purpose other than to clear my mind and see what or who I was inside.

I enjoyed the process very much. The simple act of free writing was one of the most joyous experiences of my life.

The time had come to traverse from the pages to the paint, a different description of the same mind. What would come out? What was inside?

I painted a few small paintings to practice. I was happy with how they came out.

I had just moved, and knew that this new home, this new city, would pull a new picture from me. I didn’t know what it would be…

...only that it would be big.

One day I was scribbling in my day planner and started to experiment with a single pattern. The pattern developed from the question, ‘How can I utilize all 4 playing card suits in the same frame? And what would it mean?”

Cards are legendary, wholesome, activated. There must be great power in their design. Together, collected, connected, I feel there is a wholeness and a feeling of infinite pathways to follow.

To accentuate depth and the intrinsic repetition of pattern, the diamond sits in a diamond. Who knows what lays inside of the blackness? Maybe the same as the pattern in light, if viewed from a different perspective.

One question became two, became more than 4, and the creative process continued.

This was my first time constructing anything of this size, other than an ego. Trying to tape an equal square, I felt as an under-qualified kindergartner, knowing my lines would be crooked. I came to appreciate the imperfectness of the shapes.

They say there is no perfect circle. In only two dimensions, it cannot exist without over or under looping itself in our radiating environment. In, or out. Constant fluidity.

My shapes represent a balance of structure and flow. At least that’s what I told myself when my measurements were ‘off’.

I loved painting and I loved overcoming the challenge. I set up an artist’s studio in the empty garage and claimed the space as my own. When it rained, I ran out to throw protective towel dikes around the cardboard base, protecting my painting from the ‘flow’ of the outdo’.

To prepare for a painting session, I would light a candle, light some incense, light some sage, and walk around the painting to bless the space. Then, I would turn on some classical/meditative/jazz/hip hop/house/nu-disco music and go to work.

Sometimes I would paint in silence.

Sometimes I would paint for 10 minutes, sometimes for hours. I found that varied painting strokes developed into what best can be described as amateur hieroglyphics. I started to use the painting as calligraphy class, no lessons except the attempted acceptance of natural pattern.

I reached into the air to pull patterns and hoped they would combine in straight lines. Why I hoped this, I don’t know, but I found it freeing not to think about the meaning of what I was ‘writing’, only that I was indeed expressing something natural, external as of moments ago.

As my painting progressed, calligraphy class continued, and I experimented with the concept of expressing a singular focused feeling through free form shape.

I was finished with the painting, left with white lines. My original vision was always for the painting to double as a road map. This map needed directional streets, so I added regular writing. To me, the infinite pathways of the connected shapes are balanced by a concrete, singular pathway of the words. The hieroglyphics serve as an intermediary, while all of the above remain invisible if one chooses to see only a painting.

I was happy when I put on the final touches.  I spent the next three weeks adding more ‘final touches’. There are many torments to overcome as an artist. I was grateful for the opportunity to battle these demons. Many are now presented on paper, no longer present or a priority...

...Until we meet again, for the next expressive test.

I am proud to say, I tried my best.

Joseph Daniel Muzzin