groundillusion

[groundillusion]

I AM SINGLE AGAIN THANK GOD I BEEN TRYING TO BREAK UP WITH THIS CHICK FOR OVER A FUCKING YEAR

BUT IT FELT LIKE I WAS DESTROYING HER LIKE IF WE SPLIT SHE WOULD DIE SO I HAD TO DRAG THIS SHIT OUT AND BASICALLY MAKE HER HATE ME NOT REALLY THATS NOT WHAT I TRIED TO DO I WISH HER THE BEST I REALLY DO SHE WILL NOT WISH THE BEST FOR ME NO SHE HOPES I STAY SINGLE AND REGRET BREAKING UP WITH HER AND JUST BECOME LONELY AND MISERABLE AND THAT WOULD BRING HER JOY I KNOW THIS FOR A FACT DESPITE KNOWING THIS I STILL HOPE SHE FINDS HAPPINESS SOON I WOULD NEVER WISH BAD THINGS TO HAPPEN TO HER EVEN IF THE ROLES WE'RE REVERSED. BUT I LEARNED A LOT I COMPLETELY LOST MY CREATIVITY ABOUT A YEAR AGO BUT SOON I'LL HAVE IT BACK TIMES 10 AND I CAN FINALLY WRITE ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS I COULDN'T WRITE ABOUT WITH HER AND THAT IS COMPLETELY MY FAULT I GOT TO LEARN TO LEAVE SOME PEOPLE IN GOD'S HANDS AND QUIT MAKING OTHER PEOPLE'S BURDENS MY OWN I'M BURDENED WITH ENOUGH AS IT IS MY INTUITION IS SPOT ON AND I SHOULD HAVE WENT WITH WHAT IS WAS TELLING ME EVERY TIME BUT I DIDN'T AND THAT MADE EVERYTHING ELSE CONFUSING AND CHAOTIC BECAUSE I KNEW WHAT TO DO BUT DIDN'T DO IT AND INSTEAD TOOK ON A LOT MORE BULLSHIT THAN I SHOULD HAVE GOING OUT OF MY WAY TRYING TO HELP AND PLEASE PEOPLE WHO WASN'T WORTH IT BECAUSE THEY WOULDN'T DO THE SAME FOR ME. I JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST. THIS IS SOMEWHERE NO ONE SHE KNOWS WILL SEE IT SHE WONT SEE IT JUST CERTAIN ONES THAT ARE WATCHING IN OTHER WORDS THIS WON'T NEGATIVELY SCAR HER OR PUBLICLY HUMILIATE HER BECAUSE NO ONE SHE KNOWS WILL SEE THIS HURTING HER IS NEVER MY INTENTION BUT I HAVE TO MAKE BETTER DECISIONS HERE ON OUT AND START PUTTING MYSELF FIRST. EVERYONE SHOULD PUT THEMSELVES FIRST IN THERE LIFE IF YOU DON'T YOU WILL NEVER BE A WINNER. CHEERS. 🍷 WE BASICALLY HAVE BEEN ROOMMATES WITH BENIFITS FOR THE PAST YEAR I BROKEN UP WITH HER A DOZEN TIMES KICKED HER OUT SHE WOULD JUST COME BACK AND LET HER STAY TRYING TO GIVE HER TIME TO GET HERSELF TOGETHER COME UP SOME KIND OF PLAN TO MOVE SHE JUST WOULDN'T DO IT AND I CARE ABOUT HER AND HER WELL-BEING SO THIS DRUG OUT SO I DIDN'T CHEAT ON HER BUT TO ME I BEEN SINGLE FOR THE PAST YEAR SPIRITUALLY PHYSICALLY I STILL HAD HER ATTACHED I HAD TO PAINFULLY SLOWLY PRY HER OFF. I'M SORRY PEOPLE I REALLY AIN'T AS COLD HEARTED AS FUCKING PEOPLE TRY TO MAKE ME OUT TO BE.