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this  blog  is  going  to  be  archived .  new  blog  can  be  found  here .

[griefslaintm-a-blog]

this  blog  is  going  to  be  archived .  new  blog  can  be  found  here .

[griefslaintm-a-blog]

this  blog  is  going  to  be  archived .  new  blog  can  be  found  here .

[griefslaintm-a-blog]

this  blog  is  going  to  be  archived .  new  blog  can  be  found  here .

[griefslaintm-a-blog]

this  blog  is  going  to  be  archived .  new  blog  can  be  found  here .

[griefslaintm-a-blog]

this  blog  is  going  to  be  archived .  new  blog  can  be  found  here .

[griefslaintm-a-blog]

COGNITIVE ASSESSMENT  

BOLD what your muse experiences then tag your mutuals to do the same! Please repost. Do NOT reblog!

Alcoholism. Amnesia. Anxiety. Appetite Loss. Binge Eating. Co-Dependence. Cynicism. Defensiveness. Denial. Depersonalization. Depression. Derealization. Devaluation. Displacement. Dissociation. Drug Abuse. Dysphoria. Emotional Detachment. Flashbacks. Flat Affect. Guilt. Hallucinations. Hypersomnia. Hypervigilance. Hypochondria. Idealization. Insomnia. Intellectualization. Introjection. Isolation. Low Self Esteem. Narcissism. Night Terrors. Obsessive Compulsion. Overeating. Panic Attacks. Passive Aggression. Paranoia. Phobias. Projection. Psychosis. Rationalization. Regression. Repression. Restrictive Eating. Risky Sex. Self -Harm. Somatization. Splitting. Sublimation. Suicidal Ideation. Sleepwalking.Suppression. Thousand Yard Stare. Triggers. Trust Issues. Violence. Whiplash Temper.

Tagged by: stolen from @daayaan Tagging: you

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orumad‌:

     Well, she’s not wrong. Kennedy, as always, had been aggressive and determined. It was her who had made the first move, provoked Sam. But she never thought it would happen like this. Never did it occur to her that she would be jolted awake by subconscious images of Sam’s blood staining her hands. There was a time when Kennedy was untouchable. The First could set her aside as useless, a waste of time. But now she has a weak spot.

“I know. I know you would’ve,” her eyes remain at Sam’s clavicle, unwilling to meet her gaze. She’s a good person, a good Slayer. But the hero thing gets fuzzy when love clouds judgement. “We need clear heads,” it sounds like she’s mostly talking to herself, until she finally finds Sam’s eye, holds her around the shoulders. “Listen– you told me you weren’t going anywhere. You remember that? You said you’d make it, we both will. Tell me that again, Sam. I need to hear it.”

bitterness  plants  its  seed .  towards  kennedy ,  towards  their  circumstance .  towards  her  own  life .  it’s  all  one  big  shit  show ,  huh ?  nothing  goes  right  anymore .  there’s  no  peace ,  no  sanctuary .  if  sam  could  find  the  energy  to  fight  and  keep  crying ,  she  would .  but  what’s  the  point ?  she  can  sob  and  beg  all  she  wants ,  but  kennedy’s  mind  is  made  up .  sam  knows  better  than  to  try .  fuck  it .

tears  dry  and  jaw  works ,  grinding  left  to  right  before  clenching .  sam  stares  right  through  kennedy .  appears  to  have  shut  down .  barely  responds  when  grabbed  and  spoken  to .  the  request  makes  her  flick  her  gaze  to  brown  eyes ,  but  it  doesn’t  focus .  “ we  should  get  back . “  hands  are  shrugged  off  and  sam  steps  away ,  adjusting  the  jacket  she’d  haphazardly  thrown  on  on  her  way  out  the  summers’  residence  .

the  door  to  the  magic  box  opens  and  buffy  walks  in ,  all  cold  body  language  and  disappointment .  no  doubt ,  she’ll  have  lectures  ready  for  the  both  of  them .  sam  offers  her  a  nod  then  heads  past  her ,  disregarding  kennedy’s  presence .

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i  might  remake  sam  on  a  new  blog .

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“Why, Universe, did you decide I was strong enough to handle this?”

— skipthisvoid (via hawksvane)

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reblog this if you actually like following me.

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orumad‌:

    It clicks in Kennedy’s head. She’s checking for the First. Boy, wouldn’t that make it all really simple. It makes it even more painful, the fact that she has to confirm, assure Sam the words are her own. Lips pursed together, she understands it’s a move she has to make with utmost certainty. They’re going to survive, both of them, but they can only do it when there are no distractions. Kennedy takes the side of Sam’s jaw, skin-to-skin, and seals a kiss to her forehead. From there she levels her eyes with her counterpart’s. “You have to understand what I’m saying. You have to get why.”

the touch  returns  warmth  to  sam’s  bones .  kennedy’s  alive .  kennedy’s  fine .  kennedy’s  solid  and  corporeal in  font  of  her .  but  kennedy’s  also  breaking  her  heart .  how  could  she  do  this ?  what’s  going  through  her  head  to  make  her  think  this  is  a  good  idea ?  sam  needs  her .  she  needs  the  distraction .  kennedy  gives  her  reason .  and  sure ,  maybe  it’s  unhealthy .  maybe  sam’s  been  piling  on  too  much  pressure ?  but  what  else  does  she  have ?  WHAT DOES SHE HAVE ?  “ you  did  this . “

anger  and  grief  churn  and  fight  for  dominance .  sam  wants  to  beg ,  but  also  wants  to  punish .  kennedy  could  have  just  let  her  stew .  left  it  is  a  stupid  fucking  crush .  but  no ,  she  didn’t .  she  wormed  her  way  in  like  a  fucking  virus ,  and  now  she  wants  to  cut  off  the  supply ?  sam  chokes  back  the  pressure  building  in  her  throat .  in  her  eyes .  “ stop  it .  i  know  you  don’t  want  this .  i  would  have  done  the  same  thing  for  the  others .  you  don’t  think  i  would  have  run  here  for  rona ?  or  vi ?  fuck  you .  fuck  you !  who  do  you  think  i  am ? “

   “ you’re  not  doing  this  to  me . “

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independent  vampire  slayer  oc  from  btvs  lore .  loved  by  badger .

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basics      !

NAME      :     badger . AGE      :      twenty-seven .  (  i’m  old  as  balls . ) PRONOUNS      :      she      /      her. ZODIAC   SIGN      :      aries . TAKEN   OR   SINGLE      :      single  and  ready  to  NOT  mingle .

three   facts      !

ONE      :    i’m  a  vegetarian  who’s  working  on  becoming  vegan .  veganism  is  my  ultimate  goal ,  but  i’m  fucked  over  by  non  dairy  free  chocolate .  haven’t  eaten  meat  or  cheese  or  drank  milk  since  march  this  year .  go  me ,  right ? TWO      :      i’m  as  tofu  obsessed  as  sam  is . THREE      :     badgers  are  my  favourite  animal ,  and  i’m  also  a  hufflepuff .  so  the  nickname  is  pretty  apt ,  huh ?

experience      !

PLATFORMS      USED      :     just  tumblr .  used  to  rp  on  aol  and  aim ,  though .  and  had  a  very  brief  experience  with  messageboard  based  rp .  spoiler  alert ,  i  hated  it .

muse  preference      !

FEMALE   OR   MALE      :     female  or  non  binary .  tumblr  needs  more  lesbians  and  i  intend  to  play  them . LEAST   FAVORITE   FACE(S)      :     dylan  o’brien ,  jensen  ackles ,  pretty  much  most  popular  male  fcs .  i’ll  rp  opposite  them ,  but  i  hate  the  culture  that  follows  them . MULTI   OR   SINGLE      :     single .  but  i’ll  rp  opposite  multis  with  no  issue .

writing   preference      !

FLUFF      /      ANGST      /      SMUT      :     all  of  it .  give  me  allllll  of  it .  i’m  a  special  sucker  for  angst .  why  else  would  i  rp   a  vampire  slayer ? PLOT      /      MEMES      :    i’m  more  of  a  meme  and  freestyle .  if  i  wanna  start  something ,  i’ll  send  a  meme  and  go  from  there .  plotting’s   fun  too  ,  though .  in  the  right  circumstances .

TAGGED      BY      :     tagged  by  @orumad

TAGGING      :   YOU !!

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he can’t help you. nor faith, nor your friends, certainly not your wanna-slay brigade. none of those girlies will ever know real power unless you’re dead. you know the drill:

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“You think you can fight me?  I'm not a demon, little girl.  I am something that you can't even conceive. The First Evil. Beyond sin, beyond death. I am the thing the darkness fears. You'll never see me, but I am everywhere. Every being, every thought, every drop of hate--”  ―The First Evil .

THE FIRST EVIL was a unique entity that predated man and demon, apparently the personification of the concept of evil itself, manifested from all evil in existence. The First was an incorporeal presence that could assume the form of any person who had died, including vampires and persons who had been resurrected. Because of this it appeared in various forms depending who it sought to manipulate. Its true appearance, or the one it used to portray its true appearance, was seemingly in the form of a large robed bestial demon.

POWERS.

Ability to appear as any dead, undead or resurrected being (anything that has died).

Ability to gain the memories of who it appears as

Ability to choose to be seen and/or heard only by those it is communicating with as well as those outside of normal hearing range

Omnipresence

Ability to merge with certain beings, imbuing them with superhuman strength, stamina and durability, and establish a psychic link with them.

Telepathy

Dream projection

Voice Manipulation

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orumad‌:

      “I did, didn’t I?” And look where Sam ended up. Running through a demon-infested Sunnydale, carelessly throwing herself into danger just to save Kennedy. As far as she’s concerned, going to Sam had been a huge mistake. As much can probably be implied by the stoicism on her face. The demand hitches her breath, she winces back a little bit. “Don’t.” If Sam touches her, it’s over. She has to stay strong. Arms crossed over her chest and gaze set to Sam’s chin rather than her eyes, she shakes her head. “–It’s a liability. We’re not saving each other, we’re–,” putting each other in danger. The words are too difficult to form.

there’s  a  heavy  weight  blooming  inside  sam’s  chest .  a  combination  of  sheer panic  and  desperation .  so  strong  is  it ,  she  can’t  even  find  the  strength  to  act  on it .  everything’s  a  fast  motion  blur ,  and  the  nausea  is  rising .  “ ken . “  nickname  is  wheezed  outwards ,  coating  tongue  with  terrified  bitterness .  she  still  hasn’t  let  sam  touch  her ,  and  sam’s  aware  of  the  implications  but  unwilling  to  accept  them .

she’s  not  gonna  listen  to  this .  not  until  she’s  certain .  if  it’s  kennedy  who’s  tearing  sam’s  heart  from  her  chest ,  so  be  it .  but  the  first  is  a  constant  threat ,  and  the  two  lovers  have  been  apart  long  enough  for  it  to  have  wormed  its  way  in .  “ come  here ! “  voice  finds  a  hint  of  strength ,  rising  to  a  commanding  lilt  that  echoes  as  feet  drag  body  forwards .

eyes  blazing  and  skin  harbouring  an  obvious  fearful  pallor ,  sam  reaches  for  kennedy’s  arm .