greylockkey

[greylockkey]

Full offense but your writing style is for you and nobody else. Use the words you want to use; play with language, experiment, use said, use adverbs, use “unrealistic” writing patterns, slap words you don’t even know are words on the page. Language is a sandbox and you, as the author, are at liberty to shape it however you wish. Build castles. Build a hovel. Build a mountain on a mountain or make a tiny cottage on a hill. Whatever it is you want to do. Write.

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IM DUMPING CRUDE OIL ON THE POST BELOW THIS

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Female Power Romantasy novels can be indulgent as they like with giving the MC all the powers and hottest love interests and overcomplicated backstories, and I will cheer that on. Yes, there is a place for this! I see your vision, girl!

But the moment it starts talking about blood purity, her divine right to rule, and how ubermensch her babies will be with the man with the equally super special bloodline? You're doing girlboss eugenics at that point.

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First off, click here.

The wheel just assigned you one of the Worldwide Box Office Winners from the past 35 years. (No 2024 because we don't know that winner, yet.)

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The “Shepard Effect” has gotten so much funnier to me as I replay Mass Effect. The thing where all Shep’s squadmates end up flying the nest and becoming big important players in their own spheres? Like the random mercenary Shep brought along to hunt Saren ended up leading his entire species, that random Quarian kiddo on her Pilgrimage ends up as her species ambassador, the Virmire survivor becomes the next human Specter, etc. It’s the effect Shepard just has on the people around them that launches their careers/destinies… except it doesn’t apply to Shepard themself. I get the marketing plan of “Commander Shepard” being the only title so they’re more recognizeable to a gamer audience, but from a military perspective it is so fucking funny that Commander Shepard doesn’t get promoted once. Like not even posthumously, not even after saving the Citadel and killing Reapers left and right, all the while their squadmates are jumping from lieutenant to major, kid to ambassador, professor to Shadow Broker. Garrus isn’t even attached to any government body, and he still goes from C-Sec officer to Omega vigilante to Reaper expert(?) in the turian Hierarchy. It’s unclear what his official position is in the third game, but we know he gets a salute from a Hierarchy general.

And here’s Shepard cruising through, still a Commander because obviously they haven’t done a single thing worthy of promotion since the first game. No, it’s fine, they’ll fix everything for you and keep killing Reapers left and right. Died in the line of duty? Just a normal tuesday for Commander Shepard, nothing noteworthy here. Yes they will be the commanding officer of a major, there is nothing strange about this rank structure. 

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shakarian brainrot is back and better than ever because their me2 relationship is everything to me. "Hey you're my best friend do you wanna have sex?" "Yes best friend let's bang." So like we think this is just going to be some fwb situation right? I mean SURE there was some flirting but Shepard flirts with a lot of people (not ones she would consider her BEST FRIEND but it's still cool and casual and TOTALLY cool). But then it totally devolves before it even starts. Garrus "I Get Really Nervous Every Time You Walk Into A Room" Vakarian. Commander "Let Me Just Touch Your Arm To Show You How Truly Casual I Really Am" Shepard. I'm foaming at the mouth. It took them collectively 24 hours for them to realize that they actually DO have feeling for another but neither of them understands it or knows how to move forward with it. And then the night, THEE NIGHT, before the Collector Base and Garrus has completely melted into a puddle. Doesn't remember how to act when you're in a woman's bedroom. Fumbling and bringing gifts and weird misguided compliments. And Shepard just EATING IT UP. AND THE CHEEK BRUSH. THE FOREHEAD KISS. ((I know we like to hc that it's how turians kiss but let's just pretend it isn't)) THATS ABOUT THE MOST INTIMATE THING THEY COULD HAVE DONE IN THAT MOMENT TO CALM EACH OTHER DOWN. THEY DIDNT NEED WORDS TO SAY THAT THEY BOTH HAVE FEELINGS FOR EACH OTHER. I HAVE RABIES RAAAAAHHHHHH

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yes yes i love shakarian because those two just understand each other intrinsically. but i am foaming at the mouth for more cross-cultural differences that don't quite translate. i want garrus to be horrified by the idea that milk comes out of humans and babies drink it. i want shepard to be grossed out that turian parents chew up food for their babies and spit it in their mouths. i want shepard to not quite realize that when she arches her neck it's actually super suggestive and "uh babe, why are you flirting with my father like that?" "what, no, i'm just stretching." i want garrus to not 100% understand sarcasm because humans don't have subvocals and why would they ever just lie boldly like that? i want shepard to get used to the idea that turians have never once evolved to use utensils when they eat (hello? they only have three fingers?) and has to come to terms with garrus gnawing at huge chunks of blue, way too undercooked pieces of meat with his claws. i want garrus to be awestruck with the different amount of ways that humans can style their hair, and how does that not hurt? you're yanking your fringe and clipping it back? are you sure that's comfortable? i want shepard to turn her translator off every now and again so that she could hear the little chirping noises garrus makes to himself when he's concentrating. i want garrus to secretly adore watching shepard curl into chairs and twist her limbs onto couches because there's simply no way he could ever bend like that and be comfortable. i just want more.

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“not all men”

you’re absolutely correct garrus vakarian wouldn’t dare

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We all know the endless frustration of Garrus calibrating in ME2, but the whole situation just tugs at my heartstrings. Not just that he’s trying to keep busy to distract himself from grieving the incredible loss of his team, which he believes to be his fault by turian standards, but just:

“Shepard. Need me for something?” -> [hurriedly and dejectedly declines a personal conversation] -> “I’ll be here if you need me.”

That.

Something about the way he phrases it around need. It gives me the strong impression that he’s not just shutting himself down for his own sake so he doesn’t have to deal with messy grief and self-recrimination and burning, wounded anger before he can do something about it. He’s shutting himself down so he can work. He’s shutting himself down because once he starts actually grieving and processing, it’s over—his productivity, his clarity of mind, his usefulness to Shepard’s team on a suicide mission.

His usefulness to her, full stop.

Shepard has made clear from the start of their reacquaintance that she is depending on him. Someone I trust at my side. He’s got her six. His whole raison d’être, at this point, is to support her and be an asset to her mission. The only reason he is alive, right now, is because she needed him for her mission, and he knows it.

He will not let her down. Not like he let his team down—by ‘letting his feelings get in the way of his better judgment.’ He will not let it happen. He will be there if she needs him, he will be there to depend on, and he will operate as a repressed damn shell of himself in order to do that and be that person for her.

I’ll be here if you need me. Please don’t ask me how I’m doing because if you do, chances are I no longer can, and then what’s the point of me? But I’ll be here. You can depend on that.

And then there’s his action plan for Sidonis, and there’s a lot I could say about that would make this post way too long (turian society: living in service of the collective, the absolute taboo of ‘compromising your team,’ blame lying on the superior officer - and Garrus’ personal crusade: uncompromising justice) all of which play heavily into why he’s trying to execute the guy, but there might also be a note of efficiency in there.

One shot, and then it’s over, and he can be there fully for Shepard. One shot. One inhale, one squeezed trigger, and it’s done, and he can tie up the case and put all his energy into something else: their mission. It’s neat and clean… and not effective and bad for him in the long-term. He might not admit this to himself, and it might take a clear head to come to the conclusion, but the thing is—I’m not sure it matters to him. What matters is that he gets the affair dealt with swiftly so he can do his damn job. For Shepard.

Luckily for him, chances are that it does matter to Shepard. Because for all that he’s locked himself away, she sees him as a friend—or more. Because even when he’s turned her away every single time, she wants him to be better. Because she cares for him more than she cares about his usefulness.

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in my opinion one of the biggest reasons why Garrus' romance is so good is because it builds throughout the three games.

Understandably, most games don't have the luxury of having sequels but as someone that has binged a lot of games this year, I've noticed that the main reason why some romances in games are cute but don't really dig into my heart is because the pacing is all too fast.

Garrus being unromancable in the first game is actually so important and so good. Because you can interact with him and get to know his character without any conversations about romance.

And then when you do romance him in the second game, it starts off as a casual offer. This is also great as a player because maybe you never thought of garrus in that light either, but it's presented as something fun and noncommittal. Eventually Garrus makes it apparent that no matter what it is he wants it to be good and meaningful. And even when we do arrive to the last romance scene, it isn't really a confession of romantic feelings. they are important to each other, but they already have a strong friendship from ME1 to back this up.

And then important! This is just me but I really like the scenes post suicide mission in ME2 when shepard can bring her partner up to her room and she sits in their lap and cuddles them mostly because in my head this implies that they start spending more alone time together - developing feelings that are more romantic (you don't look at someone and spoon them like that without catching feelings). Sure it isn't an actual cut scene but it's cute okay guys.

And then by the third game you're really in it. Garrus is unsure if shepard wants something romantic with him but he obviously thought about her a lot during their time apart. AND THEN it doesn't even become official until you guys have that date on the presidium because he double checks AGAIN. And only then does Shepard confess her feelings. And only then - once you're in the citadel DLC - does he start being very lovey dovey googly eyes with shepard.

And of course, he doesn't say I love you until the very last second.

The build is beautiful and delicious and glorious. It lets you create friendship, trust and makes sure the player already likes garrus as a character before romance is an option. It also gives space for uncertainty and devastation once it all ends. There is so much time to breathe but also not too much! and it's what really makes this end-of-the-galaxy romance so good.

tldr: part of why the Garrus romance is so great is because the pacing is great.

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Shepard, tired from brokering peace between salarian, turian and krogan: I need someone to take me out

Garrus, looking up from calibrations: Like on a date or with a sniper gun?

Shepard: surprise me.

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Shepard (me) foiled at the last act of Mass Effect 1

Garrus BARELY finished that sentence

(EDIT: I am learning this is 'the Mass Effect experience' hahaha)

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I really do like headcanoning that a shakarian romance would have a great impact on turian-human relations throughout the galaxy (especially if we pretend that SPOILER Shepard somehow doesn't die).

Because Shepard definitely is a public figure, especially by the time ME3 rolls around and Garrus is calling Shepard his girlfriend left and right. But the first contact war only happened 26 years before ME1 so tensions are obviously still fresh between their two species. But also, as media has always shown us, a romance is always more sexy and compelling than a peace treaty.

So maybe Shepard and Garrus accidentally actually make relations between their two species really really good. Like repairing decades old wounds good. The two militaries start doing more joint trainings together because of the proof of how good Shepard's team is. More ships like the Normandy are built. Turian-human romantic relationships gradually become less and less of a taboo with them being the poster children for it.

And maybe they never say anything officially but various sources have overheard Garrus Vakarian refer to himself as Shepard's boyfriend and in both political and casual settings Commander Shepard is rarely seen without her right hand turian attached to her hip.

And as much as they both claim to want to retire post-war, the workaholics in them keep them active in their military and politics. So the cameras are still on them constantly, but since they're respected war heroes, the major news networks feel like speaking on their personal lives and asking questions would be inappropriate. And yet, the talking points Garrus and Shepard choose are often about how they are campaigning for more inter-species adoption and how cross-species colonies are vital to the galaxy's rebuilding efforts right now. And Garrus is often seen taking calls from Earth and Shepard from Palaven. So their legacy and mystery continues, and both turians and humans seen their friendship or romance as a pillar in their diplomacy efforts.

[greylockkey]

Putting my fictional husbands in a pit

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I still am and will continue to be a little bit messed up about how Garrus, self proclaimed bad boy and vigilante, super capable special ops soldier, best sniper in the galaxy, played his biggest part in the Reaper War not on the front lines but away from any combat. I will never be normal about this. In ME3, no one else checks up on Shepard like he does. Romance or not, Garrus tells Shepard to get some sleep, asks her how she's doing, lets her air out her doubts and insecurities to him... Like I am not joking I am fully serious, Garrus pretty much singlehandedly won the Reaper War. I'm sure she would have broken down if it weren't for that support. Do you think she would have made it otherwise? Do you think she would have had the strength to go on, to win? I'm so so obsessed with this. Mr action hero over there quite literally won that war with the power of love. Not with a gun but with some compassion for a person he loved. Can not will not be normal.

And what messes me up even more is he would absolutely not recognise his part in that victory. Like she won is all that matters. It was her victory. I'm sure it never even occurred to him that no one else checked up on her, it never occurred to him that he was the only thread she was hanging on. Because he loves her, she's his best friend, so of course he's gonna check up on her. He doesn't see this as anything special. It just makes sense for him. I really do think she could tell him outright "hey Garrus actually you're the only reason we won at all" and his brain would not connect that a non-combat thing equals war victory. I'm always and forever going to be a little bit insane about this.

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I'm close to finishing the trilogy, and suddenly felt so guilty for putting him through all this again.