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[greanbean88]

Chapter 9: Truth

Obi-Wan Kenobi stood motionless in front of the doorway, his expression a storm of emotions that he struggled to keep contained. The dim light from the single window cast long shadows across his face, highlighting the weariness etched in his features. Anakin stepped backwards out of surprise. He was not expecting his master to be awake and standing right of him.

In the background, the holovid screen flickered softly, casting a cold, blue light across the room catching Anakin’s attention. The news anchor’s voice droned on, delivering the devastating report: “—Naboo, has passed away under mysterious circumstances. The galaxy mourns her, the loss of one of its brightest stars—“

Anakin’s eyes were fixed on the screen, but his mind was elsewhere—lost in a whirlwind of grief, guilt, and despair. It was all his fault. He knew this would happen. He had lost so much but the death of his loved one was his breaking point. Her death felt like the final blow, the last piece of hope shattering before his eyes. He stood there mouth agape and let his silent tears fall down his cheeks.

Obi-Wan’s hands clenched at his sides, his breath coming in slow, measured exhales as he fought to maintain his composure. He looked at Anakin with an intense stare.

“Where were you?” Obi-Wan questioned with venom, eyes wet with tears. Before Anakin could come up with a lie, Obi-Wan interrupted him. “I’ve been awake the moment you- When… I walked in your room you weren’t there. Then I saw blood on the ground. Please don’t tell me you have any relation to th-this mess.” Obi-Wan’s voice wavered towards the end of his rambling. Showing his complete defeat.

Anakin’s eyebrows furrowed as anger started to whirl within him. Obi-Wan immediately assumed it was Anakin with no proof whatsoever. He did have some relation to it but… it still hurt.

“Why would I have anything to do with this Obi-Wan? Why would I—?”

He walked closer to Anakin and shook Anakin’s robe looking up into his eyes.“Just answer the question. Do you have anything to do with this?” His master’s eyes wide in fury, but his words were collected and clear.

Anakin paused for a moment. A moment too long. A moment that said everything without anything. Obi-Wan backed away from Anakin. Stumbling on his own feet from how fast he was moving. He landed on the couch.

“Wait. No. I didn’t hurt her. Let me explain..please?” Anakin’s voice wavered as he walked towards the couch.

Obi-Wan started at Anakin for a moment. His mind racking with thoughts miles a minute. He got himself situated and sat up properly.

“Okay.”

Anakin walked and sat down next to Obi-Wan. His blood shot eyes staring into Anakin’s again with an expression that was unreadable. Of course. Why couldn’t he have been smart enough to just listen to Palpatine? Why is he so stupid? Why does he always have to make things harder than they have to be? What would Padme think of him now? The cause of her death. What was he even supposed to say to Obi-Wan… it technically is all of his fault.

“Anakin. Tell me the full truth.” Obi-Wan said as if he was reading Anakin’s thoughts.

As a nervous habit Anakin put his hands in his robes. Fiddling the baggie filled with euphoria. “Palpatine threatened Padme’s life. So I wanted to get to her first… That’s where I went today but when I got there she was already—“

The older jedi immediately felt a great amount of anger. The force swirled around him so strongly Anakin could sense it. It was jagged like Obi-Wan’s breathing at the moment. But Obi-Wan soon calmed himself down. He knew he could think about this later. He had to focus on Anakin. He hugged Anakin tightly. he assumed it was from the trauma of seeing Padme dead. But in reality it was for all the lies Anakin’s made up. The horrible acts he’s done. The drugs in his robe.

“I’m sorry for assuming you had something to do with this.” Obi-Wan said as he let go. Wiping Anakin’s tears and his own.

“It’s okay.” Anakin said quietly, looking down into his lap.

A long hush followed the room as both jedi contemplated this moment. How their lives would change. Something was happening to the Republic. Something bad.

On the blue holovid screen two news anchors were seen discussing the recent events. “—We hope you all stay safe. You never know who the murder is—“

Obi-Wan quickly shut the holovid off. Tired of hearing Padme’s death. Anakin noticed how the conversation was over and stood up and headed towards his room.

“Wait.”

Anakin turning around confused wiping a few left over tears.

“Why was there blood in your room? Now that I think about it. It looked a few days old.”

“Uh..” Was all Anakin could get out before thinking of another excuse. He wasn’t thinking ahead for this. He completely forgot about the blood in his room.

Obi-Wan, who was still on the couch gave him a look. Anakin knew he had to tell the truth. There was no way out of this.

“It’s my blood.. I uhm. U-uh.” Anakin stuttered out.

“Come sit.” Obi-Wan patted the seat next to him. Again, Anakin sat down in his previous seat. Tears filled his eyes again. Filled with fear of what Obi-Wan would say. He would be disappointed and ashamed of having a student who can’t control himself. Who is a danger to himself and others.

“I cut myself by accident. But then I-I did it on purpose.” Anakin pushed out of him. It was a short response, but a long answer.

The master looked at him with worry and fear. “Anakin…”

“I know! I know it’s bad b-but I’m okay. I’m not ever going to do it again. It was scary and I didn’t like it. That’s why I never cleaned up the blood, I was just so scared of what I did.” Anakin sputtered out.

“Anakin. Still. This is not something you keep to yourself. If you’re ever not feeling yourself—“

Anakin stood up quickly and laughed in shock. “If I’m ever not feeling like myself? What? I feel fine. It was just a one time thing.”

Obi-Wan stood up. “I know that! But still this is serious!”

“I am fine. Stop saying this is serious.” Anakin paused for a moment and thought. “You know what why are we even talking about this right now. I thought we were just talking about Padme. Can’t I get some time to grieve her? Look I’ll clean up the blood now so you feel better.”

“No. You don’t have to do that.” Anakin ignored his master’s protest and guided his way to a small closet where cleaning supplies were stored.

“No, no, no, It’s okay. I’m just cleaning up some blood. It’s nothing.”

Obi-Wan walked over to Anakin and put his hand on his shoulder, shaking his head. “Anakin really. It’s okay.” He stated sincerely.

Anakin jerked away from him and headed towards his room. Obi-Wan said something but it was muffled out by the door behind him closing. Knocking was heard on the door behind him but it became distant as he began to clean, and clean, and clean. Scrubbing the floor down till nothing was there. Clothing that was bloody was put into a bag, tied up, and thrown in the garbage.

A muffled Anakin was heard through the door. Repeated over and over but Anakin payed no mind. He didn’t answer. He went to the bathroom, washed his hands and once he came out, Obi-Wan gave up on calling his name. Anakin assumed he was gone and opened his door and put the cleaning supplies away. Obi-Wan’s door was closed.

When Anakin returned to his room he took the small bag out of his robes and sat on the bed. What would happen if he tried one now? Would it take his pain away? He did not want to think about Padme or anything at the moment. Trying just one wouldn’t hurt. Or breaking it in half. Anakin reached into the bag and took one crystal like pill out. He was contemplating if he should do this now or later. It was early morning after all. He wouldn’t want to be high the whole day. But he would feel so much better.

Before Anakin could over think again, he broke the pill in half and swallowed one piece down. Then he looked down at his open hand and said “Oh, what the hell.” and swallowed down the second half quickly.

[greanbean88]

Chapter 8: Silence

He moved swiftly down the dimly lit hallway, his footsteps nearly silent on the polished floor. Shadows clung to the corners, and the faint hum of distant machinery filled the air, but he kept his focus sharp, avoiding the gaze of the few who still wandered the corridors at this late hour.

As he approached the exit, he quickened his pace, though his heart pounded in his chest. The speeder, waited just beyond the threshold, but as he neared it, a sudden clatter echoed through the hallway—his boot had brushed against a loose panel. The sound louder than he had hoped. He froze for a fraction of a second, breath held, before deciding to walk forward.

Reaching the speeder, he engaged the thrusters, and the vehicle shot forward, cutting through the silence of the night like a blade. The city’s lights blurred around him as he sped off, the tension in his muscles slowly easing as the distance between him and the prying eyes grew.

—

The lawless city, hidden away underneath the elite Coruscant society flourished in the late night. Bounty hunters, gangsters, and other criminals prevented from a civilization occurring. Illicit drugs and other illegal activities were prevalent in day to day lives as a form of work, or enjoyment.

Anakin parked his speeder behind a danky building which made his nose wrinkle up in disgust. The bar had dull neon lights shinning down dirty alleyways, flickering every few seconds. It was the height of most of the crimes committed in the lower levels.

When Anakin entered he realized how out of place he was. It was loud and rowdy. man individuals were sitting at the bar for some relaxation and amusement. But Anakin was only there for peace. Silence within his mind.

He approached the long bar stool and sat at a seat, then called over a drink. Anakin glanced around to the people next to him analyzing the type of people he was about to confront. One of them would be selling what he wanted. He just needed to approach them properly.

“What are you looking at boy?”

Anakin did not realize, but he had been staring at this woman next to him while he was deep in thought. Her hair was a tangled mess, strands sticking out in various directions as if it hadn’t seen a comb in days. The dull brown color was streaked with gray, adding years to her already worn face. Her eyes, slightly bloodshot, were dull and foggy.

Anakin leaned on the bar table and sipped his alcohol. “Got anything?” He said sharply.

The woman eyed him carefully. Realization then dawned on him. “You’re that Skywalker boy. Hero aren’t ya’?” She taunted. Others scattered around the bar glanced towards him with suspicion.

Anakin sighed and swirled his drink. He wanted to avoid unwanted attention not attract it. Pulling his hood over his head should have a given. “So what? You gonna tell on me?” He questioned.

“Nun’ my business. How do you want it?”

“Pill.”

The woman reached into the inside pocket of her coat and pulled out a bag of pills. Each different color. She raised a brow in exasperation. “Well, what are you looking for?”

“Something… to calm me down.” Anakin said carefully, not to realize too much information.

“Ah, I see.” The woman then put her small bag of mixed pills back into her pocket and took out another one. They resembled crystals and were a faint light blue color. She then placed the baggie on the table and pushed it towards Anakin. The jedi then reach out his hand to grab it, but the criminal retracted the bag and chuckled.

“You’ve never done this before have you?”

Anakin stiffened in his seat. It was pretty obvious this was his first time.

“How much do you want- for the bag.”

The woman smiled crookedly. Showing her yellow rotting teeth. A reminder to Anakin of Palpatine. “50 credits. No- double. For me to keep my mouth shut of course.” Anakin grimaced and pulled out 100 credits he was carrying with him. and pushed it forwards on the bar table. The woman’s eyes lost their fogginess and filled with excitement. She pushed her bag forward and collected the credit’s quickly.

“Nice working with ya’.”

Anakin put the baggie inside his robe and threw his hood on. Walking out of the bar swiftly, leaving his half empty drink on the table.

—

Anakin moved quickly through the temple grounds, the baggie now safely hidden within his robe. The early morning air was cool against his skin. As he approached the speeder bay, he noticed a few Jedi already beginning their morning routines. Nearby, a group of Knights engaged in quiet conversation, their low voices barely audible over the hum of the city beyond.

Anakin pulled his hood lower over his face, careful to keep his pace casual. He couldn't afford to draw any attention to himself, not now. Slipping into the shadows, he made his way to the speeder parking area. Anakin maneuvered his speeder carefully, avoiding the main pathways where he might be seen. The last thing he needed was for someone to ask why he was returning a speeder at such an odd hour.

—

As he navigated the narrow service corridors, his mind raced. If anyone questioned him, he would need an excuse, something believable but not too detailed. He couldn't afford to slip up now—not with the package hidden in his robe, burning a hole in his conscience. He moved swiftly through the temple, keeping to the quieter passages where few ventured at this hour.

Just a little further, he told himself, his gaze fixed ahead as he approached the hallway leading to his quarters. He quickened his pace, hoping to reach the safety of his room before anyone noticed his unusual behavior. Finally, he reached his door, the relief washing over him as it slid open with a quiet hiss. Anakin stepped inside, the door closing softly behind him. Safe, at least for now.

[greanbean88]

Chapter 7: Changes

“Anakin! Where are you?” Obi-Wan said through the comm laced with worry and urgency.

Anakin hesitated, he didn’t want to talk about what happened with Padme. He was too afraid Obi-Wan knew what she knew as well.

His voice trembling as he responded, “I’m at Padme’s...I-I had to see her.”

“Anakin, listen to me. Palpatine is.. dangerous. We need to talk. Come back to the Temple. I can help you, but you need to trust me.”

“Trust you? Why should I trust you. You probably told the council everything already. You don’t understand, Obi-Wan. Everything is falling apart,” Anakin replied, his voice breaking.

“Anakin I would never..! I-I do understand, Anakin. And that’s why I’m asking you to come back. Please, let me help you,” Obi-Wan pleaded.

Anakin took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm within him. He closed his eyes, feeling the weight of his choices bearing down on him. He couldn’t face Palpatine alone, and he couldn’t protect Padme without help. Did she even want to be protected? With a heavy heart, he made his decision.

“I’m…on my way,” he finally said uncertainly.

—

As Anakin arrived back at the Temple, he was immediately met by Obi-Wan. The hall was mostly clear. A few master’s scattered here and there but not close enough to eavesdrop. The look of concern showed on Obi-Wan’s face mirrored the turmoil within Anakin. Without a word, Obi-Wan hugged him tightly.

Anakin took a deep breath, and became rigid in his stance. The hug was meant to be comforting but made him stiff. Everytime someone touched him it reminded him of the horrific encounter with Palpatine, the threats against Padme, and the dark shadow that had been cast over his mind ever since.

Obi-Wan let go of the hug and looked at Anakin intently, his expression growing dark. “We need to bring this to the Council,” Obi-Wan said firmly.

Anakin’s breath hitched and he quickly backed up. He knew this was a bad idea.

“Wait! Before you say anything, I only want to tell them that we suspect Palpatine is a Sith… I should have said that first.” Obi-Wan rushed out quickly.

Anakin’s eyes widened with fear. “No, they can’t know! Not about anything. He’ll find out then he’ll—”

“They need to know, Anakin,” Obi-Wan interrupted. “A slight truth will give us a chance to catch him and give him what he deserves.” Obi-Wan then smiled softly. “Anakin, please? I think for once everyone is there today. It’s easier this way. I’ll do most of the talking. You’ll just have to confirm what I am saying.” He said as he reached out to rest a hand on Anakin’s shoulder.

Anakin hesitated. Maybe this would be the best. Maybe he could finally have the upper hand. “Okay.”

Obi-Wan and Anakin made their way out of the now empty hall quickly. Anakin walked a few steps behind Obi-Wan trying to cover his face from passing Jedi. As Obi-Wan greeted them calmly Anakin pondered. He couldn’t understand. How could someone be so collected after hearing something so disgusting. Why couldn’t he control his feelings like others around him? Why is he always different from others? He didn’t choose this life. If he could, he rather be doing anything else.

Ob-Wan suddenly stopped in front of Anakin. “Ok we’re here.” He said tentatively, while turning around. “Just remember to follow what I say and I’ll do most of the talking.”

“..Alright.”

When they both entered through the doors it was as if he entered a new world. Even though Anakin has been there a million times, it was never like this. Everyone seated there in person. This was different. More intimidating. But Obi-Wan walked in there with a confidence that broke the council’s conversations off. They all started at Obi-Wan in confusion.

“Obi-Wan I trust you were gone for a reason?” Windy stated.

The other council members nodded in agreement.

“Yes, actually this is very important. So I will cut this short.” The council mom ers looked at each other in interest. “Anakin has brought to my attention that Palpatine may have other motives… than being the chancellor.”

With an observant state of mind Ki-Adi-Mundi questioned Obi-Wan. “What makes you say that?” Yarael jumped in before Obi-Wan could get a word out. “Why don’t you make Skywalker speak for himself? Hm?” He stated as his long faces conformed into a thin smile.

It reminded Anakin of him.

Obi-Wan glanced towards Anakin in worry. But nevertheless backed up so Anakin could stand infront of them. After all Obi-Wan was the youngest on the council.

When he walked forwards slowly he looked at no one. His head was down. But soon Anakin told himself to relax and began to speak and raised his head up.

“When Obi-Wan and I returned from a mission a few days ago.. Palpatine wanted to speak to me…” Anakin stopped for a moment and looked over at Obi-Wan. He gave him a look to continue. So he did.

“He started to bash the jedi and say I should learn a larger view of the force. Then he said I should learn the dark side.”

When Anakin said this a few of the council members gasped in shock.

“…So I suspect he is a Sith.” Anakin ended with a quiet tone. The confidence was squeezed out of him as the council started at him intently.

“A shock, this is.” Yoda stated calmly, but in an surprised tone.

“Are you sure this is true Anakin?” Windu questioned.

“He would not lie about that Windu.” Obi-Wan projected in. Standing in the middle of the room again along side Anakin “Master Windu never said he lied.” Plo Koon stated, with a hint of concern in his tone.

Obi-Wan’s face became slightly red with embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to-“

“It is fine. Just what shall we do about this situation?” Windu said sternly, looking around the room for someone to respond.

Yaddle then spoke up. Her frail voice filled the room. “I believe we should confront Palpatine. Should we not?“

No one in the room objected.

“We need to do this as soon as possible!” Even Piell scowled in a rough accented voice.”Yes we should. But why keep this information from us for such a long time time?” Eeth Koth wondered out loud.

Many of the council members hummed in agreement and waited for Anakin’s response.

Obi-Wan looked at Anakin in apprehension. He was not supposed to speak this much. Obi-Wan was supposed to talk for him. He should have known better than to agree to this.

“Uh, well, I needed time to think.” He murmured. He knew the council would expect more but he wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t want to tell them the truth. What would they think of him? Weak? Unfit for a jedi? Send him to a mind healer, never to be seen again? Anakin would not allow that to happen. Neither would Obi-Wan.

“It was a lot to digest and I couldn’t come here without someone to be by my side. It would be unbelievable.”

The Jedi within the room did not respond, filling Anakin with anxiousness. He knew that was a bad response.

Obi-Wan put his hand on Anakin’s back, trying to comfort the younger one. “What Anakin is trying to say is with the help of me, it would give Anakin a chance to be immediately heard.”

“You still did not answer my question Anakin.” Mace Windu said, completely unmoved by Obi-Wan’s little speech. “If you have nothing to hide you should be able to tell us.”

Anakin’s brows furrowed in anger. “I don’t have anything to hide!” He said a little too loudly, startling a few Jedi.

“Then why did you go on that speeder and leave today?“ Plo Koon asked carefully.

Anakin. stood there like an idiot for a moment and looked to Obi-Wan. His face was slightly still red and a small vein showed on his head. He was obviously getting irritated just as Anakin was in the moment.

“I uh.. Uhm.” Was all Anakin could form as a response. If they knew about him punching guards and causing a commotion he would be suspended.

“This is absurd! What are we doing, interrogating Anakin when we should be going after Palpatine? This is a waste of our time-“ Obi-Wan’s voice cut through the room ice. He never was one to have a temper but it was evident now.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi!” Yoda cut Obi-Wan off. His voice carried authority and demand throughout the room. “Speak to your elders this way you must not. A child you are?”

Anakin’s master stood there red and frustrated. His head was tilted down in embarrassment.

The council members eyed each other suspiciously. Anakin caught their glances and began to fidget where he was standing. This conversation was not going well. He should have known this would happen.

“I believe you two should go calm your minds. Return when you have relaxed. Meanwhile we will discuss more on this topic.” Mace Windu stated coldly.

“Y-yes masters thank you.” Anakin fumbled out slowly. Obi-Wan stood still, then abruptly turned around and walked out.

—

Anakin sat down on the small couch within their chambers.

“I can’t believe this!” Obi-Wan stated flailing his arms around, walking in a circle. “This isn’t right. We need to be doing something now.”

The younger jedi sat there listening to his master’s concerns. Watching him obviously react differently than usual.

Obi-Wan abruptly stopped moving. His back facing Anakin. “We might have to do things our own way.” He mumbled under his breath.

“Our own way?…” Anakin paused for a moment. “Master, I believe we should rest on this.”

Anakin stood up and looked out the window. Noticing the mellow colors mixing within the sky. Pink stretching across into a deep blue connecting to the lowering sun.

Anakin turned around and walked towards Obi-Wan. “It’s been a long day. Let’s go to bed.”

Obi-Wan shifted his body and deflated knowing Anakin was right. “Alright.”

—

When Anakin entered his bedroom, he stared at the disorderly mess of his bedroom and then picked up his dirty robe from the floor, reminded of the blood spilled beneath it. Even though the bright red color changed into a wine red, it indicated how long it had been there.

Once he walked over to his bathroom and placed the robe in the sink, drenching it in water, he noticed how tired he looked in the bathroom. It was a shock to him on how no one said anything about his appearance.

When he editors the bathroom letting his robe sit in hot water he glanced over towards the dirtied floor again. He was too physically and mentally tired. He didn’t want to deal with that. So he changed his clothes, hopped on his bed and lied there. His mind drifting from one bad thought to another. He was so done with everything. His life was going so wrong.

Anakin's thoughts wandered to Padmé, her gentle smile and kind eyes. He longed for her comfort, for her understanding, but he knew he couldn't. Not anymore. She deserved better than the broken man he had become.

A deep sigh escaped him, his chest rising and falling with the effort. He wished for sleep, for the temporary reprieve it offered, but but hoped one day it would be permanent. A quick way to die. Though he didn’t deserve it. His mind continued to swirl in circles until the dam broke.

Large droplets flowed from his sorrow filled eyes hitting his cheeks. The more he wiped them away, the quicker they resurfaced. His heart ached for some sort of escape from this life. And now he somehow got Obi-Wan involved in his terrible never ending life. One of the persons who was a constant pillar holding his heart up.

“I’m sorry.” choked out in a hushed tone speaking to no one. “I should be better.”

A sad whisper lingered in the air.

He shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He was done. He couldn’t take this pain anymore. It was too much to bear alone. He lifted his aching bones from his bed and wandered off, leaving Obi-Wan and his quarters quietly.

Anakin wasn’t quite sure where he was going and how he could provide an excuse of his absence from his master, but knew it wouldn’t matter in the end.

[greanbean88]

Chapter 6: Misunderstandings

Anakin went immediately into his room the moment he stepped through the door. He didn’t look for Obi-Wan, he didn’t change his clothes. He just lied down on his bed and sighed. He didn’t know how long he could keep doing this. He had so much on his shoulders and on top of that he needed to save Padme.

As Anakin wallowed on his bed, he heard a beep coming from his wrist. Obi-Wan was calling his comm. He debated on answering, but realized he had no reason to miss it. He WAS supposed to go to the training room.

“Hello? Anakin?” Obi-Wan spoke quickly in a hushed tone. “Yes?…” Anakin replied.

“I need you to get down to the training room quick! It’s an emergency!”

Anakin was confused. What could have possibly gone wrong in the training room. Maybe it’s good he never went there.

“What happened? Is everythi-“ Anakin managed to voice out before the comm was cut off. He sat up quickly and got himself together. Once he left he practically ran into other jedi in the hallways he passed through. It didn’t consent him though, he was more worried for Obi-Wan and what made him act so urgently.

He bursted through the training room doors and basically ran into Obi-Wan. Anakin backed up in a ready stance but realized Obi-Wan looked perfectly fine and quite literally no one else was in the room.

Soon Obi-Wan started to laugh loudly. “Wow, now I know how to get you out of your room! I didn’t think that would work.” I breathed out, barely forming the words together.

“Wait… so nothings wrong?..” Anakin questioned. “Oh force no! If something did happen why would I comm you first and not the council?” Obi-Wan stated as he smiled.

Anakin’s expression changed from worried to hurt after he said that. What does that mean?

“Anyways I brought you here because I thought you would want to talk. I know being here is relaxing to you and you’ve been acting off lately. So maybe you want to chat while we train?”

Anakin thought why not. Maybe Obi-Wan could give him ideas on how to get to

Padme. But he knew not to tell him a thing about Palpatine or Padme. It would be too much to deal with. Obi-Wan would probably tell the council anyways, Anakin thought.

“Sure.” Said Anakin stiffly.

—

“I don’t mean to be blunt Anakin but, what’s been going on, why have you seemed so distracted lately?” Obi-Wan stated as he had his fighting stance up ready to use Soresu.

Anakin knew he couldn’t lie in this moment. “I’ve just been very stressed with everything going on. And oh, I don’t know…” He stated as he circled around Obi-Wan.

Anakin’s master then lunged forwards and swung his training saber to Anakin’s face. Anakin easily blocked it with his saber, both of them crossing at their faces.

“I get it, this job is hard work. Just don’t let it distract you from what’s important.” Obi-Wan said sternly as he managed to over power Anakin’s defense.

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” The younger Jedi questioned. Moving backwards before Obi-Wan could strike again.

“Yourself.” Obi-Wan stated.

Anakin then stood still for a moment. What Obi-Wan said completely caught him off guard and before he could prepare himself for an attack Obi-wan knocked him down.

Obi-Wan smiled as he was above Anakin. “Were you even trying?”

Anakin was about to answer with a snarky statement but then memories flooded back to him of Palpatine. The touches all over his body and the manipulative remarks. The piercing eyes he felt just before he passed out. It was in this exact position. Him on the hard floor with Palpatine above him.

Anakin was gripping his training saber so harshly out of fear that it cracked. His breathing was sharp and his eyes were very wide. As this was happening Obi-Wan was hovering over Anakin looking so concerned, so confused.

“Anakin! What’s wrong?! Please take a deep breath, you need to calm down!” Obi-Wan said in a panicked manner but those words only made Anakin hyperventilate more. Tears started to stream down his face as he let still held onto the saber in his hand. Terrified to move. Stuck in his memories. He then closed his eyes and moved his head to the side. Not wanting to look at Obi-Wan’s face.

“Please Anakin! Take a deep breath with me!”

Anakin really tried to but his throat was closing up. Tears were flowing down his face at a fast pace. His breaths were becoming shallower. Anakin then opened his eyes and looked off into the distance. “Get off.” He managed to say quietly. “P-please…”

Obi-Wan immediately got up and kneeled down next to Anakin. He went to go hold him but Anakin repelled violently from the touch and broke down crying harder. Obi-Wan immediately backed his hands away.

“Anakin, follow my breathing!”

The younger jedi then looked at Obi-Wan’s face and saw him breathing slowly in and out, signaling Anakin to follow. Anakin then took in a shallow breath to follow his master’s.

Soon enough Anakin stopped breathing so sharply and let the training saber go. Obi-Wan took his hand again and put it on Anakin’s face. Anakin’s eyes looked into Obi-Wan’s and he bursted out crying again.

Obi-Wan frowned. “Anakin… What happened?”

Anakin lifted himself up and cried into his master’s shoulder. His sobs filled the room with despair. “I-I can’t say.” He whispered.

Obi-Wan hugged Anakin. “You need to tell me young one. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.” Obi-Wan protested.

Anakin then let go and whipped the silent tears flowing down his face. He knew he needed to tell someone what was going on. That was the only way he would get help. The only way he would be able to reach Padme.

“Pal…Palpatine is not the person we all think he is. He-He’s…He-“ Anakin stuttered out, looking down into his lap. He cursed at himself in his head for his stupid stutter. He sounded like a child.

Obi-Wan rested his hand on Anakin’s chin and lifted it up. “Young one it’s okay, take your time there is no rush.”

Anakin was tried of taking so long. Of thinking what to say so he decided to blurt out what came to his head first. “He raped me. When we came back from the mission. When he said he wanted to talk to me. He got ma-mad at me b-because I didn’t want to join him on the dark side. Because he’s a sith. And then he threatened me too and said he would hurt padme. And me and Padme are married. And… I’ve been having nightmares of her dying in childbirth and I told him that.”

He ranted quickly, trying to forget as soon as possible.

Obi-Wan gasped and put a hand over his mouth. He sat there eyes wide with shock. For moments he sat there still without a word and Anakin started to look uncomfortable. He knew he shouldn’t have said anything. Obi-Wan will just pity him for the rest of his life and tell the council.

Once Anakin got a good look at Obi-Wan’s expression he knew he had to leave. He swiftly got up. Starting the master Jedi and practically ran out the door.

He needed to get to Padme! Why did he make himself relive those horrors only for Obi-Wan to react that way? Anakin wondered. He just needed to reach Padme before Palpatine did. So Anakin ran towards the Jedi speeders and took off on one before anyone could say anything. He looked down at his comm, for it was beeping but Anakin did not answer. He knew it was Obi-Wan and Anakin did not want to hear what he had to say.

Throughout the whole ride he was anxious and scared. He should have commed Padme immediately after Palpatine talked to him. Why was he always so stupid? The more Anakin delved into his thoughts, the quicker the ride became. And soon enough he reached the Senate apartment complex.

He jumped off the speeder, leaving it in a random spot and raced towards Padme’s apartment but was stopped by guards. “What business do you have here?” One guard questioned. Anakin noticed these must be new guards. The other ones knew who he was because he would visit often. “I am a Jedi I need to speak with Senator Padme Amidala immediately.” He urgently said. The two guards looked at each other and then noticed his lightsaber on his belt. “You may be a jedi but we can not let you through without proper authorization from the senator herself.” The other guard stated.

Anakin was getting annoyed. He needed to speak with her now! This was a waste of his time. He backed up from the guards and stood his ground. “Sorry for this.” He stated as he punched one guard hard in the face. The guard dropped to the ground clutching his face whaling in pain. Residents and people within the building saw this commotion and began to run away in fear.

The jedi then quickly punched the second guard, but he was more prepared and blocked it. But soon was kicked in the stomach and dropped to the ground.

Anakin focused again and was about to run towards the elevator infront of him but was pulled to the ground. This first guard held Anakin down on the ground. And the second one brought out his blaster, positing it to Anakin’s face. “Stand down jedi! I don’t want to hurt you.”

Anakin need to think of a plan quickly with them being hurt as little as possible. He then head butted the guard holding him down. And the guard gasped in pain as he harshly hit the ground. Not moving. Anakin then brought out his saber. The guard with the blaster in his hand shot it, but the bullet ricocheted off the lightsaber hitting a nearby wall.

The guard was soon tackled to the ground. “Sleep.” Anakin stated softly. As the guard’s eyes closed and soon he was knocked out.

The Jedi then picked himself up and ran towards the elevator punching the button for the door to open. Once the doors opened enough he punched the close button and pressed Padme’s floor number.

Right when the doors opened again he went over to Padme’s door and knocked harshly. “Padme! I need to speak to you!” Anakin said. But there was no response. He saw the light move under the door signaling someone was there listening. “Padme?”

Suddenly the door was opened abruptly and Anakin was met with a neutral faced Padme. “Hi Anakin. Why are you here?” She questioned slowly. “I really need to speak to you. Can I come in?” Anakin questioned in a hurried tone. “Yes.” She replied stiffly.

Padme closed the door behind Anakin and they both walked towards a couch in the living room. When Anakin sat down his leg bounced up and down nervously. “Padme I need to tell you something important. It’s about Palpatine.”

“I know.” She said as she sat down in her seat next to him.

“You know?!” He yelled. “Do you know everything?…”

Padme’s fist clenched in anger and her brows furrowed. “I know enough!”

“Wait are we talking about the same thin-“

“I know what happened Anakin. I know everything. He told me all of it! How could that happen!” She yelled.

“He told you ev-everything??” Anakin said. Then sat in silence for a moment. “You don’t have to be angry It’s okay.” He said sadly as he went to place his hand on her leg but she moved her body.

“Anakin.” She said sternly. Anakin flinched and move his eyes towards hers. He didn’t know what to say. He knew he was in trouble when he heard that tone.

“I don’t understand why can’t you tell me the truth for once? I knew there was something wrong with you!” She exclaimed in anger.

Anakin was startled by her out burst and sat there for a moment, silent. Was there something wrong with him? He literally just had a panic attack and come here to warn her, what did he do wrong now?

“Could you at least say something? Anything?”

He was so scared. He didn’t want Padme to be mad. Why does he always somehow mess up? Why is it always his fault?

“I-I don’t know what to say.”

Padme scoffed. “You don’t know what to- You know what. You are obviously keeping secrets and you don’t trust me.”

“What are you talking about?? You’re yelling at me about something I don’t even know?!” Anakin exclaimed in frustration. He stood up and looked at her in confusion. What the force was she talking about? He questioned in his head.

Padme got up and swiftly walked closer to Anakin. “What ever you did?! You sexually assaulted the Chancellor! For no reason whatsoever! What kind of sick mind does that? Then you’ve been so mopey and jumpy lately. Acting confused and lost. Is this all just to trick me into thinking you’re innocent?” She exclaimed pointing her finger at him, with venom dripping from her voice.

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The love of his life was accusing him of something so vile? What did he do that was so wrong?

The jedi shook in his place. He didn’t want to make Padme mad. “W-what? I don’t understand…What are you talking about?!!”

Padme scoffed again and looked away. “I can’t believe you.” She stated as she walked away from him. “You need to leave.”

“B-but-“

She turned around in an aged. “Leave! We are done! LEAVE!”

Anakin was so shocked at what he was hearing but quickly left her apartment in fear of her. He stood by the elevator numb and empty. He just wanted to disappear from the world. He could never do anything to himself, there were too many who used him as a pillar in their lives. But if only a mission could go wrong, or some sort of accident could occur. A quick and painful death, freeing him from the waves of constant stress, but still giving him what he deserves. He obviously is just a fuck up. How could things come to this? How could he mess up so bad? Anakin pressed the button to the elevator and then his comm beeped again. He debated on answering but soon did out of desperation.

[greanbean88]

Chapter 5: Threats

Anakin continued to hurt himself, loosing the sense of time. Soon the whole arm became a canvas painted in red. It was done and completed so he went on to the next. Slashing more aggressively the more emotional he became. Completely disregarding if he would cut too hard.

In the distance a click was heard. Obi-Wan.

An akin quickly got himself together and washed the blood from his arms into the drain. Bacta was quickly pulled from the cabinet and smothered over his arms. It stung badly but it had to be done. Anakin then ran as quickly he could into his room and threw off his robes. Placing them over the red on the ground. While jumping into his new robes, a knock was heard at his door.

“Anakin? Is everything alright? Can I come in?” Obi-Wan asked in a concerned tone.

Anakin was scared if he knew. If Obi-Wan found out what he was doing. If Anakin would be reprimanded for his actions, letting his emotions get the better of him.

Anakin cleared his throat hoping to clear the fear out his throat. Only for it to sound weak and small. “I-I’m fine. Just putting my clothes on.”

“Really?… I can feel your heightened emotions in the force young one…” Obi-Wan then hesitated and with a careful voice said: “You don’t have a girl in there do you?…”

Suddenly the door was opened quickly and Anakin looked at Obi-Wan with a shocked expression. “W-What? No!”

Obi-Wan put his arms on his waist. Giving Anakin one of his infamous looks. “Really…You sure?”

Anakin’s face filled red with embarrassment. The only other time he has ever had this type of conversation with Obi-Wan was when he was young. “Yes I am sure!”

Obi-Wan sighed and relaxed his shoulder. Hands falling off his hips. He turned around and walked to his room. “Okay…” He mumbled.

Anakin stood there for a moment. Waiting until Obi-Wan closed his door. Who knows why he was in there. It’s not even late out.

He thought to himself. Then he closed backed into his room again. Closing the door and locking it. He pulled the robes off the bloodied spot. Water from the bathroom sink was brought over from a cup he had lying around. Water splattered onto the floor in a chaotic manner. Anakin then immediately got old towels, clothes, anything he could find beat up enough to scrub the floor. It would be too obvious if he went out into the kitchen and got a sponge. But Anakin’s work was not efficient. Nothing was changing on the ground. The blood stayed in its previous spot. Reminding him of his actions.

He had no other choice but to leave his room and hope his master would not walk in.

He made his way over to his master’s room and locked on his door. “Obi-Wan?” Anakin questioned. Some shuffling was heard behind the door but it soon was opened to a wet Obi-Wan in a towel. “Oh! Sorry I didn’t mean to bother your shower. I just wanted to say that I’m going to the training room.”

Obi-Wan nodded his head in understanding. “Alright no problem. I’ll come join you later.” He said.

—

When Anakin left their room he knew he messed up. His arms were incredibly sore even though the bacta was there. And he knew he shouldn’t have said he was going to the training room. Now Obi-Wan was going to join him!

As he was walking through the hallway these thoughts swelled in his mind. But the reached and end once he came upon his destination. The closet Padme pulled him in. He remembered it was a janitor’s closet and hit had sponges right on the shelf.

Once he went to turn on the lights, the door suddenly shut behind him. Panic flooded his sense immediately. He reached led for his lightsaber on his side, but cosme in contact with nothing. Where did he put his lightsaber?

“P-Padme… This isn’t funny. I’m not laughing.” Anakin stuttered out as he touched the wall next to him searching for the light switch. His hands grazed frantically over the smooth surface looking for what he wanted but came in contact with something else. A face. Not any face though. He knew this one. He knew who it was.

Then a a light was turned on which blinded him for a moment.

“Anakin my boy… Didn’t I tell you the jedi’s ways aren’t right? Why are you still trying to hold back your emotions. I see you walked down the hallway, wondering aimlessly half dead.” Palpatine said as he placed a hand on his shoulder. Anakin flinched violently and shook. Palpatine chuckled.

“W-What do you want?” Anakin said.

“I want you to join me. You know not to disobey me after your little lesson we had earlier right?” Palpatine said as he smiled wickedly.

Anakin started back in complete shock. He didn’t know what to do. Maybe he could scream for help. No. It wouldn’t work. He knew that.

“I… Uh…” Was all he could say. Frozen by the situation.

“Actually… “ Palpatine said as he lifted his hand from Anakin’s shoulder. Instead placing them on his head. Ruffling his hair like he was a dog. “I don’t care what you do. You will join me. Or else Padme dies.”

“Please! No! Don’t! I’m begging you!”

Suddenly a finger was put over his lips. “Shhh, not so loud. Don’t want the others to hear you, right?”

Anakin nodded his head. He knew he was over. Either join the dark side, saving Padme. Live and disobey killing Padme. Or die negatively affecting the war. He didn’t know what to do. What is the best option?

Anakin became bold and wrapped his hand over Palpatine’s skinny finger. Caressing it. “I’m sorry, I should know better.” He said. Looking at Palpatine with eyes he only used on Padme. “That’s right! Just listen to me and all will be fine.” The elder one said.

He eased off and put his hands on his hips. Smiling positively. “If only…” He said.

Anakin knew this was his chance to pretend and get on his good side. Somehow escape. “If only what?” Anakin said softly.

“If only you weren’t so stupid.” He said in a cold manner. “I know what you’re doing. Do you think I’m a fool?! Your emotions are so obvious in the force it’s embarrassing!” He exclaimed.

Anakin stood there in astonishment. He really thought his plan would work but he should have known it wouldn’t. He instantly felt self-conscious if he was this stupid when it came to coming up with battle strategies. If this was the reason nobody ever wanted to go along with his plans.

Palpatine slammed Anakin’s body against the wall which had the switch on it. The lights were switched off and Anakin’s breath hitched.

“Now why did you think… it was a good idea to lie to me?” Palpatine whispered into Anakin’s ear. “You…You know better than this.” He said as he put his hand on Anakin’s chest. The jedi turned his head away from the whisper’s in his ear in fear. “You’re going to face the consequences now.”

Suddenly Palpatine backed up and walked out the door. Surprising Anakin. He thought that was it for him and he would never see the ones he loves again. But then he realized what Palpatine just said was a threat. What was he going to do? Was he going to hurt Padme like he said he would?

He slowly opened the door and looked both ways into the hallway. Luckily no one was there. Then he went back into the room and closed the door. He let his emotions go and slid down the door sitting in the darkness. Uncontrollable fat tears fell down his cheeks and rolled onto his robes. He was so lost. He didn’t know what to do. Wheee to go. Who to tell.

His breath hitched violently trying to get air into his lungs. He placed his body on the ground and laid down. His hands balled into fists as he punched them into the ground. He had no one. Nothing. Padme as going to die and he can’t do a thing about it. He already had nightmares about her death in child birth but this might be it. This might be the end of her.

After a long while of lying down on the dirty ground. He picked himself up and opened the door. He walked with his head down back to this chambers. He couldn’t just randomly go to Padme with no explanation. He needed some sort of plan.

[greanbean88]

Chapter 4: Sweet

Anakin sighed as he stepped through the doors and looked around at who he saw. Master Yoda, Windu, and Plo Koon were the only ones in the room as the others were off at missions.

Obi-Wan was infront of him and stepped off to the side so the council members could see his face.

“Young Anakin, what brings you and Obi-Wan here?” Windu stated grudgingly.

Anakin straightened his back to seem more collected of himself. Windu always saw right through him as if he were transparent.

“Anakin is here to tell you all, and me why he was not at the debrief.

“Ah yes.” Plo-Koon responded.

“Wondering where you were we did.” Yoda added on. Ears perking up in interest as to what Anakin had to say for himself.

Anakin didn’t come up with anything to say so he stood there like and idiot for a moment. Soon silence was broken with blubbering around on nonsense that somehow formed a sentence. Palpatine, no sleep, forgot, and sorry were words that were repeated over and over again. Hoping it would be enough.

It wasn’t. They all looked at him like he was a fool, which he was but luckily sparred him the explanation and let him off the hook.

Anakin took that as an opportunity to leave and immediately turned around to walk out. Trying to escape from their judging eyes. Especially from Obi-Wan. He didn’t even leave with him.

“Hiding something from us, he is.” Yoda said. Breaking the silence of the room.

“Yes he is.” Obi-Wan stated.

—

As Anakin was walking out, he felt as if someone was fallowing him. Every moment he turned around it’s as if he just missed a glimpse of their figure. It was scaring him. Recently he’s been so jittery after what happened and his paranoia has gone through the roof.

He walked swiftly towards his chambers, but just as he was about to make a turn around a corner, a hand pulled him into a storage room. It was dark and a hand was put over his face.

His eyes widened in fear and he froze. Not again! Please! He was thinking to himself. But just as he was about to verbally protest a sweet voice broke through the air as the lights were turned on. Suddenly he was embraced in a hug.

“Ani! I’ve missed you! Sorry for putting my hand over your mouth, I didn’t want you to scream.” She stated as she blushed and backed up from the hug.

What was she doing here?

Padme lent up, closed her eyes, and puckered her lips out, expecting a kiss on the lips but nothing happened. She opened one eye and furrowed her brows in confusion.

“Ani? Are you alright?”

He quickly put on a fake smile and tried to relax his shoulders. “Yes, I’m fine. I missed you so much what are you doing here?” He said as he put his hands on her shoulders.

“Well… I’m not exactly supposed to be here but I wanted to see you! The last mission you were on took such a long time…” She stated sadly.

Anakin looked at her with sorrowful eyes. They never get to see each other because he is constantly moving from mission to mission. The separation is unbearable.

“I- I know. I can’t do anything about that…”

Padme repeated her previous action and leant in to kiss Anakin. Once she did this Anakin flinched his face away violently.

Padme’s brows furrowed. “…Anakin, what is it?” As she said this she lifted her hand to rub at his arm to comfort him.

The Jedi turned his back to her and with a click, opened the door to leave. He didn’t know what to do. He wasn’t craving for physical affection at the moment. He needed to think of something fast and natural to convince her why he didn’t want to kiss her. But as he was pondering, Padme was analyzing him.

“Anakin. I keep asking if you’re okay and you don’t answer me. Look at me.” Padme demanded.

Anakin slowly turned around and they both looked at each other in the eyes. He knew at this point he couldn’t lie. He was too obvious. He just wanted to keep it a secret. He needed to keep it a secret. To protect her. To protect himself.

“It’s just… Being a Jedi is hard sometimes. I just get over worked and stressed out. I’m gonna get grey hairs before I’m 30.” Anakin chuckled.

Padme’s eyes softened and sighed. “Ani, I understand our jobs are stressful, but it is our responsibilities. But it would be nice to relax and let off some steam…” As Padme said the last sentence she started to smirk. Anakin knew what that meant and he didn’t want it right now. Not… ever. “I- ah, I don’t know. I’m just gonna train or something.” Anakin lied.

The senator deflated a bit but she replied quickly. “It’s okay. Not right now I understand.” Padme smiled and looked around the room they were in. “It’s kind of gross in here anyways.” She chuckled.

Anakin nervously laughed. Hoping she would drop this. Padme could be very persistent when she wanted to be. Sometimes it was a blessing and a curse.

“Alight well, I’m gonna go now.” Anakin said.

“Okay.” Was all Padme replied with before Anakin turned and left.

—

When Anakin reached his room he immediately layer on his bed. He felt a tightness in his chest that wouldn’t go away. He didn’t know why his eyes were starting to water or why he was always so goddamn emotional. But what he didn’t know is that something was severely wrong with him. He just wanted an out he would think to himself.

He stayed there for minutes doing nothing, thinking of everything but then nothing. He wasn’t bored he was just tired. Tired of all this work, tired of being weak, tired of failing the ones around him. He tried to sleep but when he closed his eyes he felt fear rake up his spine. As if Palpatine would appear in front of him. But the question was where was he anyways? Where has he gone? What is he doing right now? Will Palpatine do it to him again?

Anakin was so lost in the spiral of his thoughts that he started to drift off into the idea that maybe he was better off dead. He couldn’t do anything right. Can’t control his emotions. Everyone was always disappointed in him. He’s loud, rowdy, and can’t even defend himself against…

Anakin got up and went over to the broken shard of droid piece left there from earlier. He walked over to the bathroom and sat on the toilet seat. He stared at the sharp bloodied edge for a moment. No. He wasn’t going to kill himself. He was just going to do something to ease the pain in his heart. To give him something.

He rolled up his sleeve to the jedi robes he wore. horizontal beads of red dripped down his arm onto the porcelain floor. It was more comforting than last time. Not that this was intentional, it gave the effect he wanted.

[greanbean88]

Chapter 3: Altered Outlooks

The young jedi knight groaned as he woke up the next day with a loud pounding at his door from Obi-Wan.

“Anakin you need to wake up! If I don’t hear any movement in a few minutes I’m coming in!” Anakin wanted to respond with a witty remark but shot his eyes open and realized there was blood all over his bedroom. The floor was stained in crimson which wouldn’t be too difficult to get out, but his bed had a large stain where his arm was laying. He stood still for a few moments rubbing his hand in his hair not sure what to do.

He went in the bathroom to refresh himself. When he looked into the mirror he saw Purplish markings covered from the middle of his neck down to who knows where. He lifted up his shirt slowly to see what was damage was done but was too afraid and pulled his shirt down quickly. He knew he needed to change his clothes and freshen up but he was so scared at what he would see. What Palpatine did to him.

As he was lost in his thoughts his breathing started to hitch and he felt a little light headed. Anakin didn’t want Obi-Wan to sense uneasiness within the force so he leaned on the bathroom sink to ground him. He should be able to control his emotions and keep this deep inside of him. He was sure other Jedi have been through worse. Why was he being so dramatic? Anakin wondered if this is why Obi-Wan always tells him to meditate.

Scarlet liquid clashed with the white sink and swirled around into the emptiness of the drain. Anakin didn’t realize he was bleeding, for he must have opened up his wound when he abruptly leaned for the sink. He didn’t even feel it drip down his arm. He was so lost in thought, so numb in the brain that his body moved on auto pilot. One moment he’s in the bathrooms and the next he’s walking out his bedroom door trying to mask his feelings.

“Ah, finally! You came out of your cave! Now go get some food on the table. We need to go to the Jedi council so you can explain yourself.” Obi-Wan stated bluntly. He never was one to dance around in conversation.

Anakin paused as Obi-Wan said that. He did not want to explain anything whatsoever to the council. He wondered if he could somehow make up an excuse but he knew it was impossible.

The younger jedi turned around slowly to look at Obi-Wan. “Why do I have to go to the jedi council?” It was better to just act dumb Anakin reasoned with himself. It’s not like he was exceptionally smart.

“So you can explain yourself? I’m not letting you off that easy and the council wants an explanation.” Obi-Wan deadpanned as if it was obvious. Crossing his arms over his chest.

“B-but-“

“No buts Anakin, just because you are the chosen one doesn’t mean rules don’t apply to you.” Obi-Wan said harshly, eyes cold.

Anakin’s eyes widened in shock. “Oh.” Was all he could say. How could his own master say that to him. When had he ever acted like rules didn’t apply to him? He wondered. But as he thought he realized there were a multitude of times when he broke the rules and got away with it. Maybe all of it was catching up to him.

“Yeah so go get some food and let’s go.”

—

Obi-Wan kept eyeing Anakin suspiciously as they were walking to the council. He was all jerky with his movements and he was extremely quiet.

“Are you okay young one?” Obi-Wan questioned. “I am fine.” Anakin said. But he really wasn’t. He was so focused on masking his emotions he didn’t realize how skeptical he looked and was acting.

Obi-Wan just accepted that statement as they both walked into the room that decided Anakin’s fate.

[greanbean88]

Chapter 2: Realizations

Anakin woke up a few hours later dizzy and confused. He tried to get up but his body ached in places it never has before. A rush of realization hit him and before Anakin could lift himself off the ground he threw up. Disgusted at himself at how he could let that happen. Why wasn’t he strong enough? Why couldn’t he fight it? When he told him to stop why didn’t he?

He sat there for minutes trying to collect what self-worth he had left and tried again to get up. He groaned in frustration but stood up on shaking legs.

His clothes were back but his dignity wasn’t. He leaned on the wall next to him pushing himself as he dragged himself slowly along. He worried if Palpatine was going to keep him locked up or tell the Jedi order about him and Padme. But once he reached the door to leave, that was the least of his problems.

Now his only concern left was if someone would see him in his disheveled outfit. They would all know. They would all tell.

He wasn’t sure how late it was but decided anything was better than daylight. So he walked slowly out the door, leaning on the walls. He tried to walk as fast as he could but had to pause for a moment. His legs were shaking so much and he was breathing so hard. But after a few moments he started again.

It took some time but he made it back to his room. He tried to act as natural as possible when he saw Obi-Wan in their dorm looking extremely irritated.

He was sitting on the couch leg creased over the other and brows furrowed. “Where were you?! I had to do that report all by myself!” He exclaimed as he lifted his hands up.

Anakin had to think of something reasonable quickly. “I was..” He was about to say that he was with the Chancellor but knew better. Who knows what else he will do to him. “I’m sorry.” Was all Anakin said. Looking quite defeated.

Obi-Wan stood up and walked over to with a fast pace Anakin. His mood was evidently annoyed but had a hit of sadness in it. “I’m sorry? That’s all you have to say? You know what I don’t even want to know where you were off to… Just be more responsible Anakin.” He ended off with a sigh and turned around before Anakin could eventually get a word in.

—

Anakin was in his room sitting on the bed all he could do was think of what happened. There wasn’t much he remembered, only the feeling of despair and extreme fear. The touch of hands in places no one has ever touched before. How uncomfortable he was. But luckily it was over when he passed out. Who knows what else happened.

But just thinking about it made him feel so scared. As if Palpatine would show up any minute and do it again. Anakin payed on the bed with his back turned away from the wall. He tried to sleep but he realized he was still in his dirty clothes and his dirty skin. But he felt no energy to get up, he felt like he deserved this. As a punishment. If he was strong enough he would have known Palpatine was an evil person.

“Maybe Padme would want a visit?” This statement made Anakin gasp in fear. “Please no, keep her out of this!” He wailed.

Tears started to form in his eyes. As he remembered hearing that. Anakin started to think maybe he deserved that treatment. Maybe that’s his karma for acting such a jerk all these years. Everything always comes in full circle. Maybe this is a test of being a jedi? Did Obi-Wan go through the same thing. Was Anakin a disappointment because he couldn’t hurry his feelings and meditate as he should. He’s an emotional person, he’s human, he has feelings.

As Anakin delved into his thoughts he had this sense of numbness wash over him. He just wanted an out and to feel something. To feel worth it. It was a sick and twisted thought but he wondered if he was good. If Palpatine enjoyed it or if it was just a punishment he had to enforce.

Anakin turned around again on his bed. The sheets were scratching at his dirty skin on his face. His clothes were sticking to him. He needed to take it off but he knew he wouldn’t like what he would see. So Anakin turned off the lights and took off his clothes and threw them somewhere. His body still ached but not as much as earlier. He tried walking over to his dresser but tripped over a droid part in his room. As he fell down a piece of it slashed at his arm. It hurt bad but slightly comforting. He always wanted to try this but was too scared. Afraid he would go too far, but if it was an accident was it his fault? Was it his fault he just wants comforting no one would give to him but he would give to others? He deserved to have what he wanted.

He stayed on the ground but sat upright and leaned against his bed. He looked down at his arm intently and red dripped down his leg.

It made him a little scared at how much was flowing out from what he could see but it felt nice. So he got up slowly and put on his night clothes and went back into bed. Falling asleep just as the sun was rising.

[greanbean88]

Chapter 1: Palpatine

Anakin smiled sadly and straightened his back. “Same as always. You know..”. He stated as his eyes drifted off towards clones being unloaded from the ship onto stretchers. They all had a cloth covering their faces. His jaw tightened in frustration and he looked down. Obi-Wan notice this and put his hand on his right shoulder. “We try our best, we can’t save everyone.” He solemnly stated.

Palpatine shook his head in agreement. “Right you are Master Kenobi. Anakin you tried your best that’s all that matters.” As he said this, he raised his hand and placed it on Anakin’s free shoulder.

Anakin’s head, that was lowered in sadness, looked up into Palpatine’s eyes.

“Well, me and Obi-Wan have to go.. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yes! Yes! Go do that, I wouldn’t want to hold the both of you.” Palpatine urged.

Obi-Wan removed his hand from Anakin’s shoulder and started walking towards the Jedi Temple. Anakin followed behind him.

—

Palpatine walked behind Anakin as they entered his office. “Chancellor Palpatine, may I tell you something?.“ Anakin said as he walked into the office. “You can tell me anything Anakin.” He said in a playful manner.

Anakin looked slightly annoyed, but not at the Chancellor but at the council. “I get the feeling that the Jedi council is excluding me.” Palpatine sat down at his desk and furrowed his brows and sighed. “It’s upsetting to me that the council doesn’t seem to fully appreciate your talents. Don’t you wonder why they won’t make you a Jedi master?”

Anakin paced back and forth in front of the desk stuck in his thoughts. Why didn’t they he wondered. He’s strong enough and has so much experience. Anakin looked up into Palpatine’s eyes. “I wish I knew… I know there are things about the force that they are not telling me.”

The Chancellor got up and gestured Anakin to take a stroll with him. “They don’t trust you Anakin.” He stated bluntly.

“But why?” Anakin asked. Palpatine turned to Anakin and rubbed his chin. “That’s my question too. You are obviously the strongest and destined for the best. But the views of the Jedi are limiting.”

“Really?” Anakin was confused. Where was this conversation going?

Palapatine stoped walking and faced Anakin. “The dogmatic narrow views of the Jedi. If you want to become a complete and wise leader, you must embrace… a larger view of the force.” As Palpatine was saying this Anakin started to sweat. Was he hearing this correctly? He started to circle around the Chancellor in slight fear. “Only through me can you achieve a power greater than any Jedi will… you will be able to save your wife…from certain death.”

Anakin froze. He knows. Anakin thought. Palpatine somehow figured out the relationship between him and Padme! Little did Anakin know that Palpatine was using this as leverage.

“Yes I know about you and Padme. I’m not quite sure how the jedi council will react to this information…” Palpatine stated.

Anakin gasped in shock and his eyes widened in fear. He practically jumped up. “Please! Don’t say anything! I’ll do anything! Just don’t say anything! The council already hates me…” Anakin said rapidly, begging for his secret to be kept.

Palpatine felt that this opportunity will benefit him greatly but looked at him with a thoughtful expression. “Learn the dark side and save your wife.” He said as he smiled sinisterly.

Anakin was desperate for the Chancellor not to say anything. If he did he could be expelled and publicly humiliated! The jedi council already doesn’t like him and this would only make things worse! He was also was scared of what else the Chancellor could do but realized fear is what leads to the dark side. He couldn’t let Obi-Wan down and fall that quickly. He shook his head from his thoughts took a step back and pulled out his lightsaber.

His faced hardened with determination. “No, this is wrong and I will hand you over to the Council.”

Palpatine cackled in a mocking manner. “You will try.”

Suddenly a chill formed in the hallway. Anakin knew he wouldn’t win but still tried his hardest. Palpatine was on another level of strength that he would never achieve. One moment he was swinging his saber, and the next moment it was across the hallway and he was on the ground groaning. Palpatine used Sith lightning on him and pinned him down ceasing his movements.

“You knew you wouldn’t win… If you join me, you may be able to beat me one day.” Palpatine said imitating sincerity. Smiling and at this moment Anakin realized how sinister he looked. Old and wrinkly, yellow crooked teeth, pale and ugly.

“No! Never!” Anakin tried to move but his body hurt too much. He just needed to reach his saber. Palpatine still held him down and came to an amazing thought. He used the force to make sure Anakin wouldn’t be able to move and got up. He locked his office door and made sure to send a message to Obi-Wan that him and Anakin were having a long discussion and he may keep him for awhile. Then he headed back to the hallway and looked at Anakin pitifully.

“You should have joined me. This could have been easier…”

Anakin shook in appreciation, afraid of what Palpatine will do. Anakin stumbled on his words. Nothing forming properly from his mouth. “W-What are you going to do to me?”

Palpatine leaned in close and said into his ear “What you deserve.” Then started to peel off his robes.

Anakin started to tremble in trepidation.

“What… What… No!” He couldn’t believe this. He is so strong how did he get himself into this situation? He was about to be raped by someone he trusted!

“This is what happens when you don’t listen to me. When you misbehave.”