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UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PLEASE GOD MAYBE LET ME MAKE FRIENDS WITH HYENA GIRL . IF SHE WANTS TO. IF SHE WONT RIP ME TO SHREDS
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oh dear fukcing god this is not ever ever ever ever what i intended to happen. i am so fucking upset that this hurts you enough to split an entire new headmate WHO I THEN ACCIDENTALLY MESSAGED????????? I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA I DIDNT EVEN LOOK i literally want to hide in a cave forever i love you so much this is fuckijg awful i dont understand why you keep coming back to me like you have another person you can go get whatever you wanf why ME. i know why i wanf you BUT WHY DO YOU WANT ME????? SINCE IM ABUSIVE APPARENTLY??????? i hurt you severely obviously and i understand that and it was fucking awful, i am sure i hurt you terribly, i will not defend any of my behavior, but i do genuinely think we just fucking drove each other crazy. i don’t believe i would have acted like that if i wasn’t being pushed to my limits constantly and i don’t think you would either if i hadn’t been pushing you. i am not upset about people being upset with me about it. i’m upset about our individual people taking sides so hard because i know you i know you love me and i know i love you and i think we both just kinda lost it. and now it’s been a month and for some reason you keep coming back and i keep indulging and now you have a hyena girl???????? JESUS FUCKIGN CHRIST I DONT KNOW HOW TO OPERATE THIS. I swear to god messaging 5 min after the intro post was a complete accident i literally did not check and now here we are . i don’t even dare respond i’m just gonna wait. i deleted everything on my other blog purely out of panic because obviously letting you see that is harmful so i’m not gonna do that anymore. i am so fucking full of guilt right now i have no idea what to do. i don’t know who’s right, i can’t make anybody like me more, there’s literally nothing i can do, but please fucking decide for me because i can’t do it. please be the bigger person and cut me off if you’re gonna do it. you’ve always been older and whatever like i understand the situation is complicated but i have no power now. if you’re gonna do it just FUCKING DO IT
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