graceisabelle

[graceisabelle]

one more lonely night in my bedroom, sitting in my underwear with candles as my light source.

the dried glitter under my eyes resembles tears in the moonlight.

it reminds me of youth, being a kid.

face paint, pastel pink & the same cat cake my mother baked me every birthday, with licorice whiskers.

i don't care for birthday cake now, i tell her to buy whatever cheap grocery store one everyone will enjoy.

when i was little, about eight, i wanted to be my older sister so badly.

i liked the thought of freedom you get once you grow up, a boyfriend, makeup and short skirts. it's nothing like i thought.

to be a teenage girl, is simply hell.

dissecting my body until it's nothing, sobbing over every man that leaves, acting older than i am, becoming a whore at fourteen.

hot wax burning my skin, feeling super suicidal, daily prescription pills, counting calories, backstabbing and loving too hard.

i'd trade anything in the world to be young forever, to be back in my mothers arms as she sang "you are my sunshine" to me every night.

i don't know when she stopped.

"please don't take my sunshine away."

sometimes i still wish i left, but i'll stay for her.

i'll start baking her the same cat cake for her birthdays and make homemade cards with colored paper and sparkly stickers.

i'll start dotting my i's with little hearts, and apply eyeshadow with my fingertips once again.

i'll wear ribbons in my hair, and listen to the 60s music my grandma played while she taught little me how to bake a pie.

i'll embrace my sensitivity, and cry when i have to, i won't suppress my rage, i'll be wild and free.

i'll hold onto youth, and miss the old grace in silence.

written by grace isabelle

[graceisabelle]

about me! ❀

my name is grace isabelle, i'm a writer who mainly writes poems and songs

you can find my main blog - here

everything on this blog is my original work!