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Oop I lied
Not me being a girlfriend 🧍🏼♀️ wow
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the fuck is a resume bitch give me the job
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Have so many things I need to do but literally can’t do anything besides lay in bed and fuck around on my phone. Even opening my laptop makes me feel sick and need to go grocery shopping but struggling to get up. Annoying how stress & anxiety are so debilitating and just leads to even more stress bc I can’t do things till the last second. Just want to be held and cry all day
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I did it
(Not my designs)
Think I’m gonna paint tomorrow because I haven’t in a long time…and it will be a nice distraction even though I really don’t have the time to be distracted but oh well.
Also all this motivation to do my hobbies/art like finally committing to learning a song & painting stem from listening to Cigarettes After Sex which I only started listening to because French boy mentioned them the night we met. Now I can’t stop listening and idk my mind feels like it’s falling apart, think I’m losing it but at least my life has a good soundtrack to what feels like my doom
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Think I’m gonna paint tomorrow because I haven’t in a long time…and it will be a nice distraction even though I really don’t have the time to be distracted but oh well.
Also all this motivation to do my hobbies/art like finally committing to learning a song & painting stem from listening to Cigarettes After Sex which I only started listening to because French boy mentioned them the night we met. Now I can’t stop listening and idk my mind feels like it’s falling apart, think I’m losing it but at least my life has a good soundtrack to what feels like my doom
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I know my mental state is at a bad place when I start posting a lot more on tumblr… really need to just pick my journal up again but tumblr has always felt like that safe spot for me
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Fuck I want to live the life I dream of so badly, yet I’m so terrified to start working to finance those dreams & getting caught up in a job I don’t like and realizing life won’t be what I’d hoped
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Learned my first song on guitar today, beginner version just 4 chords with same strumming pattern throughout the entire thing but still felt good to finally be able to play something
Song was Affection- Cigarettes After Sex
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Have a crush on a boy, French boy, I met my last night in London. We still talk & makes me feel like a little girl the way I get so excited about it, haven’t had a crush like this in a while. Also have a feeling I’m so into this crush bc I know I can’t have him & he just distracts from all the stress of life I’m trying to avoid right now but yeah oh well. Guess I’ll enjoy this feeling while it lasts. Also my friends have asked if he wasn’t foreign if I’d be into him & while he is my type looks wise regardless, idk I think I’m turned off by American men, I genuinely can’t picture myself with one, so yeah definitely helps that he has French charm. Such a cool dude
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