gotta-love-writers

[gotta-love-writers]

Monsters Together

Avengers Loki x Avengers Female Reader

Summary: Loki and Reader are close friends, she's the angel to his devil and both have feelings for the other that they refuse to admit, but what happens when he finds out she's not as angelic as he thought?

Warnings: Fluff and angst, Jotun! Loki makes an appearance, comfort, Reader sees herself as a monster.

Note: Reader is Lucifer Morningstars (From the show Lucifer) daughter. No use of Y/N. This is my first story on here so please give me feedback!

Everybody at Stark Tower absolutely adored you. Making things for everyone once they got back from missions was your specialty but you also loved to just hug and be affectionate with everybody too. You had been on a small handful of missions but you hated hurting people and so your usual job was to use your wings to scout out places from above, though most times Tony just used his drones. You didn't mind missing out on the action, you often preferred to be sitting in and reading anyhow. Whether it was bear hugging Nat after a successful reconnaissance assignment, baking Thor some homemade pop-tarts, or making little origami figures for Sam, you loved to give. And that went for everybody, including Loki.

He began with pretending not to care about your affections, choosing to go to his room when you'd try to talk to him in the library or seeming indifferent about your baking. But your friendship slowly grew and blossomed. You were the only person at Stark Tower who actually treated Loki nicely and took an interest in the things he spoke about or liked. Though he'd never admit it, he was incredibly grateful for your seemingly never ending kindness. The two of you became quite close and you grew feelings for the asgardian rather quickly.

However, you knew you could never tell him how you felt. Because despite what everybody thought of you, you knew the truth. You were no angel, quite the opposite infact. You were the daughter of Lucifer himself and that technically made you a demon. You were determined to prove everybody wrong, you did not have to be bad because of your heritage. You were a monster when you were a teenager, it's why Fury put you on the team. He knew the harm you were capable of and talked you into helping, but you'd made him promise that your past stayed between the two of you. You'd let your anger get the better of you when a group of humans were committing horrific acts in the name of your father, claiming it's what he wished for.

You and your father had an rocky relationship but you still cared for him deeply, and you weren't going to let some humans make him feel responsible for their actions, even though you knew your father could handle it. So you slaughtered them. A whole group of satanists gone just like that. That was the day you'd realized you'd become exactly what everybody thought you'd be, and you vowed to never let that happen again. You would not become your father. So it was for the best that you were rarely put on missions, you wouldn't be able to hurt people that way.

Loki was also rarely allowed on missions, despite being at Stark Tower and causing relatively no trouble for nearly two years. It aggravated you that they treated him so. After the New York incident, he had done nothing but keep to himself and mostly do what he was asked. You had only ever know him as the introverted, sarcastic, and handsome man who would occasionally read to you if you had a bad day (even if he made you swear you'd never tell anyone). So the fact that they told you to 'babysit' him while they were on mission and make jabs at him or leave him out all the time made you livid. You had never really gotten angry with the avengers though, you controlled your temper and would reprimand them calmly for their behavior. Though, they never really listened.

You woke up on the wrong side of the bed one particular morning, neck aching from sleeping wrong and mouth incredibly parched. You stood from your bed and promptly tripped on your way to your closet. Okay seriously? Today's going to be one of those days? You thought to yourself. Getting changed into a comfy sweater and determined to make today a good day, you headed to the kitchen for a glass of water. You found Bucky, Steve, and Sam in the kitchen chatting. You smiled at the welcome sight of your friend's.

"Good morning doll," Bucky gave you a soft smile. "Yeah good morning," Steve greeted. "Hey guess what?" Sam asked. You wanted to groan in annoyance at being asked a question right after you woke up but instead you entertained his antics with a smile. "What?" You asked tiredly. "Goooood morning!" He beamed. You giggled. "Good morning to you guys too," You couldn't help the smile spread across your face, despite the bad morning, you had your friend's to cheer you up even when they didn't know anything was wrong.

Bucky gave you a quizzical smile and a raised brow, before you could ask what was up he spoke. "Doll, is that my sweater?" You laughed, "Oh its yours? I saw it on the couch yesterday and took it. Finders keepers you know. It's so soft!" You smiled and rubbed the fabric of the sleeve against your cheek. You hadn't noticed Loki enter, which meant you also hadn't notice the frown that he bore at the notion of you wearing Bucky's sweater. He turned heel and left without anybodys notice. You weren't the only one starting off with a bad morning.

After breakfast you ran into Natasha whom you discussed a movie night with. She told you that she'd invite everybody to watch the new horror movie with you in a few nights. You made sure she meant everyone. Last time, unbeknownst to you, they didn't even tell Loki about it. When he didn't show, you went to his room and promptly realized what happened. You calmly informed everyone that the next time Loki wasn't included in any events invite, you wouldn't be going either. Everybody groaned and whined but you stuck to your guns and ended up skipping T's next party because of Lokis lack of invitation. The memory made you frown and want to go see Loki but you relented. The asgardian did enjoy his alone time and you didn't want to be too annoying or clingy.

You hadn't seen Loki all morning, and while it wasn't entirely unusual, it still saddened you a little. You were trying to ignore your rather disappointing and upsetting morning by watching your favorite movie on the couch when Tony walked in, laughing along with Thor. Thors voice boomed as he spoke. "Yes! I agree!" "I mean I think Loki is still just a sad little boy who can't accept who he really is." Tony laughed at his own statement. Today was not the day. White hot anger shot through you. You honestly didn't know what got into you but you were tired of people talking about Loki like that and especially tired of people taking your kindness as weakness. That bullshit was about to stop.

"What the fuck, Tony?" You snapped, standing from the couch. Both he and Thors eyebrows shot up in surprise. Not only did you just snap at them and swear, but you always called Tony 'T' as a nickname. Even when you were reprimanding him like you were his mother, you used the nickname. He took a step back wearily. "Uhm okay let's calm down for a second-". "No I'm not going to fucking calm down! You treat Loki like shit all the fucking time and you talk about him like he's nothing! And Thor! Condoning this? Loki is your brother! And you wonder why he despises you," You laughed cruelly, upper lip curling into a snarl. "My Lady I appreciate your concern for my brother but you do not know him like I do. He is fine and he can certainly handle a few jokes." "The way you treat him is not a joke, Thor!" Your fists were clenched and you chest was heaving. You could feel yourself shaking with anger and you took a couple deep breaths in a desperate attempt to calm down.

"Darling is everything alright? I heard you yelling?" Loki stepped into the room, Natasha and the super soldiers in tow. His brows were furrowed in concern as he stepped towards you. "Oh come on, you're a monster don't pretend like you give a shit about an angel like her." Your head snapped towards Tony's voice. You saw red and you couldn't think. You had made it vehemently clear when you showed the team your wings to not call you angel. Even as a nickname. You weren't an angel.

You lunged for him. Clamoring ontop of him and you did not pull any punches. You weren't even aware you were screaming until you stopped. Loki clamped his arms down over yours and pried you off of Tony. He led you away gently as Thor grabbed Tony and began leading him to the infirmary. You looked around. Eyes darting from the damage done to Tony's face to the people, your friend's, staring at you, they knew what you were. A monster. You looked up at Loki, wide eyed as tears began to well up. "Lokes, can we please go?" Your voice shook as you spoke, lips trembling. "Of course, dove, of course." You used to adore that nickname, now it just felt like a name born of a lie. Doves were innocent and beautiful, and you were, well, you.

Loki carried you to his room where he gently placed you to sit on his bed. He sat next to you but said nothing. You'd never known him to be the type at a loss for words but right now he said nothing. He shot you a few glances as you tried to hold yourself together. You will not cry infront of him. Do not be weak. You tried but you just couldn't keep it together. You began to sob. Loki pulled you into him, rubbing circles on your back with his left hand and lightly grabbing your waist with his right. You relaxed in his embrace and sniffled into his shirt.

"Darling, you don't have to defend me you know? Especially not if it makes you feel like this." That statement made you want to cry even harder, but you steeled yourself and pulled away from him, even if it broke you. "Loki defending you doesn't make me feel this way, they do. You don't deserve to be treated like that and they never listen." Your voice shook but you refused to cry again. "It's okay my little dove, I can handle it. And besides, I am a monster, I do deserve it." You stiffened. Your jaw clenched and you slapped him across the face lightly. "You are not a monster. You are amazing Loki. Do not ever let anybody tell you any different." You cupped his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you. He stood angrily. "Yes I am! Do you not remember the attack on New York?! Are you dull?!" "Loki-" "No, you do not understand. I am a monster." "Really Loki? Because monsters don't read to their friends when they have a bad day. Monsters don't help their enemies, monsters don't try to fix their mistakes, Loki, monsters don't-" "Enough!" Loki changed. The once pale, green eyed, asgardian that you fell for became a blue-skinned, red-eyed, Jotun that was fuming with anger. You gasped. "Now you see. How monstrous I truly am. How worthy am I of your kindness now?" "Loki," You paused, debating on what to say. You took a breath and began to speak, slowly standing and stepping towards him as you did.

"Lokes, what you look like does not dictate who you are. Who you were born as is not who you are destined to be. I do not show you kindness because I think you're a saint. I show you kindness because I've been there Lokes. I know what it's like. And I know that hurt people hurt people. I don't care if you never tell me who hurt you but I refuse to become one of the people in that group. Don't let anybody but yourself tell you who you are going to be. I've never known you to let anybody tell you a damn thing before." You gave him a weak smile as you took his hands in yours. His skin was freezing but you didn't mind. "You are beautiful Loki, the most handsome being I've ever laid eyes on, yes even like this. It pains me that you cannot see that." His brows furrowed as his eyes searched yours. "Do you truly believe that darling?" He spoke softly, like he couldn't quite find his voice. You nodded. "How? Why do you not see me as everyone else does?"

Your wings carefully opened, usually everyone would speak about how the dark grey made you look beautiful, but not now. Now they were different. The once gray and beautiful feathered wings were now bat-like, deep red skin webbed between the black structures of the wings that pointed to a tip at the top, reminiscent of horns. "Because, I've been there too. I know what's it's like thinking your a monster, Lokes." You pressed your lips together in worry. Searching his eyes for a reaction. He pulled his left hand from yours as he brought it to your cheek. He lowered his head and pressed his lips to yours. Melting into the kiss, you reached up and tangled your hands in his hair. His right hand fell to your waist and pulled you into him. You wished you could stay in this moment forever. He pulled away, much to your disappointment.

"If we are monsters, Lokes, than we can be monsters together."