gooseraider

[gooseraider]

gf!ellie headcannons

gf!ellie who’s completely enamored by you. she loves everything about you, from the little details you put into your appearance to your kind and loving soul.

gf!ellie who plans dates so meticulously, making sure they’re absolutely perfect for you. you’ve always wanted to see floating lanterns? done. ellie’s already planned the date and time, tells you exactly how to dress because she knows you’ll want to take pictures.

gf!ellie who helps you helps you get ready everyday. always helping you choose an outfit when needed or helping you curl your hair if you’re too tired or don’t have enough time.

gf!ellie who buys you whatever you want. you always tell her she shouldn’t spend her money on you but she insists saying something along the lines of, “i want to, you’re worth every penny spent.”

gf!ellie who refuses to let you hold any of your bags. she will walk around the mall with 5 bags in her hands but she won’t care because your hands are bag free.

gf!ellie who says sweet things to you just to see you smile. always saying something cheesy like, “you’re like a shooting star in the night sky.” “you’re the only girl i’d give the last slice of pizza to.” “i must be a mouse with the way you got me cheesin.”

gf!ellie who lets you sit in her lap at all times. normally hates when people interrupt her while she’s gaming but you, you can go up to her and climb in her lap and she won’t say a thing, just holding you close.

gf!ellie who fills up your water bottle for you if you’re too tired or just don’t want to do it.

gf!ellie who will make tiktoks with you whenever you want. random tiktok dance? she’ll learn it and do it with you. dumb tiktok trend? already agreeing to do it.

gf!ellie who always keeps an extra hair tie on her wrist in case you want to put your hair up.

gf!ellie has cds from your favorite artists in her car for when you’re the car together. if your favorite artists releases a new album ellie’s already purchasing the cd for her car.

gf!ellie who lets you lay in her lap while you talk about your recent obsession. her fingers gently stroking your hair as you talk about the new show you’re watching.

gf!ellie who if you collect figurines, she’ll always search for the ones you don’t have. will literally scour the internet for days until she finds the last figure you need for your collection.

gf!ellie who makes you do the trend where you make bracelets based off your partner’s eye color. she never takes the bracelet off btw.

gf!ellie who always sends you edits of your favorite characters. you’ll wake up to 20+ texts from ellie and they’re all tiktok links.

gf!ellie who gives you handwritten letters all the time. sometimes their love letters, other times they’re random letters talking about her day.

gf!ellie who makes you coordinate your outfits on occasions. matching hoodies, same color shirts, matching socks.

gf!ellie who lets you practice makeup looks on her. will be sat in a chair for hours, you in her lap as you try to perfect the eyeshadow look you were going for.

gf!ellie who buys you guys matching stuffed animals

gf!ellie who always holds your hand. literally everywhere you guys go her hand is in yours. never lets go of your hand no matter what. even when eating your hands are still connected

gf!ellie who buys you a red lipstick just so you can kiss her with it on. she loves when you leave kiss marks on her.

gf!ellie who unironically post thirst traps on tiktok and lowkey goes viral. always puts the #ilovemygf in the caption and will tell people she’s married whenever someone flirts with her.

gf!ellie who makes you cut her hair when it gets too long. says she only trusts you to cut her hair right.

gf!ellie who’s extremely clingy, will be attached by your side all day. goes with you everywhere, will even walk with you to the mailbox.

gf!ellie who takes a freakish amount of .5 photos of you. has over 500 photos of you doing random things in .5

gf!ellie who smacks your butt every time you walk past her, will sometimes yell gyatt if she’s feeling funny.

gf!ellie who crawls under your shirt when cuddling if she’s cold.

gf!ellie who checks your location on life 360 and texts you a screenshot of your location saying i see you.

gf!ellie who always tries to play wrestle with you, will have you pinned to the bed gloating about how she’s stronger than you (she lowkey isn’t) and will begin to tickle you is she starts losing.

gf!ellie who buys you guys matching labubus because she thinks they’re cute. she’ll get mad at you if you call them ugly.

gf!ellie who’s under every one of your posts commenting the most outrageous things like mommy i’m hungry 😩 scissor sister 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 i busted a nut after seeing this 🤤 has gotten banned before from the things she’s commented.

gf!ellie who needs mandatory cuddle time, especially in the morning. if you try to get up early in the morning she’ll grab your waist and pull closer to her, quietly begging for 30 more minutes of cuddles.

gf!ellie who will fake propose to you using a ring pop.

gf!ellie who kisses you mid conversation, not to shit you up or anything but because she just wanted to kiss you.

gf!ellie who keeps a polaroid with your kiss mark on it in her wallet at all times. will stare at it randomly when she misses you.

gf!ellie who writes in her journal about how much she loves you. she will have pages and pages just about how much she loves and how she wants to marry you. may or may not have written future wedding vows for you.

[gooseraider]

bsf!ellie who you’re in love with

the ding from your phone pulls you away from the skincare routine you were doing. glancing at your phone, ellie’s contact lights up your screen.

i’m outside.

you look at your phone confused, quickly typing out a response.

my window or front door?

your door silly, let me innn

ellie’s message wasn’t a surprise, she’d often come over to your house at odd hours claiming she just wanted to see you or missed your face.

i’ll be down in a minute

finishing your routine, frog headband that was a gift from ellie still on your head. you quietly run downstairs to greet ellie.

opening the door, you’re met with ellie’s lopsided grin.

“hi.” she says, rocking back slightly on her heels

you smile, “hi.”

ellie walks inside, closing the door behind her. walking closer to you, she pulls you in for a hug. “i missed you.”

you giggle, wrapping your arms around her and resting your head on her shoulder. “i saw you like three hours ago.”

she wraps her arms around you tighter, mumbling into your head. “i still missed you.”

pulling apart, she grabs your hand and begins to guide you towards the stairs.

pulling her back, you whisper yell at her. “leave your shoes!”

letting go of your hand as she begins to untie her shoes, she looks up at you questioning. “won’t your parents know i’m here?”

you laugh, rolling your eyes. “you act like your some forbidden lover who can’t step foot inside my house. besides, they won’t care. they love you.”

grabbing her hand, you take her upstairs to your bedroom. you’re briefly standing near your bed before ellie’s arms wrap around your waist, pushing you onto your bed. nearly tackling you into the pillows.

“ellie!” you screech, startled by the sudden contact.

she groans into your chest, her body resting onto of yours. “i was so bored without you.”

you laugh, beginning to gently play with the hair on her head. “glad to see my presence was missed.”

she sits up, arms on either side of your head. holding herself up as she looks down at you.

“i always miss you.” she admits, eyes looking deeply into yours.

your face heats up at her comment, dismissing it you ask. “what do you wanna do?”

“lay here with you.” she plops back down on top of you.

you let out a breath, “that’s it?”

she pushes her body further into yours, her voice muffled as she speaks into your shoulder. “yup, you’re all i need.”

at some point you two made it under the covers, both face to face in the dimly lit bedroom. it’s quiet for a while, both of you silently admiring each other.

your eyes are focused on ellie’s, you always loved her eyes. the green color that was so pretty, so inviting you want to jump in. ellie’s soft voice pulls you away from your thoughts.

“i wanna marry you.” she says so casually, her hand mindlessly rubbing up and down your arm.

“me too.” you reply.

both of you joked around like this, always planning your future together. many pinterest boards dedicated to the imaginary future you two share together.

“like for real.” she repeats her previous statement once again.

going along with the joke you say the same thing as before. “yeah me too.”

she smiles, “okay.”

you smile back, “okay.”

it’s silent for a moment before she speaks again, “what would our wedding song be?”

“blackbird because it’s your favorite.” you whisper into the air.

“that’s sweet, i was thinking pink pony club.”

you hold in a laugh, “you can’t be serious.”

a smile appears on her face, “very serious.”

she goes to say something else, you speak before she can. “this feels wrong.”

“why?” concern evident on her face

“we can’t get married as friends because it would just be a friend wedding, it wouldn’t be as special.”

her expression changes, turning to something more smug. “well what do we do about that?”

your body heats up at the sound of her voice, low and raspy. you turn away from her, hiding your face in your pillow. mumbling a barley audible i don’t know.

gently coaxing you to face her, her hand comes to your cheek. leaning in and planting a soft kiss to your lips. she pulls away, giggling at the shocked expression on your face.

“a not so friendly kiss, that’s the first part.” she says lowly, hand still resting on your face.

you hesitantly ask, “what’s the second?”

a small smile makes its way onto her face as she begins to speak. “will you be my girlfriend?”

“yes!” you dramatically throw your arms in the air, thinking she’s joking.

she rolls her eyes at your dramatic response. “i’m serious, will you be my girlfriend?”

her tone makes your look at her, noticing her shy but serious expression. “wait actually?”

her face begins to redden, slightly hiding in your pillow as she quickly mutters, “yeah i’m like lowkey in love with you.”

her response catches you by surprise, butterflies erupt at her confession. after realize wasn’t joking, you quietly respond. “i’m lowkey in love with you too.”

“you better not be joking or i will haunt you forever.” she says playfully.

“honest, i am.” you reply.

“how long?” she asks, looking into your eyes.

“what?”

her voice is low, “how long have you liked me?”

you feel your face begging to burn at the question. “you tell me first, it’s embarrassing.”

“ten months.” she admits.

you cover your face with your hands, quietly telling her how long you’ve liked her. “two years.”

she gasps, gently hitting your shoulder. “and you didn’t tell me!”

dragging your hands down your face, you whine. “what was i supposed to say, hey ellie i’m in love you and all i want to do is kiss you and tell you how pretty you are.”

she giggles, “yes exactly that.”

“well you know now.”

“i do.” she pulls you closer to her by the waist.

she kisses you, deeper than the first time.

“i love you.” she confesses.

“i love you.”

she kisses you again.

you smile, pulling away from the kiss.

“now we can actually get married.” you whisper against her lips.

[gooseraider]

Can we have more Wife!Ellie? I loved how you wrote that one "Mrs. Williams" you write GREAT in general. I love it. 🫂

kisses and flowers

a/n: wife!ellie is a glasses wearer (it’s true she told me herself)

you turn to ellie, interrupting the silence that fell over the living room. “i think our house needs more color.”

looking up from her book, she looks at you. “what do you mean?”

gesturing to the decorations around your house. “i just think that our house could use more color, it’s very cozy fall vibes but it needs to be cozy and fun y’know?”

“we have tons of plants isn’t that colorful?” pointing to the giant fig plant next to the fireplace.

“that’s one color, we need more colors like pink, blue, orange.”

she rolled her eyes with a smile on her face, “what were you thinking?”

“flowers, we should get a bunch of flowers and put them around the house.”

you stand up from the couch, walking all over the house to show ellie where the flowers can go. “we can put some near the back door, they’ll have a perfect amount of sunlight.”

you’re in the kitchen now, “we can put a bouquet of flowers in the kitchen, and they’ll smell super good when we’re cooking!”

ellie let’s out a laugh, “babe, when do we ever actually cook in our kitchen?”

you close your mouth for a second, thinking of an answer. “well… you’re right but maybe it’s a sign to start cooking.”

“i love your optimism.” she says sarcastically.

your hands find your hips, a fake annoyed expression on your face. “i’m being serious, we can become professional chefs if we actually start cooking.”

she rolls her eyes, “you’re funny, are you actually serious about buying a shit ton of flowers though?”

you walk over to the back of the couch, fingers gently tapping against ellie’s head. “yes! now get up so we can go to the flower shop.”

leaning her head back to look at you, she lets out a groan. “right now?”

your fingers begin to trace random shapes against her cheeks, “yes.”

she closes her eyes, mumbling “but the couch is so comfy.”

“when we come back we can cuddle on the couch for the rest of the day okay?”

“you promise?”

you lean down, placing a kiss on her lips. “yep.”

“m’kay, i’ll be ready in a minute.” she says, lifting herself off the couch and up the stairs.

ellie comes back downstairs moments later, worn flannel covering her shoulders and car keys in hand.

you’re standing near the door watching ellie as she walks towards you. your hands coming up to her hair to move a stray hair. “you look really cute with your glasses.”

her face flushes a bright red, “shut up.”

even after several years of knowing ellie, she still couldn’t take a compliment. always turning bright red and quickly dismissing it. even on your wedding day when you shared your vows she quietly mumbled stop under her breath, looking down to hide the tears falling down her face that was already beet red.

you stick your hands out, gesturing to the keys in ellie’s hand. “gimme those.”

“these?” she asks, holding the keys up.

“mhm, i wanna drive.”

she shakes her head, a small smirk making its way onto her face.

a whine escapes your lips, “you always drive though.”

“yeah because i like driving you around, my cute little passenger princess.” she teases, leaving a kiss on your lips before walking past you and leaving out the door.

“hey! you can’t distract me with kisses.” you say, following her out the door and to the car.

she turns her head over her shoulder, a sly smile appearing on her face. “can’t i? it always works doesn’t it?”

“i hate you.” you mumble, getting in the passengers side.

“no you don’t, i’m pretty sure you’re like totally in love me.” she teases.

you let out a breathy laugh, “who told you that williams?”

“i’m pretty sure you did on our wedding day, mrs. williams.”

ellie leans over the center console to plant a kiss on your lips, preventing you from saying some witty comeback.

you two walk into the flower shop hand in hand, immediately dragging ellie to the bunches of colorful flowers.

“ellie! look at these, they’re so pretty.” you pick up the bunch of tiger lilies, bringing it to her nose so she could smell them.

she leans in, nose taking in the scent of flowers. “mm they smell good.”

“we should definitely get these for the kitchen, they’d smell so nice while we’re cooking.”

she giggles, “you’re really trying to push the whole cooking thing.”

“well yes ellie, we have a kitchen. why let it go to waste.”

she sighs, a small smile on her face as she talks. “you’re not letting this go are you?”

you smile, “no.”

“let’s go look at the other flowers.” you say, grabbing her hand and pulling her throughout the shop.

ellie can’t distinguish each flowers smell anymore after having to smell almost every flower in the shop. she’s carrying four different bunches of flowers, watching you as you keep searching for more flowers.

“baby, i love you but we don’t need anymore flowers.” she says, voice slightly muffled from the flowers near her face.

“wait, just let me get one more then we’ll leave i promise.”

“fine, but you have to carry it, i don’t think my arms can handle anymore flowers.”

turning around to the sight of ellie being engulfed by flower bouquets causes you to laugh. “what’s so funny?” you hear from behind the flowers.

you giggle as you quickly take a photo of ellie covered by flowers, “nothing, you just look really cute holding all these flowers.”

“just get the rest of the flowers so we can go.”

“okay, just give me one minute.” you say, turning back around to make your final decision on which flowers to get.

four bouquets and a large rose bud plant later, you and ellie walk out of the store struggling to carry all the flowers.

“wait where are we putting all of these?” you ask ellie as she struggles to open the door.

you two settle inside the car, “just hold them.” she places the flowers in your lap.

“really ellie?” you look down at the plant in between your feet and the flowers in your lap.

she shrugs, “if i can hold them all so can you.”

ellie opens your door for you, looking at the massive amount of flowers in your lap. watching you struggle to get out the car.

“you need some help there?” she says, smirking as she looks at you.

you roll your eyes, “yes, if you would be so kind to help your wife, i’d appreciate it.”

she takes the flowers out of your hands, “someone’s sassy.”

you kick her in the leg, “shut up.”

inside, you and ellie place all the flowers on the kitchen counter. ellie comes over to you “so where are we putting these?”

“we can put the rose bud plant near the back door because it needs lots of sunlight and we can put the tiger lilies in the kitchen.” you grab the tiger lilies, grabbing a vase to put them in.

ellie sits the rose bud plant near the back door and places a few more of the flowers throughout the house.

you’re placing some flowers along the window seal when ellie’s arms wrap around you. her head rests against your shoulder, glasses rubbing against your neck. “you finished with the flowers?”

“yeah just have to place the last vase somewhere.” you say, pulling yourself out of ellie’s grip to grab the final vase.

“where should it go?” you ask ellie.

ellie takes the flowers from your hands, walking over to the wooden stand near the door. “right here.”

she places it right next to the photo of you two on your honeymoon, her kissing you with a sunset in the background.

“perfect.” you say.

ellie comes over, pulling you into a hug. “you were right, the flowers make our house a lot better.” she mumbles into your head.

“see i’m always right.” you giggle.

she rolls her eyes, “you have a really big ego you know that?”

“yeah but you love it.” you tease.

“you’re right, and i believe you owe me an afternoons worth of cuddles.”

“whatever the wife wants she gets.” you lean up to kiss her.

smiling down at you, she kisses you back. “that’s the spirit.”

she picks you up, carrying you over to the couch before plopping you down. laying on top of you, she covers your face in a bunch of tiny kisses.

“i love you and your weird flower obsession.”

you pull her flush against your body, “i love you and your judgmental ways.”

a/n: i wrote this on a carriage through the mountains, anyways hope yall enjoyed!🪿

[gooseraider]

thank you guys sm for 300 followers 🥹🥹

[gooseraider]

magic alpaca

a/n: this is maybe the dumbest thing i’ve ever written

you woke up to a gnawing pain in your stomach. unsure of why, you climbed out of ellie’s grasp and went to the bathroom. it didn’t take too long to figure out that you’ve started your period.

hoping to ease the pain, you head to the kitchen to make some tea. you open the tea drawer realizing there was no more tea except for the bitter tea bags you and ellie refused to try.

you walk back to you and ellie’s room, laying down right on top of ellie. she stirs awake once she feels your weight on top of her. upon opening her eyes she’s met with you wrapping your limbs around her like a koala.

she laughs, bringing her arms around you. “good morning to you too.”

you mumble an incoherent morning as you further borrow your head into her chest.

she turns her head to look at you, “you okay? you’re never this clingy in the morning, not that i’m complaining.”

you slightly lift your head off her chest to look at her, “i’m fine, my stomach just hurts.”

her hand finds your head, gently raking her fingers through your hair. “i’m sorry, do you need anything? pain meds, tea, cuddles?”

“we don’t have any tea, i already checked.” you say, rolling off ellie. now side by side.

“if you want tea i can go to the store real quick.”

you sigh, “you don’t have to.”

she moves some hair from your face, pulling you closer to her.“it’s not far, if it’ll make you feel better i’ll go okay?”

“okay, i’ll go with you if you want.”

“it’s fine, you can stay here and rest until you feel better okay?”

you nod against the pillow, watching ellie’s as she gets up and throws on a random hoodie. reaching out for ellie’s pillow, you hold it close to you to replace ellie’s warmth.

“you want anything other than tea?” she asks, looking over at you on the bed.

you shrug as you burry yourself into her pillow.

she comes over to you, planting a kiss on your head before leaving the room. the quietness of the house makes you sleepy, eyes growing heavy as you begin to drift off.

at the store, ellie heads straight for the tea isle. grabbing you favorite tea before walking to the front of the store, a display of stuffed animals catches her eye. walking over to them, her eyes immediately go to the alpacas. she thinks for a second, would you be mad at her for buying a stuffed animal, but it’s your favorite animal so you’d have to be okay with it, right?

after her internal debate she decides to buy the stuffed animal, hoping you’d think it’s cute enough to not be mad at her.

once ellie’s home, she starts making your tea. pouring it in your favorite mug before she takes it to you.

the sound of your bedroom door creaking wakes you up, you’re met with ellie standing above you. one hand behind her back and the other holding a mug of tea.

she sets the mug on the nightstand, now holding both hands behind her back.

a small smile appears on her face, “you have a visitor.”

“what?”

removing her hands from behind her, she holds the alpaca plushie infront of your face.

you blink a few times before questioning her, “what is that ellie?”

“your favorite animal, i saw it at the store and it looked too cute to leave there so now it’s here and it’s your emotional support alpaca.”

you laugh, “i already have like twenty stuffed animals.”

she rolls her eyes, “i know but you don’t have an alpaca which is weird because they’re your favorite animal.”

you take the stuffed animal from ellie’s hands, looking at it and realizing how cute it is.

“it is cute.” you say.

“i know, it’s supposed to rid you of your stomach pain.”

you raise an eyebrow, “who told you that?”

“the alpaca.”

she climbs on the bed, rolling over you and laying down next to you.

she takes the alpaca form you hands, holding it in the air. “it’s a magic alpaca, it can speak.”

“why isn’t it speaking then?” you ask, poking at the stuffed animal.

“it only talks to me because i’m super cool.”

you scoff, “am i not cool?”

“you are, just not cool enough to speak to the alpaca.”

she brings the alpaca to her ear, nodding her head before turning to you. “it says that you have to give me a kiss to be able to speak to it.”

you raise an eyebrow, “you’re making the alpaca do your bidding now?”

“yes, now give me a kiss.” she says, puckering her lips.

straddling ellie, you lean down and give her a quick kiss. “can i speak to the alpaca now?”

she smirks, “no, i need a better kiss.”

you kiss her again before laying down against her, “can i speak to the stupid alpaca now?”

she gasps, “don’t call it stupid, it hurts its feelings.”

you roll your eyes, grabbing the alpaca and looking into it’s plastic eyes. “sorry for calling you stupid mr alpaca.”

ellie starts talking in a high pitched voice as she hold the alpaca against her face. “apology accepted.”

you laugh, resting your head back on ellie’s chest. moving the alpaca aside, she wraps her arms around you. “your stomach feel any better?”

“yeah.”

she pulls you closer to her, hand moving under your shirt to rub your back. “see the alpaca does work, it’s truly magical.”

“y’know what would be truly magical?”

“what?”

“if we stayed here and cuddled all day.”

“i think the alpaca can make that happen.” she says, kissing the top of your head.

the rest of the afternoon was spent in bed. both of you wrapped around eachother, exchanging soft kisses with the alpaca sitting right next to you both.

a/n: hope yall enjoyed!🦙

[gooseraider]

Howdy! OKAY IMMA WRITE THIS REAL SHORT SO IT WONT GET TOO COMPLICATED

imagine being roommates with loser ellie but every time you forgot to bring your towel with you, you would scream from behind the bathroom door and she would be so red just to hand you

AGGHHH

music rang throughout the bathroom, soft melodies bouncing off the walls. the warmth of the shower already missed once you step out. reaching for your towel, confused when it’s not there until you remember it’s sitting on your bed.

“ellie!” you yell, trying to be heard over the music.

“what?”

“can you please get my towel off my bed, i left it.”

she groans, this wasn’t the first time you’ve asked her to do this. she hated it every time. not because of you, well kind of. but because everytime she saw you she’d freak out. over the past months she’s developed a crush on you, and ellie being ellie couldn’t be normal about it. always blushing and stuttering over her words when around you.

she slowly gets up from the couch, mentally preparing for the loser she’s about to become around you, “yeah, give me a second.”

once in your room, she heads to your bed to grab the towel. slowly approaching the door she awkwardly sticks her hand through the crack, face redder than a tomato.

“h-here’s your towel.”

“thanks!” ellie’s face got more red at the sound of your voice, she hated how sweet you sounded.

ellie begins to make her way out of your room when you come out of the bathroom in nothing but your towel. wet hair clinging to your skin, face slightly reddened from the hot shower.

“thanks again for grabbing my towel, i don’t know why i forget it all the time.”

ellie awkwardly turns to face you, face still as red as ever, “yeah - yeah it was no problem, anytime.”

“you’re the best ellie!” you walk over to her, giving her small kiss on the cheek before heading back into the bathroom.

ellie’s whole body went numb, she thought she might actually collapse in the middle of your room. she’s so not getting over her crush anytime soon.

[gooseraider]

Hi! 🪿I've been thinking about reader who had a bad day and kinda takes it out on Ellie x Ellie whose reaction could be written by you. If you okay with that

Be free to leave this request if you don't like the idea!!! :D

i’m not a mean girlfriend!

a/n: reader is a tiny weeny bit mean but she has ellie who is the patient loving sweet angle gf that she is

the day you had was a day from hell. you slept through your alarm causing you to be late for your shift, because of that your manager was watching you like a hawk all day. you swapped two customers coffee orders and they both ended up yelling at you. while on your break your coworker spilt her matcha latte on you, ruining your favorite blouse and staining it green.

your shift was over and all you wanted was to lay in bed and enjoy some much needed peace and quiet.

upon entering your shared apartment, you’re met with ellie screaming profanities into her mic. she was playing some random video game, eyes glued to the screen and a death grip on the controller.

after hearing the door close ellie looks up, pausing her game. “hey baby, how was work?”

you’re already in a bad mood and ellie asking about work makes it ten times worse.

“it was fine.” you respond with a hint of annoyance.

before ellie can ask anymore questions, you head to you and ellie’s room. letting out a sigh of relief once in the quiet room. you take off your blouse, throwing it some random corner before grabbing a sweatshirt and laying in bed.

grabbing the book on your nightstand, you begin to read through each page hoping to calm yourself. ellie’s yelling from the other side of the door pulls you from the calm state you were in. continuing to read, trying to drown out ellie’s loudness. growing more irritated by the second, you place your book down and head towards the living room.

“jesus ellie could you be any louder.” your voice laced with irritation.

ellie turns around to look at you, “sorry, i’ll try to be quieter.”

you don’t respond, you just walk into the kitchen. you grab a mug from the cabinet, turning around to place it on the counter. you’re met with ellie standing on the other side,

“so, how was your day?” she asks, watching you as you move around the kitchen.

“i told you it was fine.” you say, your voice flat.

“no, you said work was fine, not your day.”

you roll your eyes, “aren’t they basically the same thing.”

“maybe but i don’t care to be honest.”

you continue to make your tea, not saying another word to ellie. she picks up on your low mood, “you okay, you don’t seem like yourself today.”

“i’m fine.”

ellie laughs a little, “you’ve said your fine like three times now.”

“well it’s the truth.”

ellie comes closer to you, “are you sure, you can always talk to me y’know.”

she continues speaking, “if i have to beat someone up i will. also i bought lilly a new cat toy because her old ones were really gross.”

you ignore her as she keeps talking, “how do you feel about pizza for dinner? i saw a tiktok about pizza and that’s all i’ve been thinking about.”

the more she kept talking, the more annoyed you got. you love ellie but sometimes she talks so much and it drives you crazy. all you wanted was some quiet time and ellie had to ruin that.

“can you stop talking for one second ellie, you’re so annoying sometimes.” you take your mug of tea and walk off towards the bedroom, shutting the door behind you.

regret instantly fills your body, you didn’t mean to snap at ellie. you felt horrible, too horrible to leave the room. so you stayed in there until the sun went down, feeling too bad to face ellie.

walking into the living room hours later, you see ellie curled up on the couch. you sit down next to her, hand resting gently on her knee.

“i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have been mean to you earlier, you didn’t deserve that.”

ellie turns to look at you, “it’s okay, i know you were probably stressed about something.”

silence fills the room until ellie speaks again, “so.. care to tell me what caused you to be a total bitch to your girlfriend?”

you giggle, “i just had the worst day and it was one of those days where everything is annoying y’know?”

ellie pulls you closer her, your head resting against her shoulder. “how about next time you have a shitty day you come and talk to me and we work through it together okay?”

you let out a quiet mhm as she begins to rub your arm, “are you mad at me?” you ask.

“why would i be mad at you?”

“because i was being a total bitch to you.”

she laughs a little, “i mean you were but i don’t mind having a mean girlfriend.”

you lightly wack her, “i am not a mean girlfriend!”

she shrugs, “if you say so.”

“fuck you.”

“see, mean girlfriend.”

“i hate you.”

“you love me.”

“i do.”

“i know, i love you too.” ellie leans down and kisses your head.

“you still want pizza?” you ask, eyes connecting with hers.

“of course i want pizza, what kind of question is that.”

“i’ll order the pizza.”

hope yall enjoyed!🪿

[gooseraider]

hi!! i was wondering if you could write something about ellie taking care of reader who’s going through a bit of a rough time (mentally), just being super patient and taking care of reader!

i love your writing sm :)

i’ll heal eventually, but faster if you’re next to me

content warning: mental health struggles?

ellie was very attentive, always noticing every detail about you. what you liked and disliked, what made you upset, how you liked your coffee. vanilla and cold foam always.

so when she saw how you began to push her away, she was worried. you were never one to push people away, especially ellie. if anything you’d cling to ellie, never wanting to be apart from her.

it started with missed calls and texts, most of her texts to you went unanswered.

omg i saw the cutest cat on my walk home!

babyyyyy, do you wanna play fn later?

hello, baby are you okay?

please call me when you can, i’m worried.

after no response from the fourth message, her heart was racing. after her shift she made her way over to your house, but not before grabbing your favorite pastry and drink on her way out.

the drive to your home is silent, the only sound being ellie’s heart thumping against her chest. she was worried for you, you’ve told her about your past mental health issues and how you start to spiral when things get bad. she hoped you were okay, the last thing she wanted was for you to be in any kind of pain.

fumbling with her keys as she tries to find your house key, she knew you always kept your door locked. upon entering, she finds your house to be a hollow version of what it once was. the lights are off, lace curtains blocking the sunlight from entering, your many plants looking almost lifeless from the lack of sun and water.

ellie continues to move throughout the house, heading straight to your bedroom. her hearts breaks a little at the sight of you curled up in your bed. you looked like the life had been sucked out of you, eyes dilated as you focus your attention on one spot on the wall. she watches you for a moment, seeing how each breath you take is unsteady and how you barely blink in the few minutes of her watching you.

she starts slowly walking towards you, careful not to startle you. she lets out a quiet “hi baby.” before she kneels down infront of you, putting the pastries on your nightstand before gently taking your hands in hers. your eyes meet hers once she takes your hands.

she gently rubs the back of your hands, “hey sweetheart, how’re you feeling?”

you shrug your shoulders, feeling too tired to speak.

her voice is gentle as she speaks, “i know you don’t feel like talking but can you tell me if you’ve gotten up in the past few days?”

you shake your head no, “that’s okay baby, but i’m gonna need you to get up today or at least eat something okay?”

“okay.” you say, sitting up slightly.

ellie reaches up to move a stray hair from your face, “okay, what do you wanna do, shower, eat, cuddles?”

you shrug again, taking a deep breath at the thought of making a decision. ellie moves to sit on your bed, her hands still in yours.

“how about we get you showered then we can eat while watching that crime show you like. sound good?”

you nod, ellie places a kiss on your forehead, “i’ll go get the bath ready, why don’t you pick out the pajamas you want okay?”

you mumble a quiet mhm as she makes her way to your bathroom.

in the bathroom she grabs your favorite towel with stars on it and places it on the counter. adding sugar cookie bubbles to the bath as it fills up, constantly checking to make sure the temperature is just right.

she comes back to the room to find you in the same spot as before, she doesn’t say anything. she just walks over to your dresser to grab some pajamas for you. as she chooses something for you to wear, she looks around at all of the posters on the wall and the abundance of records the fill your room. it hurt her to see how dull you’ve become, she wanted nothing more than to fill it with light again.

placing your pajamas in the bathroom, she comes over to where you and gently coaxes you out of bed. she holds your hand the whole way to the bathroom, gently helping you out of your clothes. kissing you sweetly after each article of clothing is peeled off.

she helps you into the bath, making sure everything’s okay and you’re comfortable. after knowing that you’re content with the bath she heads back to your room, she makes your bed, making sure to put all of the pillows and plushies in the right place. then she goes to put away all the loose clothes, making sure your room looks in slightly better condition. your plants are her final task before heading back to the bathroom. she goes to kitchen to grab a glass of water and makes her way through all of your plants, giving each plant the proper amount of water. she also open the windows to give the plants some light.

back in the bathroom she sits down next to the bathtub, her fingers gently dancing along the water. you haven’t said more than three words the whole time ellie’s been here, she softly strokes your arm to quietly let you know she’s there.

“you wanna wash your hair?” she asks knowing you probably haven’t in a while.

“too tired.” your voice is barely audible.

she continues stroking your arm, “it’s okay baby, i can do it for you. is that okay with you.”

bringing you legs up to your chest as you nod, eyes closing as ellie’s hand softly massage your scalp. ellie continues through your hair washing routine with the most care in the world.

ellie starts to rinse your hair, “close your eyes sweetheart.”

you bring your hands up to cover your eyes, letting out a relaxed breathe as you feel the warm water run down your back.

ellie grabs a towel and starts patting your hair down, making sure it’s not dripping when you get out. ellie takes your hand as you get out, wrapping your favorite towel around you. you lightly smile when you see the towel she chose.

she hands you the pajamas she picked out after you dry off, a old pair of pajama pants and a shirt ellie bought you that read lasagna del rey. you can’t help but laugh at the shirt, ellie’s happy to see you laughing. before leaving the bathroom she grabs your hairbrush and a hair tie.

ellie’s goes to sit on your bed, you follow her. she motions for you to come sit in her lap, her arms wrap around your waist, resting her head on your shoulder for a moment. she leans back, grabbing the brush and gently starts to brush your hair.

she takes her time, going over each chunk of hair to make sure there are no tangles. once she’s done, she kisses your shoulder before letting out a quiet i love you. her fingers slowly rake through your hair as she begins to braid it, making sure every hair is in place.

moving off the bed, she’s standing in front of you. cupping your cheeks as she places a soft kiss to your forehead.

she grabs the blanket off your bed before taking your hand and guiding you to the living room. you curl up in one corner of the couch, watching as ellie drapes the blanket over you. reaching over you to grab the remote, she turns on your favorite show. knowing you always love watching it.

“i’m going to make you something to eat, is that okay with you baby?”

you nod before closing your eyes once you see ellie walk away from the couch.

ellie moves through the kitchen, quietly humming one of your favorite songs as she grabs a box of mac and cheese. she knows it not the healthiest but she just wants you to eat something, especially something she knows you like.

while the mac and cheese is cooking, ellie keeps stealing glances at you on the couch. her heart aches for you, she wishes there was a world where you weren’t at battle with your own mind. your anti-depressants somehow made you feel worse, and since you’ve been off them you’ve been struggling more than usual. she hates how helpless she feels, not being able to do anything for you except be there.

knowing that you hate being the only person eating she grabs two bowls for the mac and cheese, one for you and one for her. she fills the bowls with the pasta and grabs two forks, the fork with the ducks on it for you as it was deemed your special fork.

bringing the bowls over to the couch, she gently shakes you after seeing you fell asleep. you wake up slowly, ellie being the first thing you see once you wake. she hands you a bowl,

“it’s mac and cheese, i know it’s your favorite. you don’t have to finish but please try to eat at least a few bites.” she says, her tone full of worry.

“thank you.”

while eating, you quietly study ellie as she focuses on the tv. you notice how a worried expression has made its way onto her face and hasn’t left since she’s been here. you feel terrible knowing that you’re causing ellie to worry, you don’t want her to spend her energy worrying about you. especially because she’s already done so much for you.

tears begin to fill your eyes, “i’m sorry.”

ellie looks over at you, the same worried expression still present. “why are you sorry?”

“because i’m being too much right now, i’m making you stressed.”

ellie places her bowl on the coffee table before taking you in her arms and pulling you into her lap.

“sweetheart you’re never too much, especially for me. and yeah i’m a little stressed but that’s not on you, i just care about you so much that i can’t help but worry for you.”

you being to sniffle, she rubs you back and moves a stray hair behind your ear.

“i love you so much sweet girl, more than you’ll ever know. i’d do literally anything for you no matter what, whether it’s bathing you, cooking for you, or watching hours of trashy tv with you.”

you curl into her chest, “i love you els.”

“i love you and whatever you’re going through, i’ll be right here with you. we’re in this together.” she kisses your head.

she takes your pinky in hers, both of you kissing your hands. “i love you so much.” she says one more time as you rest comfortably on her chest.

you don’t feel any better than you did before but knowing ellie was here with you made everything better.

a/n: hope yall enjoyed!🪿

[gooseraider]

do yall think modern ellie would have her ears pierced? 🤔

[gooseraider]

Make out session w/ Ellie?

make out session with els

the soft hum of ellie’s computer monitor was the only sound filling the room. you’ve been watching ellie play a new video game for the past couple of hours, growing bored of laying on ellie’s bed you get up and walk over to her desk.

you stand next to ellie’s gaming chair, waiting for her to acknowledge you. after completing another level of her game, she looks up. her eyes half lidded from the brightness of her screen.

“hey baby.”

“hi.”

she reached out and takes your hand, slowly rubbing her thumb over the back of your hand. “what’s up?”

“nothing.” you say as you climb into her lap, still holding onto her hand. you rest your head in the crook of her neck.

you mumble into her neck, “just wanted to be near you.”

she smiles, “you’re cute.”

she begins to rub your back in slow circles. she lets you lay on her until she pauses her game and her hands find your waist. gently guiding you to sit up so you’re face to face with eachother.

looking into your eyes, she whispers. “you’re so fucking pretty.”

her hands find your face, gently stroking your cheek. your face heats up as you bring your hands to cover your face. hiding yourself from ellie’s gaze.

she chuckles lowly, her hands wrapping around your wrists to move your hands away from your face.

“stop covering that pretty face, i wanna see you.”

your whole body heats up at her words, shifting slightly in her lap as you rest your hands around her neck.

ellie’s eyes are fixed on yours, you drop your head onto her shoulder. a soft giggle escapes you.

you groan, “stop looking at me like that.”

“like what?” she asks innocently.

you lift your head off her shoulder. now looking at her, still avoiding her gaze.

“like you want to eat me.”

she laughs as a smirk forms on her face, “what if i do?”

you go to say some witty remark but your words get caught in your throat.

her hands slightly tighten on your hips, “cat got your tongue baby.”

“shut - shut up!”

she raises an eyebrow, “you gonna do anything to shut me up?”

you let out a low hum of approval as you lean in, connecting your lips with hers. she reciprocates the kiss with much more force, hands grabbing your ass to move you impossibly closer.

you deepen the kiss, lightly moaning into her mouth as you feel her hands roam under your shirt. you pull away slightly before reconnecting the kiss, your hands pulling on the back of her neck. her tongue enters your mouth, causing you to deepen the kiss.

she trails her mouth down along your jaw and neck, leaving sloppy, open mouth kiss along your neck. her hands toy with the hem of your hers t-shirt, leaning back and searching your eyes for approval. you silently nod as she pulls your shirt higher up, her lips leave your neck to pull the shirt over your head, leaving you in just your bra.

she starts kissing along your collarbone and down you chest, you let out soft whimpers as her hands find your breasts.

missing the feeling of her lips, your hands cup her face as you push her away from your chest. she’s looking up at you with soft and sultry eyes. your hand rests on her chin, slightly tilting it upwards as you lean down and kiss her again. your hands move through her hair as the kiss escalates, her hands still roaming your body, pinching and teasing your breasts.

“i wanna go to the bed.” you say against her lips.

she kisses once more before her hands find the underside of your thighs, lifting you up with ease and carrying you to her bed.

she lays you down on the the soft mattress as she reconnects the kiss. she’s straddling you now, craning down to kiss your ear.

“god, you don’t know what you do to me.”

you lean up to whisper in her ear, “show me then, so i can find out.”

she goans, moving away from your ear to look you in the eyes. faces now inches away from eachother.

“you’re wish is my command sweetheart.” she says, kissing you. slotting her knee between you leg, lightly rubbing it against your core.

a/n: hope you enjoyed! 🪿

[gooseraider]

rewind

summary: you and ellie hit it off one night, come to find out she’s your brothers best friend.

part: one, two, three, four, five (here)

it’s been three months since you last spoke to ellie, you’d see her around or hear about her from your brother and social media. it seemed like she was living her best life, her and her girlfriend were still together, she was traveling, she hung out with her friends all the time. you hated it, hated how she just moved on while you were still hung up on her. everything reminded you of her, she was constantly on your mind. you couldn’t even get through your lectures without thinking about her, wondering what she was doing, if she’s actually happier and better off without you.

although it looked like ellie was doing great, she wasn’t. she was spiraling, since she walked out on you she hasn’t felt like herself. she thought that once you were out of her life she’d feel better, she’d forget about you and what she once felt for you. but it’s been the complete opposite, all she does is think about you, everything she does she wishes you were there. she wanted so badly to hear you laugh, to hold you in her arms, to apologize over and over until you forgave her.

she knew that saying sorry wasn’t enough, that you wouldn’t take her back overnight but she had to start somewhere. she sent you a simple text that read,

i’m sorry for hurting you, you still mean the world to me.

she hit send hoping you’d respond, she’d give anything just to talk to you again.

you saw the message and read it over and over again, you didn’t understand why she texted you. especially after three months, deciding not to respond you turn your phone over and lay back down.

days went by since she last sent that message, ellie didn’t expect you to respond but she still wanted to make sure you were doing alright. she sent you another message exactly a week later,

hey, i hope you’re doing okay, im here for you.

her most recent message made you upset, hating how she suddenly wanted to come back into your life after what she did.

you respond to her text,

please don’t text me like nothing happened, you hurt me and i don’t want someone like you back in my life.

please don’t contact me or talk to me, i need to move on and you should too.

when ellie got your message, her heart shattered. she obviously expected you to be mad at her but she didn’t think you’d cut her out of your life. she didn’t want to move on and she secretly didn’t want you to either. it’s selfish to think that but just wants one more chance with you.

she continues to message you against your wishes, she knows she should give it up but she can’t. she loves you and wants you to know it. you ignore her messages but she stays persistent.

“how dare she just text me like nothing happened, like she hasn’t ignored me for the past few months!” you say through the phone, bella was on the other line listing to your rant about ellie.

“no literally she’s so wrong for that, not even letting you try to move on.”

you lean back on your bed, “it’s making me so mad, i can’t even grieve in peace.”

bella laughs, “you should delete her number then she won’t be able to bother you.”

“wait i should totally do that.”

you don’t, you still keep her contact because you secretly like the messages she sends. you don’t want to admit it but you still love her. you’re still thinking about her all the time, every night you stare at her messages while holding the stuffed bear she won for you.

although you never respond to ellie’s messages, she hasn’t let up. always sending weekly messages making sure you’re okay. she goes through your instagram at least once a day to see what you’re doing. she feels terrible about how she treated you, every second of the day she imagines being able to see you and properly apologize to you.

the guilt of hurting you begins to eat her alive, she ends things with autumn soon after their six month anniversary because she knows that her heart still belongs to you. autumn doesn’t take it well, their breakup ending in ellie being cursed out. she knows she did the right thing, she doesn’t want to end up hurting autumn the way she hurt you. she feels terrible after the breakup, leaving her perfectly sweet girlfriend because she wants to make up with a girl who hates her guts.

after spending some time alone, she starts writing you letters. she uses the letters as a way to deal with her guilt, she never sends them though. they’re filled with things she never got a chance to tell you and things she wishes she could tell you now. a box full of the letters sit in the corner of her room, slowly becoming filled with things that remind her of you. a poster of the movie you like, a random trinket you’d think would be cute. she saved all of it in hopes that’s she’ll be able to give it to you.

the first time you two speak is on your birthday, you wake up to a bunch of happy birthday messages but one catches your eye,

happy birthday, i know we don’t talk anymore but i hope you have a great day.

it’s from ellie, you respond this time.

thank you, hope you’re doing well.

ellie’s heart flutters when she sees you responded, it’s a simple message but she doesn’t care. you finally texted her back and ellie takes it as a sign that you don’t hate her as much as she thought.

ellie continues writing you letters, they get more intense as she slowly comes to terms with her feelings for you. she catches herself wanting to call you and tell you she loves you for real, but she stops herself everytime because she knows that you need to move on from her, find someone who is deserving of you.

the rest of the school year goes by, you’re finally home for the summer again. since your birthday ellie hasn’t texted you, you were a little sad but maybe it was best. you two didn’t need to be in eachothers lives anymore.

that summer you moved on from ellie, or you tried to. no matter what you did you still thought about her, imagining her coming to you and finally apologizing. you missed her and you wished she’d just comeback to you, you knew she wouldn’t though. you told her you never wanted to speak to her again. after one particular drunk text she sent you, you told her to basically fuck off. knowing ellie she’d follow your wish, she was a lot of things but she always respected you and what you wanted.

sometimes you regret telling her that, not because you didn’t mean it but because you wanted her, you missed her even though you shouldn’t.

you see eachother face to face halfway through summer, you texted her asking if you could bring back her hoodie after finding it in your closet. now you’re at her front door, slightly sweating at the idea of having to see her. before you can talk yourself out of it you knock on her door, she opens it soon after.

“hey.” her voice is low.

“hi, here’s your hoodie.” you reach your arms out, handing her the hoodie.

“thanks.”

there’s an awkward silence between you two, you’re the one to break it.

“i - i’m gonna go now, it was nice seeing you ellie.”

“yeah, you too.”

that was the last conversation you had for the next month.

ellie doesn’t know how much longer she can hold out, everyday she wants to climb through your window and tell you how much she loves you and how sorry she is.

every time she hangs out with your brother she wants to ask him about you, what you’re doing, if you’re doing okay. she so desperately wants to be back in your life. the letters continue to pile up, each one more sappy than the next.

over summer, you don’t notice ellie. not until the gifts start. they started small, little things here and there.

you’d walk out to your car noticing a small bouquet of lilies sitting on your windshield. at first you didn’t know who did it, but one time ellie left a note near the bunch of flowers.

i’ve never been good at telling people how i feel but you make me want to try

- e ‹𝟹

the notes kept piling up, almost everyday there was a new note from ellie on your car. you didn’t want to admit it but the notes made you really happy.

you kept all the notes and flowers she gave you, having a giant vase full of lilies sitting in your room.

she’d drop off envelopes filled with sketches of you at your door. each sketch capturing every detail about you, you could tell she put a lot of thought into each drawing.

playlists titled different things such as i’m sorry, you’re beautiful, i never stopped thinking about you kept being sent to you. each playlist meticulously throughout with songs that portrayed unspoken feelings.

ellie spends the rest of the summer silently trying to show you that she still cares about you. she’s never been good at expressing her feelings, especially when it comes to people she loves. she starts writing songs about you, about how much she loves you, how sorry she is. she writes about every emotion she’s felt towards you, these songs would never see the light of day but she had deal with her feelings somehow.

summers end is near and ellie’s never been more anxious in her life, she promised herself she’d give you one of the letters she wrote before you two separate again. none of the letters she wrote to you felt right, they were either too desperate, too bland, too mean. none of them were good enough to convey how she felt, so she ended up writing one final letter to you on the last day of summer. she knew you were headed back to college the next morning so it was probably her last chance to tell you everything she’s been feeling.

ellie stays up most of the night writing and re-writing her letter to you, she wanted it to be perfect before she gave it to you. she reread the letter over and over until she felt like it was good enough to give to you. she went to bed that night sick to her stomach, scared of what will happen when she gives you her letter.

it’s early in the morning and you’re finishing the rest of your packing, while taking your things to your car you see another note slotted on your windshield. it’s bigger than the ones before, sealed in an envelope with small writing on the front. you take it and read the written words on the front, words i wish i had said is written at the top. you place the envelope in your bag, promising to read it once you’ve unpacked back at school.

your car is full of all your stuff, as your parents pull out of the driveway you catch a glimpse of ellie in her bedroom. you see her watching you drive away through the window. seeing her sparks something in you, taking the envelope out of your bag you decide to read it now. you knew ellie wrote it and it’s a long drive back to college, so what’s the harm in reading it now.

you carefully opened the envelope, eyes scanning over the piece of paper as you read it,

i want to start this letter off by saying i’m sorry. i know writing this won’t automatically heal the hurt i caused you but i need you to know how sorry i am. i’m truly sorry for how i hurt you, i wish i could take back my words and undo my actions but i can’t. all i can do is express my apologies and do better. i’m so so so sorry for everything, what i said to you that night eats me alive with guilt because you didn’t deserve to hear those words. i was projecting my own insecurities and doubts onto you and i wish everyday that i could take back those words. you’re not unlovable or desperate for love, you are so very worthy of love. you deserve to be loved, you deserve to be cherished because you are perfect, you are the sun that paints to skies a beautiful pink color, you are the light the shines even on the darkest days. your smile is the most radiant thing ever and it’s one of the reasons i fell in love with you.

i’m sorry for not being able to love you the way you deserved, that night on the beach when you told me you loved me was one of my favorite days. there’s no excuse or reason that could make what i did better but i want you to know that i love you. i’ve never told you and i regret it, i regret it everyday. i love you so much, i know it doesn’t mean much now but i love you and i’ve been in love with you. i love you so much it hurts, i cannot express how much i love you. the truth is i was scared, i know that’s a dumb reason but it’s true. i was scared of how much i love you, ive never been good at expressing my feelings but i’m going to change. i can’t continue running away from my feelings and avoiding them because that’s why i lost you. losing you is my biggest regret, i genuinely don’t know who i am without you. you brought out a part of me i didn’t know i had, you made me a better person and i thank you for that.

i want to apologize for my actions last year. ghosting you and ditching you for someone else was the worst thing i’ve done. i’m not going to write some excuse for why because that doesn’t matter, what matters is i hurt you. i was a coward for pushing my love for you away, i thought that ignoring my feeling would make them go away but that’s not true because my love for you runs deep, seeping into my bones and heart. i will never stop loving you, nothing in the world could take my love for you away.

in no way do i expect you to forgive me, i don’t expect you to ever speak to me again. if you want me to go away and leave you alone i will, if you want to call me and curse me out you can. whatever you want i’ll do it. this letter doesn’t make up for my wrong doings but i want you to know that i’m sorry. i’m writing this not because i want you to take me back, i want you to do what’s best for you. i’m writing this as closure for you. i’m laying my heart out to you because that’s what you deserve, you don’t deserve some half assed apology. i don’t want you to blame yourself for anything i did. i want you to know that you did nothing wrong, you’re perfect and i never want you to change. i want you to be happy, i want you to find the love that’s meant for you, whether that comes from me or someone else. whatever it is i’ll support you, even if it’s form the other side of the world, even if you’re not speaking to me and have taken me completely out of your life. i’ll always be thinking of you, i’ll always love you and support you. forever and always.

i love you so much, i always have loved you and i’ll always love you with my whole heart. forever and always.

- e ‹𝟹

once you reached the end of the page, tears were streaming down your face. crying silently as you tried not to disturb your family. you didn’t know how to feel, ellie’s letter brought out so many emotions. your heart ached, ellie loved you. you love her so much but you’ve thrown away your chance of getting to experience her love for you. you pushed her away, rightfully so. you told her you never wanted to see her again and to never speak to you. you knew ellie and you knew she’d take your request seriously, you knew she’d never speak to you again out of respect for you boundaries.

tears were stuck in your eyes the whole drive back to college, your heart felt heavy not knowing what to do. you wanted to call her and tell her you forgive her, that you want to make it work. you wanted it to work out so badly but you were scared, you didn’t want to get hurt again. you didn’t think your heart could handle another heartbreak, especially at the hands of ellie again.

a week has passed, you’ve unpacked and decorated your dorm, got started in your classes, and was beginning to adjust back to school. everyday ellie’s letter was on your mind, you’d go back and fourth debating on whether or not to reach out to her.

you did later week, just a simple text that showed you read her letter.

i read your letter, it was sweet, thank you.

when ellie received your message she froze, ever since she gave you the letter she has been so anxious. she read your text, a weight lifting off her chest. you read it, you thought it was sweet, you thanked her, does that mean she forgives me? ellie was confused but accepted your message as a good thing.

you don’t see eachother for another three months, both of you continuing on with your own lives at college. neither of you talked over those months but both of you were on eachothers minds. each day you’d think about eachother, both too afraid to reach out.

ellie would watch you through your social media, constantly checking your instagram to see what you were up to. you never left her mind, she’d often fantasize about being able to talk to you in person. everyday her heart ached for you, she was more than happy to find out you’d be back home over fall break.

the chances of actually getting to talk to you were very slim but she was still excited to see you in person, even if it was from afar.

she spends most of her break thinking about you, she’d sit near her bedroom window and watch you. she saw when you left, when you struggled to carry things inside, who you’d hangout with. she wishes she was the one you were spending your time with.

one afternoon she and jesse are sitting around playing video games when jesse brings up the idea of throwing a halloween party.

“why would we do that?” ellie asks, eyes glued to the screen.

“because it’s october and it’s almost halloween and-“

ellie cuts him off, “and you want an excuse to drink?”

jesse smirks, “exactlyyy.”

ellie and jesse recruit dina to help them throw their epic halloween party as jesse would call it.

“you should invite that girl that you won’t shut up about.” dina says, turning to ellie as hangs some decorations.

ellie sighs, “she doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“we know that, but if you get her to come, you can actually talk to her and talk things out.”

“she won’t come if she knows i’ll be there, let alone invite her.”

dina rolls her eyes, “well how else are you supposed to tell her your grand apology if you never speak to her?”

“i don’t know, i guess we’re destined to never speak again and i’ll die from my heart eventually giving out from heartbreak.”

jesse and dina both laugh, “jesus dude, you’re so dramatic, you’re not going to die if you never see her again.”

“i might, they say heartbreak can kill.” ellie shrugs.

“no one says that.”

“well i’m trademarking it.”

dina interrupts their silly banter, “if i invite her and she comes will you actually go and talk to her?”

“i mean yeah but she’s probably not going to come since i’ll be there.”

“easy, i’ll just tell her jesse’s hosting it and i wont even mention you.”

“you sure this will work?”

“hopefully.”

you’re laying in your bed with a book in hand, fall break for you has been rest and relaxation. school has been draining you, midterms were stressing you out heavily. you just wanted a break from it all, so when you got a text from dina asking if you wanted to come with her to a halloween party you were hesitant. you wanted to use this week as a break and just lay in bed all week. after thinking about whether or not you should go, you decided you’d go. it would be a fun way to let loose.

after telling dina you’d go, you scurried around trying to find a last minute costume. she said she’d pick you up later that night so you had to find something quick.

you decided to be a black cat, simple and cute. as you finished applying your last cat whisker dina texts you that she’s outside. not long after, you’re sitting in dina’s car. on the way there you both were catching eachother up on your lives. even though you and ellie don’t talk anymore, you still remained friends with dina and jesse.

“where’s the party again?” you ask.

“jesse’s house.”

“oh cool!”

you were impressed when you arrived at jesse’s, the house decked out in scary halloween decorations.

“wow this place looks like a haunted house.” you say to jesse after finding somewhere in the house.

“that was the goal” he winks.

you and dina end up caught in a game of beer pong, both of you a little drunk now.

you turn to dina mid game, “thanks for inviting me, this is so much fun.”

“of course, i know school is super stressful so what better way to deal with it then getting drunk.”

dina pulls her phone out to text ellie.

she’s here and is lowkey drunk so come talk to her before she’s too drunk to remember you.

when ellie receives dina’s text, she’s already moving throughout the house trying to find you. she finds you in the kitchen with dina, pouring yourself another drink.

ellie walks up to you, awkwardly tapping you on the shoulder. you turn around and are met with ellie dressed up as a ladybug, red shirt and ladybug antennas. you feel your blood run cold at the sight of ellie. ellie’s the first to say something.

“hey.”

“hi.”

“can we talk?”

“um sure - yeah okay.” you’re not thinking as clearly because sober you would’ve shut ellie down right away.

ellie leads you to a secluded area, the back porch. there’s only a couple of people outside but they’re all too drunk to pay attention to you two. both of you are sat on the bottom step of the porch, you don’t notice how close you are to her. your legs brushing against hers, you turn to her.

“so… what do you want to talk about?”

“i want to say im sorry, im sorry for everything. how i treated you, what i said to you, you didn’t deserve that.”

“you really hurt me ellie.” your voice is low.

“i know, and i know that anything i say can’t take that away. i can’t undo my actions but i want you to know how sorry i am.”

“i forgive you.”

ellie’s eyes widen, “what?”

“i forgive you, what you did was really shitty and i want to hate you for it but i can’t.”

“i’m sorry.”

you’re slightly crying now, “i really really want to hate you.”

“i don’t blame you.”

“i love you and that’s not going to change.”

“i love you too.”

“you do?”

“yeah, i’ve loved you for a while. i’m just really bad at expressing it.”

you laugh, “yeah, you are.”

you two sit in silence for a while, “i want to start over.” you say, breaking the silence.

“me too.”

“no like really start over, i want us to be friends and get to know eachother as friends.”

“i’m okay with that.”

“i mean it ellie, strictly friends. i don’t want you to think that i want to get back together, i’m already going out of my comfort zone to be friends again. i love you ellie and i always will but i can’t love you like that anymore. i want you to continue to be in my life even if we don’t speak as much.”

ellie sighs, “i get it, i support your decision. even thought i can’t be better for you in a relationship, i can promise i’ll be a better friend.”

“thank you ellie, i love you.” you lean in, giving her a hug.

“i love you too.” she says, voice muffled from the hug.

you felt so much better after your talk with ellie, the hangover from last night didn’t feel good but you did. you and ellie deciding to become friends lifted a weight off your chest, being able to forgive her and still have her in your life made you extremely happy.

ellie also felt happy at the progress between you two, she was so thankful that you found it in you to forgive her. she’d be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t disappointed at the fact that you said that you’d never want to get back together. she can’t blame you though, she was the worst towards you.

at first the friendship was a little awkward, both of you navigating your relationship now that you weren’t together. weekly calls with eachother soon became routine, you’d talk about your weeks and all the crazy things that happened in your lives.

over the following months the awkwardness began to fade, both of you growing into a comfortable friendship. you two talked most days of the week, always keeping eachother updated on your lives. you’d visit ellie at school sometimes, begging her to take you around washington. she’d do it happily every time.

you could tell that ellie was changing for the better, you saw how she slowly worked towards being open about how she feels. she often came to you when her emotions would become too much, you helped her talk through whatever she was feeling.

after a year and a half of friendship, both of you became eachothers rock. always leaning on eachother during hard times, ellie was there for you when your dog died and you were right next to her when she didn’t get accepted into the art school she wanted. you didn’t expect for you and ellie to become as close as you were, but you were grateful nonetheless. you couldn’t image not having ellie in your life.

you started to realize that you wanted ellie as more than a friend, even though you told her you never wanted to get back together you couldn’t help but wish she was more than a friend. you didn’t know what caused these feelings all of the sudden, maybe it was when ellie gave you a scrapbook of your dog violet. it was filled with photos and drawings of violet, you nearly cried when ellie gave it to you. or maybe it was when ellie planned a whole trip for the two of you just to get you out of your house because your mean grandparents were staying over.

it was the little things ellie did for you to show that she cared, you knew she wasn’t just doing it to win you over because she knew that you didn’t want a relationship with her. everything she did was from the kindness of her heart, not just for you but for her friends and family. you saw how she cared deeply for her friends, doing little things for them here and there. you where there to help her plan a surprise party for dina, you watched her spend days looking for a vinyl of jesse’s favorite band to gift to him, you helped her countless of times cleaning out joel’s workshop so he didn’t have to worry about the mess. ellie’s care and love for people was something that you admired, it made you love her so much more.

after thinking about it for a while, you decided to ask ellie to be your girlfriend.

you two were sitting on a blanket near the pond, watching the ducks swim and occasionally feeding them. it was quiet outside, just the sounds of the water moving with the ducks.

you’re silently watching ellie, admiring how beautiful she looked.

“ellie?”

“mhm.”

“i’ve been thinking.”

she turns to you, “about…?”

“i don’t know, i just wanted to ask you something.”

she smiles, “ask away.”

“well, i’ve been thinking about me and you and i’ve come to realize that i like you more than a friend. i don’t want us to be friends anymore, i want you to be more than my friend. so ellie, will you be my girlfriend?”

your face is heating up the more you speak, ellie’s expression contorts into something unreadable. scared you messed up you begin to back track your words.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to ruin the moment, i just thought y’know that you might’ve like me back and im sorry for-“

ellie cuts you off, “hey, look at me, i’ll gladly be your girlfriend but i want to make sure that’s what you want. i know you said that you didn’t want to get back together and i want to make sure you thought this through.”

you move closer to her, “i’ve thought about it for a while, and i know what i want. i want you, i want you to be my girlfriend because i love you. i never stopped loving you to be honest.”

ellie’s face is now a bright pink, “i - okay, i love you too and yes i’d love to be your girlfriend.”

“really?”

ellie laughs at the shocked expression on your face, “yes, i love you so much and being your girlfriend would be the best thing ever.”

you lean in and kiss her, she cups your face and kisses you back.

“i love you so much girlfriend.” you say.

“i love you so much more girlfriend .” she says, leaning in to kiss you again.

a/n: welp it’s over and our babies are back together, alls well in the world. gays win again! lowkey i want to make a mini part six of them happily together for real. anyways, hope yall enjoyed!🪿

taglist: @lavenderseedling @iadorefineshyt @nattakasuperlesbian @pearlzxx @beanbagbitch @liasxeatt @liztreez @moonfloweredprincess @starlightles2 @beaflyy @oneinameliann @softqirls @vahnilla @jujueilish

[gooseraider]

all i’ve read is angst the past week, somebody sedate me.

[gooseraider]

holy moly guacamole 200 followers 😧 thank you guys smmmm i love you all 💗🪿

[gooseraider]

WE LOVE SOME CRAZY ANGST W A HAPPY ENDING PLEASE DONT HESITATE TO TWIST THE KNIFE BUT U GOTTA MAKE IT WORTH ITTTT (anyways i loved part 4 so much, cait wait for what’s coming!!)

there will be a happy ending trust 🤞(after all of the yearning that’s in part 5) ☺️

[gooseraider]

to anyone who sent a request i’ll start writing them on friday 🫰🫰

austin moon loves you!

[gooseraider]

sympathy is a knife

summary: you and ellie hit it off one night, come to find out she’s your brothers best friend.

part: one, two, three, four (here), five

weeks go by since you last saw ellie, being apart wasn’t as hard as you thought it would be. you guys talked almost everyday, you’d both facetime after your classes debriefing about your day.

the distance wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be, after the first few weeks of school ellie surprises you. when you come back to your room after one of your classes ellie’s standing in the middle of your dorm with a bunch of flowers. lilies, your favorite.

you capture her in a giant hug, telling her how much you missed her. you two spent the day together, side by side, you introduced her to your friends, showed her around your school, and took her into the city to show her your favorite places.

the night was spent in her arms, you guys squeezed together in your tiny dorm bed with a movie playing on the small computer screen. you fell asleep in her arms and it was the most peaceful you’ve felt in a while.

the next morning, sunlight slowly crept into your room. you avoided opening your eyes because waking up meant getting up and saying goodbye.

ellie was leaving in a couple of hours, those last few hours were spent laying in bed cuddled together. when it was time to say goodbye, you held onto her extra tight, scared to let go as you didn’t know the next time you’d see her.

after ellie left, you continued on with school. picking up right where you left off, classes, parties with friends, and your daily facetimes with ellie. everything was working out and you started to believe that the hundreds of miles between you guys wasn’t going to come between you, that the distance was just a number.

for ellie, the distance wasn’t just a number, it was the space between you that separated you from her. she didn’t think that it would affect her, she convinced herself that she would be fine, that she wouldn’t miss you as much as she did.

she thought about you all the time, you consumed her thoughts, lingered around throughout her day. she hated this feeling, she hated that you had such a strong hold over her.

she wanted to talk about this with someone because she couldn’t go to you as you were the reason she felt like this. her roommate cat ended up saying something along the lines of sounds like you’re in love with her. after ellie told her what was going on.

that twisted something inside her, she knew deep down that she was falling in love with you. she knew she loved when you told her you loved her that night on the beach, she didn’t say it back because she didn’t want to admit it, she didn’t want to feel it. so she didn’t, she pushed it down. keeping it buried deep inside her.

hearing cat say it made it too real, she wanted it to be real but she couldn’t let it. she dismissed cat saying, “i don’t love her, i just miss her i guess.” cat just rolled her eyes, laughing at ellie’s obvious attempt to dodge her feelings.

since that conversation with cat she was overwhelmed, she didn’t know what to do with her feelings. she couldn’t tell you, she wanted to so badly but something inside her wouldn’t allow it. she ended up doing the same thing she always did when she couldn’t face someone, she pulled away.

not right away, she didn’t want to pull the plug immediately. probably because she knew deep down under all of those buried feeling and fears that she cared about you, loved you.

it started off small, not noticeable to someone who wasn’t looking. her texts got dryer, the long paragraphs she would send about her day turned to a couple short sentences.

your nightly facetime calls turned to every other night, then to three times a week. the calls weren’t the same as they used to be, no soft giggles, no silly jokes, even the compliments she’d give you began to fade.

you dismissed it as her being busy, college is stressful so it was understandable that she couldn’t have time for you always. you told yourself she was just stressed and life just got in the way, telling yourself that over and over again. even as her texts got dryer, as the days between your calls grew, and as the ellie you knew over summer was slowly morphing into someone you didn’t know.

you tried to confront her but she avoids the question every time you ask her what’s wrong? or did i do something wrong?

it was driving you mad, you tried to talk to her and she’d pull away. you did your best to reel her back in, trying to go back to the way you two used to be.

ellie was spiraling, every time she opened a message you sent but never replied, each call that went unanswered, and the look on your face when she constantly dismissed you. she knew it hurt you, it hurt her too.

she told herself that this is what’s best, that you’re better off with someone else, that she’s doing you a favor.

the guilt of knowing that she was the reason you were in pain ate her alive. she didn’t know what to do with herself, she needed to get you out of her mind.

she was at a party with a few of her friends, drinking and smoking. you still were on her mind, consuming all of her thoughts. she hated it, she needed a distraction.

she scanned the room full of bodies, eyes landing on a girl whose been eyeing her since she’s been there. discarding her cigarette, she gets up and approaches the girl.

“hey.” she says in a low, flirtatious tone.

the girl turns around smirking, “finally got the balls to approach me huh?”

“yeah guess i did, you wanna get out of here?”

“i’d love to.” ellie takes the girls hand and leads her out of the house.

ellie knows she shouldn’t be doing this, sleeping with people as a distraction, as a way to avoid her feelings. she knows it’s wrong but it’s the only way she believes she can forget you, it’s for the better.

she brings the girl up to her dorm, the second the door closes ellie’s lips are on hers instantly. there’s no true emotion behind this, even when ellie has the girl on her back, eyes looking up at her, she doesn’t feel a thing. all she feels in regret but she pushes it down and buries it.

that was how it started, ellie began sleeping around with different girls. a quick fuck with no real feeling behind it, always leaving the girl high and dry by morning.

she gained a reputation as a player, the girl that slept around, yet that never stopped girls from throwing themselves at her. she accepted it, every invite back to a random girls dorm, every bathroom quickie at a party. she convinced herself she liked it this way, no girl to get attracted to, not girl getting attracted to her. no feelings.

not until autumn, she met autumn in one of her classes. quickly becoming friends after becoming study buddies for physics. at first the friendship was simple, silly banter, random movie nights, and many coffee trips.

one night, autumn and ellie were sitting on her bed, autumn was helping ellie with her makeup as they were about to go to a party. their faces were close together, looking into eachothers eyes. before ellie could register what she was doing, she leaned in to kiss autumn.

she pulled away instantly once her brain caught up to her body, “shit, i’m sorry- fuck i don’t know why i did that.”

autumn continues watching ellie as she rambles on, she places a hand on ellie’s knee, “it’s okay, i was kinda hoping you’d kiss me at some point.”

“really?”

“yeah, i kinda have a crush on you if you haven’t noticed.” a nervous laugh escaping autumn’s mouth.

ellie leans back in to kiss her.

soon after their shared kiss, they started dating. it was going well, autumn was a sweet girl who was a great girlfriend. ellie was happy, she was enjoying life and her time with autumn, at least that’s what she told herself. autumn reminded ellie of you, you two were similar with the way you spoke and got excited over the little things.

that’s probably why ellie was drawn to autumn, she missed you badly. you’ve been erased from ellie’s life, she thought she’d be happier this way but she wasn’t. she missed the way you laughed at her stupid jokes, she missed your warm presence when she held you in her arms, she missed everything about you and she couldn’t do anything about it anymore because she pushed you away and shut you out.

you were beginning to spiral, ellie hasn’t talked to you in weeks. it used to be one or two short texts throughout the week but soon turned to complete silence. you no longer believed it when you told yourself that she was just busy.

you forced yourself to forget her, focusing harder on your school work, hanging out with friends more, but nothing really worked. you missed her, thinking about her all the time, her eyes, the way she held you, how she made you feel like the only person in the world. you were confused on how she could make you feel so special one day then acted like you meant nothing the next.

it hurt that you didn’t know why she ghosted you, constantly questioning what you did wrong and why you weren’t enough for her to stay.

you wanted to be mad at her, you wanted to send her a hateful text or a angry phone call but you couldn’t. no matter how hard you tried because you loved her and that wasn’t going to change overnight. deep down you were hopeful that you and ellie would work out, but that hope was quickly crushed after your friend showed you an instagram post.

you and bella were laying around in her dorm, she let out a quiet oh my god which caught your attention. you turned to her muttering a soft “what?”

she passes her phone over to you without saying anything, you take it and begin looking at the post. when you read that caption your jaw drops.

i love my girlfriend ☺️💗 is written under a photo of ellie kissing another girl, you’re at a loss for words. girlfriend? how long have they been together? is this why she’s been ignoring you, she found someone better?

you wanted to scream, ellie’s had a girlfriend this whole time. bella turns to you, “did you know she had a girlfriend?”

“no, guess i didn’t know a lot about her.” you say shrugging, your eyes starting to gloss over.

“how are you so calm about this, i would’ve already been planning to ruin her life. if you need me to beat her up for you i will i swear.”

you laugh, “that’s sweet of you, i think i’m gonna head to bed but i’ll call you if i suddenly get the urge to beat her up.”

bella laughs as she brings you into a hug, “goodnight, i’ll be waiting on that phone call.” she waves to you as you leave out the door.

once in your room you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in, you walk over to your bed immediately laying down. you begin to cry, tears falling down your face and soaking your pillow. you look down at the bear in your arms, the one she won for you at the fair a few months ago. you felt stupid, stupid for believing her, for trusting her, for thinking that she actually cared for you. you fell asleep to the sound of your cries, a heavyweight falling against your heart.

the remainder of the semester went by in a blur, days merged into one. you don’t remember much from the last few weeks of the semester but you do remember how heart broken you were. you hated how ellie still had an effect on you, she was off with her girlfriend probably feeling happier than ever and you were left here picking up the pieces of your heart that she shattered.

before you knew it, it was winter break. as you were packing to leave, the normal feeling of excitement to go home was replaced with dread. dread of seeing ellie, knowing that you’d have to talk to her sooner or later.

the first week of winter break was nice, you helped your family decorate for christmas, bought gifts for everyone, and somehow made way too many christmas cookies. you managed to avoid seeing ellie, you were thankful she hasn’t come over to see your brother knowing you couldn’t see her, not now at least.

the day your brother invited ellie over, you were in the kitchen when she arrived. she pretended not to see you when she came over, it’s like she completely erased you from her life. you walk out of the room, not sparing a glance in her direction.

the next time you see her is at your parents christmas party, ellie’s different this time. instead of pretending you don’t exist, she acts like you’re the only person in the room. her gaze is fixed on you the whole party, eyes never leaving yours.

she was watching you and made sure you knew it. as the night went on you grew more and more agitated, she had no right to act like that after the way she treated you.

you silently walk over to her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her away from whatever conversation she was having. you bring her to your room and shut the door.

“what the fuck is your problem?” she says, clearly annoyed.

“my problem? you’re the one who hasn’t talked to me in months and now wants to act like nothing happened.”

she scoffs as she begins to speak but you cut her off, “no seriously what’s wrong with you? you act like you act like me and treat me like your girlfriend then you just ghost me.”

“i didn’t mean to ghost you, i just got busy. my world doesn’t revolve around you y’know.”

you roll your eyes, “yeah you made that very clear, hope you and your girlfriend are happy by the way. i’d hate for her to find out what a shitty person you are.”

ellie sighs, “how’d you find out?”

“was it supposed to be a secret, were you trying to hide her? let me guess you’re cheating on her, telling someone else they’re the only girl in the world.”

ellie glares at you, “i didn’t cheat on you, we weren’t even together so why does it matter, god you’re so dramatic i never even liked you like that.”

“really, you’re telling me that the past six months meant nothing.” your voice begins to falter.

she shrugs, “yep, i never really liked you, honestly i regret even being with you.”

ellie instantly regrets what she said.

tears begin filling your eyes, “you don’t mean that.”

her heart aches at the hurt expression on your face but she decides that you’re better off without her. she doesn’t stop the words coming from her mouth.

“i do, you’re so desperate to get people to love you it’s embarrassing, i don’t know what i ever saw in you.”

tears began to fall from your eyes, “honestly i’m glad we had this talk, i got to see what a shitty person you are.”

she turns to leave your room, closing the door behind her.

you’re left standing in the middle of your room, tears falling down your face knowing you just lost the person you loved.

a/n: will they make up? ig we’ll never know 🤷‍♀️ jk yall will know soon 🤭 anyways hope yall enjoyed!🪿

taglist: @lavenderseedling @iadorefineshyt @nattakasuperlesbian @pearlzxx @beanbagbitch @liasxeatt @liztreez @moonfloweredprincess @starlightles2 @beaflyy @oneinameliann @softqirls

[gooseraider]

can someone please write an ellie x reader love island au i literally can’t stop thinking about it 🙇‍♀️