goodbyeeforgood - Tumblr blog

[goodbyeeforgood]

I never thought I'd lose my voice yet here I am.

it’s sad, but true- I just don’t feel much of anything anymore (m.m.m.) 10.13.20

[goodbyeeforgood]

Dear 17 year old me, You pray every night he’ll ask you to prom & when he finally does it feels like your dream has come true. You are happy beyond measure & the two of you have a happy month just simply basking in each other’s presence & flirting. You will find the perfect dress & feel like a princess. However, you won’t be treated like a one. Guard your heart & mind that night, sweet girl. He’ll dance the first dance with you, only because he’s obliged to. After that’s over, he’ll leave you standing awkwardly on the dance floor, about to cry. But don’t cry. Ryan will come & cheer you up. The two of you will dance. Travis will come running up to you when you’re sitting at the table by yourself. The two of you will dance four times that night. You’ll gain a new appreciation for the boy who was previously only annoying. Sangria will always stir something deep inside of you. You'll never forget the image of him standing on that stage, belting out that song. You'll never forget the dark gym, the lights bouncing off his face. But you'll also never forget the way you & Travis danced, moving happily to the beat of the song. Travis will get down on one knee & thank you for being his last dance of the night. The one who left you will drive you home because he says he is a gentleman, and that hug you get at the door will be the last hug you ever get from him. After that day, the words you speak will be far and few between. She will have his attention far more than you do. You are going to lose your breath every time your parents mention prom because they love him. They don’t know what happened between y'all and they never will. You just weren’t quite sure how to break it to them. You will keep skirting around the topic for years upon years. You won’t do your lab together like y'all have since sophomore year. Darling, it’s going to feel like a knife in your heart. You won’t be able to breathe because if you do, the tears will pour out. But it’s okay. I promise. You get past it. Cheyenne and Monica invite you to do your lab with them & y'all laugh so hard that you forget for one minute. You move on. Travis becomes closer to you than you ever thought he would. He becomes the guy friend that you needed. He picks you up when you’re down without even knowing. You discover he’s a blessing in disguise. Claudia holds you close, knowing what must be said before you do. Love her, keep her close. She is so valuable to you. She is one of your greatest blessings in life. Marissa, I promise that you will understand why this happened. You can’t see it now, but you will. I promise, darling. Love, You

2.12.16

wow.... coming back to this over three years later... and wow. So many blessings in my life for sure (8.27.19)

[goodbyeeforgood]

What have I put you through the past 2 years, 5 months, and 17 days?

how are you still here... must be some love that you have for me (m.m.m.) 8.27.19

[goodbyeeforgood]

I hope one day you’ll be able to go a whole day without a single thought of him.

(m.m.m.) 3.11.15 (via goodbyeeforgood)

I’ve made it :) 8.27.19

[goodbyeeforgood]

I never thought I'd say it, but my boy that puts fire in my soul and feathers in my heart is still here.

over the past 2 months we’ve been through incredible ups and downs and he hasn’t left yet (m.m.m.) 11.7.17

[goodbyeeforgood]

I have never felt this way before Like there’s fire in my soul And feathers in my heart You make me light & feel like I’m burning up all at once It is one of the loveliest feelings ever

please never make me stop feeling this way (m.m.m.) 6.15.17

[goodbyeeforgood]

Some nights I lie awake long after we’ve said goodnight In disbelief that we are where we are today For I still remember the first time I saw you And I still remember knowing you could never be mine

Yet here we are, together (m.m.m.) 6.5.17

[goodbyeeforgood]

He’s pretty, he's handy, and he's country, and he’s addicting like you wouldn't believe.

someone help me quit, because he's like crack (m.m.m.) 3.15.17

[goodbyeeforgood]

He’s about 4 inches taller than me with this curly brown hair & he just kills me, tbh. He’s such a flirt but he’s so sweet. I’ve liked him for a while now but I wish I could stop because I don’t think he truly likes me. I’m going to end up being hurt but when he laughs, his eyes crinkle at the corners & he looks back at me to see if I’m laughing too. He’s religious & I love his family. Why must I love him?

this has been sitting in my drafts for who knows how long, & oh goodness it’s all still true  (m.m.m.) 11.5.15 {posted on 1.10.16} (via goodbyeeforgood)

Still true 1.25.17

Not anymore 3.10.17

How could I have ever believed this was love? 11.7.17

[goodbyeeforgood]

i want to tell you that even though you left my life, or i left yours, or whatever happened, the sun still rose. and the sky was still the sky. and i woke up this morning and even though you don’t love me anymore i can still breathe. and even though i don’t love you anymore i can still write. and i’ll always remember you because what you did to me was unforgettable. and i know you’ll always remember me because you’ll never find anybody who can love you like i used to. not even me.

[goodbyeeforgood]

I will always be thankful for you.

because without you I wouldn’t know that i could write like this (m.m.m.)

[goodbyeeforgood]

i. I met him over Christmas break and he would call me babe. I never had a boyfriend before. I thought that he was good. Then the ass grabbing and the picture requests started. I dumped him on a rainy cold day in February. ii. He asked me what dinosaur I would be. He was always there for me when i was alone. He told me jokes and made me laugh. One day he told me he had to break up with me. Half of my freshman class witnessed it. I was made fun of for days. iii. For one year I watched and wanted him. In May, I got him. By September, I lost him. He killed my spirit and crushed my dreams.

the three guys i thought i liked but i now see were simply lessons disguised as what i thought were blessings (m.m.m.) 

[goodbyeeforgood]

-From my ex-boyfriend

[goodbyeeforgood]

It has been two years. Two long, painful, valuable years. Two years ago, when I looked at you, I smiled. Two years ago, every word that came out of your mouth was flirtatious. Two years ago, you texted me day & night because you wanted to learn everything about me. Two years ago, you met me in the cafeteria between exams where we spoke for hours. ~ ~ ~ Now, when I look at you, I keep a straight face. Now, every word that comes out of your mouth is never directed at me. Now, you wish you could forget everything you learned. Now, you wouldn’t be caught dead talking to me.

where did the time go? what happened? (m.m.m.) 5.19.16

[goodbyeeforgood]

I was sitting, scrolling through Twitter, and mourning my life. He doesn’t like me anymore. I’ll never have anyone. But that’s when my phone buzzes with the message someone else, from the one who annoys me to no end, but is always there for me. “Look up” So my eyes wonder upwards and there he is, standing in the hall, waiting. And when I look, he breaks out in this huge smile, this ecstatically happy smile. It’s one of those smiles where you can’t help but smile back and believe God sends people into your life at certain times for a reason.

They're either a blessin' or a lesson (m.m.m.) 2.10.16

[goodbyeeforgood]

I thought you liked me, I thought you cared.

How could I be so wrong? (m.m.m.) 2.7.16

[goodbyeeforgood]

He’s about 4 inches taller than me with this curly brown hair & he just kills me, tbh. He’s such a flirt but he’s so sweet. I’ve liked him for a while now but I wish I could stop because I don’t think he truly likes me. I’m going to end up being hurt but when he laughs, his eyes crinkle at the corners & he looks back at me to see if I’m laughing too. He’s religious & I love his family. Why must I love him?

this has been sitting in my drafts for who knows how long, & oh goodness it’s all still true  (m.m.m.) 11.5.15 {posted on 1.10.16}