goldenikaros

[goldenikaros]

he ball

[goldenikaros]

Forget about torturing your blorbos, putting them through the ringer. I'm putting my blorbo in perfectly ordinary, pleasant situations. Their tortured personality will cause them anguish anyway, making an absolutely mundane scene into the most dramatic, agony filled affair as though the world is ending and it's all their fault

[goldenikaros]

I just don’t caaaarreee. I don’t care. But I care a lot though I care SO much. But also I just don’t care at all and never have. But also I do and always will. Hope that helps

[goldenikaros]

(lights a cigarette) nobody even wants to play toys anymore. (puts the cigarette out on a play-dough ashtray) because of work.

[goldenikaros]

there are things i wanna be that i already was

[goldenikaros]

god i love marko hes such a fucking old man

[goldenikaros]

"what is this, a post for ants?" I type to my gen z rp partner suddenly turning to dust and realizing generational divide is real

[goldenikaros]

Slade would end Tate so fast

[goldenikaros]

Let bro out

[goldenikaros]

major traffic incident

[goldenikaros]

I'm playing a real AU for the first time ever and Slade gets the honor of playing the game- he is gonna die so fast, rip

[goldenikaros]

So you're stuck in a thought loop.

Nothing interests you, so you force yourself to participate.

But the more you participate, the more angry and vile you become from not enjoying it. Watching those around you explode with fun, and you simply don't feel it. In fact, you're bored. It requires you to think really hard to be involved, whilst the friends around you could do it with ease.

So you have an internal battle, constantly swinging between "just have fun! Don't overthink" and full blown malice over your inability to feel involved.

You find yourself jealous. Jealous you aren't feeling what they are. So you start to isolate. Sure if they saw your angst youd just be causing more problems. But you find you are doing it to yourself. It's self fulfilling. You isolate then panic you are alone. You try to get involved again, with your friends interests. A good friend listens like that. They keep asking you what you like, what you want to talk about. You don't have anything to share. You simply want to listen to them. Thinking for yourself or your own wants seems foreign.

So you sit again, being joyful by choice and playing a part. You hope, eventually you'll actually feel it. But you stopped banking on it. You sit and wait, wait for yourself to rot away. The internal dialogue screaming at you.

You did this. You put yourself here. You don't try hard enough for these interests, you complain about it all.

Then the counter point.

You are just frustrated. Putting yourself down only makes it worse. So keep trying

You repeat this cycle. Over and over. But nothing's working. Your feelings aren't changing. You are a miserable person, and you just keep fighting to keep yourself from putting others down

[goldenikaros]

So you're stuck in a thought loop.

Nothing interests you, so you force yourself to participate.

But the more you participate, the more angry and vile you become from not enjoying it. Watching those around you explode with fun, and you simply don't feel it. In fact, you're bored. It requires you to think really hard to be involved, whilst the friends around you could do it with ease.

So you have an internal battle, constantly swinging between "just have fun! Don't overthink" and full blown malice over your inability to feel involved.

You find yourself jealous. Jealous you aren't feeling what they are. So you start to isolate. Sure if they saw your angst youd just be causing more problems. But you find you are doing it to yourself. It's self fulfilling. You isolate then panic you are alone. You try to get involved again, with your friends interests. A good friend listens like that. They keep asking you what you like, what you want to talk about. You don't have anything to share. You simply want to listen to them. Thinking for yourself or your own wants seems foreign.

So you sit again, being joyful by choice and playing a part. You hope, eventually you'll actually feel it. But you stopped banking on it. You sit and wait, wait for yourself to rot away. The internal dialogue screaming at you.

You did this. You put yourself here. You don't try hard enough for these interests, you complain about it all.

Then the counter point.

You are just frustrated. Putting yourself down only makes it worse. So keep trying

You repeat this cycle. Over and over. But nothing's working. Your feelings aren't changing. You are a miserable person, and you just keep fighting to keep yourself from putting others down

[goldenikaros]

brain stop brain stop

Brain stop

like why are you such a toddler?

[goldenikaros]

oc doodles from last night's stream

[goldenikaros]

[goldenikaros]

Funny meme--

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