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ALL I NEED — batman!toji fushiguro
〣batman!toji fushiguro x reader series .ೃ࿔
༉ synopsis . . . gotham's most eligible bachelor is in desperate need of a secretary. you think you can take on the job, but how were you supposed to know that the toji zenin is the batman? and how were you supposed to know that you were going to end up in his mess?
༉ content warnings . . . MDNI . . . slowburn drama, non-curse au, non-canon compliant [to both jjk and the batman(2022)], afab!fem!darling, broody and emo toji, ooc toji, the zenin name holds little canon-compliance relating to how they treated toji, canon-typical violence, spoilers for the batman (2022), canon-typical angst, eventual smut . . . more to be added(?)
༉ notes . . . a very self-indulgent toji x reader au, which was fueled by this post by my fairy god auntie! this series will mostly follow the plot of the batman (2022) and will eventually have post-series oneshots!
〣table of contents .ೃ࿔
read on ao3? <- coming soon . . .
I. Thursday, October 31st . . . ready to post - 11/23 II. Batman's a dunce . . . pending . . . III. The Interview . . . pending . . . tbd . . .
*⁀➷ taglist ༉ [OPEN 20/50] - reblog and comment on this post to be added! ༉ you MUST be 18+ to be on this list. please have your age visible immediately on your profile if i check it.
@tojisth3rdwife @creamflix @darlingatstars @ivy-vivii @risararelywrites @chiiinglebells @brookecookie73 @planetxella @vivian-555 @binniestruelove @cocoamide @lauuriiiz @aerareads @cipher-needs-2-sleep @hellokittyloverrxox @tadabzzzbeee @darlingatstars @strawnanamilk @gojodickbig @moncher-ire
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what you know - ch2: prom queen || r. sukuna
❦ ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]
❝ you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. ❞
❦ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. implied injury. family trauma. smut. slow burn. tags will be updated as series continues.
❦ additional tags ; college parties and themes. sukuna ooc warning as this is a realistic take on modern sukuna. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6"11.
❦ words ; 12.3k.
main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter - coming soon
The sun is high in the sky, warming your skin in the crisp air. The sounds of chatter and laughter fill the campus and in the distance a student is playing their guitar. Your thoughts, however, aren’t occupied by the warmth or the idle noise that fills the air around you. Your mind is preoccupied with Sukuna.
“Honestly, I just can’t get over the fact that you actually make it sound like you had a good time with him,” Shoko comments as you make your way from your lecture to the lunch hall. Of course, you’d left out any portions of the story that felt private, things Sukuna was likely trusting you with. Even without the shreds of vulnerability he showed you, your time with him is still so uncharacteristic for how Shoko would know Sukuna.
“Well… yeah. Honestly, I did,” you admit with a shrug, casting a glance at your phone to take a look at the time. “Hold on, I need to make a pit stop.”
Shoko hums in confusion, standing at the edge of the pathway as you casually jog to wait at the fountain for Sukuna a few minutes before noon. The autumnal breeze is cool as it hits your face, leaving behind a faint blush over your cheeks and the tips of your ears. Your fashionable but functional auburn knit sweatshirt hangs loosely over your shoulders to protect you from the wind’s bite as you shift from side to side on your heels awaiting Sukuna.
A minute past twelve, you catch a glimpse of him in the distance. His hair is pushed back as usual, his leather jacket hanging over his shoulders with a plain black muscle shirt and a pair of loose jeans hanging off his hips. His hands are shoved in his pockets, expression unreadable as usual.
As he approaches, you wave with a sweet smile. He meets your gaze, barely acknowledging you with a small nod. Coming to a stop before you, he drags his backpack down from his shoulder, digging through it for the GameBoy to hand it to you.
“Thought he left it at yours,” Sukuna sighs as he passes it to you.
Taking one look at the console, you shake your head as you slide your hands over his fingers and wrap them around the device for him. He scowls at you as he realizes your meaning before you can say it.
“You can keep-”
“No.”
You blink at his stubbornness, pulling your hands back to fiddle with the hems of your sleeves. “I really don’t mind. He’s a good kid, I’d rather it go to use than rot in my drawer,” you shrug.
“He stole, he doesn’t get to keep shit,” Sukuna insists.
“Then make it some sort of incentive. Get them to do some chores and if they do, they get it.” You smile at the idea, after all it’s somewhat of a gift for both kids given that they wouldn’t need to share any longer.
“It’s yours. I’m not taking it,” Sukuna stubbornly refuses, holding it out closer to you as though he’s trying to shove it into your grip.
Like that, it clicks and your gaze softens as you look up at the man towering over you. He doesn’t want to feel like a charity case, like he owes you something. He’s trying his best to get you to take it back for the same reason he hated that you paid for dinner. He doesn’t want to feel like he needs help.
“Why don’t we say it’s a gift for you instead of them, then?”
His brow twitches, somewhat taken aback, but he doesn’t say anything, quietly listening to you as you continue.
“As a thank you for saving me from being covered in oil. Now they won’t fight over your GameBoy and you can have some peace.”
You half expect him to boil over and blow up at you for even suggesting to give him a gift when you already paid for his dinner. And really, keeping you out of the hospital is more of a common courtesy than something that’s deserving of a gift. Yet, to both of your surprise, Sukuna just stares at the console, the air between you falling somewhere between tense and comfortable.
He’s fighting an inner battle to keep himself from blowing up, but he can’t bring himself to be upset with you. The part of him that does feel some sort of anger over the situation barely puts up a fight. He knows he doesn’t want to be angry with you just for being yourself. For being kind.
He sighs, shooting you one last look of consideration before he gives in. “Thanks,” he gruffs, shoving it back in backpack.
“No problem!” You grin cheerily. “Why don’t you come grab lunch with Shoko and I?” You ask, shooting a glance at your friend smoking on the path a few feet away as she waits for you.
Sukuna follows your gaze to Shoko before shaking his head. “Nah, I-”
“C’mon Sukuna,” you interrupt what you’re sure will be a meager excuse to not have lunch with you, making a point of not using his nickname in the middle of the campus. “Just for a bit?”
His eyes roll to the side as he gruffs out a “fine,” slinging his bag over his shoulder before shoving his hands in his pockets. He follows after you with a grumpy expression as you bound back to Shoko.
“Wait, is he coming with us?” Shoko asks, more in disbelief than anything else as you nod. She doesn’t mind, but Sukuna isn’t usually seen eating in the lunch hall. More often than not, he can be found with his group of friends tucked away in a back corner of the campus where it can’t be seen that they’re smoking weed.
Then there are the rumors that he’s been seen having a quickie in some girl’s car, something you wish Shoko hadn’t told you. You’re not even really sure why you’re so opposed to that knowledge but it makes you feel some sort of way.
You fall back into conversation with Shoko, trying to include Sukuna as best as you can although he doesn’t make it easy.
When you reach the lunch hall and grab your usual table, you pat the chair beside you for Sukuna to take a seat in as you and Shoko sit and pull out the lunches you’d both packed. You couldn’t be bothered with using one of the campus microwaves so you had meal prepped a bunch of sandwiches and salads for the week.
As more students begin filing into the cafeteria, the seats beside you begin to fill as the rest of your friend group finds their way to your table. Gojo and Geto sit on either side of Shoko, sharing an uneasy glance with one another at the sight of Sukuna at your side, followed shortly after by Nanami and Haibara, who hardly seem phased by the sight of Sukuna.
“Sukuna, right? I’m Haibara!” Yu introduces himself cheerily. You can practically feel the uneasy tension of the table as Satoru and Sukuna seem to have some sort of silent battle of egos. You can’t even really be shocked by it, they’re both about as boldly egotistic as it gets.
“Hey,” Sukuna replies without casting Yu a glance.
Sensing the uneasiness of the table, you do your best to lead damage control. “Sukuna and I have been working on a project together, I thought it would be nice to have him join us!” You introduce the idea to your friends, setting your palm on his bicep. Sukuna’s muscles are tense beneath your fingers, so you squeeze his arm gently in reassurance.
He finally rips his attention from Gojo, flashing your hand a glance before his unreadable expression lands on you. Slowly, Suguru pulls Satoru’s attention to him and the tension in the air dissolves. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as you take a bite of your sandwich.
When your hand leaves his bicep, Sukuna leans over the table on his elbow, chin in his hand as he stares blankly at the wall.
“Are you not gonna eat?” You ask with a tilt of your head.
“Nah, I’m fine.”
You pout, eyes filled with concern. Much to his dismay, you shove the rest of your sandwich in his direction. He curls his lip at the thought of taking more from you, shaking his head as he shoves your hand back. He can’t take more from you, not again. He can’t.
“I still have a salad, you can have it!”
Fuck, why are you so kind? And to him? Why are you so kind that he feels like he’s going crazy?
“Stop,” he grumbles, and he thinks if you were anyone else he would just walk away, so why does he tolerate how pushy you can be?
“Please?” You plead, tilting your head. You’re not sure what sort of miracle causes it to happen but with a glare, he snatches the sandwich and turns his shoulders to face the wall. Even as he makes a show of being a prick about it, you’re just glad he takes it at all.
You pull your fork from your bag with a smile and begin shoveling your salad into your mouth as you catch the look Shoko’s giving you. The way her brow is raised, eyes flitting between you and Sukuna says it all as you roll your eyes.
To your disappointment, Sukuna excuses himself shortly after finishing the sandwich, before you have an opportunity to chat with him at all. You call after him, but he doesn’t so much as acknowledge your presence. Sighing at the sight of him walking away without so much as a word to you, you can only hope you haven’t accidentally angered him again.
“What brought that up?” Geto asks curiously as the table focuses their attention on you.
“Yeah, since when does that asshole eat with us?”
“Satoru!” You kick the white-haired man from under the table. He sneers at you, crossing his arms over his chest dramatically as he waits for an answer. “He’s nice. I just thought he might want to join us,” you shrug. “He’s not an asshole.”
“Are we talking about the same guy? The guy who pretends he has charm for a night so that he can get someone to suck his dick at a party and not return the favor?” Satoru asks as he rolls his eyes.
“You’re one to talk,” Shoko teases with a knowing look, trying her best to divert the table’s attention away from your painfully obvious interest in the tattooed man as you fumble with your fork.
“At least I don’t flat out ignore anyone I sleep with afterwards.”
“Oh please, as if you’re any better. The way you greet people like they’re strangers that you didn’t fuck the night before may as well be criminal,” Geto scolds with a frown.
With a scoff and a roll of his eyes, Gojo drops the conversation, not thrilled at the idea of being roasted by the whole table. He may be the school’s heartthrob, but at this table he’s just Satoru.
You expect that to be the end of your lunches with Sukuna, but to your surprise on your way past the fountain the following day, you spot him sitting on the concrete’s edge. Nudging Shoko, you point at him and the two of you make your way over.
You walk past the courtyard fountain every day on your way to the lunch hall and you know for a fact that Sukuna doesn’t sit here. He’s in a baggy shirt and cargo pants, and you note that he looks tired again, his work likely wearing him down.
“Hey!” You greet him, bounding over with a grin. He lifts his head from what you assume is a notebook, his pencil halting as he looks you over and hums as a greeting. “You left so quickly yesterday, I didn’t get to say bye,” you pout, jutting out your lip.
His gaze flickers to your lips and back so quickly that you’re sure you imagined it. “Had somewhere to be,” he gruffs, shutting whatever he was working on.
“You should join us,” Shoko cuts to the chase, too hungry to watch you beat around the bush when clearly you wanted Sukuna to join your group for lunch again.
He contemplates the decision, but nods. When you grin up at him as he gets to his feet, he’s sure he must have gotten a head rush with how his head feels like it’s spinning. He’s not even really sure what he’s doing at the fountain to begin with, his legs brought him here without thinking twice about it.
He trails a short distance behind as you and Shoko discuss the strange lesson you had just gotten out of. Your professor has a habit of going off-topic to discuss his latest interests, which is frustrating enough as is, but on top of that, you have a test next week that both you and Shoko feel horribly unprepared for. Rather than learning about the modern revolution, you instead learned about your professor’s preferred bait to catch sea bass.
“Well if the test calls for the difference between deep sea fishing and lake fishing, I’m set,” Shoko scoffs, pulling a cigarette from a small box in her pocket and balancing it between her lips. She pulls out a lighter, sparking it multiple times to no avail, unable to light her cigarette.
Before she can groan about how her lighter’s about as useful as that class, Sukuna nudges her and hands her a lighter as he falls into step between you. Her eyes widen and she casts a glance at him before her lips quirk up into a grateful smile. Once lit, she hands the lighter back and thanks him as smoke puffs from her lips.
Sukuna hums, dropping the lighter in the pocket of his cargo pants. You don’t expect him to have anything to add to the conversation, but his deep voice catches you off-guard. “I could help.”
You tilt your head to look up at him questioningly.
“I’m a history major,” he reminds you.
“Oh!” You exclaim, lips pursed. “You know the modern revolution?”
“Mhm.”
“I-” You pause, staring straight ahead as you near the lunch hall. Of course you want to say yes, but one sidelong glance at his face reminds you just how little time he already has, and as is you’ve been taking up a lot of it recently. “Um, are you sure?”
He raises a brow as you hum and haw over his offer. “Wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t.”
It almost feels foreign to hear the man most commonly known for his shitty attitude and poor attendance offering his help in tutoring, of all things. Yet, if he’s proven anything to you over the past couple of weeks, it's that you shouldn’t be judging anyone so baselessly. After all, he may not be the most eloquent with words but Sukuna is extremely smart and dedicated.
“That would be great, thanks Sukuna!” You beam, grateful that maybe you won’t fail your test next week.
You push through the doors to the student cafeteria just as Shoko is stubbing out her cigarette beneath her foot. You and Sukuna follow her to your usual table, though as you make your way there it occurs to you for the first time that you’re being watched.
Multiple pairs of eyes follow you and your salmon-haired new friend, many giving you strange looks while others regard you with jealousy. You shrink into yourself, suddenly too aware of the eyes on you.
It’s not that you aren’t accustomed to staring on one hand, Satoru and Suguru sitting at your table earns a lot of longing eyes in your direction and you would be lying to say you don’t get your fair share of lingering stares. On the other hand, you can practically feel seething anger and envy coming from the surrounding crowd in droves, because Sukuna doesn’t sit with others at lunch. Sukuna doesn’t offer to tutor people. Sukuna to most, is an enigma. A hot one, at that. To most, he’s a cold-shouldered asshole who people would beg to sleep with.
Clearing your throat, you focus on the lunch you’ve pulled out of your bag as you take a seat. It’s still from the same group of prepped lunches from the day prior, a sandwich and salad, nothing too fancy, though your stomach growls at the sight of it.
Sukuna drops his bag at his feet, leaning forward over the table with his elbow propped beneath his chin just like the previous day. The rest of your friends file into the lunch hall shortly after you, and aside from Satoru’s clear contemptful look towards Sukuna, no one seems to think twice about having him there. Yu cheerfully greets him and Suguru offers a calm wave. Sukuna doesn’t return either, but if either of your friends are bothered, they don’t show it.
Before you can take a bite of your sandwich, you glance over at the man leaning over the table beside you. His expression is tired and distant as he stares blankly at the wall off to the side. Just like yesterday, he doesn’t have a lunch, so you push the container with your sandwich in it towards him until it nudges his elbow and gets his attention.
Sukuna blinks twice before staring down at the container. He shoves it back to you just as he had the day before.
“Take it as a thank you for helping Shoko and I study?” You plead, pushing it back towards him and insistently holding it in place. He sighs a little overdramatically and takes the sandwich, taking a bite of it and returning his chin to rest on his palm.
“You wanna do that now?” He asks as he finishes his first bite, staring sidelong at you.
Your eyes brighten and you grab Shoko’s attention with a nudge of your shoe against her leg across from you. “Come review the modern revolution with us.”
Her eyes, along with several other pairs of eyes at the table, fill with surprise and she nods as she gets up and settles on the opposite side of your new study buddy. Pulling out your textbook and notes, you open to the chapter your professor had seemingly glazed over in class.
You learn quickly that Sukuna isn’t the best teacher. He isn’t patient and doesn’t love repeating himself, but he does know the subject well. In spite of his obvious scowl when you ask him to reiterate a point, he still does so even if it’s followed by a dramatic sigh. By the time lunch ends, you have a surprisingly good grasp on the first chapter of your textbook.
“You’re a lifesaver,” you sigh as Sukuna gets to his feet quite suddenly. He doesn’t say anything, his expression unchanging as he slings his bag over his shoulder. He nods in acknowledgement and before Shoko can thank him he’s already gone again.
“You like one weird guy,” she comments as she slides into the chair he’d been occupying.
Turning your attention in her direction, you raise a brow. “I don’t like him in that way.”
She smiles, eyes shining. “Yeah, alright. You just run to him every time you see him for fun then, huh?”
“I don’t run to him every time I see him,” you scoff, shoving your notes into your bag.
“And I don’t smoke behind the lab,” she snorts, laughing when you shove her.
“Such a bad habit,” you mumble, diverting attention away from you. After all, Shoko’s wrong. Sukuna’s hot, but you aren’t crushing on him.
Not that the following day does anything to prove her wrong when you veer sharply to the right at the sight of Sukuna at his usual (as of 2 days ago) spot at the fountain.
“Hey!” You greet him as cheerily as ever as you stop in front of him. He shuts his notebook at the sound of your voice, his aloof expression shifting to one you almost don’t recognize on him- mirth. He looks well-rested today all things considered, and his shoulders seem to relax at the sight of you.
“Hey,” he replies easily, shoving his books into his bag as he gets up to trail behind you and Shoko without even needing to invite him to join you.
“You know, I’d almost think he likes sitting with us,” Shoko whispers quietly to you, casting a glance at him. He’s watching your exchange although you’re positive he can’t hear you. You do nothing more than giggle in reply.
“Care to share with the class?” Sukuna chides with a raised brow.
Just as you go to shake your head no, Shoko happily repeats herself. “I was just saying I think you like sitting with us.”
Sukuna’s expression is unreadable as his gaze flits to you momentarily before it lands on Shoko again. “I don’t have to help you study if you don’t want me to,” he replies evenly, his tone just as chiding as Shoko’s.
Her eyes widen slightly and she goes silent as she turns to light a cigarette with a new lighter. Sukuna smirks in triumph, his chest rumbling with a teasing hum. She lets you know she’ll catch up with you in a bit as she decides to finish smoking before following after you.
“How are Yuji and Choso?” You ask now that Sukuna falls into step with you as you enter the lunch hall.
He rubs a hand over his face, casting a glance around him. “Exhausting,” he grumbles, stifling a yawn at the mere thought. “Yuji’s been giving the sitter a hard time lately about going to bed when I’m not home.”
“That’s kinda sweet, honestly,” you comment as you catch sight of Haibara and Nanami already seated at the table. “He loves you.” Taking a seat beside Nanami with Sukuna on your opposite side, you quickly greet your friends before your attention returns to your tattooed counterpart. “I still don’t know how you do it all, though.”
He sighs as he leans forward on his hand, the dark circles under his eyes evident. “I dunno either.” There’s something forlorn about his tone that causes your face to fall.
You take in his expression for a moment, wanting nothing more than to offer your help but you think better of it when you recall the way he reacted the last time you offered help. “Sorry, Kuna.”
Sukuna sits pin-straight as you use his nickname, an unspoken warning in his eyes. “Don’t call me that,” he growls, his voice lowering an octave as he shoots a glance at his surroundings.
“Oh, right! Sorry,” your cheeks redden as he relaxes slowly, letting the mistake go as he realizes it wasn’t intentional. You let out a breath as you realize he’s letting it slide, thankful he’s not taking it too seriously. “I think it’s cute,” you comment with a shrug as you pull out your lunch. “The name, I mean.”
“The last thing I need is to be seen as ‘cute’.” The word is sour on his tongue as he scornfully huffs his displeasure at the nickname.
You can’t help a smile at his comment which is somehow equally as cute as the nickname itself. Before you can tease him anymore, Shoko takes a seat beside him, pulling her textbook open to chapter two of the modern revolution. It doesn’t take long for him to dive into explanations of the demise of the military government that begin to make more sense with someone explaining the subject in more broad terms than the textbook states.
At some point in his lesson, you push your sandwich towards him and to your surprise, he seems to subconsciously take and eat it. You’re grateful to see that he doesn’t make a big deal of it either. Sukuna isn’t entirely aware he took it at all, his body acting on instinct as a natural part of the new schedule that came along with joining you for lunch.
It’s heartwarming regardless to know that to some extent, you’re getting through his tough exterior.
As your next class quickly approaches, you begin to pack up and tilt your head at Sukuna. “Will I see you in Art History later?”
The tall man casts a glance at his watch. “Yeah but I’ll only have a couple of minutes after class. Choso has some…” he stares at the ceiling as he wracks his brain for an answer. “I dunno. Some thing at his school.”
“No worries! We only have the visual portion left anyway. Oh! But I did refine the written part a bit, I was hoping to go over that with you.”
“Sure,” he agrees, and just like every other day he’s striding quickly away before you can even say bye. You let out a soft sigh as you watch him leave, staring blankly at the door until Shoko nudges you.
She has a knowing gleam in her eyes as she slides into the seat where Sukuna had been. “So, lovergirl. Care to admit it yet?”
“There’s nothing to admit,” you groan with a roll of your eyes.
“Sure, sure.” She lets the silence hang in the air for a moment as she leans against the table. “So since when have you started lying to your literal best friend?”
“You’re so dramatic Sho, I’m not lying,” you roll your eyes. “There’s just more to him than people think. He’s nice.”
“He’s nice to you,” Gojo butts his head into your conversation, only to receive two glares in return.
“Shut up, Satoru,” Geto scolds the white-haired man with a scowl. You shoot him an appreciative smile, but you’re taking back the smile almost immediately as he follows up with, “I’m listening in to this Sukuna drama, don’t interrupt.”
Idiots, both of them.
“You’re equally as unbelievable,” Shoko rolls her eyes at her friend, shoving her textbook into her bag alongside you as you both get to your feet to head to your next classes. “Listen, all I’m saying is that you’ve been around him a lot lately and it’s pretty fucking obvious at this point. So I don’t know if you don’t want to admit it to the dumbasses at the table, to me, or to yourself, but you aren’t fooling me.”
“Sho seriously, I promise it’s not like that. I just… feel for him. He’s a nice guy and has way more on his plate than any one person can handle,” you insist.
“And you like him.”
“And I like being around him,” you rationalize yourself to her, staring up at the ceiling as you leisurely make your way to your next class.
“You’re lucky I need to go the other way, girl. I could fight you on this all day.”
You brush her off with a wave and smile, sighing as you’re finally blessed with silence. It’s not that you don’t love Shoko, but her incessant teasing over Sukuna is becoming a lot. Not only that, but you don’t want to begin questioning your emotions when it comes to him given that you both have enough on your plate as is. Your attraction to him is surface level, and that’s fine with you.
–
When you’re dismissed by the professor, you quickly make your way up to Sukuna, who’s chewing on a toothpick with his nose in his notebook. You take a seat next to him, knowing you won’t have much time but hoping to at least get something together for the visual portion.
Sukuna casts a glance at you, keeping his thumb on the page of his notebook he was engrossed in as he shuts it and leans back. There’s a scowl on his face as he takes a look at the time. “Y’ got ten minutes.”
He sounds grumpy, so you try to make things quick. “Right, let’s start with the visual portion, since we have about a week left.”
Sukuna hums, sitting up and setting his notebook on the surface in front of him. He taps it a couple of times in thought before he opens the page to the one his thumb had kept a tab on. Curiously, you peer at the page as he pushes the book towards you.
It’s not a notebook at all, but a sketchbook and your eyes widen as you take in the stunning art scrawled across the page. All three art pieces the two of you had chosen have been blended into one piece, with the fallen angel at the center. Your jaw drops as you pull the book closer, examining the details and the way Sukuna has shaded everything.
“You drew this?” You gasp, tearing your eyes from the gorgeous piece Sukuna has drawn to take a look at him.
“Yeah. It’s just a sketch. I’d do it on letter size paper if you’re good with it.”
“Just a- what?” You gawk at him as you stare down at his ‘sketch’. It already looks like a damn masterpiece and you’re certain you could turn it in as it is and still get a high grade. This is better than anything you had in mind, the only thing you feel guilty over is that he’s actually done the whole thing on his own, and you doubt you can do anything to help. “How can I- I don’t know how I can help with-”
“So y’like it?” He smirks, leaning somewhat closer to you.
“It’s amazing! I don’t know how I can help, though,” you admit, looking up at him with a furrowed brow as you examine his features. A muscle in his jaw clenches as he chews on the toothpick that’s still hanging loosely from his teeth, dark eyes set on the page in your hands.
“You could look after the-” he pauses, glancing around momentarily to find that there’s no one nearby when he continues. “-the brats while I work on it.”
“Is that… enough? I mean, I’ll owe a good portion of the grade to you,” you point out.
“It’s fine,” he shrugs nonchalantly.
You can’t help it, but you’re pouting at him, and he can’t help but smirk at the sight. You want to do more to help, though a break from his brothers is more than enough for him to consider the visual portion to be a group effort. Besides, he knows you edited his written portion to sound more formal. He doesn’t realize it only took you five minutes, but that’s besides the point.
“Text me when you’re free? Oh wait-!” You snicker to yourself. “Email me when you’re free?”
In an instant Sukuna is on his feet, shoving his things into his bag as you giggle to yourself. “I’m leaving,” he grumbles, throwing his hood up over his head and popping in his headphones.
“Don’t forget to email me!” You call after him. He flips you off on his way out the door, your continued laughter to yourself met with stares from the few remaining students around the room. You aren’t oblivious to the fact that you and Sukuna are… an odd pair to say the least, but it doesn’t make the stares any less uneasy as you quiet down and quickly slip out of the room not too far behind Sukuna.
–
Sukuna’s email came fairly early in the morning before you woke up. When you checked it, you smiled to yourself.
[email protected] - Saturday, 6:34 AM off at 4. come over after
[email protected] - Saturday, 10:04 AM You gotta make these emails sound less like booty calls. Sounds good though!! I'll be there at 5 :)
You’re don’t expect to ear back from him given his lack of phone, so you get ready and go about your day while you wait for four in the afternoon to pass.
To your surprise, a bit after he’s off work, Sukuna sends you his address and a teasing ‘don’t threaten me with a good time’ that sends your mind spiraling more than you’d like to admit as you stare at the screen with a pounding heart. You don’t know how to reply to the email, so you leave it be, shutting your laptop for good measure.
It’s just teasing, anyway. It has to be.
So why the hell will your heart not slow down?
You drive over to his address with a bag of takeout given the time. Sukuna’ll likely be irritated by it, but at this point you’re willing to push his buttons to show him gratitude for how much help he’s been on this project, especially if you owe what you can only imagine will be another perfect grade to his art skills.
You dial his unit number in the lobby of his apartment at the buzzer, listening to the shrill rings from the box as you wait.
“Come up!” Comes Choso’s voice over the buzzer and the door beeps as it unlocks. You smile and make your way to the elevator, glancing over each unit number until you reach Sukuna’s door.
“Come in,” Sukuna’s deep voice travels through the door. You twist the knob and realize suddenly why it was Choso who answered the buzz, and why Sukuna had insisted that watching his little brothers would be enough.
Towards the back of the apartment is a table where Sukuna’s seated, clearly trying to work on the project. Choso is leaning over the edge of the table, eyes trained on the drawing as his face is practically blocking Sukuna’s. Yuji, on the other hand, is another story entirely. He’s dangling off of his older brother’s arm, going on about something he saw on TV today. You can’t help a bubbly giggle at the sight of Sukuna’s frustrated glance in your direction. He looks like his patience is hanging on by a very thin thread.
Yuji’s head whips around to face you when he hears the door shut and he cries out your name, dropping from Sukuna’s arm to bound up to you. Choso follows shortly after, waving at you as the youngest brother runs straight into your arms. You pick him up, supporting his weight as he hugs you while you smile at Choso. You kick off your shoes, making your way over to your project partner.
“How’s it coming along?” You ask, taking note that Sukuna seems to be using more than one medium, graphite and charcoal. Peering over his shoulder, you smile at the sight. Sukuna’s got basic shapes blocked out on the page, and the fallen angel’s face started. It looks so professional that you can’t help but wonder what Sukuna’s doing as a history major.
“It’s coming,” he grumbles, leaning forward on the heel of his palm as he eyes the way you’re trying to hold up his youngest brother, while also holding onto a brown paper bag and your backpack hangs off your shoulder. “Yuji, get down,” he scolds, crimson eyes sharp as the young boy clambers down from your arms and immediately begins excitedly prodding at Choso to get his attention.
“It looks amazing so far! I brought some stuff to keep the kids entertained while you work,” you tell him, rolling your shoulder in reference to your backpack. “Oh! I also brought dinner for us all.”
Sukuna’s eye twitches. You know what’s going through his mind right now, you can practically hear it, so you elaborate before he can snap.
“I just thought it would be a nice thing to do since you’re doing the whole visual portion of the project and all I’m doing is watching these two angels.” You make sure to emphasize that he’s doing more work than you are, that this isn’t a favor, this is repayment. All you can do is hope he’ll let it slide.
Your tattooed counterpart lets his gaze trail to his brothers as you call them angels, before it lands on the bag. He frowns, reaching out to take it from you and set it on the table in front of him as he looks in the bag. You know he’s not happy, it’s about as obvious as the sun in the sky, but for one reason or another he’s holding back his attitude, and for that you’re grateful.
“I’ll eat while I work. Leave me be,” he mutters, his voice strained as he shoots you a very obvious dismissive and irritated glance.
Your smile falters as he pulls a meal out of the bag before shoving it back towards you.
“Just let me know if you need anything,” you smile hesitantly before grabbing the bag and turning back to the two boys. They lead you over to the living room, split from the kitchen and small table area by only a counter.
Sukuna’s apartment is nicer than you expected. It seems to be a two bedroom apartment with a small kitchen and living room area. It’s obviously older and a bit run-down in comparison to your apartment but Sukuna’s kept it fairly clean considering how much work he already has on his hands. There’s an old flat screen TV facing a couch in the living room, as well as a shelf of mostly kids’ movies and a couple of horror films.
You take a seat with both kids excitedly peering at you as you open the takeout bag and hand each of them a small plastic bowl with ramen. Yuji takes it giddily and Choso quietly thanks you as they begin eating.
Your night is entertaining as you look after Sukuna’s little brothers. They’re both sweet and excited to see you, and you’re more than thrilled to find them warming up to you even more. When you pulled the old GameCube out of your bag and hooked it up to the TV for them, they were both over the moon and entertained for the rest of the night, making your part of the project beyond easy.
Glancing back at Sukuna as the boys played an old kart racer, you find yourself admiring the way his broad shoulders rise and fall with each breath, sharp eyes focused on his art. His jaw would move every so often as he concentrated on the project, running a hand through his pink hair in an effort to keep it off of his forehead.
As the night closes in on all sides, Sukuna makes his way over to the couch, leaning over the back of the couch on strong arms.
“Time for bed, all of you.”
“All of us?” You tease, peering over at Sukuna. His veins are protruding obviously from his muscular forearms and you need to divert your attention as your cheeks heat up at your own thoughts.
He smirks at you, eyes somewhat lidded. After a moment, he chuckles breathily and rolls his eyes, but his attention is pulled away from you quickly by his brothers. Yuji and Choso protest adamantly with their older brother, neither of the young boys wanting to head to bed ‘so early’ as though nine is early.
“If you two go get ready, I’ll read you something before bed,” you coax in an effort to alleviate any effort on Sukuna’s part. He eyes you curiously, and though you can’t see his expression, he’s relieved that he doesn’t need to argue with the kids.
“Promise?” Yuji’s eyes are filled with wonder as he approaches you.
“Pinky promise,” you reply, extending your finger to him. He wraps his own tiny pinky around yours in a silent agreement before the two boys go running off to brush their teeth and get changed.
Silence settles between you and Sukuna, one that sits somewhere between easy and tense. There’s really no way of knowing with him whether he’s still upset that you brought dinner or not as his expression gives nothing away. You can only hope his chuckle moments ago points towards the latter.
“Are you that shit at MarioKart or did you let them win?”
His gruff voice breaks the silence with a teasing lilt that makes your lips pull into a smirk. “I let them win,” you say with a fond smile as you glance at the screen detailing your seventeen losses.
“Yeah? The Prom Queen’s a gamer?” Sukuna’s got a sparkle in his eye that you don’t recognize from the past couple of weeks of getting to know him, but it suits him. His tone is as teasing as it is cocky and it’s exactly what you would expect from someone with an ego as big as his, at least now that he isn’t so painfully sleep deprived and toning himself down to handle his brothers.
You wonder if this is a glimpse of who he really is.
… Wait, did he just call you the Prom Queen?
“Prom Queen?” You scoff, eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Sukuna raises a brow. “You tellin’ me you didn’t try to get elected Prom Queen or however that shit works?”
You open your mouth in an attempt to defend yourself but you can’t manage to formulate a retort. As any chance of sparing yourself from humiliation dies on your tongue, Sukuna lets out a breath somewhere between a scoff and a laugh.
“Figured. I bet you ate that shit up in high school,” he teases further.
“Whatever, it’s not something to be ashamed of,” you pout, staring down at the indigo controller in your hands as you fidget with the buttons.
“So why’re you actin’ that way if you’re not embarrassed?” Sukuna pushes, smoothly hopping over the back of the couch as he leans close enough to you that your cheeks heat up from the close proximity. His eyes narrow as his smirk turns to a grin when an idea worms its way into his mind. “Holy shit, did I clock ya? You didn’t just try to get elected- you were the Prom Queen, weren’t you?” He pushes.
Huffing, you let out an exaggerated groan. “Yeah, I was. So what? It was fun.”
Sukuna throws his head back against the couch in a laugh. A genuine laugh that makes any amount of embarrassment over how easily he’d read you dissolve. His laugh is hoarse, husky in the way his speaking voice is, and you can’t help but smile despite yourself as warmth pools in your chest at the sight of him at ease and enjoying himself.
“‘Course it was,” Sukuna agrees teasingly with a shake of his head.
“I bet you didn’t even go to Prom.” There’s no way you don’t have him read like a book too, Sukuna wouldn’t possibly have gone to-
“You wanna put money on that bet?” Sukuna’s got a smug grin plastered across his face as your jaw hangs ajar. Shocked isn’t really the right word for what you’re feeling right now, but there’s certainly more to the grumpy history major than meets the eye.
“You went to Prom?”
“Don’t sound so shocked, Prom Queen,” he moves his hands behind his head, leaning back as he spreads his legs like a slut. Not that you’d say that to his face.
“I’m not- I’m just-”
Saving you from the embarrassment of trying to defend your misjudgment of Sukuna, Yuji calls out for you. Setting the controller aside, you flee from Sukuna’s side in search of the room where Yuji’s voice rang out. You disappear from the aloof man’s sight as you peer into the first of three open doors, oblivious to his gaze searing into your back as he chuckles to himself.
After a couple of moments, he sighs heavily, running a hand roughly through his messy locks. What the hell was he doing letting you into his life so carelessly? Fuck, you were helping his brothers fall asleep right now. Even for projects, Sukuna never brought anyone home. He didn’t get friendly with people either. His secrets started and ended with Uraume, his best friend, and now somehow you had wormed your way into his life and the thought of such a thing had him squirming in discomfort.
He rolls his shoulders backwards, staring at the ceiling as he listens to the sound of your voice. You’re speaking softly as you read to the boys, giggling when Yuji begins to tell you you’ve said one of the characters’ names wrong. Sukuna’s eyes flicker mindlessly over small details in the ceiling. A water stain here, a small hole from the rocket toy Choso had gotten for his birthday last year. Small details, small distractions from the real turmoil in Sukuna’s mind that he was avoiding.
You know too much about him. You’re too close. Once this project is over, that’s it. All ties cut loose, he can’t have you so close to him. He’s better off on his own, the way things have always been.
Hell, he’ll even still help you pass your test. But once that’s done and this project is handed in, that’s it. He’ll disappear. You don’t belong in his life and he doesn’t belong in yours. You aren’t two sides of the same coin, you’re cut from entirely different cloth.
You round the corner quietly after several minutes of Sukuna deliberating, smiling softly at him as you plop down on the couch beside him. “So, how’s the project coming along?”
Sukuna looks down at you, an eyebrow quirked. “Did they actually get to sleep?”
Your head tilts questioningly. Cute. Wait, cute? Sukuna shakes his head as if to shake the thought from his mind. Shit, he needs to get laid. Get these thoughts out of his head.
“Yeah, why?”
“Huh.” Sukuna taps his finger on his thigh twice. They never fall asleep without Sukuna there, even if he’s in the apartment. The neighbor across the hall who helps with babysitting always mentioned the two boys would whine and cry until Sukuna returned to say goodnight. So what makes you different?
When Sukuna doesn’t elaborate, you decide not to push, bright eyes moving behind the couch to the table. “Can I see the project?”
“Mhm.”
Your excited grin pierces his chest in a way that leaves him dumbfounded and frozen to the couch, unable to follow you as he stares blankly at the win screen of MarioKart. What the fuck was that?
Skipping off to the table, you stop and peer over the table at the mix of charcoal messily strewn along the edges of the paper in a similar style to ‘All is Vanity’, one of the three pieces your project is on, while the rest of the piece is precisely detailed in graphite. The fallen angel at the center of the piece admires himself in a skull-shaped mirror while clocks melt and litter the surroundings in a subtle manner. It’s so gorgeous and meticulously detailed that it draws your breath from your lungs in disbelief.
“Kuna,” you gasp, eyes wide as you admire the piece that Sukuna did in- what, five hours? “This is beautiful.”
The sound of your voice snaps him from his stupor and he gets to his feet, eyes trailing the length of your body before landing on the art piece.
“You think so, Prom Queen?”
“Don’t call me that,” you mumble, unable to pull your gaze from his art.
“Don’t call me ‘Kuna’.”
“It’s cute,” you insist, finally looking up at him. He’s frowning, eyes narrowed as he watches you sit down at the table and admire the art.
“I ain’t cute.”
You choose to ignore him, instead admiring his art once more.
“That work for the project?” He inquires.
Nodding eagerly, you grin at him. “There’s no way we don’t get a good grade. This is way better than anything I could have come up with.”
Warmth pools in Sukuna’s chest, unfamiliar as it takes root in his heart at your compliment. He scratches at his chest idly as if to rid himself of the feeling, humming in response.
Silence settles over you as you lean back in your chair. You know you should probably leave, but something piques your curiosity.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Shoot.”
“Why are you in history?”
Sukuna’s crimson irises flicker between yours in thought. He contemplates whether he wants to bother with the conversation at all but gives in and sits down at the table with you. He runs a hand through his tousled pink locks, sighing.
“My dad was a history teacher, shit’s interesting. It made sense at the time.” He doesn’t look at you, resting over the table with his temple against his palm.
“Why not go into art?” You ask.
He shoots you a sidelong glance, rubbing his hand over his face. “What the fuck am I gonna do with an art degree?” He asks. There’s no malice in his tone, he’s asking genuinely. “Shit’s no better than history for someone like me.”
“I’m not sure…” You deliberate. “Marketing or graphic design?” You offer, blinking at him.
He scoffs a laugh. “Shit’s impossible to get into. No firm wants a delinquent with attendance issues and face tattoos for an intern.”
Though he speaks matter-of-factly, there’s an underlying sadness to his tone, one that’s burrowed between layers of exhaustion and carefully built walls. He rubs his eyes, inhaling sharply.
“It’s fine. I’ll figure something out.”
“I think you could do a lot with your art.”
He lets out a deep sigh. “Maybe.”
“Really, I mean it when I say-”
“I get it.” He interrupts, a biting edge nipping at his tone as he shoots you a sidelong warning glance. You blink at him a couple of times, nodding slowly as you realize this is clearly a tough subject for him. Really, what subject isn’t tough with him? Sometimes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around him, never knowing what’ll set him off next.
“Sorry,” you mumble, glancing at the art in front of you. “I just thought-”
“I don’t care what you thought,” he snarls, that last strong of patience for the day snapping. “Shit’s complicated, alright? Not everyone gets everything handed to them on a silver fucking platter.”
Hurt pangs in your chest, piercing your heart in a way you don’t expect. You know his reputation, you know he can be an asshole, but it’s still a side of him that you haven’t seen yet. You bite your lip, nodding slowly. “You really think that?” He doesn’t reply, fire burning behind his pinprick pupils. You scoff out a breathy laugh. “Right. Um- I should go.” Your voice is meeker than intended as you get to your feet and head to the living room to pack up.
Sukuna’s head is still leaning on his palm as he stares at the table, his chest rising and falling with each frustrated breath. He doesn’t say a word as the looping background music from MarioKart cuts out suddenly. You stand uncomfortably on the opposite side of the couch, shifting on both feet as you stare at Sukuna.
“I’m sorry. I’ll leave.” You throw your backpack over your shoulder, turning to the door and flipping the lock. One last glance at your project partner tells you he hasn’t moved. You press your lips into a thin line, nodding as you show yourself out.
When you’re finally gone, Sukuna leans back in his chair, slouching back as he stares at the ceiling. He knows you’re hurt, he’s not oblivious that he snapped at you. Maybe this is for the best though. He’ll be gone from your life before the week even starts, like you never knew him at all.
–
Lunch the following day brings an uneasy feeling that settles in your chest as you walk past the fountain. You need Sukuna’s help, but when you slow as you approach the path that leads to the fixture, he’s not there.
Your heart sinks into the pit of your stomach. Had he really been that hurt by your words? You hadn’t meant to get under his skin, you only intended to help- but that’s the issue with him, it always is.
Besides that, you’re not sure what’s worse- the fact that you can hardly bring yourself to be mad at him or that he hurt you in assuming that life came easily to you and you didn’t have your own fair share of struggles. Sure, you aren’t working two jobs and taking care of your younger siblings, but that doesn’t mean life is a free ride for you.
“Where’s your bad boy?” Shoko asks, scanning the clearing for any sign of the man in question as she slows to a stop beside you. You don’t even realize you’ve stopped when you turn to face her.
You chew on your lip, shaking your head. “I don’t think he’s coming.”
Shoko’s brow lifts. “Oh?”
“I think I pissed him off,” you admit, mindlessly tugging at the hem of your skirt. “Sorry. If you fail the test, then drinks are on me,” you mumble, hardly trying to mask the hurt in your voice.
“Are you alright?” Shoko asks, pushing past your insistence on buying drinks.
“Yeah. Yeah! I’m fine,” you shoot her just about the least convincing smile she’s ever seen.
“C’mon girl, I always told you he was trouble. Just didn’t think he’d break your heart before you even admitted to liking him,” she mumbles the last part, earning a scowl from you as she tugs you away from the fountain.
Plastering a smile on your face, you let her lead the way to the lunch hall, taking a seat in your usual spot. Nanami slides in beside you alongside Haibara, with Gojo and Geto only a minute behind them.
“You’re early,” Kento comments, surprising you as his mahogany gaze peers past you to where Sukuna’s been the past week or so.
“We’re always the first ones here,” you cock your head to the side, wishing desperately in this moment that you could be oblivious to the stares from the rest of the table. For all they know, he could just be sick. Or away for the day. Or at work. They don’t need to know you had a petty and stupid disagreement.
“I fucking toooold you he’s an asshole,” Gojo interrupts your thoughts with the most grating comment he possibly can and you have to shut your eyes and take a breath in order to respond evenly.
“Nothing happened, Satoru. We just finished our project and he doesn’t need to hang around anymore,” you attempt to defend yourself.
“Oh? So studying wasn’t a priority, then?” Geto has his own way of being equally infuriating. Although Gojo has a reputation for being a nuisance, it’s a wonder Geto doesn’t share that reputation.
“We-” You pause, chewing on your lip. “Finished. We finished studying.”
“I seem to recall you were only on chapter three,” Nanami comments, though his push is more out of concern for your grades than your personal business, so you don’t let it get to you.
“That sounds right,” Geto agrees, as though the ball has been passed back to his court. “Of five, isn’t that so?”
“Enough, boys,” Shoko scolds in a motherly tone. You let out a breath, thankful for the way she manages to wrangle in Satoru and Suguru. Gojo shoots you one last knowing smirk, entirely too proud of himself for something that doesn’t concern him. Geto’s final glance cast your way is more genuine. Although he enjoys teasing, it’s clear he does care. You don’t spare either of them a glance as Kento speaks up.
“I can help you study, if you need. I’m no history major but I can read a textbook and make cue cards.”
You let out a grateful sigh, smiling half-heartedly at him. “Honestly, I’d appreciate it.”
He nods as you grab your textbook and notebook, pulling it open to the fourth chapter in the modern revolution section and beginning to go over it. As you work through the chapter with Shoko and Kento, you mindlessly pull out your salad and sandwich, your attention wavering and your hunger dying as you stare at the sandwich in particular.
Something stirs deep in your chest, twisting like a knife. Not only had your attention completely faltered, but so had your hunger, and you can only hope the rest of the table doesn’t notice as you quietly return the sandwich to your bag.
–
As Friday approaches quickly, you prepare your project to be turned in, only able to pray Sukuna would bring the visual component on his own terms, otherwise you’d be fucked. Your professor is fairly old-school and prefers everything to be turned in personally, which would be fine in most scenarios, but unfortunately you know Sukuna and you know he has a habit of not showing up to class.
Maybe you should have taken the art for safe keeping.
No, that would be rude.
Sitting in your usual spot with your printed thesis and your face in your hands, you rub your features in an effort to clear your mind. Sukuna needs this grade just as much as you do, he’ll be here. You sigh to yourself, watching the clock as the minutes tick by and Sukuna doesn’t make an appearance. You can’t even bring yourself to pay attention to the professor, too caught up in your own thoughts.
With one last glance backwards, you feel your heart sink to your stomach in dread as you have to turn in your project without the visual portion. You’ve chewed your lip raw at this point from the nerves of Sukuna not showing up and the taste of iron is stark on your tongue. Running your tongue over your lower lip, you wait until the rest of the class has left to meekly make your way to the front.
“Hi, I’m really sorry but I thought Sukuna would be here and he has our visual portion, so I’m not really sure what to do.” Your voice comes out as a mumble and your professor tilts his head questioningly.
“He dropped it off this morning. He let me know he wouldn’t be at class and that you have the thesis.”
“Oh.” You purse your lips, staring down at the thesis as you set it on his desk. You can’t decide whether you’re more shocked he was so proactive, or hurt that you couldn’t talk to him. Shaking your head, you plaster a smile over your features and take a breath. “Well, here’s the rest, then.”
Your professor observes you for a moment before accepting your submission, placing it in a folder with Sukuna’s art that’s been carefully placed inside a portfolio intended to keep charcoal from smudging. Catching a glimpse of the art makes the memory of Sukuna’s frustration pop back into your head and you press your lips into a tight line, excusing yourself.
It’s over. You don’t need to see him again. You don’t need to talk to him again. You can and should forget about him.
Pulling out your phone, you text Shoko in search of some liquid therapy.
–
A full week and a half later, your life has returned to the status quo, which you’re grateful for. Sukuna is little more than a passing thought, just another project partner in another class. Back to how it should be.
You managed to pass your history test and although you owe a good portion of that to Kento, you can’t deny the fact that Sukuna had been a godsend in helping you truly understand at least the first half of the modern revolution. You had wanted to share your grade with him, but at the end of the day, you weren’t friends. You had to keep reminding yourself of that.
“I literally owe you my life, Kento,” you sigh as you stare at your grade on your screen. “I honestly think my parents would have killed me if I lost my scholarship over a bad grade in history of all things.”
He hums, a calm smile gracing his sharp features. “No problem. I’m taking that class next semester, so I suppose I’ll be prepared.” You grin, casting a glance at Shoko who’s scrolling the page in search of her grade.
“Oh thank god,” she breathes out when she finally finds her student ID, leaning forward on the picnic table you’re all at after your last class.
The days are getting colder as fall makes way for winter. Leaves coat the ground, the sound of their crunching a constant as students make their way to their next classes. A crisp breeze bites at the exposed skin of your ankles, reminding you to swap your cute heels for a pair of warm boots.
Pulling your coat more snugly over your body as the breeze nips at you, you barely notice the vibration of your phone in your pocket. Pulling it out, you stare at the caller ID with a furrowed brow.
“Who is it?” Shoko asks curiously as she takes note of your expression.
You shrug, setting the phone back in your lap. “Auto Parts and Services?” You shake your head, leaning forward over the picnic table. “Must be a wrong number. I’ve never used them and my car is fine.”
“Maybe they heard the way you called your car fine even though it rattles whenever you stop,” Shoko teases.
You roll your eyes, shaking your head. “It’s just a loose screw or something, it’s not a big deal.”
“I would argue a loose screw in a car is a big deal,” Nanami frowns, concern etched across his features.
You open your mouth to defend yourself when your phone rings again. Confused, you pick it up, staring at the screen. “They’re calling back,” you comment, your thumb now hovering over the green button as you contemplate picking it up. Maybe someone hit your car while it was parked? No, then you would be getting a call from your insurance, right?
“They’re probably just trying to sell you something,” Shoko shrugs. “I’d ignore it.”
Taking her advice, you nod and set aside your phone again, letting it ring. If it was important, surely they’d leave a message.
“Anyways,” you continue, “you passed?”
Shoko nods. “I don’t know how you did it, Nanami, but I owe you too.”
He smiles easily, zipping his jacket up. “You don’t owe me anything. I don’t mind.”
“I’m still gonna do something for you,” you insist with a grin.
As your phone rings- again- you start to feel as though you really should pick up.
“Is it the auto shop again?” Shoko asks as you stare at the screen.
You nod, shooting a glance at her with a furrowed brow and, against your better judgment, you finally pick up and bring your phone to your ear.
“Hello?”
“Christ, you have a working phone but just can’t be bothered to use it, or what?”
Your eyes widen at the sound of the gruff voice on the other line. “Sukuna? You know, you could have started with a hello, or-”
Shoko and Nanami exchange a glance at the realization you’re getting a call from the very same Sukuna you’d been moping over the last week.
He audibly huffs on the other line. “Listen, I-” he cuts himself off with another frustrated huff, struggling to get through what he wants to say. “I wouldn’t be fuckin’ calling if I had anyone else to turn to.”
“Did you just call to insult me, or-?”
Another huff. “No. I didn’t mean it like that,” he sighs, shuffling on the other line. “Listen, I need-” he pauses, the silence on the line tense as he contemplates what to say. He harshly rubs his hand over his features as he finally manages to find his words. “I need a favor.”
Your jaw parts and you stare blankly at the picnic table. You should turn him down, you tell yourself. He should reap what he sowed in choosing to be rude to you, but are you even still mad about that? Were you ever mad over it? It hurt, sure, but a part of you hopes he didn’t mean to lash out. Didn’t mean what he said. You knew his boundaries and you’d pushed, even if only a little bit.
Sighing, you wonder if you’ll regret this. “What’s the favor?”
“The woman across the hall usually watches the brats while I work but Yuji just got sick and she’s ancient and doesn’t want to get sick too,” Sukuna begins to explain.
Stifling a halfhearted laugh, you shake your head. “You can’t say that about her, Sukuna,” you mumble over how he refers to the woman.
“What?” His smirk is audible in his tone. “It’s true. The point is, I can’t leave them alone. Choso can’t cook and I don’t-”
He doesn’t have money for them to order and he doesn’t want to leave them alone. You can fill in the details without him needing to embarrass himself any further than you’re sure he’s already feeling.
“I can… I can watch them,” you agree quietly. Shoko and Nanami exchange another glance.
You hear shuffling on the other side as Sukuna lets out a breath of relief. “I’ll owe you one, or whatever,” he grumbles, covering the shop’s phone with his hand as you hear someone call his name. His voice is muffled as he tells them he’ll be right there. “When you get there, just let Cho know it’s you on the call box. He’ll let you in.”
“Oh, um, yeah! Okay. When will you be back?”
He pauses for a moment. “Ten.”
You pull your phone away from your face, blinking at the clock. It’s just past three, you’ll be with them most of the night, which you don’t mind, but the lingering feeling of discomfort over your last interaction with Sukuna is one that you don’t particularly want to face now that you’ve mostly gotten over it.
“Okay, I’ll head over now.”
“Fuck, I owe you.”
“I don’t mind,” you insist. “You’re sure Choso will let me in?”
“He’s a smart kid,” Sukuna shrugs, though you can’t see it. “I gotta go. This is the shop’s number, call if ya need anything.”
“Right,” you barely manage to get out, chewing on your lip as the line disconnects.
“What just happened?” Shoko asks in disbelief, four pairs of eyes glued to you as they wait for an answer.
You glance between Shoko and Nanami. You can’t tell the truth, given that you’d promised Sukuna you wouldn’t tell anyone he was the sole caretaker of his little brothers and Kento didn’t know, so you make your reply as simple as possible.
“I’m just doing him a favor.”
“You just got over him and you’re gonna make me hear about him again? You have such a soft spot for him.” Shoko complains, as if this is about her.
“There was nothing to get over,” you groan, zipping up your coat and getting to your feet. You fumble with your keys in your pockets.
“Be careful,” Kento hums, aware he’s missing several pieces of the puzzle that is your relation to Sukuna, but still caring in the way only Nanami knows how.
You shoot him a grateful smile before making your way to your car.
The drive to Sukuna’s place has grown somewhat familiar as you pull into a guest spot at his apartment. Walking up to the buzzer, you hit the unmarked button for Sukuna’s apartment. It clicks as someone picks up, Choso’s voice sounding tired as he answers your buzz with a ‘hello?’
“Hey Cho, it’s me!” You reply, thankful he lets you in when the door buzzes. You make your way up to the apartment and twist the doorknob, which Choso has already unlocked for you.
The sound of distant muffled crying has you wincing as Choso peers up at you with a grateful expression, immediately clinging to your waist as he hugs you.
“Oh-!” You let out a small noise in surprise as he squeezes you tight.
“I dunno what to do…” He mumbles against you, pointing towards his shared bedroom with his little brother.
“That’s okay, I’ve got you,” you assure him with a gentle hug before making your way into his room with Choso latched to your leg. Yuji’s bawling at the foot of his bed, arms wrapped around his knees as he wipes away his tears.
“Hey, it’s okay,” you coo, gently stroking his hair. “Can you tell me what hurts?”
Tears trail down Yuji’s cheeks as he stops wailing at the sight of you, sniffling and wiping at his face. “Where’s Kuna?”
“Your brother’s at work, honey,” you tell him softly, kneeling down to his level to get a better look at him. You press the back of your hand to his forehead and sigh. The poor kid’s running a high fever and you doubt he can keep anything down. His breathing is uneven as the news of Sukuna being at work goes over less than ideally and he starts sobbing again. “Shh, it’s okay,” you coo with a gentle smile. “Can you tell me what hurts?” You repeat.
He quiets down for another moment, hiccuping as he points to his stomach.
You nod in understanding. “Were you sick?”
He nods, sniffling.
“That’s okay, why don’t we get you in bed?”
Yuji complies immediately, letting you pick him up and tuck him into his bed.
“Choso, do you guys have any medicine?”
The older of the two boys nods from where he’s still stuck to your leg, pointing towards the washroom. He lets go of your leg finally to lead the way, opening the cabinet beneath the sink. There’s a very messy variety of different medications and hygiene products for you to sift through until you come across children’s tylenol. That should work, right?
Returning to Yuji, you pour some tylenol into the measuring cup it comes with and hold it up for him to drink. He makes a face, though over the amount of tears and snot dripping down his face, it hardly comes across as anything but sadness.
Your heart pangs as he takes the tylenol before burrowing beneath the covers and sniffling again. Sitting on the edge of his bed, you gently rub his back. “Are you hungry at all?”
He shakes his head no. “Cold.”
“Do you have blankets, Cho?”
Choso blinks at you with a devastatingly sad look of concern before padding out of the room. The sound of a thump has you wincing and you get up to peek out of the room in time to see a walking pile of blankets. With a lopsided smile, you pick up the top blanket and find the young boy’s hair standing straight from static. Pulling the blankets from his short arms, you glance back at the pile of remaining sheets, blankets, towels, and other linens.
“Can you go put the rest of that back? I’ve got this.” Choso nods, turning away. “Thank you!” You call after him, making your way back to Yuji. With a flick of your wrists, you spread a couple of blankets over Yuji’s bed, tucking them in around him before setting the last one at the foot of the bed. “How’s that, honey?” You ask with a sympathetic smile.
Yuji manages a sickly groan, huddling further under the blankets. You glance around the room, finding a large tiger plush and handing it to him. Like an eel awaiting its prey, he reaches for it and pulls it into his pile of blankets, burying his face into it. You smile at him before shutting off the lights and backing away to the door.
“Let me know if you need anything, I’ll be in the living room with your brother,” you let the young boy know softly before shutting the door.
Choso shifts on his feet outside the door, clinging to your side again.
“Hey Cho, did you have lunch?” You ask, gently rubbing his back.
You can feel him nod against you, clinging to you tighter as you attempt to make your way to the living room, dragging your leg and the boy along with you.
“What did you wanna do?” You ask as you finally manage to drag him to the couch, relieved when he finally lets go of you to plop down on the couch beside you.
“Did you bring your GameCube?”
“No, I’m sorry sweetie,” you frown, “your brother called me while I was at school.”
“That’s okay. Can we watch a movie?”
“Sure! What did you wanna watch?” You beam at him, getting to your feet to head over to the shelf of movies. Scanning the spines of the films, there’s a few that stand out as very obviously Sukuna’s, while the rest seem to be for the boys. That being said, you also notice they’re all older, from the same era as when you were their age and you wonder if they were once Sukuna’s as well.
“Can we watch the Land Before Time?”
Ohhh he wants you to cry. “Of course!” You grin, mentally preparing yourself to watch it. You fumble under the TV for the DVD player until the movie begins before settling down to watch it, thankful to see that Choso seems to relax once it’s on, no longer occupied with worrying about his little brother.
The rest of the evening goes by without a hitch as you make pasta for Choso and soup for Yuji, who manages at least a couple of bites before going back to sleep. The older of the two boys continues to cling to you, insisting on a movie marathon. It’s getting late, but the poor boy’s clearly still concerned and you don’t have the heart to tell him to get some sleep.
With The Nightmare Before Christmas playing in the background and the clock ticking closer and closer to ten, your mind wanders to how your conversation with Sukuna could possibly go. It doesn’t feel as though there’s a world where it goes over well, so all you can truly do is sit and boil in your own thoughts, waiting for the click of the door as Choso slowly drifts off to sleep clinging to your arm.
main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter - coming soon
❦ a/n ; poor yuji :(( i hope you enjoyed!! chapter 3 will take a bit longer as i'm going to a work conference all week so i won't have much time to work on it. as always, likes, comments, and reblogs are super appreciated <33
❦ taglist ; OPEN. please comment here or on the masterlist if you would like to be tagged. age MUST be easily visible on your blog.
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writing & format © starmapz. art © 3-aem. dividers © adornedwithlight & cafekitsune
#sukuna x reader#sukuna jjk#jujutsu kaisen sukuna#sukuna x f!reader#sukuna x female reader#ryomensukuna
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not to be dramatic, but i'd tear my soul apart for gojo. that man is my everything i love him so much.
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To Be Loved Is To Be Seen. | Gojo Satoru x f!Reader.
warnings: self-doubt, mutual pinning, mental health struggles, emotional hurt/comfort.
A/N: hehe i know i said that i don't write but this is a little thing i wrote yesterday, (first time posting something that’s not a smau, so bear with me!) this is for my avoidant attachment cuties who have so much love to offer but that are also always scared of ruining things with the person they love and think they’re not enough. i feel you—i struggle with this too. but remember, you’re always enough and deserve love so don't push it away. i wrote this while crying (lol) because i found myself in a similar situation with my actual boyfriend when we first started "dating". hope you enjoy reading, let me know what you think!
also likes and reblogs are appreciated! :)
word count: 2320.
“No,” you say, stepping back and resting your hands on the kitchen counter. “Stop that. You don’t mean what you’re saying right now.”
“You’re wrong,” Gojo says, stepping closer to you. “I mean every word.” He raises a hand, reaching out to touch you. “Please, look at me.”
“I can’t,” you whisper, avoiding his touch. “You should go.”
“I love you.”
“You don’t.”
He falters, and for a moment, the silence between you and him feels like a heavy weight. His gaze never leaves yours, though you can’t bring yourself to meet it.
“I do,” he insists, his voice low but unwavering. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”
“I’m a mess,” you choke out, your voice trembling as you turn away, desperate to hide the tears that threaten to fall. “I don’t deserve your love. I’m broken.”
“You deserve better.” Your voice cracks. “Someone who isn’t afraid of loving you.”
The silence stretches as Gojo watches you, the pain in his eyes mirroring yours. His chest rises and falls with uneven breaths, as if he’s struggling to hold himself together. He takes in the way your shoulders hunch, the way your hands grip the counter behind you like it’s the only thing keeping you grounded. The tension is palpable, each second stretching out, heavy with unspoken fears.
“Stop,” he interrupts, his voice hoarse, filled with raw emotion that makes your heart stutter. “You’re all I deserve—and more than I ever thought I could have. Don’t you see? It’s always been you.”
He steps forward, ignoring the space you tried to put between you and him, until there’s only a breath between you. “None of that matters to me. I see you, all of you. And I love you. Every part of you, even the parts you think are too much to bear.”
“You don’t understand.” Your voice cracks, a sob catching in your throat. “I can’t… I can’t let you in. You’ll get hurt, and I can’t let that happen.”
“Then let me decide,” he says softly, his voice full of tenderness. “Let me be the one to choose.”
You shake your head, wiping your eyes, not wanting him to see how vulnerable you feel. “You don’t know what you’re asking. I don’t know how to love anyone… I don’t even know how to love myself.”
He steps even closer, his voice a soft but firm whisper. “I’m not asking for perfection. I’m asking for you. All of you, as you are. Because you are enough for me.”
You back away, the ache in your chest intensifying, but he doesn’t move. His eyes are full of something you can’t name, something that pulls at the deepest parts of you, something that terrifies you. “I can’t… I can’t let you do this.”
“Why?” Gojo’s question is quiet, almost a plea. “Why can’t you believe me? Why can’t you see that I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere?”
The words catch in your throat. The wall you’ve spent so long building starts to crack, but you can’t let it fall. Not now. Not like this.
“Because I’m afraid,” you finally whisper, your voice barely audible. “Afraid that if I let you in, you’ll leave when you realize how much of a disaster I really am.”
He takes another step forward, his eyes searching yours for some kind of answer, some sign that you’ll let him in. “I’m not going anywhere,” Gojo says, his voice steady. “I’m staying.”
Your breath hitches, and for the first time, you let yourself meet his gaze, really meet it. His eyes are open, raw, like he’s offering you every part of himself. The tenderness in his expression is almost too much to bear.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” you say, shaking your head, but your voice is quieter now, softer.
“I know.” He murmurs, his hand hovering just inches from you, like he’s waiting for you to make the choice. “But I’m not afraid of you. I’m not afraid of your pain. I’ll take all of it if it means I get to love you.”
A tear slips down your cheek, and you try to wipe it away quickly, but he reaches out and gently catches your wrist. “Let me love you. Let me stay.”
The words hang in the air between you—heavy and final. For a moment, the room feels like it’s shrinking, the tension pulling at your chest, at your heart. You want to believe him, want to let yourself fall into the safety he’s offering. But the fear, the doubt—it feels like a weight too great to lift.
“I’m not… I’m not ready,” you whisper, your voice trembling with the truth. “I’m not ready to let anyone in. Not like this.” You look at him, your voice barely a whisper. “Please, Gojo, you should go.”
He lowers his hand but doesn’t pull away. He steps closer, closing the distance until you’re standing so close you can feel the warmth of his presence, the steady rhythm of his breath. “You don’t have to be ready,” he says softly, his voice low and insistent. “Not right now. Don’t send me away. Just let me stay.”
You don’t know how to respond, don’t know what to do with the storm of emotions crashing inside you. But in that moment, you feel something shift. Maybe you can’t let him in completely—not yet. But maybe, just maybe, you don’t have to push him away completely either.
“I’m too much for you,” you whisper, almost as if saying it out loud makes it more real. “I can’t fix myself. No one can… not even you.”
Gojo takes another step forward, gently cupping your face in his hands. His touch is warm, grounding. “You don’t need to fix yourself. You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to be anything but you. And I’m not going anywhere, no matter how many times you tell me to.”
A shudder runs through your body as the tears you’ve been holding back finally spill over. You close your eyes, trying to hide the vulnerability from him, but he doesn’t let you. He pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around you, holding you with a tenderness that feels like home.
“I’m scared,” you admit, your voice muffled against his chest. “I’m so scared that if I let you in, I’ll destroy everything.”
“You’re not going to destroy anything,” he murmurs, holding you tighter. “You’re not going to destroy me, and even if you do, I wouldn’t mind being hurt by you if that means I could actually be with you, to love you. I’m choosing to stay, even if it’s messy. Even if it’s hard.”
Gojo pulls back just slightly, his thumb gently wiping the tears from your face. His gaze softens, full of affection. “I wish you could have my eyes for just a moment, to see how perfect and incredible you are. You’re an amazing woman. Don’t you see that?” he says quietly, his voice filled with warmth.
"I’m not perfect,” you say, your voice cracking again as more tears fall.
He lifts your chin with his finger, making you meet his gaze. “I don’t want you to be perfect. I never did. I just want you—exactly as you are. All the imperfections and scars, they’re part of what makes you who you are. And that’s more than enough for me.”
You inhale shakily, the weight of his words settling into your chest. “But what if I can’t love you the way you deserve?”
Gojo’s hand cups your cheek now, his touch gentle and sure. “You don’t have to love me perfectly. You just have to try. We’ll figure it out together, one step at a time. But you don’t have to be afraid to love me, or to let me love you.”
You let out a broken laugh, wiping your eyes. “I don’t know how to stop being afraid.”
“Then let me help you,” Gojo says, his voice soft, yet strong. “I’ll be right here, through the fear, the pain, and everything in between. Like i said, I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying. Always."
His words wrap around you like a blanket, offering warmth you didn’t think you could feel again. Maybe you’re not ready to let go of all your walls, but maybe, just maybe, you don’t need to be. Because with him here, you’re starting to think that it’s okay to take that first step toward trusting someone with your heart.
And as you stand in his arms, the fear doesn’t go away—but it starts to feel like something you can face, as long as he’s by your side.
And for the first time, you let yourself believe him. Hope stirs in your chest, fragile but present. Maybe, just maybe, you don’t have to do this alone.
© gojodickbig on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not cross-post, translate, copy in any way, etc.
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Imagine hating on me but i spend my free time maladaptive daydreaming about getting raw dogged by fictional men
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what you know - ch1: fallen angel || r. sukuna
❦ ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]
❝ you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. ❞
❦ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. implied injury. family trauma. smut. slow burn. tags will be updated as series continues.
❦ additional tags ; college parties and themes. sukuna ooc warning as this is a realistic take on modern sukuna. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6"11.
❦ words ; 12.1k.
main masterlist || series masterlist || next chapter - coming soon
You make a point of not judging a book by its cover. So, when paired with the college’s resident bad boy for the literal most important project of the year, you just nod to yourself. Of course, you’re aware of his very poor attendance record among other things you’ve heard about him. At the end of the day, the rest is all hearsay, so you’ll treat him the same as you would any other group project partner.
Searching around the lecture hall until your gaze lands on him, you shoot him a kind smile. You don’t expect him to return it, he practically always sports a disinterested or aloof expression and now is one of those times, it would seem. He’s wearing his usual oversized but fairly stylish shirt, baggy cargo pants and a leather jacket, even though it’s quite warm inside. One airpod sits in his ear, only half paying attention.
The two of you are practically polar opposites. You, who shows up to class ten minutes early, jots down every note you possibly can, and turns in projects a week early, not to mention your fairly preppy style, makes the two of you about as different as it gets. On top of that, there were moments where Sukuna would dip into a room late and you would wonder why he bothers paying for college at all. Does he even want to be here?
Turning back to your laptop, you decide you’ll set up some documents for your project to get ahead of everything and stop worrying about someone else’s life. You’ll just have to make the most of the project. Besides, Sukuna could be the best project partner you’ll ever work with.
Upon dismissal, you wait a moment for the room to clear before slinging your pale pink bag over your shoulder, holding your books to your chest and making your way up the lecture hall to where Sukuna’s seated.
“Hey, nice to meet you, I’m-”
“I know who you are,” he sighs. “I’m Sukuna.”
Rude. “Right,” you swallow, blinking twice as you attempt to clear your mind of the less than ideal first impression. “So, I was thinking since we need to analyze three paintings, I can choose one, you can choose one and we can do the work separately and then work together on the last one-”
“Sure, whatever.”
You purse your lips. That was easy. Or does he just not care? Brushing off the thought, you nod slowly. “Okay. Great,” you mumble somewhat nervously, unsure if the reason your voice is wavering is out of fear that you’re doomed from the project, or the fact that Sukuna is hardly giving you the time of day and it’s somewhat imposing.
Finding the nerve to meet his gaze, you find that it seems he’s barely paying attention. His deep near-crimson eyes accented by tattoos are trained off to the side, one hand in his pocket and the other is fiddling with an unlit cigarette. You have half a mind to wonder if he’s heard a damn thing you’ve said given the airpod still hanging from his pierced lobe.
“Do you, um,” you worry your lip between your teeth as you mentally reset to stop yourself from stammering. “Do you want to go over anything before we do our parts?”
“Nah.”
Nah? Oh my god, you’re doomed.
“Okay. No problem. Um, why don’t we just meet after class next Friday?”
Sukuna balances the unlit cigarette between his lips, shuffling to pull out his phone and open his calendar. “Sure,” he agrees, his words muffled by the cigarette.
“Great! I think we’ll want to start working on the third piece next week so I’ll choose the first painting and get started on it and then we can choose the last painting next week,” you say, putting the date in your calendar as well. “Oh! And we should exchange numbers.”
He hums in agreement, not even giving you the time for words now but he does give you his number. Realizing you aren’t about to get anywhere else with him, you shoot him a wry smile and make your way out the door.
Oh Shoko is so gonna hear about this.
–
Before you know it, next Friday comes around and when you turn your gaze to where Sukuna usually sits, you realize he just isn’t there.
Well that’s… lovely.
Leaning forward on your elbows, you groan with your face in your hands. This project was sure to be a nightmare at this rate. You could already see yourself going to talk to the professor about how Sukuna hadn’t done an ounce of work and it was all done by you.
Opening your laptop, you stare at the document you’d put together for Persistence of Memory, which may be an obvious choice but you love the painting too much to choose a different one.
Maybe you should just choose the third one on your own.
Maybe you should just choose the second one on your own…
Fuck.
You sigh, glancing back at Sukuna’s empty seat once more, and to your surprise just as you begin to give up hope upon seeing his seat empty, he ambles through the door in an oversized hoodie and sweats as though the lecture didn’t end fifteen minutes ago.
His gaze meets yours and he tilts his chin upwards at you, a silent message for you to take a seat near him.
Gathering your belongings, you take your laptop over to him, setting it on the table beside him in the mostly-empty lecture hall.
“Hey,” you greet him, receiving a grunt in response. “I was starting to think you were gonna flake out on me,” you joke with a somewhat nervous laugh when you meet his striking gaze. His disinterested eyes bore into you as he examines your nervous expression, and it’s then that you notice that- “are you okay?”
He sighs, heavy with exasperation, running a hand over his sharp features. His hair is still damp, not spiked up as usual as it hangs over his forehead, he has dark circles that make him look like he hasn’t slept in years, and his leg is shaking up and down like he’s got somewhere else to be.
“I’m fine,” he grumbles, unimpressed that you’ve noticed how horribly disheveled he looks, but he brushes it off. “You got somethin’ to show me?”
“I, um-” you pause, casting him one last uncertain glance at the fact that oh my god, he looks sick? “Yeah, so I chose a Salvador Dalì piece,” you tell him, nudging your laptop towards him so that he can see your analysis.
He casts a glance at it, and it’s then that you realize that he doesn’t seem to have a laptop on him. Hm.
He seems to have noticed your confusion as he pulls out his phone, fiddling with it for a moment or two before setting it in front of you. “Had to do something before our meeting, so I don’t have my computer right now, but here’s what I’ve got so far.”
You flash him a curious glance before staring at his phone screen, reading through his notes quietly. The Fallen Angel painted by Alexandre Cabanel. You can’t say you’re shocked, but it’s a good choice. His analysis is short and needs more detail, but it’s a good start and fairly insightful. Sukuna lacks elegance with his words, but this is just the research phase anyway. Okay, not a bad start.
Maybe this won’t be so bad.
To your surprise, although he’s mostly quiet, he gives you some input on your analysis and hums in agreement when you ask him to write a bit more in certain areas to match your research. He doesn’t even seem that bothered by it, only mildly inconvenienced. You would almost argue that he was agreeable if you couldn’t feel the side-eye you were receiving from him.
When you finally settle on C. Allan Gilbert’s All is Vanity for your final piece, Sukuna excuses himself quite quickly and makes his way out, grunting in agreement when you ask him to meet you at the same time next week. You had hoped to get some research done with him but this would have to do, and hopefully you would have more time next week.
Only… when next week comes, he doesn’t show. You lean over the desk where Sukuna usually sits, figuring maybe he’s just late again, but as the clock rolls past the thirty minute mark, you begin to lose hope. Tapping your fingers rhythmically over the desk as you stare at the clock, you resign to texting him.
3:39 PM || You: hey! just wondering if youre on your way
Another twenty minutes of staring at the sent text does you no good and you can’t really get much done without Sukuna’s portion, so with a sigh, you push yourself up and call Shoko to go out with you. At least now you can make the most of your Friday night, even if it’s a bit earlier than intended.
–
“He just completely no-showed, huh?”
“Not even a text,” you confirm with a groan, keeping your attention on the road as you make your way to the bar by Shoko’s house. The afternoon sun glints on the windshield of your car, warming the interior of the vehicle rather comfortably for the early autumn day.
“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Shoko hums at the thought.
“I really wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, I mean honestly his research wasn’t too bad,” you sigh, casting a glance at your best friend.
“Could still be salvageable. Maybe try asking him what works for him?” She suggests with a shrug, leaning back in her seat as she stares blankly out the windshield.
“I don’t know. I think if I leave things up to him, he just won’t do it.”
“Oh, because he’s been so good at showing up when you organize things?” She chides with a raised brow.
You suppose you can’t really argue with that, so you groan in response. “At least he has a good taste in art.”
“Yeah?”
“A little edgy, but yeah. He chose The Fallen Angel, you know the one that-” you pause, moving your arm over your face to mimic the famous painting while keeping your eyes on the road and one hand on the wheel.
“Oh yeah, I think I know the one,” she agrees with a chuckle at your description. “I think I’ve seen-” she pauses as your car comes to a slow halt at a stop light. You shoot her a questioning glance when she remains quiet. “Speak of the devil. Isn’t that him?”
“Sukuna?” You question, leaning forward to catch a glimpse of whatever Shoko’s looking at.
Sure enough, the pink-haired man in question is on the sidewalk along with two young kids. He seems frustrated, his hand flying in the air in obvious exasperation and you wonder what his relation to them is. Your first thought is that they could be his, but the older of the two kids is just a bit too old to make that assumption.
Still, you didn’t take Sukuna as someone enthusiastic at the thought of being a babysitter.
“Shit, that is him,” Shoko confirms for herself. When the light turns green, the car jolts forward as you pull through a lane abruptly to turn and grab street parking very suddenly. “Woah, what are you-? You can’t be serious.”
“I-” your words die in your throat. Are you serious? What are you doing? It’s not like you’re friends. Are you here to confront him about not showing up? No, you aren’t really even mad, just frustrated at most. Your mind flashes back to how he’d looked the week before, like he could pass out at any moment, and you wonder if you’re here out of concern. “I don’t know,” you mumble, parking your car and hopping out.
“You are serious,” she mutters more to herself than you as she watches you leave the car with a sigh, following a short distance behind you.
The day is relatively warm for the early fall, the sun shining high overhead and providing a comfortable escape from the brisk breeze. Leaves are losing their vibrant green colors overhead, replaced with beautiful hues of yellows, oranges, and reds, and the sound of them rustling in the breeze is refreshing.
From around the corner, you can just barely make out Sukuna’s words. You were right to assume he was frustrated.
“Give it back to your brother,” he instructs, his voice a near-growl, but as the younger of the two kids whines in complaint, you can tell neither kid seems all that intimidated even by the almost seven-foot-tall man made of pure muscle who towers over them.
“No!”
“C’mon brat, I don’t have time for this,” he hisses out, voice rife with irritation. As you round the corner, lightly jogging up to Sukuna, you watch his gaze slowly turn to land on you and Shoko, his eyes widening for a moment as his expression shifts to surprise. For a moment you even think you see horror flash through his eyes, but he masks it all with his usual disinterested expression before you have time to think much about it.
“Sukuna?”
“That’s me,” he grumbles, running a hand through his tousled hair in exasperation.
“Hi! I’m Yuji!” The younger of the two boys bounds up to you, blatantly ignoring Sukuna as he waves to Shoko behind you.
You grin at him, kneeling down to his height as you greet him with your name. His eyes are filled with delight and as you get back to your feet, you put the pieces together. These must be Sukuna’s little brothers. Although the older of the two doesn’t particularly look like him, the youngest is a near carbon copy of Sukuna, only lacking his tattoos, piercings, and his signature attitude.
“What a cutie,” you coo at the little boy, who can’t be any older than five. The older of the two boys doesn’t resemble Sukuna in the same way Yuji does, with sunken eyes and unkempt long brown hair, he looks to be about eleven… and he also looks like he’s about to burst into tears.
“Don’t feed his ego,” Sukuna huffs, watching you interact with Yuji with his hands shoved in his pockets.
“Look! Look!” Yuji excitedly holds his hands out to you. You recognize an old GameBoy in his hands, something you’re sure you have hidden away somewhere in your own apartment from your childhood.
“I had one of those when I was young,” you tell him, glancing up at Sukuna whose left brow slowly raises.
“Really? Do you like Pokemon?”
“Yuji, that’s enough. Leave her alone and give it back to your brother,” Sukuna instructs, his frustration laced within his words.
“No! Choso’s playing it wrong,” he argues.
Sukuna looks like he’s about to burst. If he were a balloon, he’d be floating dangerously close to a pin, and it’s in that moment that you finally get a good look at him. If you thought he looked sickly last week, he looks like he’s about to collapse now.
His eyes are sunken, skin pale, and although he’s making an effort to mask it, his focus seems as though it’s drifting while he simply stands there. His hair is disheveled in a way that doesn’t look intentional and there’s a stain on the abdomen of his shirt. Which, to your surprise, is also a uniform for a local food distribution warehouse. He’s wearing cargo pants, steel-toed boots, and a blue polo shirt. It’s a strange look for him, but you’re more concerned about the fact that he seems to be swaying, he’s so tired.
“I wasn’t playing it wrong!” Choso argues back, leaping at his brother as they get into a scuffle, and it’s barely a split second before Yuji is in tears alongside Choso.
“Fucking-” Sukuna cuts himself off, taking a step forward.
Instinctively, you step in before Sukuna needs to. “Hey, hey!” You coo softly, leaning back down to them. “Why don’t you both play together?” Yuji’s sobs don’t stop at your suggestion, although Choso backs away from the younger boy, listening to what you have to say with a heartbreakingly sad expression over something so simple. Life was so much easier at their age.
“How?” Yuji asks through sobs.
“Why don’t you take turns? It’s Pokemon, right?” You ask, earning a nod from Yuji as he sniffles and wipes his face, his sleeve absolutely covered in tears and snot already. “Why don’t you pass it over between each battle?”
Yuji stares at you skeptically, as though the little boy cannot possibly fathom sharing. Choso quietly waits for his brother to come to a conclusion as his sniffles subside, all the while Sukuna just watches the entire scene unfold with a furrowed brow.
“Okay,” Yuji finally agrees in a small voice. “But I go first!”
To your surprise, Choso seems fine with this as they both crowd around the game.
When you stand back up, you’re happy to find that Sukuna looks absolutely relieved.
“Fuck, thought I’d never hear the end of that,” he mumbles, making you wonder if that’s his begrudging way of thanking you.
You chuckle quietly, crossing your arms over your chest with a small shrug. “I’m good with kids,” you tell him. He eyes you for a moment, humming, but doesn’t say anything. After a brief silence, you glance back up at him to find the tall man’s tired gaze still boring into you.
“Ask,” he instructs.
Your brow raises. “Ask?”
“You wanna ask where I was today, right?”
That obvious, huh? “I did wait for an hour.”
A hint of a smirk graces his lips as he snidely comments, “y’know, I’m sure I’ve had other women wait longer.” You aren’t sure how he expects you to react, but the way you raise a brow and don’t entertain his lewd implications clearly doesn’t encourage him to continue. His tongue pokes the inside of his cheek as he clicks his tongue and turns his head away from you. “Had to pick up a shift at work. Was gonna text but the little brat broke my phone yesterday.”
“Sorry, Kuna,” Yuji’s voice is small as you realize he’s been listening the whole time now that Choso is holding the GameBoy. His cheeks are puffy and red still from crying, but god he sure is a mini Sukuna.
“Kunaaaa?” You coo teasingly at the absolutely adorable nickname.
“He can’t say my name,” Sukuna grumbles, suppressing his irritation as best as he can, given that you did save him from further arguments with his brothers and he did already test his limits with you anyway. Still, his nose wrinkles in distaste at the nickname as he stares at the ground with a huff.
“That’s so cute!” You practically squeal, eyes bright as you grin at the hulking mass of anger and maybe even embarrassment as his cheeks heat up before your eyes.
“Shut up,” he hisses, still avoiding your gaze.
“It’s alright, by the way. We can figure out another time to meet.”
“Yeah, whatever. I’ll text-” he cuts himself off, blinking at the realization that he has no phone. “I’ll email you or some shit.”
“Email. Right,” you sarcastically tease with a tilt of your head. A muscle in Sukuna’s jaw visibly twitches and he huffs.
“Take it or leave it.”
You raise your hands in the air defensively, unable to help your amused smile. As silence falls over the both of you, interrupted only by Choso’s quiet commentary to Yuji about their game, you let your expression morph to one of concern again. Your lips part to ask if Sukuna’s alright, but he beats you to it.
“I’m fine.” His voice is low and strained and you both know you don’t believe him.
“You look it,” you challenge him sarcastically.
Sukuna’s jaw tenses as he stares you down as if daring you to challenge him again. Luckily for him, you’re willing to let it go.
“Do you guys need a ride somewhere?” You ask, glancing back in the direction of your car. Shoko is probably itching to get to the bar, though surely she won’t mind your offer given that the man in front of you looks like he could melt into a puddle if it only meant he could sleep.
“No.”
“Yeah!”
Sukuna and Yuji stare at one another as they both respond at the same time.
“No. We’re fine,” Sukuna growls, narrowing his eyes at the young boy.
“I don’t wanna walk anymooooore,” Yuji complains, shooting Choso a pleading look. Catching on, Choso shoots Sukuna a pair of puppy dog eyes. God the two of them are just adorable.
“No, both of you. Cut it out. Now.” Sukuna’s voice drops an octave as he hisses the last word.
“I really don’t mind,” you say quietly, leaning closer to him in an attempt to keep your words between the two of you.
“I don’t need your help,” Sukuna protests, taking a step towards you with massive muscular arms folding over his chest as his polo shirt is pulled taut from the movement.
“So if I give you a little push, you won’t fall over and pass out?”
“No.” He scowls defensively as he stares back at his two brothers, not noticing the way you slowly reach your hand out before shoving him lightly. He sways backwards slightly, catching himself before he actually does fall over as he swats at your hand. “Fucking- What the fuck is wrong with you?” He grouses, voice dripping with irritation and anger, although it doesn’t reach his eyes. He just looks tired.
“Let me drive you where you need to go and I’ll stop,” you taunt, moving your hand forward to shove him again.
Now paying attention, he grabs your wrist before you can push him. “Christ, you’re almost as much of a brat as my brothers,” he huffs, fiery eyes hyper-focused on your cheerful demeanor in spite of the fact that he’s been nothing short of snappy with you since you first showed up. “You’ll stop because I said so, not because I’m agreeing, got that?”
You shrug, shooting him a smile that says you won. “Whatever you say, Sukuna.”
He drops your wrist with a dramatic sigh before ushering his brothers after you as you turn to make your way back to your car.
“Can’t say I know what just happened,” Shoko whispers in your ear as she walks alongside you to your car. “But I’m surprised he agreed.”
“I’m not. He’s barely awake,” you tell her as you both cast a glance back at him. He doesn’t seem to notice as he bickers with his brothers, telling them to keep up if they want a ride from you.
“Yeah, he looks like shit,” she chuckles with a shake of her head. Never one to beat around the bush, but she is right.
Unlocking your car, you open the back door as Sukuna lifts his youngest brother into the backseat, grumbling about the two boys needing to behave before he climbs in himself, completely blocking your view through your rearview mirror.
He huffs and puffs as he gives you his address, choosing not to say a word throughout the ride as he listens to you chat with Shoko, muttering only the occasional “cut it out” or “stop that, brat” to one of his brothers.
Rolling up to what you assume is his apartment, you put the car in park and turn your attention back to the boys, putting on your best radio voice.
“Thank you for riding, please exit to your left and have a greeeeeat day!” You earn a sweet laugh from Yuji and a calm smile from Choso for your antics. You can practically feel Sukuna’s exasperation as it comes off of him in waves, clearly done with the world for the day, but you don’t miss the silent relief gleaming in his eyes.
“What do you say?” Sukuna gruffs, nudging the youngest of his brothers who you’re obviously putting on the show for.
“Thank you, miss!” He grins brightly as Sukuna opens the door and lowers him to the ground. He hands Choso a pair of keys, nudging them along to the door of the run-down building. To your surprise, he shuts the door and comes around to your side, knocking on the window.
You tilt your head as you roll down the window.
“Thanks…” he trails off as though the word is sour on his tongue, shooting a glance at Shoko in a silent gesture of thank you to her as well.
“No problem. Go get some sleep,” you tell him softly. Frustration flashes through his eyes as you tell him what to do but he’s not about to lash out at the person responsible for his grade who also gave him a ride home. Even he’s not that much of an asshole.
He sets a hand on your hood, pausing for a moment before he runs a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up more than it already was. “Do me a favor and don’t mention this to anyone, yeah?”
You tilt your head, exchanging a glance with Shoko as he looks between the two of you. “Yeah. No problem.”
His hand slides off your car as he rounds the vehicle to follow after his brothers. He pauses to cast a glance at you, before pushing into the front lobby of his apartment building and out of sight.
Silence falls over both you and Shoko as you watch the tattooed man disappear into the building when Choso holds the door open for him.
“That was fucking weird,” Shoko comments.
“Hm?” You hum as you pull out of the apartment, unsure of what she means. Of course Sukuna would have a life Shoko had never thought about, it’s not like they were close, you aren’t sure what she was expecting.
“He wasn’t a complete dick.”
Shooting Shoko a confused glance, you purse your lips. “Is he known for that? I thought he was just a bit of a delinquent.”
“Yeah, that too, but he’s pretty well-known for being snappy with people and snarky to profs.”
“Oh,” you blink twice in thought, keeping your eyes on the road. “I don’t know. He’s pretty quiet in Art History, this project is the first time I’ve ever talked to him. I figured I’d give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“Huh,” Shoko shrugs, “guess you’re on his good side, then.” She sighs, leaning back in her seat once again. “Oh well, you have blackmail on him anyway, so there’s no way he’s bailing on you now,” she grins with a teasing smirk.
Your eyes widen and you move your elbow to nudge her. “Absolutely not, and don’t you think about it either!”
Shoko chuckles, though you know she wouldn’t anyway. Much like you, she’s too kind to spill Sukuna’s secrets to the school, regardless of her opinions or thoughts on him.
–
As you return home from the bar late that night with a comfortable buzz that had left you needing to keep your car at the bar overnight, you pour yourself a glass of water and open your laptop on your bed, letting it boot up while you change into an oversized cozy beige hoodie with little bows adorning the sleeves.
Pulling the sleeves of the hoodie down over your hands and throwing on a pair of shorts, you run a hand through your hair and log into your laptop, pulling it onto your lap to browse social media, when something catches your eye.
You don’t pay much attention to your email inbox most of the time. Maybe you should, after all the college sends you a fair amount of emails and you’ve missed some in the past, but what catches your eye is certainly not from the faculty.
It’s a response to the document you sent Sukuna via email last week.
Oh shit, he was serious about sending you an email.
Maybe it’s because you're drunk, or maybe it’s because the idea of the nearly seven foot tall tattooed man who you’d watched leave class once just to smoke sending you an email of all things is a truly funny thought, but you snicker to yourself as you open it.
[email protected] - Saturday, 1:17 AM hey. you around this weekend
Your snicker turns to a full laugh as you read the message. You can’t decide if the message feels like a sad attempt at a booty call, an old man attempting to text via email, or an embarrassing attempt to save his bruised ego since he can’t text you.
You’d learned from Shoko at the bar earlier that Sukuna has quite the reputation. Supposedly he’s known for bringing a woman home at every party, for being able to smooth talk his way into the bedroom in spite of his usually grumpy and ill-mannered demeanor, and for being able to always get what he wants even though he has a reputation for being an asshole. So it’s hard not to laugh when that same man is the one who just sent you the most awkward email. At one in the morning. On a Saturday.
Oh my god.
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:12 AM Hey Sukuna! I’m around tomorrow afternoon and all day Sunday. Did you have time to work on the project?
You hit send and shut your laptop, deciding to brush your teeth and begin getting ready to get some rest. Taking off your makeup and brushing your hair, you finish up your nighttime routine and decide on a whim to see if your project partner has responded to you.
Getting under the covers and leaning against the headboard of your bed, you open your laptop again. To your surprise, your inbox has gone up by one.
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:19 AM cool. come by mine tomorrow whenever
You snicker to yourself as you read the message again. He’s certainly not fighting either the sad booty call or old man texting via email allegations.
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:23 AM Had to leave my car at the bar, did you wanna come by my place?
To your surprise, it’s only a couple of minutes later when he replies.
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:25 AM uhhh i gotta watch over the brats
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:26 AM Bring them!! They’re so cute :)
You can practically feel his irritated grumbles through the screen when not even a minute later he responds.
[email protected] - Saturday, 2:26 AM fine. address and time
With a satisfied smile, you let him know to drop by at two in the afternoon and send him your address before shutting your laptop.
As you lay down in bed, you can’t help but wonder what a strange little world you’ve somehow managed to squeeze your way into. Sukuna’s world. Maybe it’s because he’s easy to tease, maybe it’s the undeniable fact that he’s a good looking guy, or maybe it’s the fact that he’s actually surprised you more than once now and you’re somewhat enjoying the project more than you initially thought you would, but you can’t help but find yourself fascinated by him.
Come to think of it, you wonder if maybe Shoko’s comment has something to do with it. You think back to the way that she mentioned that he was oddly agreeable and, well, not a dick, and you wonder if it’s a curiosity to get to know this side of Sukuna that no one seems to know that compels you to be laying in bed at two in the morning thinking about the situation.
Regardless, you fall asleep with a calm little smile.
–
Glancing at the clock, you have half a mind to wonder if Sukuna will actually show up. Sure, he was the one who reached out, but maybe you should have just bussed to your car rather than waiting on Shoko to drive you to it and gone to his place on your own given that you can’t text him to ask where he is and it’s almost two thirty in the afternoon.
You could email him.
No… no. You aren’t about to email him.
You almost laugh to yourself at the thought.
Returning to your coffee, you keep at your work, refining your notes until you have something you think you can confidently write a full thesis about, when finally there’s a buzz at your door.
Speak of the devil. You buzz him up and there's a knock at your apartment door a few moments later.
“Cut that out,” Sukuna hisses practically the moment you open the door. You raise a brow at him and he sighs. “The brat, not you,” he clarifies, nudging Yuji.
You shoot him a sweet smile, suppressing a chuckle. Sukuna is dressed in a leather jacket, a plain white V-Neck and a pair of ripped jeans. In comparison to his usual baggy cargo pants and hoodie, he almost seems like he’s dressed up a bit and you can’t help but smile at the thought. More importantly though, the dark circles beneath his eyes are just a bit faded in comparison to when you had spotted him yesterday and you can tell he was able to get a bit of rest.
Yuji is excitedly looking up at you and attempting to tug on Sukuna’s hand while Choso stands behind his brother silently, his expression neutral.
“Hey guys, c’mon in.” You grin as you open the door for them, watching Yuji bound in ahead of his older brothers. He begins looking around with wide eyes, so full of wonder and excitement that you can’t help but smile.
“Such sweet kids,” you comment as Sukuna stands beside you, sighing as both brothers practically run to the sofa, looking around your little apartment excitedly.
“Yeah, whatever.”
You giggle at Sukuna, nudging him playfully. The glare he shoots you as he grunts seems to lack the usual malice his expressions hold and he runs a hand through his well-groomed hair, motioning for you to lead the way.
You show him to your little desk at the back of the apartment, pulling up a kitchen chair for yourself as you give him your office chair. He silently obliges, sitting down with his legs spread.
“One moment,” you mumble, heading into your room briefly before reappearing with none other than your old GameBoy, complete with a copy of Pokemon Ruby. Sukuna’s gaze is tethered to you and although his expression doesn’t change, you see surprise flash across his crimson irises as you walk up to the boys, kneeling in front of them.
“Choso, do you want to use my old GameBoy?” You ask the brown-haired young man, holding it out to him. His eyes are wide with surprise as Yuji’s jaw drops open. Choso nods, not saying a word as he flips the device and eyes the game. If it’s even possible, his eyes widen further and he smiles shyly.
“Are you sure?”
“More than sure. I bet there’s some neat Pokemon on that file,” you tell him.
The two boys exchange a grin and Choso thanks you profusely as he turns on the system.
“No problem. There’s a TV in my room, why don’t you two hang out in there and you don’t need to listen to your brother and I talk about boring art, hm?”
Yuji nods excitedly, bounding to his feet and grabbing your hand. Your heart swells at the action as you lead him and Choso to your room and hand them the remote. It takes all of a moment for both of them to begin bickering about what to watch, though you notice their arguments are fairly one-sided, with Choso being much quieter than his younger brother.
Leaving the two of them to their own devices, you make your way back out to Sukuna, who’s set his laptop on your desk and draped his jacket over the back of his chair. He’s wearing a white band tee with a deep V-neck for a metal band you aren’t familiar with, though the sleeves are torn off. With arms crossed over his chest and tattooed muscular arms on display, it’s undeniable just how attractive he is.
The real surprise is when he turns his head to look at you and his sharp eyes are, strangely, filled with… well you aren’t quite sure. Uncertainty? Confusion?
You subtly tilt your head when you take a seat on the kitchen chair beside him. His chair spins to face you as he examines you.
“Is something wrong?”
Sukuna’s adam's apple bobs as he swallows, before shaking his head. “Nah. Let’s just get this shit over with,” he grumbles, opening his laptop and turning his research document towards you. He’s clearly taken a look at yours, because his notes are in a similar format and he has about as much written as you, not to mention he’s put some work into research on the third painting you two had chosen.
Your brows raise as you read through it. “Wow, this is really good.”
He scoffs. “Don’t sound so shocked.”
You chuckle in embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to come off that way, I just-” you pause, leaning back in your chair. Aside from the subtle sounds of Pokemon and the TV in the background, the only sound that breaks the silence as you pause is the squeaking of your chair. “I don’t know. When you were late and then you just didn’t show up, I…” you trail off, not wanting to accuse him of something that clearly isn’t true.
“You assumed the worst.”
Your mouth opens but any words you had in your defense die on your tongue, casting your glance to the side as you search for something, anything, to explain your thought process. No matter what way you try to word it, you’re definitely the bad guy here.
“It’s fine. Everyone does.”
Your brow furrows but before you can ask what he means, Choso is surprising you as he taps on your arm. You turn your attention to the young boy, who’s looking up at you with gleaming eyes.
“You have Rayquaza,” he states, arms outstretched to show you a serpentine creature on the GameBoy.
Your curiosity twists to easy mirth as you smile at him. “I guess I do, huh?”
Choso’s arms fall back down in front of him as he stares down at the Pokemon. His eyes flicker up to you briefly, then back down. “You have Groudon too.”
You can’t help your amused laugh. He’s such a sweet and shy little boy, but he talks just like Sukuna. Straight to the point, blunt, and rather short. He may not look like Sukuna like Yuji does, but his speech is just like his older brother’s.
“Leave her alone,” Sukuna mumbles gruffly from beside you. Choso smiles up at him before bounding back to your room. You can hear the two of them gearing up to play the games together from across the apartment, the game’s music heard in mismatched double as they both turn up the volume.
Turning back to Sukuna, your trail of thought is completely gone. “What was I saying?”
“You got any music? The brat’s game’s been drivin’ me crazy,” Sukuna mutters. “Yuji broke my laptop’s speakers,” he sighs.
“He’s on a hot streak for breaking things, huh?” You giggle.
“Don’t get me started.”
You turn in your seat, pointing towards the wall where a table sits with a fairly nice record player on it, and a shelf of records. They’re organized by artist and their sleeves range from new-looking to clearly well-loved.
Getting to his feet, Sukuna follows to where you point, curiously staring at the spines of the records. He’s not exactly shocked by most of the choices, but a few of them do stand out to him, and you’re thankful when you hear him sliding something off the shelf and putting it on the player.
You recognize the melody in the air instantly, and grin when Sukuna sits down beside you again. “The Eagles?”
Sukuna doesn’t move as his eyes slowly trail to you. He hums after a moment. “It’s a good album. You have… alright taste.”
In truth, he doesn’t mind your taste in music. Sure, he may not be fond of all of your choices, many in fact, but it would seem the two of you are making a habit out of surprising one another as he has his next album choice in mind already.
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” you chuckle at his dry attempt at being nice. The corner of Sukuna’s lips twitches up into a hint of a smile. It suits him.
As Hotel California blankets the air in warm strings and simple drum beats, the two of you are able to get a good amount of work done, putting your research together into one well-written and coherent thesis, one to be proud of.
Of course, you still need to put together an actual visual presentation to go with the thesis to be presented, but at least the bulk of the work is over with and you can feel confident in your project without concern anymore.
You have half a mind to get started on the visual portion now as well to get it all finished, but one glance at Sukuna tells you he’s tapped out, and either way you’ve gone through three records at this point as the final track on a Pink Floyd album comes to a close.
As silence falls over your project group, Sukuna lets out a sigh. It’s fairly dark in the room too as the sun sets, and when you check the clock to find it’s already six, you realize that’s likely why your stomach’s been making noises for the last twenty minutes.
“Why don’t you guys all stay for dinner?” You suggest, mostly out of politeness, but you can’t help but feel as though you’re drawn to him. You want to get to know him, know why he’s late so often, why he stays in school just to not show up for classes when it’s his money being blown. After all, it can’t just be his brothers or work, he likely only takes care of them while his parents are at work, surely.
Sukuna wearily glances between you and the door where his little brothers are, before shaking his head. “Nah, I can just make us somethin’ when we get back.”
“I insist,” you grin at him, watching the way a muscle twitches in jaw. “There are some great places nearby, we can just grab takeout while they play games, we’ll only be gone for a moment.”
He remains silent, arms crossed disdainfully over his chest before grimacing, giving in to your overly kind grin.
You settle on a curry restaurant just down the block and grab the boys’ orders, letting them know you’ll be right back. You’re sure you can trust Choso to look after his younger brother for twenty minutes.
As the chilly evening air hits your face, you let out a content hum, peering curiously back to see Sukuna falling into step with you. The two of you are a sight to behold, your appearance preppy and sweet decorated with autumnal colors fitting for the season, while he’s clad in leather and punk attire, the tones of his clothing purely grayscale.
He shoves his hands into his pockets, keeping his mild gaze locked in front of him.
“How old are they, your brothers?”
“Five and twelve,” Sukuna replies, fighting off a yawn and failing.
Amused, you smile up at him. “I’m glad you got some rest last night. I was worried about you.”
His brow twitches as he meets your kind smile. “Worried? About me?” He shoots you an incredulous look, scoffing. When you pout at him, he’s unable to hold back a smirk. It’s the first time you’ve seen him truly at ease and now that you’re alone with him, you notice that he actually seems to be somewhat relaxed.
“Yeah, maybe I was. Shoot me,” you shrug, playfully rolling your eyes.
He snorts, entertained, growing silent although the air that settles over you is comfortable now. Sukuna’s presence is surprisingly calming now that he isn’t constantly regarding you with disinterested gazes and irritated huffs. His expressions remain mild, but his brooding is more infrequent and the tension in his gruff voice has dulled. You would almost think he likes being around you.
As you come up to the curry restaurant, you lean into Sukuna with a point of your finger, silently telling him to enter the restaurant to your right. He pulls the door open for you, trailing closely behind. The atmosphere of the restaurant is busy, the employees behind the counter moving quickly to fulfill orders. Sukuna can only imagine how good the food must be given the line waiting to order, though you assure him it won’t take long.
He casts a glance up at the menu and frowns as he takes in the prices. He can afford to pay for himself, Yuji, and Choso, but not you. He has half a mind to say something, but his pride causes him to choke on the words. He inconspicuously pulls out his phone to take a look at his bank app to see if he can swing anything, but catches a glimpse of an employee not paying attention as he moves quickly towards you, all the while you’re not paying attention either, idly staring at the menu.
The employee about to barrel into you is holding a massive steel bucket and while Sukuna can’t see what’s inside, he doesn’t love the idea of you covered in water or worse.
With an annoyed click of his tongue, he lowers himself slightly, locking a strong arm around your middle and lifting you off the ground. You yelp in surprise, eyes wide as you latch onto his arm for purchase, head whipping around in confusion until you find the employee now walking past the exact spot you were in with boiling hot oil in a bucket.
Your lips purse, a shiver running from the base of your spine up to your nape just as Sukuna drops you to the ground unceremoniously in front of him. Your heels land with a clack on the ground as you catch your balance, your eyes still trailing after the employee that hadn’t been able to see you over the jug of hot oil they carried.
“Pay attention,” he scolds you with a frown.
“Oh my god,” you mutter mostly to yourself, your heart beating out of your chest as you finally look up at your savior. Your eyes flicker down to his arms. Even covered in leather, the way his muscles ripple beneath the fabric with each movement he makes doesn’t go unnoticed by you. “Thank you, S’kuna.”
He shoves his hands in his pocket, nodding. The way you abbreviate his name is painfully close to the nickname he avoids as much as he can, but he can’t bring himself to correct you and in all honesty, he’s not sure why. He lets it slide, clearing his throat as he clears his mind of the way the name seems to shake him.
“Don’t make a habit of it.”
His words feel like they should be scolding, but his tone doesn’t hold the same meaning. As he stares back up at the menu with a stitch in his horribly handsome brow, you can’t help but find yourself confused by the meaning of his words.
You don’t have much time to think about it as your turn to order comes and you find yourself at the counter, giving the employee your order before glancing back at Sukuna. His mouth parts and he hesitates.
“I- uh-”
You’ve never seen him dither in such a way and you tilt your head, blinking in confusion.
“I can’t-”
Frustration flashes through his eyes and you can see his jaw clench as he trips over his words. Flustered isn’t the right word, but his pride is certainly hurt as he finally manages to force out the explanation you need.
“I can’t afford to- uh-”
Again he pauses, his expression burning with irritation as his cheeks heat up, the admission coming at the cost of his ego.
Your face softens in understanding and your soft fingers wrap around his tattooed wrist, pulling him up to the counter.
“I’ve got it. I invited you to stay, it’s on me.” You hold your card out with a kind smile, but Sukuna doesn’t share your sentiment, anger flashing across the crimson of his eyes as he grits his teeth at you.
“I don’t need help,” he hisses, eyes narrowed as his walls go back up right before you.
“That’s not-” your eyes widen as you try to salvage the situation when Sukuna recoils suddenly. You hadn’t intended for him to take your words so personally, you’d just felt it was the right thing to do given that you had invited not only him, but both of his brothers over as well, and suggested the place to begin with. “You can get the next one,” you tell him in hopes of mending the bridge between you.
He examines your expression, finding no traces of malice or ill-will in your features. Frowning, he huffs as he turns to give his order to the poor employee who’d had the displeasure of witnessing Sukuna’s outburst. In his silence, you order for his little brothers as well.
With a dour sigh, the tattooed man moves along to the side to wait for the order, the fact that you paid leaving a sour taste in his mouth. You make your way over to him, leaving a small distance between you.
“I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean-”
“It’s fine.”
“Really, I- I-” you stumble over your words as he glares at you. You suppose Shoko had warned you that Sukuna was notoriously an ass, but you hadn’t witnessed it first hand until now. Still, you can’t help but feel like what you’re witnessing isn’t that. At the end of the day he isn’t lashing out for no reason, it’s clear you struck a nerve and you can’t blame him for being hurt by it, even if it’s not what you intended and you don’t fully understand where he’s coming from.
“Drop it,” Sukuna growls, though his anger has subsided somewhat, his gaze cast to the wall.
You blink up at him, hating the way the world seems to hold its breath around you.
You can’t deny that the man who towers over you, covered in tattoos and piercings is intimidating. Between his gruff voice, his mild mannerisms and his disinterested demeanor, he’s tough to read and you really can’t afford to let a rift come between you when you still have to work on your project.
Your lips part to say something but one striking glance from those crimson eyes has the words dying in your throat. Your mouth goes dry as you wrack your brain for anything to stay, but draw a blank.
Sukuna’s brow knits together at the sight of your anxious expression and he shuts his eyes for a moment, sighing.
It takes him a moment to fully cool off and collect his thoughts, but he can see in your eyes that you genuinely meant no harm and he supposes it’s the right thing to do to give you a break for that. You’re just naturally kind and he finds that he needs to remind himself of that.
“It’s… fine,” he murmurs in a strained voice, nudging you with his elbow. You crack a smile at him, thankful when his body language seems to relax somewhat again.
You don’t dare say anything as you wait for your food, fiddling with your phone in your hands as you contemplate his reaction. You obviously hurt his pride unintentionally by offering to pay, but between skipping school for work and the fact that this restaurant isn’t by any means expensive, you have a guess as to why he might have been so affected, one that makes Sukuna’s entire demeanor and his exhaustion click into place like a puzzle.
Before you have a chance to ask him, unsure if you even want to, your name is called and Sukuna is grabbing your order. You reach out to grab one of the bags but Sukuna swiftly holds it overhead with a smirk that doesn’t quite meet his eyes as you pout playfully. He continues to hold the food overhead as he leads the way outside. Watching you trail closely behind him, standing up on your tiptoes in an attempt to reach the bags, he raises a brow.
“Walk, brat.”
You shoot him a look, brow furrowed, before giving in and falling into step alongside him. He brings his arms down, holding the bags on his arms opposite you.
With your mind still preoccupied with thoughts of Sukuna’s earlier outburst, you bring your lower lip between your teeth, mindlessly chewing on it as you stare at the sidewalk beneath your feet.
Sukuna eyes you from his peripherals, taking note of the way you’re deep in thought. “Just fucking ask your question.”
Much like yesterday, Sukuna easily notices the way you glance at him uncertainly, the question on the tip of your tongue. It catches you off-guard how easily he reads you and you fall out of step with him, taking longer strides to catch up after you falter.
“I- um- do you-” you hesitate, casting a glance at his aloof expression. He seems at ease again and you don’t want to burn the bridge you’ve only just managed to mend, out of fear that another fire wouldn’t be put out so easily.
“Yeah.”
You stop in your tracks, blinking in surprise with pursed lips. Sukuna raises a brow at you, only a short distance ahead as he stops too, turning to face you. You can’t read his expression as it remains mild, his questioning brow the only sign that gives away any hint of his thoughts. In a few short strides, you’re back at his side.
“You’re… their guardian?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh.”
Sukuna chews on his tongue piercing mindlessly as he watches the gears turn in your mind, putting together the pieces of the puzzle that had been laid out for you.
Of course Sukuna’s tired if he’s taking care of two young boys, going to college, working, cooking, cleaning, god the list can only go on. You wonder if the reason he seems so at ease right now, so quick to forgive you, is because he’s thankful for the break. You wonder how long it’s been since he’s had time to himself.
“That’s why you missed yesterday.”
He shrugs. “You knew that already.”
“I guess, yeah.” Your turn to shrug. “I just thought it was a temporary thing.”
Sukuna lets out a humorless laugh. “Well it’s not.”
You’re not really sure how to react, in all honesty. You don’t want him to think you pity him, you can’t offer sympathy, you certainly can’t offer help. In your uncertainty, you find yourself continuing to fiddle with your phone, avoiding his gaze.
Sukuna quite simply… turns to leave, deciding to spare you of your discomfort, and him of any more blows to his pride. You jog after him, falling into step again. There are questions left unanswered and sympathies you want to extend, but you can’t bear the thought of hurting him again, even if it’s unintentional, so you bite your tongue.
The sounds of the city surround you, filling the silence. Sirens blare in the distance, trees rustle above you, and casual chatter comes and goes as you pass other groups of people on the way to your apartment. It’s all a welcome distraction as you continue to fiddle with your phone, the air between you two neither tense nor comfortable. It lies somewhere in between and you don’t dare tip the scales out of fear of making your counterpart uncomfortable.
“You play a lot of Pokemon growin’ up?”
Your eyes light up as Sukuna starts a conversation, finally tipping the scales back towards being comfortable.
“My best friend growing up really liked it, we played a lot of Ruby and Sapphire.”
“Same as the brats.” He scoffs playfully.
“Are you gonna pretend that isn’t your old GameBoy?”
He tilts his head in your direction, a hint of a smirk on his lips. “And if it is?”
“Dunno, I might think you’re a bit of a nerd,” you tease, mindlessly chewing on your lip.
Sukuna’s eyes flicker down to your lips. He catches himself immediately, averting his gaze. “Tch.”
You giggle when he doesn’t refute your claim. He shoves his hands back into his pockets, your takeout bags dangling from his forearm.
As you arrive back at your apartment, Sukuna lets you unlock the door before grabbing and holding it open for you. His eyes trace your figure as you tread ahead of him with a skip in your step. When you turn back to him, realizing he hasn’t followed you yet, he blinks in surprise as he realizes exactly what he’s doing, shaking his head to clear it.
Why in the hell was he checking you out anyway? He doesn’t make a habit of hooking up with people who know him beyond face value. He mutters a ‘sorry’, relieved when you don’t seem to notice the way he’d so shamelessly checked you out.
Closing the door behind him, he sets the food on the table, tossing his jacket aside as you call his brothers, setting up a little dinner around your coffee table. Sukuna groans as he slips down onto the floor to eat, remaining quiet as he simply watches the way you cheerfully entertain both of his brothers’ antics.
Shoveling rice into his mouth, Sukuna stares down at his curry, contemplating the strange sense of warmth blooming in his chest. The feeling is so unfamiliar to him that he can’t place it. He has half a mind to drown the emotion in nicotine and the need to smoke grows quickly.
He’s so preoccupied in his thoughts, Sukuna doesn’t realize his little brothers have both run off back to your room, leaving the two of you alone.
“S’kuna?”
Striking pupils suddenly meet yours. He straightens from where he sits across from you on the couch, taking notice of the fact that you’ve already finished your dinner.
“Are you alright?”
Sukuna nods. “‘M fine.” Yet he can’t help but to drink in the sight of you, the way you look at him with so much care and he can’t understand why, the way your lips move so softly when you speak. The way your figure and curves would feel under his hands, the way you keep biting your lip… Sukuna shakes his head suddenly, getting to his feet as he chalks it up to lust. He’ll get over it at the next party he goes to. “Balcony?” He asks suddenly, pointing at the door at the back of your apartment.
You nod, watching in confusion as he rises suddenly and rushes out the door, pulling out a box of cigarettes. You hum to yourself, deciding to give him a moment. You’re not sure exactly what came over him, he seemed flustered even if only for a moment, but there was something else you noticed in his eyes, something darker you couldn’t identify.
Pushing that aside, you put the lid back over his food to keep it warm and check your phone to find Shoko’s been trying to reach you to go pick up your car. You let her know you’ll have to pick it up tomorrow since you’re with Sukuna as you wait for him to finish smoking.
After a few messages back and forth, you glance back outside at Sukuna. The way the muscles along his back ripple just from the act of breathing is eye-catching enough, but when he stubs out his cigarette and leans over the railing of your little balcony, your eyes trail to his shoulder blades protruding from the white material of his shirt.
Catching yourself holding your breath, you take a step forward and decide to check on him, closing the balcony door in your stead as you slip onto the small overlook behind him.
He doesn’t acknowledge you even as you lean beside him, his tired expression fixated on the street below. You rest a hand on his bicep as you tilt your head quizzically. “Are you sure everything’s alright?”
Ever aloof, you aren’t able to tell what he’s thinking as he turns to look at you. You, completely unaware that your touch has set his skin alight. Unbeknownst to him, his eyes have darkened a shade as his pupils dilate at your touch. Unsure what’s come over him, he simply hums affirmatively as an answer to your question.
Your brow knits together but you accept his response. He wonders if you know that you’re rubbing circles into the skin of his bicep and it’s driving him crazy. What the hell is it about you that’s got him horny like it’s his first year of college again? It frustrates him beyond belief, but maybe it’s just been too long since he’s slept with someone. That has to be it. It’s just lust. He swallows hard, his adam’s apple bobbing with the action when you finally bring your attention out to the road in front of you both, removing your hand from him.
“Hey, um, what do you do at the supermarket?” You ask in an effort to create conversation with him.
“Stock,” he replies shortly, his tone as stoic as his expression.
“That’s not too bad,” you murmur thoughtfully, giggling to yourself suddenly. Sukuna’s brow raises. “Sorry, I just can’t imagine you as, like, a cashier or something.”
“Why not?” He sneers, standing up straight and facing you, offended.
“Come on,” you giggle, “you’re not very talkative.”
“I can be,” he insists, taking a step towards you.
“Is that your way of proving it?” You provoke him with a grin.
He scoffs. “I just don’t have anythin’ to say,” he grumbles with a tense jaw, staring down at you. “‘Sides, I work with customers at my other job.”
Another job? You frown at his admission. How the hell is he managing this? How hasn’t he flunked out? “What other job?”
“Mechanic,” he states blandly.
“Really? Are you a big car guy?” You ask, genuinely curious.
Sukuna’s somewhat taken aback by the way you lean in, your full attention directed towards him. You seem to take such a genuine interest in him and he isn’t quite sure what to make of it.
A smirk pays at the corners of his lips as he decides to mess with you, loving the idea of keeping you on your toes and pushing your buttons. “Nah. ‘M just good with my hands,” he drawls as you present him the perfect opportunity to tease you back given how much of a hard time you’ve been giving him.
Your eyes widen at his euphemism, cheeks heating up as you grip the balcony railing harder. You avert your gaze in an attempt to save face, willing your heart to slow down to no avail.
You clear your throat. “I-I um, th-that makes sense,” you stammer, mentally facepalming at just how nervous your words come out. He has no right to be this hot.
“Not so talkative now, are ya?” He chuckles lowly, sliding from his position leaning on the railing beside you to rest his opposite hand on your other side, effectively trapping you.
You flip over to face him, leaning back against the railing with pursed lips. Sukuna grins at your mousey behavior, thrilling in the way you squirm trapped between him and the railing. “Sukuna?”
His heart pounds in his chest at the sound of his name coming from your lips and his smirk falters. Why the hell is his heart beating so fast? He forces his smirk again, moving his face down to your level in an effort to push away the strange feeling blooming in the pit of his stomach. “Yeah, woman?”
Focusing on anything other than the man in front of you, you can only manage to mumble out a few ‘um’s and ‘uh’s. Sukuna chuckles at just how flustered you are, freeing you from the cage of his arms as he rests against the railing beside you again.
You clear your throat, trying to ignore your spiraling thoughts. And boy are they ever spiraling as you stare out at the street beneath you, attempting to focus on the passing cars and not your pounding heart. “Why are you in Art History?”
Sukuna’s lit another cigarette in the time that you’ve used to recover your thoughts. He looks calmer once again as smoke spirals from the glowing embers. “Required class.”
“R-Right.” You swallow, moving past your stammer. “What do you want to do?”
He pauses for a moment, taking a languid drag from the cigarette. A puff of smoke leaves his lips before he replies. “Dunno. I’m a history major.”
You wouldn’t have imagined the college’s resident bad boy to be a history major, if you’re being honest with yourself, but you remind yourself not to judge a book by its cover.
He runs a hand through his hair as you contemplate the idea of Sukuna as a history major and what he might do with that major given that you can’t envision him as a historian or a museum curator, and certainly not as a teacher.
“I’m thinking of swapping majors,” he admits. You examine his expression as he taps the edge of the cigarette with a finger. He shrugs, shifting his gaze to stare at the sidewalk beneath the both of you. “Starting to think history doesn’t make sense.”
“Well, what do you want to do, Sukuna?”
He casts you a glance, examining your attentive face. You’re so wholly invested in his words that it causes a pang in his chest. He subconsciously brings a hand up to his chest, scratching at it as if to cast the strange feeling away.
Setting the feeling aside, he finds himself scowling in thought. When he was considerably younger he’d wanted to pursue graphic design but he hadn’t had the luxury of thinking about his future for a while now. In truth, he’s not even sure why he’s in history right now. It interests him enough to keep him attentive but the career options are… few and far between and he can’t exactly afford to fuck around and swap majors constantly.
His minor in business makes more sense, at least he can do something with it, but… in truth, he doesn’t know what he’s doing. It’s another page filed under ‘uncertainties’ in the book that is Sukuna.
You take his silence as an answer and shoot him a wry smile. “You don’t have to answer, I’m sorry to pry.”
“It’s fine,” he sighs. “I just dunno that either.”
Admitting to it feels shameful, almost, and frankly, Sukuna thinks he’s had enough of making a fool of himself in front of you today. Stubbing out his cigarette, he stands up and makes his way back inside. You follow after him, blinking as he begins packing up.
“I should go,” he mumbles, shutting his laptop and tossing it into his bag. He picks up his keys from your desk, shoving them in his pocket as he zips up his backpack. “Oh,” he stops his movements, hesitating for a moment. “I… Appreciate dinner.”
Your expression softens and you smile wholeheartedly. “No problem. You can take your leftovers, too. They’re still on the table,” you point over to the box you’d set the cover over. He nods, shutting it and tucking it in his bag as well.
With a tired sigh, he gathers his brothers, ushering them towards the doorway.
“Got anything to say?” Sukuna utters, staring down at both kids expectantly.
“Thank you!”
“Thank you, miss!”
You grin at both kids, kneeling down. “I hope you two had fun. You know, maybe you can convince your brother to come over again and I’ll pull out my old GameCube.”
With the expressions of jaw-dropping awe you’re getting right now, you would think you’d revealed to them the secret to happiness or something. Yuji leaps into your arms immediately, nearly toppling you over as he shoots a pleading stare at Sukuna.
Sukuna’s expression shifts to one of irritation as Yuji pleads with him, “Kuna! Pleeeease pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease,” that has you giggling at the way a vein in his forehead seems to pulse.
“Brat. Brat! Shut up, I’ll think about it, alright?”
Yuji nods cheerfully, counting straight to Sukuna’s leg to hug him, and the clear irritation on your classmate’s face immediately falters. Maybe he’s a bit of a softie after all.
Sukuna sighs heavily, reaching a long arm down to ruffle his brother’s hair. “Yeah, alright, kid. If she invites us.”
His voice is tired, albeit strangely soft. It’s almost like he’s a different person, and suddenly you can see why it is that he’s pulling such a terrible schedule. Despite the clear stress being a twenty two year old parent to two young kids is, he clearly loves them.
But this is Sukuna we’re talking about, so he doesn’t always know how to express that.
It’s sweet, really, and your heart melts at the sight.
“Go wait outside, you two.” Both kids run down the hall to the elevator as they excitedly ponder what games you might have, leaving you and Sukuna alone as he leans on the doorframe.
“You free next Saturday?” You ask once his attention returns to you.
“I can let you know. Depends on the auto shop’s schedule.”
“We can always do another day, whatever works best for you, Kuna.” Your voice holds a teasing lilt as you mimic Yuji’s entirely too adorable name for him.
“Don’t start with that,” he snarls, mumbling something about the name being annoying. Before turning to walk away, he decides to pay you back for all of your teasing with a jab of his own. “Don’t make a habit of getting oil dumped on you, yeah?”
What Sukuna isn’t expecting is for you to be able to match his teasing without a second thought. “What, I can’t email you for help?”
He snorts, smirking at the ground as he pushes himself off of the doorframe and begins to turn away. “See you around,” he says, raising a hand in farewell as he follows after his two brothers. Your eyes trail curiously after him until he’s out of sight, shutting and locking the door quietly.
In truth, you don’t expect to hear from him until maybe next Friday if you’re lucky, but to your surprise when you check your email later that night, your inbox has a new email from Sukuna. It’s still funny, to think that you’re communicating via email, but at least you aren’t giggling to yourself as you open this one.
[email protected] - Sunday, 12:04 AM brat stole your gameboy. meet at the fountain at noon monday
[email protected] - Sunday, 12:23 AM That’s alright!! He can keep it :)
[email protected] - Sunday, 12:27 AM no he needs to learn. noon at the fountain
With a sigh, you realize he isn’t about to relent and give in.
[email protected] - Sunday, 12:28 AM Okay I’ll see you then Kuna lol
And oh if you could see the way Sukuna is guffawing and huffing at his screen, slamming his laptop shut as you call him the nickname he doesn’t want anyone to know. Yet here you are, barging into his life on all fronts and learning more about him than he wants.
The way his heart stutters, it actually stutters when he sees his inbox go up by a notification because he just knows it’s you and fuck why is it actually cute when you use that nickname?
Sukuna rubs a hand over his face and pulls his comforter up over his shoulder, sinking into the plush of his mattress as he tries to get some rest before his shift the next morning. He’ll deal with his other issues later.
main masterlist || series masterlist || next chapter - coming soon
❦ a/n ; hello!! thank you so much for reading i've been having an absolute blast with this. i've been working on this for a long time and it was initially intended to be about 25k, but after working on it for a month straight it hit that pretty quickly and i'm nowhere near done. aaaanyways, thanks for all the love and support and as always, likes, reblogs, and comments are super appreciated <3
❦ taglist ; OPEN. please comment here or on the masterlist if you would like to be tagged. age MUST be easily visible on your blog.
@yenayaps @rinachains @aiicpansion @fushitoru @gojoscumslut
@hellish4ever @creamflix @theonlyhonoredone @catobsessedlady @timetoletmyimaginationfly
@clp-84 @coffee-and-geto @candyluvsboba @favvkiki
writing & format © starmapz. art © 3-aem. dividers © adornedwithlight & cafekitsune.
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To Be Loved Is To Be Seen. | Gojo Satoru x f!Reader.
warnings: self-doubt, mutual pinning, mental health struggles, emotional hurt/comfort.
A/N: hehe i know i said that i don't write but this is a little thing i wrote yesterday, (first time posting something that’s not a smau, so bear with me!) this is for my avoidant attachment cuties who have so much love to offer but that are also always scared of ruining things with the person they love and think they’re not enough. i feel you—i struggle with this too. but remember, you’re always enough and deserve love so don't push it away. i wrote this while crying (lol) because i found myself in a similar situation with my actual boyfriend when we first started "dating". hope you enjoy reading, let me know what you think!
also likes and reblogs are appreciated! :)
word count: 2320.
“No,” you say, stepping back and resting your hands on the kitchen counter. “Stop that. You don’t mean what you’re saying right now.”
“You’re wrong,” Gojo says, stepping closer to you. “I mean every word.” He raises a hand, reaching out to touch you. “Please, look at me.”
“I can’t,” you whisper, avoiding his touch. “You should go.”
“I love you.”
“You don’t.”
He falters, and for a moment, the silence between you and him feels like a heavy weight. His gaze never leaves yours, though you can’t bring yourself to meet it.
“I do,” he insists, his voice low but unwavering. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”
“I’m a mess,” you choke out, your voice trembling as you turn away, desperate to hide the tears that threaten to fall. “I don’t deserve your love. I’m broken.”
“You deserve better.” Your voice cracks. “Someone who isn’t afraid of loving you.”
The silence stretches as Gojo watches you, the pain in his eyes mirroring yours. His chest rises and falls with uneven breaths, as if he’s struggling to hold himself together. He takes in the way your shoulders hunch, the way your hands grip the counter behind you like it’s the only thing keeping you grounded. The tension is palpable, each second stretching out, heavy with unspoken fears.
“Stop,” he interrupts, his voice hoarse, filled with raw emotion that makes your heart stutter. “You’re all I deserve—and more than I ever thought I could have. Don’t you see? It’s always been you.”
He steps forward, ignoring the space you tried to put between you and him, until there’s only a breath between you. “None of that matters to me. I see you, all of you. And I love you. Every part of you, even the parts you think are too much to bear.”
“You don’t understand.” Your voice cracks, a sob catching in your throat. “I can’t… I can’t let you in. You’ll get hurt, and I can’t let that happen.”
“Then let me decide,” he says softly, his voice full of tenderness. “Let me be the one to choose.”
You shake your head, wiping your eyes, not wanting him to see how vulnerable you feel. “You don’t know what you’re asking. I don’t know how to love anyone… I don’t even know how to love myself.”
He steps even closer, his voice a soft but firm whisper. “I’m not asking for perfection. I’m asking for you. All of you, as you are. Because you are enough for me.”
You back away, the ache in your chest intensifying, but he doesn’t move. His eyes are full of something you can’t name, something that pulls at the deepest parts of you, something that terrifies you. “I can’t… I can’t let you do this.”
“Why?” Gojo’s question is quiet, almost a plea. “Why can’t you believe me? Why can’t you see that I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere?”
The words catch in your throat. The wall you’ve spent so long building starts to crack, but you can’t let it fall. Not now. Not like this.
“Because I’m afraid,” you finally whisper, your voice barely audible. “Afraid that if I let you in, you’ll leave when you realize how much of a disaster I really am.”
He takes another step forward, his eyes searching yours for some kind of answer, some sign that you’ll let him in. “I’m not going anywhere,” Gojo says, his voice steady. “I’m staying.”
Your breath hitches, and for the first time, you let yourself meet his gaze, really meet it. His eyes are open, raw, like he’s offering you every part of himself. The tenderness in his expression is almost too much to bear.
“You don’t know what you’re asking for,” you say, shaking your head, but your voice is quieter now, softer.
“I know.” He murmurs, his hand hovering just inches from you, like he’s waiting for you to make the choice. “But I’m not afraid of you. I’m not afraid of your pain. I’ll take all of it if it means I get to love you.”
A tear slips down your cheek, and you try to wipe it away quickly, but he reaches out and gently catches your wrist. “Let me love you. Let me stay.”
The words hang in the air between you—heavy and final. For a moment, the room feels like it’s shrinking, the tension pulling at your chest, at your heart. You want to believe him, want to let yourself fall into the safety he’s offering. But the fear, the doubt—it feels like a weight too great to lift.
“I’m not… I’m not ready,” you whisper, your voice trembling with the truth. “I’m not ready to let anyone in. Not like this.” You look at him, your voice barely a whisper. “Please, Gojo, you should go.”
He lowers his hand but doesn’t pull away. He steps closer, closing the distance until you’re standing so close you can feel the warmth of his presence, the steady rhythm of his breath. “You don’t have to be ready,” he says softly, his voice low and insistent. “Not right now. Don’t send me away. Just let me stay.”
You don’t know how to respond, don’t know what to do with the storm of emotions crashing inside you. But in that moment, you feel something shift. Maybe you can’t let him in completely—not yet. But maybe, just maybe, you don’t have to push him away completely either.
“I’m too much for you,” you whisper, almost as if saying it out loud makes it more real. “I can’t fix myself. No one can… not even you.”
Gojo takes another step forward, gently cupping your face in his hands. His touch is warm, grounding. “You don’t need to fix yourself. You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to be anything but you. And I’m not going anywhere, no matter how many times you tell me to.”
A shudder runs through your body as the tears you’ve been holding back finally spill over. You close your eyes, trying to hide the vulnerability from him, but he doesn’t let you. He pulls you closer, wrapping his arms around you, holding you with a tenderness that feels like home.
“I’m scared,” you admit, your voice muffled against his chest. “I’m so scared that if I let you in, I’ll destroy everything.”
“You’re not going to destroy anything,” he murmurs, holding you tighter. “You’re not going to destroy me, and even if you do, I wouldn’t mind being hurt by you if that means I could actually be with you, to love you. I’m choosing to stay, even if it’s messy. Even if it’s hard.”
Gojo pulls back just slightly, his thumb gently wiping the tears from your face. His gaze softens, full of affection. “I wish you could have my eyes for just a moment, to see how perfect and incredible you are. You’re an amazing woman. Don’t you see that?” he says quietly, his voice filled with warmth.
"I’m not perfect,” you say, your voice cracking again as more tears fall.
He lifts your chin with his finger, making you meet his gaze. “I don’t want you to be perfect. I never did. I just want you—exactly as you are. All the imperfections and scars, they’re part of what makes you who you are. And that’s more than enough for me.”
You inhale shakily, the weight of his words settling into your chest. “But what if I can’t love you the way you deserve?”
Gojo’s hand cups your cheek now, his touch gentle and sure. “You don’t have to love me perfectly. You just have to try. We’ll figure it out together, one step at a time. But you don’t have to be afraid to love me, or to let me love you.”
You let out a broken laugh, wiping your eyes. “I don’t know how to stop being afraid.”
“Then let me help you,” Gojo says, his voice soft, yet strong. “I’ll be right here, through the fear, the pain, and everything in between. Like i said, I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying. Always."
His words wrap around you like a blanket, offering warmth you didn’t think you could feel again. Maybe you’re not ready to let go of all your walls, but maybe, just maybe, you don’t need to be. Because with him here, you’re starting to think that it’s okay to take that first step toward trusting someone with your heart.
And as you stand in his arms, the fear doesn’t go away—but it starts to feel like something you can face, as long as he’s by your side.
And for the first time, you let yourself believe him. Hope stirs in your chest, fragile but present. Maybe, just maybe, you don’t have to do this alone.
© gojodickbig on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not cross-post, translate, copy in any way, etc.
#gojosatoru#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#jjk gojo satoru#gojo#satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x female reader#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru ff#satoru gojo#satorugojo#gojo satoru x f!reader
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They found out you have a date
<3 incl: gojo, toji, geto.
my asks are open for more ideas and requests. also likes and reblogs are really appreciate. :)
have fun reading!💘
cont: fluff, suggestiveness (toji's)
MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI!!
satoru
toji
suguru
© gojodickbig on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not cross-post, translate, copy in any way, etc.
#gojo satoru#gojo satoru smau#jujutsu kaisen gojo satoru#jjk gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru smaus#toji fushiguro#toji zenin#jujutsu kaisen toji#jjk toji#toji smaus#toji fushiguro smaus#toji x reader#toji fushiguro x reader#geto suguru#geto suguru smaus#geto suguru smau#jujutsu kaisen geto suguru#jjk geto#geto x reader#suguru geto x reader#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smaus#jjk smau#freya's smaus#gojo#toji#geto
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ive had this smau in my drafts for like three days. i thought i posted it but turns out i didn’t lmao stupid me
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can we please take a moment to appreciate how cute my phone layout looks?😔✊🏻
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=͟͟͞♡ Healing Hearts =͟͟͞♡
=͟͟͞♡ Pairings:-Doctor Gojo x Intern F!Reader
=͟͟͞♡ Contents/warnings- Medical procedures, surgery descriptions, crazy sexual tension, eventually explicit sex etc. ER setting. Reader 26, Dr. Gojo 34, small age gap, work sex, complications, lots of humor, eventual drama and angst
=͟͟͞♡ Summary- You are the top Surgical Doctor intern, along with Maki, Yuta and Toge. You all are exhausted from passing the first month, sixteen plus hour days, days you don't even go home, all to get a top spot with the star Surgeon, Dr. Gojo, your resident doctor and boss. Or as you call him, Dr. Hojo. He's takes nothing serious but his surgeries it seems, and has a reputation for being a player, but he has that top spot, so you want to prove your worth! You just have to ignore those stupid butterflies he gives you, and those pretty blue eyes, along with his interest in you, and focus!
Toying with the idea of making this a full story soon! Comment to get added to the tag list when I do :) A rough draft of the beginning. Enjoy!
Part One
Fuck, you’re exhausted, the first month of your internship as a surgeon was brutal, you haven’t had but a couple hours of sleep here and there, mostly on some of the hospital beds. Your bones ache, your skincare routine is barely hanging by a thread, and your hair is a wreck in a messy bun today. You thought med school was difficult, but it was nothing like this.
“Hey, you okay babe?” Your best friend Maki Zenin asks softly, you look at her and smile, nodding, she purses her lips, tilting her glasses. “No you’re not.”
“I’m wiped, Maki. This patient injected cocaine up his ass.” She bursts out laughing right in the middle of the hospital floor, you cover her mouth quickly, looking around. “Shh!”
“Shit, forreal? I thought my case was bad, he’s been here eight times for hits of pain meds since I have been here, he keeps bashing his hand on shit.” She sighs, handing her files to the desk then picking up several more.
You’re both in your pale blue scrubs, Maki’s pretty green hair is high up in a ponytail, now your other two best friends from your internship come up, Inumaki Toge and Yuta Okkotsu, both looking exhausted along with you. Yuta’s eye bags rival yours by far, he slicks back his dark hair as you all check the time on your watches.
“Another sixteen hours almost down.” He says through a yawn.
“Tired.” Inumaki says, and you sigh, nodding in agreement.
“Fuck that, we need to throw a party.” Maki says, somehow still so energetic, and you’re so confused how it’s possible.
“Party?” Inumaki asks, he’s certainly a man of few words, but his violet eyes explain whatever anyone needs to know.
“No way, Maki. Fuck that.” Yuta says, earning Maki sticking her tongue out at him.
“Buzz kill, ugh. Listen, this weekend, we’ll invite some of the people from our class, we can invite some of the other interns too. Ooh, maybe even those sexy resident doctors.” She wiggles her brows with a mischievous little grin.
“Maki, we're too old for that shit now.” You grumble.
“Bitch we’re twenty six? How are we old.”
“I feel ancient.” Yuta agrees. “Coffee everyone?”
“I have to stop by Doctor Gojo’s real quick, meet you all there?” You say, and they nod, waving you off as you head to your Resident doctor’s office. Dr. Gojo was the boss of you four, one of the residents along with Dr. Nanami and Dr. Geto. All three were fawned over by all the interns, except you.
Yes they were gorgeous, and yes Dr. Gojo was positively beautiful, with his snowy white hair, his glittery blue eyes, his big grin. But you were just too exhausted and too beat to really fawn over someone, especially someone you really could not be with, seeing as he is your resident, you’re just a little intern. Satoru also happens to be the top surgeon in the hospital.
You go to knock but see his door is cracked open, you carefully take the knob in your hand, twisting it and peeking your head in, seeing Satoru Gojo’s head fall back, as he’s gasping. You look curiously, but his hands are up on the desk, as he’s biting his lower lip, his brows together, eyes shut. You clear your throat and he jerks then, clearing his throat.
“Um… hey intern.” He says, his voice clipped. You shut the door behind you, tilting your head curiously at him, his face reddening slightly.
“Dr. Gojo, I have a question about this patient, is everything okay? It won’t take very long.” You say, and his eyes flicker over your face, an expression you can’t explain, as he sucks in a breath.
“I um… can listen… in… fuck, fuck!” He moans then, he clearly moans, and you hear a bump on his desk now. “Oh, oh that’s so much better.”
“I… what the fuck!?” He flushes then, sliding back, and one of the nurses jumps up, giggling now and wiping her mouth, she has pretty blue hair.
“Thank you Miwa, you’re a gem.” He stands, patting her head with a smile, and she giggles again, as you watch in confusion, your brows together, mouth open. “I need to talk to her about cool doctor things, I’ll see you around later?”
Cool Doctor things.
Blow jobs on the clock?
How is this your boss?
“Yes, Dr. Gojo. Hi there!” She waves at you, as if nothing has happened, as if she wasn’t just sucking Dr. Gojo off, and he’s looking bashful!?
“What the hell is this shit? Lock a door?” He comes to you, locking the big door with a click behind you. “Not now!”
“I forgot it was open, shit. I’m sorry. Stress relief, you know.” He smiles down at you, a stupid smirk you’d like to smack off his pretty face, hands in the pockets of his long white doctor jacket. “Don’t you ever need any?”
You heat up at his husky tone, as you realize just what you’d walked into. It had been a long time since you’d even thought that way, not just with Med school but now being an intern, especially since you broke up with your ex months back. “What? Yuck don’t come near me.”
“Why, ya jealous.” He brushes your hair back, earning your glare. “You’re awfully cute when you are.”
“Jealous of you? No thanks, I'm good. I sure am not part of your fan club.”
Satoru pouts. “Yeah, and you’re the only one.”
“Yep. Anyway, I’m now disturbed.” You shiver with feigned disgust, making him snort a bit in laughter. “But I only came in here to go over Mr. Lewis.” Sighing, you hand him the file with a gentle brush of your fingers against his palm. “He's been a difficult case.”
“Fuck, the cocaine dude? Ah shit, it’s that bad?”
“We have him stable, but something about it threw me off, how could it be that severe of an effect? Colitis has lasted days now and no improvement.”
“Mmm, true. But it makes sense, you can’t just inject cocaine into the anus and… have a party.” A hint of laughter escapes from his lips before he can control it, earning a stern look from you, making him study the file more carefully.
“Be serious.”
“I’m your boss, you know!”
“Yeah, somehow. Anyway, I feel there is something underlying. Perhaps exasperated by the cocaine.”
“Up the ass! Hah!” He’s smacking his long leg now, chuckling, earning your glare. “Oof you’re so serious, sorry, carry on.” He gives you a mock salute, and your eyes are so far back in your head they might stay that way.
“So I’m wondering if he has something else, untreated, the man has no history of any doctor visits since he was living with his parents.”
He taps his chin then. “Hmm, good point. It’s possible. Have we checked him for Chron’s?”
“Shit, maybe, that would make so much sense too, his white blood cell count is through the roof. I’ll leave a note to run some tests before I go.” You take the folder back then, your fingers brushing, and it brings a blush to your cheeks.
“What’s wrong, intern?”
“Just weirded out by you, Dr. Hojo.” He snorts then.
“Dr. Hojo!?”
“It’s what they call you, I guess it’s true.” You say, raising a brow, and he is leaning close, too close. You can smell that stupidly expensive cologne he wears every day, filling your senses far too much. You try to avoid those eyes, even though you look at them all the time, they still are…
Too much.
“And you don’t ever wanna just get eaten out?” You blush more now, looking down as he stands up tall, so fucking tall over you. “Don’t be shy now, we spend more time together than alone.”
“I don’t do that when not in relationships.” He pauses, and you expect some joke, since he takes nothing serious but surgery it seems. But he tilts your chin up, and studies you with those eyes, lids lowering ever so slightly.
“Aw, so you’re a good girl.” He says teasingly, causing a warm sensation to spread through your stomach at his words. You shake your head and try to ignore the fluttering feeling within you.
“Don’t say that!”
“Turn you on?”
“No! Jesus. I don’t care what people do with their bodies, I don’t care if you’re a whole manwhore-”
“Excuse me!”
“But I just need a relationship, I’m not attracted to just looks, there has to be a deeper connection.” He studies you carefully now, so serious unlike his usual goofy demeanor.
“Hmm, a challenge.”
“What now?” You glare up at him, clutching the folders to your chest tightly. “Not a challenge, you psycho. Go get all the blowjobs you want, like Thanos collecting all those infinity stones.”
He grins, sharp little fangs glinting, and you don’t like the effects it’s having on your body, or your mind. You can barely take a breath. “You’re actually so funny, holy shit.”
“You don’t really know me. Aside from work.”
“You never take me up on any of those offers of coffee, or grabbing a bite, all you do is work Missy. All work, no play, makes a sad girl.” He taps your nose, and it scrunches up, making him smile a bit. “Cute.”
“Whatever, I have to work my ass off, it’s important, I have to make sure I get to scrub in with you. That chance comes at the end of this month.”
“Well you’re the top intern I have, so don’t worry so much.” He pats your shoulder, and you blink a bit. “Surprised? How. You graduated top of the school, you bust your cute little butt, and you’re intelligent, caring for your patients. Of course I was picking you first.”
“Oh my god…”
“You’ve ruined your own surprise. Act surprised when you find out, mmkay?” You hug him then, heart racing as you think of it. “Oh so now you like me.”
“I can really scrub in to a surgery with you!?” You couldn't contain your excitement as you leaned back and looked up at Satoru Gojo. He nodded, his hands taking hold of your waist through your scrubs, and that touch?
Does things, fuck.
“I’m so sorry-”
“You’re fine, intern. Stay a little longer.” You nervously step back, his hands are still on your waist, making you tremble, as your eyes both lock.
“I can never fuck such an opportunity up. Um… thank you though, that gives me so much hope, maybe I can actually relax for two minutes!” He smiles softly, nodding, his hands falling to his sides. “I’m sorry I…”
“Interrupted? Nah. Think you made me cum quick.”
“What!?” You glare again, and his smirk makes you itch to smack him all over again. “Dr. Gojo!”
“You’re so pretty though, I think it made her job quicker. Win win.”
“I’m out of here. Ugh.” You turn away, hand on the knob, and then his comes on top of it and gently unlocks it with a twist, you feel his hard body against your back, and you get overwhelmed in his office, damn near unable to breathe, as he’s clearly…
Is Dr. Gojo inhaling your hair!?
“New shampoo?” He asks, you turn to glare up at him, putting your faces far, far too close.
“How would you know my…”
“You always wear that one that smells like strawberries, this one is more floral. Hmm I don’t know if I like it as much, but it’s still yummy.”
“I… you…”
“See you later, intern.” He says softly, then finally steps away, leaving you reeling as you hastily step out without a word, leaning your back against his door, shutting your eyes for a moment in the quiet hall his office is in. You shake yourself out of it quickly, he’s just being…
Dr. Hojo.
Notorious womanizer, but the best damn surgeon there was, a whole idiot and yet an entire genius. And not your type, not at all, even if he’s gorgeous, you did not like man whores, or men that aren’t serious, especially not your boss, anyway. Fucking your boss in this industry would essentially make everyone question every accomplishment as favoriteism.
You sure weren’t going to sacrifice all your hard work for some dick.
You bounce away, heading to the little cafe where your friends are waiting, sitting next to Yuta who hands you a coffee with a little smile. “Thank you, ugh.”
“You’re welcome, girlie.”
“So, party?”
“Maki!” You three say, and she sighs, shooting her espresso down.
“Next weekend! Come on you guys, what do you say?”
“Oh fine.” You concede. Maki, Yuta and Toge all live with you, in your town home, since you could absolutely not afford it yourself, with the shitty pay of your internship and the college bills. It was left to you, but you still had property taxes and other bills, so they helped a ton. “No one better fuck my house up, I swear.”
“Hell yeah, here’s to a party bitches.” She holds up her little styrofoam cup, and you all cheers each other then, laughing.
“Party, hmm?” Comes Dr. Gojo’s voice, he’s standing there with Dr. Geto and Dr. Nanami. You all get nervous then, but he grins. “I’m coming. What about you guys?”
“No way.” Nanami grumbles, he’s very serious, his glasses slung over his sandy blond hair, his face exhausted.
“I’ll come.” Dr. Geto chimes in, chuckling and sipping his coffee, he’s as tall as Dr. Gojo and well swoon worthy. He would be more your type you think, with that serious yet fun nature, whereas Dr. Gojo…
“C’mon Nanami. You gotta, you gotta, you-”
“Jesus you’re a child.” You say, and Gojo gasps at you, Geto and even Nanami laugh, only earning Gojo’s scowl.
“You brat, I’m a good eight years older than you!”
“You look like a twenty year old frat boy.”
"And you look like an angry little brat!” He shot back, only causing more laughter to erupt from the group.
“Okay, okay.” Dr. Geto holds up his hands now. “Let’s be nice, kids.”
“Kids! Suguru I’m older than you.” Gojo says with a glare.
“Like six months. Anyway, we’ll be there at this party, text us the details? We’d love to unwind.” Dr. Geto says, and Maki jumps up now, as you and Gojo are glaring at each other across your table. “Got it, thank you Maki.”
“Of course, we’ll invite both of your interns too. It’ll be much needed after hell month.” You just sit there, as they all talk, and Gojo is all pouty, like a baby. You peek at your phone now, seeing a text from your shitty ex, your face falls.
“Everything okay?” Maki asks softly, and you sigh, nodding.
“Just the ex.” You whisper back.
“Ex huh?” Satoru has somehow gotten behind you, leaning over, you smack at his hand then, glaring. “What, I wanna know!”
“You’re too fucking much sometimes. Ugh.” You stand up then, slinking past him. “I’m headed to get changed and then I’m leaving. See you all at home?” They all nod, eyeing you and Satoru curiously, you wave at the Doctors then head out.
Ugh, along with Satoru just being… weird and annoying, and your ex? He was a toxic, needy mess. He’d left you because you didn’t have enough time for him, and maybe you really didn’t, how could you have a relationship until your internship was finished? The first week none of you even left the hospital, sleeping in bunk beds and showering there.
But he constantly needed you, made you feel guilty, would fuck with your alarms and everything. Thank God he was long gone, even if he was annoying you currently, you delete his messages, heading to the locker room and hearing steps. You look back curiously to see Satoru holding the door open for you.
“What are you doing?”
“I am sorry, that was rude of me.”
“Yeah, well, what’s new.” You both walk into the locker room now, Satoru’s shrugging off his white lab coat, your cheeks heat up while you slip off your scrub top, it was normal to change in front of everyone, you all had co op locker rooms and showers even, all of you took years of anatomy, the human body was nothing really but parts.
But as you feel his eyes on you, when you’re down to just a black lace bra and a pair of boy shorts, you tense a bit, looking at him, shirtless, his lips parted as he looks at you. “I am sorry I know I annoy you, Miss perfect.”
“I’m no Miss perfect. I guess I have a lot to prove.” You say softly, trying not to drink in his rippling muscles, perfect well defined torso, cuts low where he’s now sliding up a pair of dark blue jeans.
His blue eyes fixate on you as he does, as you’re sliding on a pair of jeans yourself, buttoning them with trembling hands. “I had a lot to prove once too. I do understand.”
“You’re being serious?” You tease, earning a little smile, as he slides a black long sleeve shirt over his head. You get flustered as you realize your nipples are pressed against the cups of your bra, sliding your shirt and then a jacket on yourself, sitting at the bench to slide on your black boots.
“I can be serious sometimes, I just think there’s enough death, sadness, and depression in this career. Why not just try to have some fun? Otherwise, it’ll just consume you.” He says softly, in that husky voice of his, so sexy it alone could wreck someone. But his words…
“That makes sense.” You say softly now, standing as he does, grabbing your purse and locking up your locker, spinning the combination, at the same time he grabs his keys and wallet. “So you try to… brighten up things.”
“Yeah, someone has to.” He walks to you then, tapping your nose once more. “You’re too serious, you’ll have to lighten up, or this career will wreck you.”
You nod then, carefully, realizing perhaps this slutty, silly doctor had a lot more to him, than just being the perfect surgeon. “I’ll take that advice. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, also…” He leans forward as you all are stepping out of the locker room, headed toward the automatic glass doors, and you look at him curiously. “Nice panties.”
“Oh fuck you, Dr. Hojo!” You glare now, shoving at him, as he heads to his mercedes benz, and you’re in your ancient SUV that sounds like a beast.
“Night-night, intern.” He shoots you two fingers, sliding into his fancy car with blacked out windows. You roll your eyes, putting your car in gear.
What a day.
This is just a little bit of what I'm thinking of doing when I finish up my Lawyer Gojo story, thought I'd see who wants to be tagged and is interested in this :) Look forward to your thoughts on Dr. Hojo lol!
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I absolutely love reading soft gojo x reader fics where the reader is sweet and soft with him bc we all know our man deserves it 💗
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(SHE’S) JUST A PHASE CHAPTER SIXTEEN: maybe a phase?
masterlist
“Didn’t expect this many people to show up,” Megumi mumbled to the pink-haired boy beside him.
“I like it! It’s like our very own cult!” Yuji exclaimed; his eyes sparkling as he licked his lips in anticipation.
The raven rolled his eyes at the remark. He wasn’t wrong though. With the turnout of the event, you could start a small religion.
Fans gathered in eager clusters; their faces lit with anticipation as they waited for their moment with the band. Laughter echoed around him, a stark contrast to the knot of anxiety tightening in his chest. Megumi felt like a marionette, expertly performing his role while his heart remained tethered to unspoken thoughts.
“Megumi, can you finish the heart?”
He suppresses a mental groan at yet another familiar request, but he obliges, nonetheless.
That definitely must have been the hundredth one. With a practised smile, he lifts his hand, expertly completing the heart shape as the girl beams through the screen. The phone obscures her face, leaving him with only a sense of her enthusiasm.
Around him, the atmosphere of the fan meet-and-greet buzzes with energy. His bandmates are in their element, laughing and joking with fans, their easy conviviality filling the air with warmth. They engage with their admirers, sharing stories and creating moments that spark joy, their carefree spirits a stark contrast to his mood - enjoying themselves.
Having fun.
As he stands there, a twinge of envy bubbles beneath the surface. Here he is, moping over a girl who seems not to want anything to do with him. Well, anything but his dick. While everyone else is immersed in genuine interaction, he can’t shake the feeling of being sidelined and lost in his thoughts while the world around him pulses with life and laughter.
why would i care?
His heart panging as he replayed the text message he had received days ago, each word lingering like a haunting refrain. Was it wrong to feel this way? To sense that everything he had shared was merely a facade, a carefully crafted performance for someone who never truly saw him.
He couldn’t shake the unsettling realization that he felt like nothing more than a fleeting moment in her life—a one-night stand disguised as something deeper. The weight of this realization pressed down on him, an oppressive reminder that his emotions felt tossed aside as if he were just an afterthought in a narrative that didn’t include him.
The feeling of being used gnawed at him, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. Every time he revisited that moment, a tight knot formed in his stomach, an ache that echoed his longing for something genuine. He craved a connection that resonated beyond the surface and spoke to his heart and soul rather than just his body. As the days passed, that yearning only deepened, leaving him in a cycle of doubt and self-reflection, questioning what it truly meant to be seen and valued.
Whatever. Fuck Yn. She can go fuck herself. I don’t fucking need her. Fuck her. Fuck her. Fuck her. Fuck her. Fuck-
“Oh my god! I’m such a huge fan!” The enthusiastic voice sliced through his thoughts, yanking him back to the chaotic reality of the event.
He quickly summoned his best faux smile, a mask he had perfected through countless encounters.
“Hey! Thank you so much, I really appreciate it,” he replied, glancing down at the array of items sliding his way to autograph—each one a reminder of the crushing expectations he felt.
The fan leaned in closer, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “I just have one question for you.”
“Shoot,” he said, keeping his voice steady, though a flicker of tension danced beneath the surface.
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
He chuckled at the unexpected question, shaking his head. “I do not.”
“Then who’s that girl you’re always with?” she asked, tilting her head curiously.
“Dunno who you’re talking about,” he said, trying to keep his composure as he continues signing.
“Yes, you do!” she insisted, her voice rising with excitement as she grips the edge of the table.
As she continued to speculate about this so-called girlfriend, Megumi felt something inside him unravel. Maybe it was the sting of her silence in their last conversation, the way she had left him on read, leaving him feeling a little shattered. Or perhaps it was the sheer exhaustion of the endless meet-and-greet, where each interaction felt like a rehearsed line in a play he no longer wished to perform. The walls felt as if they were closing in, the air thick with unspoken feelings and unresolved questions.
Something snapped.
“She’s not my girlfriend, she’s just some random bitch who sluts herself out and calls it fun.”
The words escaped him before he could rein them in.
A heavy silence settles between them; the fan was stunned into stillness by his choice of words — and profanity. His eyes dropped to the phone in her hands, and dread washed over him as he realises she was recording.
Fuck.
extras!
• hey siri play she’s just a phase by puma blue
• cue the megumi fumble arc
• megumi crash out video: 2 minutes long
• poor gojo had a heart attack when he got that pop bae notification (he hates dealing with the press)
• he put on notifs ever since they posted a pic of him and suguru walking out of a hotel together hand in hand LMFAO
• yn was standing in one spot just furiously tapping at her phone and panda asked if she was playing fruit ninja
• he got sent to his room after that
• nobara saw the video first (mainly bc she was on twitter at the time. who’s surprised?)
• told yn to brace herself and showed her it
• yn made 7 hate accounts during the uber to sukuna’s
• that girl mad as hell😂😂🤣🤦♀️
• i hope they don’t hook up!!
• side eye dog meme
taglist: @shokosbunny @luvvmae @satoryaa @prozacprinc3ss @essjujutsu @therealsatorugojo @yeehawslap @gojodickbig @dawnisatotalqueen @j2upiters @nappingnai @lalalasillybilly3000 @totallytatum @3cst4syy @lysaray @saltypuffin1040 @aozui @noodles-icetea @makeshiftproject @kurtcobaingirlie @kokoiinuts @dashingaurries @slvttycorpse @cuupidsss @mochroialainn @tenjikusstuff4 @ichcocat @laughingfcx @sugurubabe @allthestarsarecloserrrrrrr @tyigerz @yoyo-yui @megoomies @yizmiu @jasminasblog22 @marst4rz @guitarstringed-scars @kalulakunundrum @lovefrominaya @beepbopzlorp @itsdragonius @meguemii @chilichopsticks @starantulas @1l-ynn @sluttkuna @rcveriees @solaqes @starrysho @sukunaspillow @evry1luvssm
*if i can't tag you please change your tag settings otherwise i will remove you from the list!
#megumi x female reader#jjk megumi#megumi jujutsu kaisen#megumi fushiguro#megumi x reader#megumi fushiguro x reader
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little halloween drabble!! 🎃 ps: toji is definitely the type of dad to cut into every piece of candy megumi got before letting him eat it. (likes reblogs always appreciated <3)
“right go on buddy go knock.”
toji watched as his son waddled towards the door ahead of him. he had to admit megumi looked really fucking cute. he had been going on and on about dressing up as mario for halloween so toji had done what any good dad would do and he bought him the full costume. the kid even had a fake mustache stuck to his upper lip.
“and remember to say please and thank you megs okay?”
“yes daddy i know.” megumi replied with a little too much sass in his tone.
his little fist knocked a couple times on the door until it opened and then there was. you. toji was a bit too focused on laughing at his sons costume that he hadn’t realised someone dressed up as bat-woman had opened the door. toji himself was dressed up as batman (if you could call keeping the batman mask atop his head dressing up). you were matching. and you were fucking gorgeous. toji was busy taking in your long bare legs when he heard the sudden screech leave you at the sight of his son.
“oh don’t you look adorable!!”
he was definitely gonna buy megumi some pizza on the way back after this.
“uh thank you. trick or treat?”
“hold on let me grab my bowl of candy.”
toji couldn’t help but stare at the rest of you as you turned your back on them. you returned with a massive pumpkin shaped bowl full to the brim with sweets and wrapped cakes.
“go on honey take as much as you like.”
and megumi did not take that sentence lightly. toji scoffed as his son grabbed as much as his chubby hands could carry and stuffed it into his bucket, all the while you grinned and cooed at the boy infront of you.
“does daddy want some?”
toji looked at you and the smirk on your face at your little question.
“nah i’m good thank you.”
just as megumi was about to turn back to his dad toji reminded him, “say thank you baby.”
“thank you baby.” megumi very confidently turned to you and said and you had all but melted. you were in a fit of giggles now as toji held a palm up to his face. megumi looked up at his dad wondering what the commotion was about.
“sorry about that.”
“no you’re good, that’s just made my night.”
you were just staring at each other now, neither of you wanting to break away without saying something more.
“hey we’re matching.” and there was something about your smile. he couldn’t get enough.
“yeah i realised.”
god what should he say. he didn’t want to just ask for your number he was clearly older than you.
“haven’t seen you around here before you new?”
“yeah i uh moved in last week.”
he watched every word come out of your pink painted lips. watched as you tucked a strand of black hair behind your ear.
“daddy why are you staring?”
that got another laugh out of you as you ruffled little megumis hair. there was a small hue of pink now dusting your cheeks however.
“nothing brat. well i’ll see you around then.”
“yeah hopefully.” and with one last smile and wave at megumi you closed your front door and toji was left standing there staring at your closed door and wondering if and when would be the next time he saw you.
“do you love her?”
“what??”
“you keep staring at her it’s weird.”
“i’ll be eating your candy when we get home.”
a/n : ty for 370 followers !!!!
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Growing Pains
part two
♡ˎˊ˗ hiiii and welcome back to the second installment of the fic that’s taken over my life ♡ ̆̈ be sure to start here if you're new ♡ quick lil note before we begin; there aren’t enough thank yous to express how grateful i am for the love i've gotten on this. i was floored by how many people requested to be on the taglist. the encouragement and excitement surrounding this fic have meant the world to me ♡ also wanna give a massive shoutout to @thewickedjazzy for all of the proofreading, advice, and laughter she graced me with while finishing this <333 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅anyway, biblically-cannon-megumi x fem!reader. slow burn. hurt / comfort. aged up characters. forced proximity. (light) enemies to lovers. eventual smut. this is what jjk could've been if fushiguro was the main character and gege would’ve been hugged as a child. lemme know whatcha think, luv u ♡ˎˊ˗
₊⊹♡ MDNI ₊⊹♡
° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
You were abundantly relieved when you showed up to Yuuji's room to be greeted by a pillow fort, snacks, and zero romantic expectations from him. Even if he would've wanted to pursue you, there simply wouldn't have been enough time with how much exposition he had to fill you in on regarding the first three films. Laughing with him under a mountain of mismatched blankets turned out to be the perfect distraction from how shitty your first week of classes had been.
You had no idea how badly you needed to vent to someone until after the credits began to roll and you finally let yourself open up about how things had been going lately. You were past the point of small talk, past the point of sugarcoating your feelings to try and make them more digestible for others.
You let yourself be honest – well, as honest as you could be without breaking your contract with Yaga.
"Wow..." he breathed, his eyes gently meeting yours. "I'm sorry things have been so rough, but... don't let Maki or the others get to you. She doesn't know what she's talking about anyway. You're just as important as anyone else here."
There was a palpable sense of warmth that surrounded him. Sincere goodness that made you feel grateful to be his friend as you let him loosely wrap his pinky wrap around yours in reassurance.
"It'll get better," he determined, releasing your hand to pop another piece of popcorn into his mouth. "And as far as Fushiguro goes, just... give him some time. He's not always the best with his feelings and I think that you –"
You narrowed your eyes at him curiously, noting the way he seemed to freeze when he realized where his sentence was heading.
"You think I what?"
"Well, I –" He paused again, searching for a way to convey what he wanted to say without actually having to say it. "I think you... confuse him, is all."
You furrowed your brow at him, shaking your head in disbelief.
"I confuse him?" You'd almost laughed, thinking back to all of the emotional whiplash he'd given you between middle school and now. "Do you know impossible he is to deal with?"
“I do.” He said honestly, shooting you a half-hearted smile. “Trust me, I get it. He doesn’t warm up to people easily, but… it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.”
You weren’t sure that you were able to believe Fushiguro cared about you given that he could barely even be bothered to look at you most of the time, but you still appreciated the pink-haired boy’s patience and optimism. You buried down your doubt and the rest of your harsh words, replacing them with a small smile instead, "Thanks, Yuuji." You said, grabbing one last handful of popcorn.
"I hope you're right..."
° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
You'd started the following week on a high note, doing your best to hold onto Yuuji's words of wisdom no matter how hard it was at times. It'd been a series of small, but positive changes that slowly began to grow into something bigger.
You'd gradually learned how to tune Maki and her backhanded comments out almost entirely, taking a page out of Fushiguro's book and pretending that she didn't exist when you saw her in passing.
You'd made it a point to greet Ijichi with a smile each morning, looking up math jokes to tell him before class, which you could tell he appreciated.
You'd been buckling down on your studies, rejecting the idea that they were any less useful than what your peers were learning. Yuuji's voice echoed through your head fairly often with, "You're just as important as anyone else here."
You’d realized that you may not have had a say in getting placed here, but you did have a say in how you handled yourself and if this was your new life, you were going to make it a good one.
You braided your hair into a loose ponytail while taking in the various scents of coconut body wash and vanilla lotion and raspberry shampoo that swirled about the girls' washroom as you slipped into your pajamas. Throwing your duffle bag over your shoulder and giving yourself one final look before heading back down the hall with a deep breath.
Despite how much progress you'd been making in your efforts to become stable again, there was still one negative part of your life that you couldn't block out no matter how hard you tried.
Fushiguro's coldness towards you had grown increasingly more blatant and harder to accept over the last week and a half. There were no longer varying degrees of silence with him – it was constant, cruel, and deafening.
He'd only been speaking to you if it was absolutely necessary, not even acknowledging you when you'd enter the dorm anymore. You'd become background noise to him, something that was always there but unimportant enough to easily drown out.
As much as you'd tried to embrace Yuuji's sentiment, this was the one thing he had been way off about. You didn't confuse Fushiguro, you seemed to infuriate him. And though you'd never bring yourself to say it aloud, it... hurt feeling like such an inconvenience to him.
Realistically, you knew it shouldn't have come as a surprise that he didn't want to be around you – why would he? In his own words, you were a "mistake that he was bound to for the rest of his fucking life". You weren't dumb enough to think there'd one day be room for friendship in the situation you both were stuck in, but you hadn't anticipated just how hard it would be to carry around the weight of his distaste towards you either.
You let out a shaky exhale as you walked into the room, your eyes slightly lingering over the spine of his book: Understanding Unusual Curses
You unpacked your shower bag, quietly humming to yourself as you separated the clean clothes from the dirty, peering over your shoulder at him every so often. Truthfully, you weren't sure what you'd say to him if he would talk to you but knowing that the option for conversation had been removed from the table entirely was maddening for some reason.
You peeled back your comforter and arranged your pillows how you liked them before turning out your light and crawling into bed, fighting back the pitiful urge to ask how his day went just to try and break the silence with something. Your eyes were glued to the ceiling as you watched his side of the room go dark too.
You hadn't bothered to put your usual headphones on, instead counting tiles and going over probability equations in your head to keep your thoughts from drifting back to the one place they wouldn't stop trying to return to.
Minutes passed; the stillness of the room almost growing comfortable as the snow from outside tapped softly against the window.
You were right on the verge of sleep, finally fully relaxed when your eyes fluttered back open to the sound of his mattress creaking. He was light on his feet, seemingly thorough in his attempts to not wake you up as he buttoned his jacket and began lacing up his shoes. You rolled over, squinting to see the time 11:59 glaring back at you from the nightstand.
What the hell was he doing?
Your stomach churned when you heard him grab his keys, your body suddenly acting faster than your brain while you pushed the covers off of you and got to your feet.
He froze as you stood to face him, clearly not expecting you to still be up. He'd been avoiding you as much as possible since your movie night with Yuuji and this certainly wasn't how he imagined his next conversation with you having to go.
"Fushiguro...?"
He looked at you – really looked at you for a moment, his steel walls slightly slipping at the sight of your pastel pink pajamas and the hesitancy in your stance. Even from under the low glow of moonlight seeping in through the blinds, your nervousness was plain to see.
"Go back to sleep." He said, dismissively pulling the hood from his jacket up over his head. "I won't be long."
With how insistent he'd been in pushing you away, you didn’t really know why you were attempting to reason with him, but you couldn’t help it. You were reaching your breaking point with the constant guessing game you'd been forced play when it came to what was going on with him or how he was feeling. It was the same type of anxiety you'd felt the first day he'd left you by yourself, only it was way worse, given how much of a downturn spiral your relationship had taken since then.
"You're not leaving campus… are you?"
"No," His eyes were cautious as they searched yours, his tone just as aggravatingly indifferent as it always was. "I have to help Gojo with something. Shouldn't take long."
He reached for the door handle, hoping to leave it at that when your voice cut through the darkness again.
"You promise?"
After everything that had transpired between the two of you, he really didn't understand your worry for him. If he was being honest with himself, he'd assumed that you probably hated him by now. But the pleading little glimmer in your eye as you gazed back at him from across the room told a vastly different story. There was something about your vulnerability and the way you weren’t willing to let him leave without knowing he was going to be okay that almost made him... ache.
He felt his walls drop further, his body betraying him entirely as he took a step forward and carefully tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Promise." He whispered, struggling to ignore the way your pupils seemed to bloom at his touch. "But I need you to keep this between us for right now, okay?"
Time came to a grinding halt as you both stared back at each other, a depraved part of you wondering if you'd ever see this side of him again or if it was nothing more than a late-night lapse of judgement.
“Okay..." you conceded, "I trust you."
He gave a slow nod, letting his hand fall back to his side as he tore his attention away from you. "Get some sleep." He repeated, gently closing the door behind him.
Your eyes didn't move from where he'd been standing though, your legs firmly locked in place while you cupped the side of your cheek. Your mind suddenly sorting through much more complex equations. Like – which unit of mass has the greater probability of crushing you first? The weight of Fushiguro's silence or the weight of Fushiguro's... affection?
° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
The days after your conversation with him were a blur.
You'd been going through the motions – showing up for class, passing your tests, spending your free time with Yuuji and Nobara, and doing everything you possibly could to not dwell on what happened. Fushiguro had settled so heavily back into his usual state of aloofness that it almost made you question if you'd dreamt the whole thing up or not, but you knew you hadn't.
You were still keeping his secret, not panicking anymore when you'd hear him leave at odd hours of the night. With the exception of letting you know when he had plans to see Gojo, he'd gone back to his default setting of only speaking to you out of necessity. Sometimes greeting you when you walked through the door, but not always. That was the extent of growth in your relationship, that was where his tolerance towards you seemed to end.
It wasn't until your first chauffeuring assignment that the two of you were forced back into communication with each other.
"You want me to take the second-years?" You winced, wondering if this was some sort of sick joke from the higher-ups after you'd nearly pleaded with Ijichi to not make this your first mission trip.
"Unfortunately, it's out of my hands but I know you'll be fine. Taking them won't be any different than taking another group."
You knew that he meant well, but he had no idea what he was talking about. "Ijichiii," you whined, "please don't do this to me."
He let out a flustered breath, habitually pushing his glasses back over the bridge of his nose. "You're going to be fine." He reiterated, "Just stay focused on what we've gone over and don't let yourself get distracted."
You were still hopelessly trying to negotiate with him though, rattling off nonsense about how you'd do a week's worth of extra credit work if he'd take this one thing off of your plate when you heard Yuuji's voice bounce across the hall.
"Hell yeah!" He beamed, "This is gonna be way better than having Ijichi drive us!"
Nobara hastily smacked him on the shoulder as they rounded the corner, her voice barely lower than his as she whisper-shouted "Shut up! He can probably hear you, you know!"
The raven-haired man looked utterly exhausted between dealing with the four of you.
"Deep breaths." He said while handing you the keys, only you weren't sure if he was reminding you or himself of that as he closed the door to your classroom and left you to your own devices.
"Ready?" Yuuji smiled, completely oblivious to the thick air of tension he'd just walked into.
"Yeah," you lied, avoiding Fushiguro's stare at all costs. "Let's go..."
° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
The car was loud.
Nobara and Yuuji both laughing and leaning up to change the radio station every five minutes while Fushiguro sat with his arms folded over his chest. His attention was fully fixated on your driving and your ability to deal with the chaotic mix of heavy traffic, snow-filled streets, and the two idiots that were bantering back and forth next to him. He watched your every move, his apprehension only amplifying yours.
Your arms were locked at 10 and 2, your shoulders stiff as you forced yourself to push past the music and the weight of his stare, tentatively following the sound of the GPS Ijichi had given you before you left.
You'd been briefed on what a typical drop-off should look like and what your responsibilities would be while you were essentially on call. But this was far from the instructional video you'd watched with Ijichi's voiceover and bad acting as he drove an overly-excited-to-be-on-camera-Gojo to his destination.
"Stop here." Fushiguro said, abruptly breaking your train of thought.
Your gaze shifted between his reflection in the rearview mirror and the GPS that showed you were still about a half a mile away from your drop-off point.
"Why?"
"Just stop." He repeated in a way that made you afraid to have him say it a third time.
Nobara and Yuuji's singing came to a quick halt as they looked back at him. "No way!" Nobara protested, "We're like 5 blocks away from where we should be and it's freezing out. Keep going."
Your grip tightened on the steering wheel, listening to the two of them go back and forth with each other as your foot hovered hesitantly between the brake and the gas pedal.
"Hey," Yuuji interjected, leaning up to place a light hand on your shoulder. "Look, there's a gas station up there and I wanna grab a water anyway."
It was amazing how clueless yet absolutely receptive he could be at times, creating the perfect compromise for his two best friends without forcing you to settle the argument between them.
He shot you a wink as you flicked on your turn signal, smiling at your whispered "thank you" to him. You turned down the radio, carefully pulling up to the building before letting them out.
"See you guys in a few hours."
While Nobara and Yuuji were already waving back to you and on their way inside, Fushiguro was stalling, pretending to grab something else out of the car as he leaned toward your seat. "Come back to this same spot to pick us up."
Your eyes caught his in the rearview mirror again as you gave him a skeptical nod. You'd learned over the last couple of months that arguing with him was usually more time-consuming than it was anything else, and you knew that neither one of you had much of it to spare right now.
"Hey," you said, stopping him just as he was about to close the door. You weren't sure what you were doing. Weren't sure why your brain seemed to malfunction like this on the days that he would talk to you, but your mouth had already opened before you had the chance to catch it from slipping out. "Be... safe, okay?"
His shoulders stiffened, his attention reluctantly returning back to you. "Right," he breathed, "you too..."
It took everything in you to ignore the pathetic fluttering feeling that had taken over your stomach as you watched him disappear inside. You shook your head, putting the car in reverse while you forced yourself to focus on the time instead.
You needed to be at your next class in 30 minutes – and you would be... right after a quick pitstop.
° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
The winter sun had almost vanished from the sky altogether as the trio emerged from the abandoned elementary school they'd been sent to. Their mission had gone mostly according to plan aside from a few unexpected hits that Itadori had taken, but luckily it was nothing that any of them would have to see Shoko over.
"Man, I'm hungry." The pink-haired boy yawned, stretching his arms up over his head. "Think she'll stop and get us some food on the way back?"
"Ohh ~" Kugisaki chimed in, remembering the new sushi place you'd passed before dropping them off. "I could really go for some tuna maki right now."
Fushiguro relaxed his hands into his pockets while he filtered through their banter, staring up at the vast array of lights that decorated the tall buildings of downtown Tokyo. A sense of solace settled over him, realizing that aside from a rather obnoxious conversation with Gojo that morning, he'd nearly managed to make it through the entire day unnoticed. He hated this time of year, hated what it represented and the unnecessary anxiety that came along with it.
"Hey Fushiguro," Itadori's voice was unusually low as they made their way into the gas station's parking lot, the two of them slowing down while Kugisaki all but sprinted to the warmth of your car. "You know I wouldn't do anything with her, right?"
He paused, an incredulous expression sweeping across his face as he raised his brow at him. "With who?"
Itadori let out a confused laugh, nodding towards you.
"It's kinda been weighin' on me and we haven't really talked about it." He admitted sheepishly. "I guess I just wanted you to know that I wouldn't do that to you."
"Do what to me?"
There was a sudden uncomfortable edge to his tone, one that only made Itadori's grin grow wider. "Oh wow," he mused, "Kugisaki was right, you really are still in denial about it, huh?"
"In denial about what?" Fushiguro demanded, "I'm not in denial about anything. What the hell are we even talking ab –"
But before his outburst had a chance to flare up any further, a car horn snapped both of their attention forward. Kugisaki reaching over you with her fist slammed into the center of the steering wheel.
"Come on!" She shouted, "That sushi place closes in 20 minutes, let's go!"
Yuuji was smart enough to drop it altogether as they piled into the backseat though, noting the way he was sitting in an irritated silence with his arms crossed over his chest and his head rested against the window. All he wanted to do was get back to his dorm and go to sleep to finally put an end to this day.
Much to his relief, the restaurant you stopped at was take-out only with it being so close to closing time– able to get your group in and back on the road fairly quickly. He tried his best to shove past the conversation he'd had with Itadori. Tried not to show how drained he was as Kugisaki laughed at something you'd said while divvying out everyone's orders. Tried his absolute hardest to keep it together for the sake of everyone else in the car.
But no matter how much he concealed it, pulling into the faculty parking lot still felt like a light at the end of the tunnel.
But no matter how much he tried to conceal it, pulling into the faculty parking lot still felt like a light at the end of the tunnel.
He grabbed both of your boxes and headed up to the room while you returned the keys back to Ijichi, leaving Itadori and Kugisaki with a tired, "see you tomorrow".
He set your food on your nightstand, swiftly changing out of his uniform and into a pair of pajamas while you were still gone. It wasn't until he sat down to eat that he noticed it – the small pristinely wrapped gift sitting atop his pillow with a birthday card attached to it.
His hand shook slightly as he opened it, peeling back the wrapping paper to see the second volume of Understanding Unusual Curses looking back at him.
"Is it the right one?"
His eyes snapped up to the doorway where you were standing, completely blindsided by the fact that you'd somehow remembered despite his best efforts at making sure everyone else had forgotten.
"Yeah, it is..." He finally said, glancing back down at the cover. "But why... did you...?"
"Just... because –" You shrugged, suddenly finding it hard to look at him as you took a seat on your bed and reached for your takeout. "I knew that you wouldn't want to make a big deal out of it, but I still wanted to..." Warmth brushed across your cheeks as you felt his gaze return to you, making you lose track of your words even more. "I mean – it just would've felt weird not saying anything about it at all, so I..."
He nodded, bringing your rambling a gentle pause. His stare was saying more than he was capable of as it lingered along your face, taking in all the little details of your soft expression. "Thank you."
"Yeah," you said with a faint smile, "you're welcome."
° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
The next week was a stressful blend of more mission trips and finals that had kept you busier than you'd anticipated. You spent the majority of your time in the library, having to decline lunch with Nobara and Yuuji when all you wanted to do was stop and take a break with them. Your nights were spent going over statistic problems until your eyes were too heavy to keep open anymore – your anxiety on high alert with each morning that came along and ushered in a new set of tests for you to take.
By the time Saturday finally arrived, you were more than ready to forget about all of the cramming and stress-studying you'd been doing. So when Nobara told you about a New Year's Eve party on the third-years' wing, you immediately put your apprehension to the side and agreed to go with her.
Yuuji and Fushiguro had both been invited too– but of course, only one of them was walking alongside you and Nobara when the time came.
"You're sure it's not too much?" You asked again, pulling at the bottom of the dress she'd let you borrow as you began to second-guess its ability to keep you covered for the rest of the night.
Before you'd ended up at Jujutsu High, going out in a little black dress like this would've been just another weekend, but you were still adjusting here. You had no idea what a sorcerer party looked like, let alone what everyone else would wear when they weren't forced to be in uniform.
"Shut up, you look hot." Nobara smiled, nudging your shoulder with hers in reassurance. Her outfit was a bit more relaxed than what she'd helped you settle on, but her pleated skirt was still about the same length as yours– paired with a dark red halter top and a pair of Docs.
You returned her smile, biting back a small laugh at how she'd practically dragged you out of your room so that you could get ready with her. "I promise I'll have her back no later than midnight, sir." she'd sarcastically saluted to Fushiguro, but he'd only sighed in response before promptly closing the door on both of you.
"This is it, right?" Yuuji asked as the three of you arrived at a dorm that had an overpour of music flowing through the wall and a makeshift "do not disturb" sign taped over the room number.
"What do you think?" Nobara quipped, shaking her head as Maki appeared before she had the chance to knock.
"Woww," she smirked when her eyes landed on you, "surprised you were allowed to come out all by yourself."
"Maki." Nobara snapped, a protective edge in her voice as she flashed her a warning look. "Don't. We're all here for the same reason. There's no need to single her out like that."
"Tch, fine, whatever." Maki backed off, not wanting to push it any further for the sake of their friendship. "Come on in."
You reached out and squeezed Nobara's hand as a quiet, "thank you" while the two of you took a seat on the floor next to Yuuji, joining the small circle that everyone had formed. Even under the dim glow of blue led lights, the dorm was noticeably larger than yours– there was a connecting bathroom and space for at least three beds, but it still felt crowded given the fact that were roughly 10 of you all packed in.
"What do you want to drink, new girl?" Maki asked, looking at you from over her glasses as she reached into a minifridge that was stocked full of different airplane bottles and seltzers.
"Surprise me." You shrugged.
It was probably a dumb idea to let her make that call given her feelings towards you, but she didn't seem fazed as she stirred you and Nobara up the same mix of rum and cherry coke.
"Here," she said, tossing Yuuji an IPA and handing you two red solo cups.
You didn't realize when you'd first arrived that your group had walked into an ongoing game of truth or dare, but it made you all the more grateful that she had poured you something strong as you watched them go back and forth.
"Truth." Yuuji decided, taking a swig off of his beer.
"What's your type?" Panda challenged.
"Oh, easy." Yuuji beamed as if he'd been waiting all day for someone to ask. "I like a tall woman with a nice, big ass – like Jennifer Lawrence orrr..." He tapped a finger to his chin for a moment as he thought, "Grammy winner Megan Thee Stallion." He finished proudly. "Just sayin'."
"Men are such pigs." Nobara sighed to you, but you couldn't help but laugh at how shameless and specific his answer was.
Yuuji glanced around the room, trying to figure out who was going to be next when he landed on Yuta, "Truth or dare?"
"Oh, uh –" He stammered, running a hand along the back of his neck. "Truth."
"C'monnn," Maki huffed, "somebody's gotta choose dare eventually."
Yuuji shot her a look but didn't bother acknowledging her as he turned towards Yuta.
"When did you meet Rika?" It wasn't every day that he got to talk to the third-years and it was something he'd been genuinely curious about since he only ever saw him in passing.
Yuta's dark eyes softened a bit, seemingly relieved at how easy of a question he'd gotten. "Well, we met when we were five." He said, a slight smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. "Kind of a, erm – long story, but we went to school together and got really close there and then we were just kinda... inseparable." He scratched the back of his head with a small laugh. "Guess we still are."
You downed the rest of your drink, just about to get up and make yourself another when you heard your name.
You swiftly returned your attention back to Yuta, thinking about Maki's complaint. She looked bored, staring off into the distance as she sipped her seltzer. You didn't know why you cared if she liked you or not, but the rum in your system had made you unexpectedly determined to change her perspective.
"Dare."
"Oh..." There was an immediate tonal change in the room when you answered though, Yuta almost looking nervous for you.
"Finally." Maki smirked, getting to her feet as she wedged herself between Yuta and Inumaki.
Nobara narrowed her eyes at her suspiciously as she asked Yuta if he had a dare in mind or if he needed help thinking of one. Of course, he'd left it up to her, not wanting to be responsible for what came next.
Maki leaned over, whispering something in Inumaki's ear.
"What are you doing?" Nobara pressed.
But Inumaki was already on his way over to you, his amethyst eyes almost entrancing as he carefully unzipped the high collar of his jacket. It was the first time you'd ever seen the markings that decorated the sides of his face.
You heard Yuuji call your name. Felt Nobara grab your arm to try and pull your attention away from him, but it was all too late when he opened his mouth and let out the words,
"Tell Fushiguro."
The bass from the music and the sound of Maki and Nobara's sudden argument all began to run together, tapering down to a barely audible hum before disappearing entirely. Your mind was forcibly clear, the usual clutter that occupied it suddenly eviscerated. You had one objective – one task that you had to complete no later than right this very second.
His voice had somehow demoted you from driver to passenger in the vehicle that was your body– paralyzed and absolutely horrified to look down and see your legs and arms begin moving without your permission, effortlessly shoving past Yuuji and Nobara as they tried to block the door. You could feel your heels clicking against the tile of the hallway, your steps sharp and determined no matter how much you tried to bring them to a halt.
You'd lost all control, a part of you still conscious and fully aware of what was happening but suffering from what felt like anesthetic effects while you rounded the corner back to the second-year dorms.
You couldn't hear anything besides the rapid beating of your pulse. Couldn't move your head enough to see what was happening outside your direct line of vision. Your surroundings were a blur, all of your very worst fears manifesting at once as you watched your hand reach for the door handle.
Internally, you were screaming when you saw Fushiguro laying in his usual spot in bed with a book held to his face. Outwardly though, you were placid and collected, calmly locking the door behind you without a word while you turned to him.
"What are you...?"
But his question was abruptly stolen from him, a tidal wave of anxiety crashing through his mind as he watched the cursed energy radiate off of you. He was up and on his feet within a matter of seconds despite your silent pleas for him not to, hands grabbing at your shoulders while his blue eyes scoured through yours.
"When we were in middle school," you heard yourself say, "I used to watch you from across the courtyard when you'd get into fights."
No, no, NO.
His brow furrowed, grip tightening on you as he caught how despondent and vacant your expression was.
"I always wondered if anyone else noticed the way that you'd smile after you'd been pulled off of someone." What. In. God's. Name. "I was happy when we got paired together for that project. I wanted to talk to you for a long time, you know? I just never knew what to say or how to approach you."
It sounded like you were reading off of a script, a hauntingly detached tone delivering such intensely repressed feelings. His pupils doubled in size as the events of what must've brought you here suddenly became harrowingly clear to him –
A party with the third-years. Maki and Toge...
"After you left, everyone acted like you never existed, but I didn't understand how. I thought about you constantly. Always wondering where you had gone and if you were alright. Even after everything that happened the night you saved me, when I woke up in Gojo's office the first thing I did was look for you."
You were under the influence of cursed speech.
You wanted to close your eyes, wanted to look anywhere else besides at him, but your body was completely locked in place. Feet firmly planted on the ground and agonizingly unwilling to cooperate.
"I still think about you all the time– not just because we live together, but because I still care about you like I did back then. Even more now, actually. It hurts knowing that I irritate you because –" It felt like you were breaking through chains as you finally found the strength to shake your head and cut yourself off.
"Fushiguro," your voice was painfully strained, laced with a sense of panic that neither one of you were prepared to hear. "Please–" you begged, "Please make... it... st – op..."
His face went pale, throat running dry as he stormed through his mental library of curse knowledge.
Cursed speech wasn't studied nearly as much as it should've been given how devastating its effects could be, but he still knew enough about it to know that this wasn't going to end any time soon if he couldn't find a way to stop it...
"What makes the curse so powerful is its duration and subjectivity." Gojo had explained during one of his lectures, "Because the victim will be stuck trying to carry out its intent no matter the cost, they run the risk of being held under its influence for days or weeks at a time."
"What happens if they're given a vague command then–" he'd asked, "how would the curse know when the intent has been fulfilled?"
"That's where subjectivity comes in," Gojo smirked, "it feeds off of the victim's subconscious and deepest desires so whatever they feel in their heart is the solution becomes the very thing that they have to achieve."
"And if they're not able to?"
"They die." Gojo had shrugged, flippantly returning to the chalkboard as if his answer held no real weight.
Fushiguro let out a rigid exhale realizing what this meant for both of you. Itadori and Kugisaki may have thought they had him all figured out, but they didn't know the half of it. Didn't have a fucking clue what he was actually up against.
"I like you." Your eyes were watering, tears spilling down your cheeks as your body continued to violate your privacy. "It's why I keep your secrets. It's why I usually can't look at you for too long without having to walk away. I think you're beautiful. Really, really beautiful."
It wasn't confusion or denial that he was grappling with– no, it was something much more damning than just that. He was well aware of his emotions. Acutely aware of how it felt to wake up each morning and see you across the room from him. It was the difference between right and wrong. Between being morally sound and letting himself fall into selfish cruelty.
"Please," your heart felt like it was about to beat straight out of your chest, your shoulders writhing against his grasp in a feeble attempt to regain control over your thoughts. "Please make it stop, Fushiguro. Please, I don't care how, just please... ple...ase.... make it st –"
He couldn't do this. He'd known that from the moment he'd carried you out of that house party and yet he'd somehow run out of all other viable options. He'd been backed into a corner, wedged impossibly tight between his fears and wants.
Everything that he'd fought so hard to maintain– the walls that he'd spent so much time reinforcing, all stolen from him in one fleeting moment. His hands shook slightly as they moved from your shoulders to the sides of your neck.
He cradled your jawline, forcing you to stay with him as his eyes carefully trailed across your face and his lips... caught yours.
You hesitantly leaned into him, feeling your mobility making a gradual return as he steadied you by resting his thumb under your chin while his tongue parted your lips. You were dizzy– the rush of one invisible force lifting from your mind only to immediately be replaced by another. You'd told him everything. All of it. Every dumb, insignificant feeling you'd spent the last six years trying to hide and now you were... kissing him. Really, truly kissing him.
He tasted like spearmint and infatuation. The inside of his mouth cold but inviting, just like everything else about him. You weren't sure which one of you was in charge anymore. Weren't sure where your feelings ended and his began as you gently grabbed onto his waist and pulled him closer.
A small heady noise echoed into the space between you when his chest met yours, pressing your back against the door, but this time for all the right reasons. He could hear how hard your heart was beating. Feel the fervency in your movements as you held onto him.
Every logical part of his brain was telling him to let go– screaming at him to let go. He'd done more than what was needed to dispel the curse and yet for some sick reason... he couldn't. Couldn't stop himself from tangling his hand into your hair. Couldn't stop himself from wedging his leg between yours. Couldn't stop himself from falling into the condemning warmth he'd spent so much time avoiding.
"Fushiguro..."
It wasn't quite a moan but dangerously close to one as he turned your head to the side so that he could reach the nape of your neck, feeling himself slip even further.
"Megumi," he corrected, his teeth softly sinking into you. "If you're gonna say my name," he gritted, his fingertips digging deliriously into the side of your hip. "Say it right."
It was the same ache you'd felt so many times before with him, but it was the first time you didn't have to force it away. You knew what this meant just as much as he did. All of those little barriers made up of formality and distance that he'd placed between you were falling one by one and neither of you were doing anything to stop it.
"Megumi..." You breathed, eyes wide as he slowly returned to you, dragging his thumb across your bottom lip in a way that made you forget the rest of the world existed.
You didn't care about tomorrow or any of the possibilities that might come along with it. Didn't care about Maki or what the other third-years might say about you. All that mattered was the way Megumi was looking at you. The softness in his voice as he flicked the light off and said, "Come here," before reaching for your hand.
It was the last remaining barrier, and it was crumbling beneath both of your feet as you followed him to his side of the room.
His arms wrapped around your waist, tentatively guiding you down to the bed with him. You swallowed hard, letting yourself settle into his usual spot, the familiar scent of his cologne slightly soothing your nerves as he positioned himself over you.
"Relax," he whispered, placing his thumb back under your chin to tilt your face up towards his. "This is all up to you, you know that right?" Your body relaxed into the feeling of his lips pressing against your collarbone, your senses flooded with nothing but him. "Whatever you want or don't want– I'll do it."
His words went straight to your center as you nodded back at him, your mind suddenly very aware of his presence between your legs while he continued his descent across your chest.
He kissed and nipped away at the softness of your skin, gauging his ability to go further by how you wriggled beneath him. Memorizing the spots that made you squirm and the ones that didn't.
His touch was a reflection of his feelings; caution mixed with want. Shouldn'ts mixed with shoulds. If your body was the tight rope that his restraint was walking on, it had his balance completely off kilter.
His eyes drifted up to yours every so often as he began to slide the straps of your dress down over your shoulders, gradually putting you on display for him as he pulled it down past your stomach.
“So pretty," he praised, teeth grazing your nipple before your dress eventually went over your hips and then– to the floor.
You were thankful for the lack of light. The way it was concealing the heat that had migrated to your cheeks as you watched him study you. Any chance of his walls coming back up had been lost entirely to the sight of you splayed out on his bed.
He drew in a sharp breath before adding his shirt and sweatpants into the discarded clothes pile the two of you had created. "Fucking gorgeous," he exhaled against your stomach, the heat from his mouth slowly traveling down to the inside of your thigh.
You moaned at the feeling of his fingers spreading you apart, the coiling tension in your abdomen growing more and more demanding as his lips just barely ghosted your slit.
"You're sure this is what you want?" He asked, looking up at you through heavy lashes.
The answer to his question was gnawing thought, one that lived in the forefront of your mind and kept you up at night– but you never could've imagined that you'd actually find yourself in a position to say it to him.
"I promise," You let out feverishly. "I want... y-ou – hah –"
It was all the confirmation he needed, his tongue suddenly flattening against you, turning your words into nothing more than dreamy little whimpers.
You were so sensitive, your thighs shaking slightly as he drew firm, blissful circles around you. Your hand reached for his and he took it. His pulse suddenly racing at the pouty expression you were wearing while you watched him.
He could've drowned in the noises you were making. How easy it was to coax such big reactions out of you by doing so little. He kept his gaze locked with yours, holding you steady as he slowly dipped a finger into you.
"Megumi," you whined, almost embarrassed by how hard your grip had tightened around his hand.
"There you go," he groaned as your hips rocked against him, noting the way your pace was picking up while more hazy whines filled the room. "Just like that." He soothed, trying to keep his movements consistent when he felt you clench around him. "Keep going."
You were right there, your surroundings seeming to disappear as his name spilled out of you again.
There was something about the way you said it – about how such a lewd thing could sound so pretty coming from you – that completely fractured the last remaining bit of his composure. Your walls spasmed, the high of your release sending shockwaves through your body as you trembled against him.
He kept going, not stopping until he was certain that you'd ridden out every last wave before returning back up to you.
Your lips met his with urgency, barely giving him a chance to catch his breath as your hands tangled into his hair – an overwhelming warm, yearning sensation pulsing at your core.
He could tell where your head was at and god, he didn't want to ask. But his entire objective was to protect you and that couldn't end just because he'd gotten carried away. "Are you, um–"
Time seemed to stop as you noticed the subtle shift in his features, a palpable sense of apprehension cast over him. "Am I what...?" you repeated, running a reassuring hand along his arm.
He let out a flustered sigh, his mind wandering to the drawer of his nightstand and the hundred-and-something condoms Gojo had gifted him when you first moved in "just in case ~".
"I just mean– protection, should I...?"
You bit back a smile as you realized what he was getting at, gently tugging him back to you to spare him from having to finish the rest of his sentence. "Birth control," you said against his lips, "we're okay."
His guard was down entirely, the very last concern that had been keeping him separated from you gone.
"Look at me," he exhaled as he carefully lined himself up with you. "Don't stop looking at me, okay?"
You nodded, trying not to hold your breath as you felt his tip press against your entrance. "Oh," your nails dug into his arms, eyebrows knitting together as you continued to keep your focus on him. "Oh, my god."
He didn’t care if you left marks on him. Didn’t care if he showed up for class tomorrow smelling like your shampoo with crescent shaped scratches decorating his forearms– none of it mattered.
Nothing in his entire fucking life mattered right now except for the feeling of your walls wrapping around him as he entered you. Both of your bodies welcoming each other like they'd met in a past life with how perfectly they fit together.
He'd seen you from so many different angles in the years that he'd known you, but still– he couldn't help but think that he'd never seen you look quite this... beautiful. "Really, really beautiful"...
His hand grabbed onto the headboard for support as his thrusts intensified, steadily letting himself go deeper with each time he sank back into you.
He was thorough in studying your reactions, making sure that he knew exactly how hard and how fast to go until he'd developed a rhythm that worked for both of you.
"You feel," he hissed, eyes rolling back as you tightened around him. "So fucking good."
You wanted to return the sentiment but there were no words left in your head. Your vision was blurry; your back arching in a way that made both of you forget how to breathe.
"Megumi~!" you whined, "Keep doing that. Please, keep –ah– doing that... Right... There."
He'd always excelled in things fairly quickly, from academics to combat, his ability to learn and adapt came without much effort. But making you fall apart like this was something he wanted to know he had rightfully earned. He kept the same pace, his tip repeatedly knocking against a spot that had you inconsolably calling out his name.
"I –" you were practically shaking under him, nails lodged into his shoulder blade while you pulled him in as deep as your body would allow him to go. "Megumi - 'm–"
It took everything in him to not lose it right that very second.
"It's okay," he reminded you, "Fuck– it's okay... Let it out. I've got you."
Your lips desperately crashed into his, your walls suddenly acting as a vice-grip as you lost yourself to him completely. Neither one of you able to hold it together anymore when his forehead pressed against yours and your core began to unravel around his length. Spasming in a way that drew out the prettiest praises from him as he continued to hold you. His chest heaved, using the last drop of decency he had left to force himself to pull out of you.
He panted while he looked down at you, leaning over to kiss your forehead before letting himself collapse onto the mattress next to you. His mind somehow clearer and more dismantled than it'd ever been as he made one last life-altering decision for the night and reached out for you, gently repositioning the two of you so that your head was rested on his chest and his arms were wrapped around you.
Out of any thought that could've crossed his mind as he focused in on the melodic sound of your breathing, it was something that he'd heard years ago for some reason. A rare moment of somberness from an all-too familiar voice–
"Love," Gojo had said with his eyes cast down at an old friend, “is the most twisted curse of them all." He set a single flower atop the gravestone, letting a mid-summer rain trickle over them as he took Megumi’s hand in his and they stood together in contemplative silence.
Despite all of the loss he'd faced since then, he'd still never truly known the full weight of those words until now.
His fingers lightly traced along the curve of your back as he watched you drift off. Your body the only thing keeping him anchored to the room as the crippling reality of what he'd done settled into the space between you.
The beginning of the end.
° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
An internal war had been waged inside of Megumi after that night. His actions betraying his intentions at every chance they got. He'd been waking up in your bed some mornings, head pounding with only an exhausted and hazy recollection of how he'd ended up there in the first place. Your light fingertips dragging across his skin while you'd whisper sweet little nothings like, "you okay?" and "do you want me to stay with you?"
He was treading water, just barely keeping himself afloat as he tried his best to maintain all of the vastly different roles he'd been forced into over the last four months. His sleep schedule had become nonexistent, his days occupied with missions and his nights stolen by shameful secrecy. He was drained, in every single way imaginable.
There was some sort of cruel irony to it, he thought– how everything in his life was made up of you, both the good and the bad. The protecting and the withholding. They were both moving parts in an overarching plan, neither one able to exist without the other. He'd stay curled up in bed with you for as long as he possibly could, trying to permanently engrain the feeling of your arms wrapped around him into his memory.
"Has Maki said anything to you?" You asked, breaking his train of thought as the sun crept in through the window.
"Oh," his brow furrowed slightly, almost forgetting that she had even been a point of concern after the last week he'd had. "No. Why, has she said anything to you?"
He knew she hadn't.
As pissed as he'd been after what her and Toge had done, he'd still managed to keep things somewhat tactful for the sake of her not targeting you further. Usually, he would've taken his revenge out during training, but he wasn't willing to give her or any of the other third-years the reaction that they clearly wanted from him. Instead, he'd gotten up early the day that classes returned, leaving a note on her desk that simply read, "thanks for the late birthday present".
"No, she hasn't," you yawned, shifting as you stretched your arms above your head. "Kinda weird thought, isn't it? That it just blew over the way it did?"
"I wouldn't worry about it." He said, pressing a soft kiss against the side of your neck before letting you out of his grasp.
You paused before getting up though, hovering over him as you cupped his cheek with your hand. "You look tired." Your voice was soothing, nurturing. "You'll be done with this project soon, right?"
His stomach burned noticing the sense of worry that flickered over you as you brushed back the hair covering his eyes. "Yeah," he nodded, "not much longer."
"Promise?"
Time stilled, a lump that he hadn't felt in years suddenly forming in his throat as he ran his finger along the side of your face and forced himself to push past it.
"Promise."
° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .
The sky was bleak, a dull January shade of grey shrouded over the city as you checked over your shoulder before switching lanes. Though everyone in your group knew that something had happened between you and Megumi, no one ever brought it up when you were together.
Yuuji and Nobara would shoot you an occasional overzealous eyebrow raise when they'd catch him doing little things like quietly reaching for your hand while the four of you were walking or pecking your cheek when you'd leave for class, but they were smart enough to not comment on it in front of him. It was the first time they'd ever really seen him express his emotions in a healthy way and despite how many sappy jokes the two of them had readily loaded into their chambers, it was an unspoken agreement that they'd only ever fire them at you when he wasn't around.
"Up here," Megumi instructed, pointing to a rather empty looking cafe parking lot. "This is fine."
You could hear Nobara's sigh from the backseat as she secured her scarf around her neck while you pulled into the entrance. She'd learned to bundle up on the days that you drove them, Megumi still insisting that there needed to be at least a few blocks separating you from the actual location.
"See ya soon!" Yuuji called out over his shoulder as he closed his door, following behind an-already-shivering Nobara. "Oh, c'mon! It's not even that cold out– ow!"
You bit back a small laugh as you glanced at them from the rearview mirror; watching her swiftly kick the back of his leg, almost making him fall face first into the snow.
Megumi rolled his eyes at their building argument before leaning over from the passenger seat. The palm of his hand warm as it met the side of your neck. "Be safe." He said against your lips.
"You too."
A somber smile cut across his face, leaving one last kiss on your forehead before making his way back over to them.
The rest of your day was wide-open since Ijichi had scheduled time off and Yaga certainly wasn't going to pull any of the other faculty members away from their duties to come teach you the building blocks of financing.
You'd been heavily practicing the art of seeming-busier-than-you actually-were during your mission drop-offs. Using your on-call time to run errands or explore downtown, but the roads were far too icy to aimlessly drive around like you normally would. You clicked on your turn signal, hands practically glued to the steering wheel as you drove up the secluded winding road that led back Jujutsu High.
You held your hands to your face, using your breath to try and warm them as you stashed the car keys into your hoodie pocket and headed inside.
The halls were noticeably quiet, each classroom devoid from the chatter and chaos that usually filled them. Feeling like an outsider wasn't anything new, but it still hit you harder some days than others. Knowing that everyone else was out on assignment while you were about to change into some sweats and play on your phone felt... wrong somehow.
You rounded the corner to the dorms, your footsteps coming to an apprehensive pause as you saw Gojo waiting for you at the end of the hallway.
"There you are," he smirked, "got a minute?"
Your brow quriked as you nodded back at him, letting him go in first as you opened the door.
"I won't keep you long." He said, arms crossing over his chest as he bent down to look over Megumi's bookshelf, noting all of the non-fiction and textbooks that lined the shelves. "What a nerd." He mumbled under his breath.
You kicked off your shoes and took a seat on your bed, watching him sit across from you on Megumi's.
"Is... everything okay?" You hesitated, your mind suddenly shuffling through worst-case scenarios. It was a rare occasion that Gojo appeared and something good happened.
"Relax." He soothed, "I just wanted to catch up on some things with you."
You gave him another nod as he leaned forward, legs spread with his arms resting on top of them.
"How're you and Megumi?"
Your breath hitched in your throat, flashbacks of the last two weeks suddenly flooding through your head. "Oh," you stammered, "We're good. Things have gotten, um– better... since I've been here..."
The smirk that cut across his face made you want to throw yourself out the window.
"So I've heard," he mused, eyes still lingering around his side of the room. "Don't worry, I'm not here to ask about your love life."
Your mouth opened and then closed again, heat fanning across your face as you struggled to look back at him.
"He's okay though?" He pressed, straightening his posture a bit as he redirected his attention to you. "He's seemed... off the last few days. Tired, like he's barely slept. Surely you've noticed too– kid is very unpleasant to be around if he's not getting a full eight hours."
He shot you a slight smile, but you failed to return it, your chest tightening while your stare drifted from his.
Was this some sort of test?
His gaze sharpened, noting the trepidation that had taken over your features. "What's going on?" His voice was unnervingly serious as he leaned forward. "If something's wrong with him, I need you to tell me."
Was he trying to see if Megumi had confided in you about what they'd been working on?
"I –" You swallowed hard, trying to find your words. "I don't know much– anything, really about the project he's been helping you with, but... I think it's becoming a lot for him. Juggling classes and missions and that at night, I think... he's just getting overwhelmed with it all."
The silence that followed was damning, Gojo's shoulders visibly stiffening as he drew in a sharp breath.
"What project?"
── .✦ let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list for part three 𐙚
#megumi jujutsu kaisen#megumi x reader#megumi fushiguro#jjk megumi#megumi x female reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk
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𝑎 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑏𝑜𝑟𝑛 𝑖𝑛 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑠 𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑙𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡
summary: toji catches you before fainting, now he has to find shelter from the storm and make sure you’ll live through the night when your bleeding poses as a threat to your life.
note: heavily inspired by a scene from berserk (iykyk) toji as guts.
cw: period blood, fainting from cramps (very based on my experience as well), fingering, toji is not really gentleman. 3k words
oh no, not now, please
this can’t be happening
is this really what will kill me?
feels like an earplug, every sound is muffled. someone is shouting your name you think.
it’s so cold.
the colors start to fade, everything is turning black, the sky is…
toji runs toward you through the rain, when did you get so close to a cliff? why aren’t you fighting back?
he manages to throw a knife at the man closest to you, but when he thinks he’s close enough to grab your arm and pull you away from the cliff a bullet catches his shoulder, and instead of pulling you he loses balance and falls with you off the cliff.
in the last second you were still standing he could see you already lost consciousness, body tilting back. in the air he holds your body to his, determined to shield you from the impact on the water.
“fucking finally” he murmurs once he spots a cave, not too high on the mountain.
the heavy rain increased the flow of the river you both fell into, dragging you away from the fight but also far from any roads of civilization.
you and toji worked together at least a few times a month, having the same employers and complementary skills often you found each other hunting a cursed object, a weapon, or an enemy. yet given the fact that he was a so-called lone wolf even more often than that you fought each other, nothing too harmful, but extremely verbal and explosive.
“what the fuck, toji?! get the fuck out!” you shouted when he entered the communal shower a few days ago, you both were spending the night in an abandoned military base camp as part of a hunting mission, thankfully the place had water, cold but still. so you headed to the only shower room that could fit at least ten people, it was just a big room with shower heads, hooks and sinks. so when toji entered the place and started to undress you could only turn your body to the wall and scream at him.
“chill out, i don’t give a shit” he opened the furthest shower from you and got under it. both of you were filthy from the events that happened a few hours ago.
“but i do, i don’t want you to—“
“listen, i don’t even see you as a woman okay? so calm down i don’t get hard at any pair of tits.”
of all out the things toji said that made you mad in the past, that was the one thing that hurt you. you gathered your clothing and left the room, not even turning the shower off, before he could see your tears. you had to recompose yourself, you still had two days together…
toji places your limp body on the hard surface of the cave, making you almost sat, with your back against the wall and head falling to the side. he then looks back outside to see if someone followed you, it doesn’t seem like it but the storm is so strong he can’t see or hear much.
god, he’s soaked, there’s nothing he can take to make a bonfire for the two of you to warm up, everything out there is wet and there’s nothing but rocks inside the cave.
“what the fuck happened to you?” he comes close to your body inspecting your face first, it’s so pale like there was no blood underneath it, your lips have a blueish hue, he places two fingers in your neck, your heart rate is very slow and he thinks he never felt such cold skin, “you’re gonna kill me but i have to remove those clothes or you’ll die of hypothermia” he speaks like you can hear him.
he takes his shirt first, twisting the fabric and placing it flatly on a rock. now he sees the bullet that hit his shoulder only gaze it, ripping his skin but it doesn’t bleed anymore, just another scar he’ll get when it heals.
he turns to you, removing your tight black shirt first.
“what a day to not wear a bra huh?” he observes naturally but doesn’t stare, he moves to your pants that thankfully are loser. he tries not to peek at your body, so as soon as the material is out he also twists it but the reddish water that falls on the floor scares him.
“are you hurt? where?” he comes back to your body, now looking for the source of the blood, he sees it running down your thighs, he spreads your legs slightly only to find a darker red spot in the middle of your underwear, “christ” he sighs, so that’s what made you pass out… “not easy being a woman, huh?” he looks at your face again, now noticing the way some of your features twitch like you’re in pain, “you can kill me tomorrow for this, as long as you live.”
he pulls your soaked underwear down your legs, going outside in the rain for a minute to wash it in a puddle then spreading all your clothing to, hopefully dry out till morning. he’ll keep his pants, he’s not as cold as you, in fact he feels hot, the adrenaline running through his veins after jumping off a cliff for you, then dragging your limp body off the river and up the mountain cave. what a day.
but he can’t let his guard down now, the people you fought were strong, they had curses too so it wasn’t impossible that they track you down. thankfully, he took one sword with him down the cliff, at least he had that.
so he takes your body into his, putting it on top of his legs, one arm wrapped around you as the opposite hand holds the sword. he’s facing the river outside, keeping a watch for the enemy and you safe, in the hopes his body would warm yours. he doesn’t mind the blood that reaches his pants, he often has someone else’s blood on him anyway, at least this is yours and not a wound.
in fact if that’s the only kind of blood he’ll see for the rest of his life he’ll die a happy man.
he looks down at you, your head fell on his bicep, he can feel your skin warming up to his, he then looks at your chest, seeing it move slowly with your breathing. he’s man enough to not feel aroused for an unconscious, non-consenting woman, so he runs his hand on your arms, giving it some heat and looking outside.
whatever you try to do to him in the morning, he’ll take it. a slap, a punch, a stab… he looks at his sword, maybe he’ll hide it when you wake up. god, he has said so many things to you, it was all in the hopes of driving you away, he can’t afford to have someone in love with him in this line of work. it was easier to just let you think he would never…
he sleeps for no longer than a few hours, when he opens his eyes the sun is rising, no enemies on sight.
he feels so hot with your body on his, but you were still too cold. the rain had stopped apparently during the night, so he gently lays you down before heading out to catch some wood.
you wake up, yet your eyes remain closed, the sound is of fire cracking wood, it’s hot, warm like a blanket all over you, smells like wet mud and fish.
you open your eyes slowly, first you see the orange glow of fire, that’s what warms you, close to your head is him, sitting on the ground shirtless, turning the fish over the fire so it cooks evenly. some colored fabric is close to the warm light too.
you can understand what has happened, mainly because a sharp pain in your middle reminds you what an unlucky bastard you are to get your period and no cramps medication in the middle of a battle.
you pull your knees close to you to ease the pain, whining accidentally.
“hey” you hear his deep voice, you look down, there’s blood on inner your thighs. toji says something about your clothes and how they are still humid, “i didn’t touch you.”
you turn your back to the fire, a weak attempt to hide from him, “i know. you don’t see me as a woman” you repeat his words. the only pain you feel is in your womb, you try to remind yourself of that and ignore your heart.
“shouldn’t have said that” he murmurs, “here, eat some” you don’t turn, both your hands remain below your belly button, holding the place of pain in hopes it stops soon. when you don’t move toji reaches your mouth from behind you, his index and thumb hold a piece of the cooked fish and he puts it in your mouth.
you don’t like fish but you know if you attempt to raise to your feet now you will faint again, so you cooperate by opening your mouth.
“did’ya hear me? i didn’t mean what i said” he repeats and gives you another piece, after you take it, his hand touches your shoulder, “turn to the fire, you’ll get warmer” you shrink even more to yourself, “c’mere, you’re as cold as a corpse i don’t know what to do anymore” he manhandles you till you’re facing the fire again, with your head on his thigh, you don’t fight, there’s no strength in you.
you watch as he blows a piece of the fish then pushes it as gently as he’s able to, into your mouth again.
indeed the direct warmth of the fire on your belly makes you feel better.
“how can you handle that every month is beyond me” he confesses taking a big bite of the fish.
“there’s a medicine, it helps, but this wasn’t supposed to happen till the 22nd.”
“today is the 23rd” he reminds.
“oh… i guess i lost track of time.”
“so troublesome” he runs his hand on your head.
is this a fever dream? no, you’re too cold to have a fever. you turn your head to him, “you fell… with me, but you were not beside me” the memory is coming to you now.
“not initially, no.”
“then why?”
“do i need a reason to keep you from dying?” his green eyes look down at you like you’re asking the most stupid question, you feel attacked by it and he notices, “’m sorry, i just saw you were about to fall then that fucking bullet hit and—“ he cut himself seeing your eyes widen.
you sit up slowly, “where?” you place your hands on his arm, there’s so many healed scars… when he turns his torso you see it, the torn skin on his shoulder.
“you always get hurt because of me” you touch the area around it, remembering a time he saved you and got a bloody nose or when an arrow got his leg when he got in front of you.
“i can take it” he looks down at your concerned face with tenderness, a new wave of pain hits you and you contort your face, instinctively he puts his hand on your lower back “did you ever try to—“ he stops.
you look up with teary eyes, “try to what?” he thinks he’ll lose his sanity at any moment “oh” you look away, “i heard about that but no” you feel very aware of the hand on your hand, he flexes it slightly, like bed debating what to say next.
“i can do it for you” you lift your eyes to his chest but no more than that. he has so many scars…
“no, it’ll hurt, and you’ll get blood all over” your hand is still on his shoulder when you move to a particular scar on his collarbone, his breathing gets heavier, his body is so hot, how is it possible that standing close to him you feel warmer than standing close to the fire?
“doesn’t bother me, and i can be gentle” you are very aware you’ve been naked this whole time, there’s no point trying to hide your arousal when he can quite literally see your hardened nipples.
“fine” you murmur so low you think he’ll make you speak louder, but he picks you and puts you on his lap sideways, he’s so big that even though you’re sitting on his legs his head is still above yours. toji has an arm around you, a hand placed on your ass cheek more to keep you steady on his lap than to grope it. his other one brushes your knee and he looks down to the path that it traces up your thigh till it goes down to touch your wet folds.
you can’t hold the sign of pleasure that escapes your lips. it’s all so sensitive this time of the month… your breathing becomes deeper, your womb is still in pain, but the arousal starts to make its way through you. toji pokes at your hole, testing the waters, he knows he can make you wetter than this.
he’s quite impressed at how hot your core is, given the fact you were cold as a corpse every minute he wasn’t holding you.
his middle finger makes its way inside you little by little, he can’t help the little whistle of amusement, “that’s quite tight, are you a virgin or just nervous?” he teases turning to look at your face.
“neither” you look away squirming a little, toji nudges your knee for you to open your legs more as he stares at it.
“don’t look!” you close your thighs around his wrist.
“why not? it’s very beautiful” he looks almost hypnotized when he pulls out his tinted glossy finger.
“can we just get it over with?” the embarrassment starts to hit you, maybe cause the racing heartbeats send more blood to your brain now and you can comprehend the situation better.
toji looks at your face again, seeing some color on it for the first time since getting here.
“stay put or i’ll stop” he readjusts you on his lap by pulling you by your ass cheek, his middle finger flickers your clit spreading some of the arousal before finding itself back into you.
“what you doing?” you ask with you hands on his shoulder when his head going down to your chest, wrapping his lips around one nipple.
“enjoying myself a little” he replies before licking the areola and adding his ring finger, you throw your head back, hitting the wall of the cave but paying no mind, finally the pleasure starts to replace the pain. toji is careful, you hate to admit but he does it in a. way that you know he’s not afraid to touch you, he’s using just the right amount of strength and roughness for a woman whose body is more sensitive than usual. his teeth scrap the tip of your nipple casually making you whimper like a whore and when he finds the spongy spot inside you your toe fingers curl and you dig your nails into the skin of his arm and back. toji wonders if you are being mindful of his wound or if you’re too lost in pleasure to remember it. truly, he doesn’t care if you crave your nails directly at it, in fact he hopes you do. at least one of his scars will have your name on it, it’ll be his proudest one.
“right there ahn” you moan louder than you thought you would, heels digging into the stone floor.
by the way toji sucks your breast he wants to leave a mark on you, something physical but he wouldn’t mind if it was a psychological one as well. he wonders how will you remember this day, if you’ll touch yourself on the memory or if you’ll hate it and try to erase it out of your mind.
he pumps faster, going deeper each time until he’s knuckles deep. hate or not, he’s determined to give you the orgasm of your life as the heel of his palm bumps on your clit and his tongue plays with your nipple. your walls spasm around his digits and his eyes widen when he feels your lips on his shoulder, an attempt to quiet yourself down. toji wants to remind you that there’s no one around here and the worst your moans will do is scare the spiders inside the cave, yet he shuts himself up cause he likes the feeling of your lips on his skin.
you’re about to climax, he speeds up slightly peeking at your face to see your eyes tightly closed, goosebumps arise at the skin of your breasts, he gives it soft bites as you ride your orgasm till the end. your legs get limp and you’re panting on his chest as he readjusts himself up, softly he removes his fingers and circles your clit causing you to hiss.
“i assume you’re pain-free now?” he keeps the ministrations, the post-orgasmic look in your face is museum-worthy. you nod slowly, face glistening with sweat.
as your senses return to you, you realize that a hard member is poking you from below this whole time.
“say toji, have you ever fucked a woman in her period?” toji seems to study your face before replying.
“ask me what you really wanna know” he demands, not willing to play the women’s games of asking about other women.
“would you fuck me?” his eyes are so dark looking from below like you are.
“i would” he replies with his face unfazed. you think this will be the moment then until he gets up with you and shifts you to place your feet on the floor, “but not today. can you stand up?” you blink the shock away.
“yes” he leaves you to go through the clothing by the fire, picking it up along with his sword.
“let’s go, you can clean up by the river, then we’ll try to find our way back to the city” he hands you his own shirt that will be good enough to cover your intimacy till you get to the river, then you can put your own clothes.
“toji?” you touch his arm before he leaves the cave to guide you, he turns thinking you’ll faint again.
you tiptoe your way till you touch his lips with yours, his eyes remain open, shocked you wanted to do such a thing as kissing the man who took off your clothing when you were unconscious. in toji’s mind, he’ll always be bad in other people’s eyes no matter what his intentions are, so to realize you don’t in fact hate him, is astonishing. you even pull his lower lip lightly and peck him before putting your heels back on the floor and leaving the cave.
he watches as you make your way down slowly since your feet are bare, he follows you to the river and stays on watch waiting for you to finish bathing.
when you put your clothing back you catch his stare upon you, which he holds for a few seconds before shifting somewhere else, not at all embarrassed to be caught.
you find your way out without talking any further, though now the aura around the two of you is lighter, nothing has to be said.
#toji x reader#toji smut#toji x you#toji fushiguro ff#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro#toji jjk
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