gojira-san

[gojira-san]

[gojira-san]

me: uh oh! if i fail to block any more of these spells, the evil wizard will take over my mind and make me suck him off!!! i need to be careful, i can feel it working already...

the evil wizard trying to blow my head off with lightning bolts: that's not what I'm trying to do

[gojira-san]

You can be talking to someone and she'll be like, "Oh I made a silly mistake. Women don't deserve voting rights teehee." And you'll be like, "What." And she'll be like, "Oh I'm sorry! That must sound so bad out of context. No it's this Tiktok meme where, if you're a girl and you do something dumb, you say 'Women don't deserve voting rights teehee.'"

And you'll be like, "That sounds bad." And she'll be like, "No no. It's totally not that bad. It's just a meme. Men say it too. Like if a man does something silly he'll be like, 'I am like those women who do not deserve to vote.'" And you'll be like, "Does that make it better?" And she'll be like, "Well there was one guy who tried to make 'Men shouldn't vote' a popular meme. But it never caught on and also he got yelled at a lot."

And then you drop it there because like, you're harshing the vibe.

[gojira-san]

do you guys think jesus was hung

[gojira-san]

yessssss girl need to smoke with this bot

[gojira-san]

youre never alone. bacteria

[gojira-san]

if someone offers to blow u "alligator style" be warned they will be death rolling your dick clean off so only say yes if ur into that ok

[gojira-san]

The fun thing about picking up a cat from the street is that they know a negative amount of rules and will commit entirely new crimes

[gojira-san]

Sometimes I love the internet, actually. Incomprehensibly huge place but also so small. Saw a video on Instagram where Crayola was announcing they’re coming out with a box with some limited edition previously retired colors, including Dandelion. This video had hundreds of comments and almost all of them where “omg where’s the dandelion crayon girl she’s going to be so happy” and it was such an unimportant thing, but it was just cute

[gojira-san]

i enjoy this particular genre of creature

[gojira-san]

my family wasn't this strict, but in some sects of buddhism you're not allowed to eat the "five pungent vegetables", onions garlic shallots leeks and umm chives i think, really any of those kind of vegetables. probably some monk ages ago was tired of onion farts stinking up the temple. anyways, one time my brother made a soup using all five of them. he said, "one sip of this, and you'll be reincarnated as a flea."

[gojira-san]

[gojira-san]

[gojira-san]

having weather sensitive migraines with other local friends who also get migraines does sometimes make a group of people act like we can feel an evil miasma spreading over the land because antichrist has just been born. but like every week. we are texting each other like yeah i feel bad plus all of the homunculi i made have exploded and all my mirrors turned to opaque red glass like upright pools of blood and the other person will text back like wow that's bad! sounds like i should head on over to mcdonald's for fries and a coke

[gojira-san]

[gojira-san]

the trick for enjoying a new video game is avoiding the internet’s opinion on it