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i hate the idea that people look at me and think “woman” before “person”. like i am a woman but i’m a person. it’s not that i hate being a woman it’s that i hate what it means. please see me. i hate that it means being stripped of personhood. i don’t want people to meet me and think that i’m “nice” i want them to think that im smart or funny or interesting or rude. real human character traits. anything besides “nice” anything besides “woman”

whenever my friends do a little fancast type thing for our friendgroup and i get cast as the girl character. you know the one. the girl character. i genuinely spiral a bit because the two things i want to be the least in the world are Nice and Boring. i wish i was funny or sexy or something. just anything other than the stock standard girl character

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whenever my friends do a little fancast type thing for our friendgroup and i get cast as the girl character. you know the one. the girl character. i genuinely spiral a bit because the two things i want to be the least in the world are Nice and Boring. i wish i was funny or sexy or something. just anything other than the stock standard girl character

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i think there is just a part of me that gets full of deep seething anger whenever im talking to a group of people who all really like a media that i haven’t seen or can’t watch for whatever reason. it makes me feel like a little girl again and everyone at the lunch table is talking about a show that im not allowed to watch and i feel like i’ll never ever fit in with them because im being kept separate from the rest of the world in my little christian fundamentalist bubble. and i think i get super extra angry when i watch this thing everyone talks about and it’s not even good or i don’t care about it at all. it makes me feel shameful like i should like it but there’s something broken in me. it’s all just way too serious for being such a small thing

god i dont know why my brain loves to get so irritated and hung up on the most random things that movie from last night was so fucking boring it actually pissed me off and im still getting irritated about it today even though it literally does not matter in any way at all and i will never have to watch it again

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i never used to be this angry

god i dont know why my brain loves to get so irritated and hung up on the most random things that movie from last night was so fucking boring it actually pissed me off and im still getting irritated about it today even though it literally does not matter in any way at all and i will never have to watch it again

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god i dont know why my brain loves to get so irritated and hung up on the most random things that movie from last night was so fucking boring it actually pissed me off and im still getting irritated about it today even though it literally does not matter in any way at all and i will never have to watch it again

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every night this week has been like as soon as my boyfriend goes to bed i stay up for hours thinking about death or trauma while rotating in bed because i cannot fall asleep

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i hate that clothing store sizes aren’t standardized what do you mean your xxs is size 2-4 and that’s the smallest you offer

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like literally why did he have to be meanies

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it feels like there is two versions of me. sometimes i am current me and im living my life and the stuff that happened in high school is a million years away but other times i am still 16 and everything is still happening and im so so disconnected from my current life that it feels like a daydream. fucking time travel

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like all of the allegations against those guys were terrible but the gnf one really really gets me because it is so similar to the kind of thing M would do to me. it’s the kind of thing where people don’t see it as being “that bad” and say stuff about how she should have said something or whatever. but they don’t realize how much of a nightmare situation it is to be violated in such a public way

i hope gnf dies i hope he burns up and dies in a fire for what he did to caitie

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being in a situation where some guy is touching you and you don’t want it and it’s in front of everyone, including your friends and no one notices that you’re uncomfortable or that you don’t want this fucking guy touching you and you’re too scared to tell him to stop because you’re in front of everybody and telling him to stop means that you have to acknowledge that it’s happening and bring everyone’s attention to it and you and the idea of that is so so painfully embarrassing that you would rather just endure. well it’s the fucking worst. it’s the fucking worst i hope he dies

i hope gnf dies i hope he burns up and dies in a fire for what he did to caitie

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i hope gnf dies i hope he burns up and dies in a fire for what he did to caitie

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idk if it’s because ive become a lot less chronically online and lonely in the last year but everything he’s been posting in the past few months has been pissing me off. like there’s a few things i (partially) disagree with but for the most part it’s stuff i theoretically agree with but he words everything in such a condescending and annoying tone

every time *** ******** posts recently i’ve been so glad that our plans to meet up that one time fell through because god it would NOT have gone well

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every time *** ******** posts recently i’ve been so glad that our plans to meet up that one time fell through because god it would NOT have gone well

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woke up feeling so sad today

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liking my online friends more than my real life ones sucks so badly every time i hang out with an irl im like damn i wish i was in a discord vc rn. which is so lame

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everything i own is too revealing or doesn’t fit properly cuz my tits are too small and i can’t even put a shirt on underneath to make it work because it’s warm today so what if i just killed myself

mood has crashed badly while getting ready to go out with a friend because none of my warm weather dresses looked good on me today so now im wearing the same fuckass jeans and sweatshirt i wear all the time and i don’t even want to go out anymore