goatmealcrisp

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On Taxes

My Father: HST is just a money grab. There’s a reason why, in the Maritimes, they call the Blended Sales Tax the BS Tax.

Me: Because Conservatives love puns?

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Life

Who I think I am...

Who I really am...

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Sometimes...

... it’s about the tweets you DON’T make.

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Poem About Friendship

“Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are an asshole, And I am too.”

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World Dryer Limited

For when you want a hand dryer that’s also a fucking asshole.

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I’ve Hit the Wall

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A Contrast in Approaches

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My Weekend Will Be Spent

16 hours sleeping. 3 hours eating. 3 hours watching sports programs. 8 hours playing Skyrim for some reason. 12 hours doing dick-all on the internet for some reason. 6 hours doing 2 major assignments due the following week.

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TFW you eat 2 Fig Newtons, just cuz.

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I didn’t choose this thug life.

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When you’re deadpan AF and your chums have no idea.

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An Excerpt From my Future Biography

“As he fussed endlessly over the haircut for his Fallout character, Matthew realised his plans to avoid the game until school was done were somewhat unrealistic...”

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“You Can’t Do This Assignment Overnight”

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A Pair of Slacks

Seize the day, ladies and gentlemen!

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I tried to ask....

... but I missed the application deadline, so I’m fucked.

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Gitomer

More like Shitomer, right?

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TFW Some Motherfucker Takes the AirMax