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[go-ask-klaus]

Reopening Submissions

Good day everyone, it is so good to see you again,

As Christmas grows ever nearer again, I’d like to let you know that Ask submissions will be reopening for the rest of the month for you to ask me, Klaus, any question you would like to be answered.

Just a quick refresher on the rules;

Any subject accepted, personal or not

I answer most questions. Please don’t be offended if I choose not to answer one, however

I will try my best to be honest

Reoccurring questions may not be answered. Just look back a bit.

Anonymous accepted

Send me whatever you want, everything is open

Expect to be answered between one and three days

This is a no judgement zone

No fighting, children

Leave your name if you would like to be personally addressed. If not, you will stay anonymous.

Happy asking and merry Christmas,

Klaus

[go-ask-klaus]

“Buy Christmas gifts earlier this year” aaaah, speaking from experience here? Did Someone you have made friends with turn out to be a tricky giftee?

Dear Anonymous,

What does one buy the boy that has everything? It was a lot more difficult than I was expecting and yes, perhaps I should have planned ahead. I’m not getting any better either. Any suggestions? Have a think and let me know.

Fro m, Klaus

[go-ask-klaus]

Okay, we need to know: .... do you even LIKE cookies and milk or is that a Jesper thing?

Dear Anonymous,

I adore sweet things. Who doesn’t? But I don’t like them nearly as much as Jesper does! He always gets the sweet things, and he likes milk more than me. We don’t get that much in Smeerensburg.

But if you leave out milk and cookies they will most likely be eaten by Jesper.

Regards, Klaus

[go-ask-klaus]

Hey mr. Klaus, I hope you have a great new year's and hope this year ended good for you. Lord knows my year wasn't the best. It was starting good till it went to worse after I finished high school. But I'm gonna try to be optimistic for the next year! Do you have any advice before the new year began? It's cool if you can't think of any, I know this is last minute, but it makes me happy to see your answers. From, Amy

Hello Dear Amy,my New Year's Eve celebration was just lovely. Plenty of alcohol and festivities, celebration and dancing. I've usually spent my evenings alone but this time I'm lucky enough to have a family after all these years wasted.

The nice thing about a new year and especially a new decade means you get a fresh start. I'm a firm believer that you don't need to wait until the new year to make changes in your life, but it's a good place to do so if needed. For example, I've made this my year to make my own clothing.

As advice goes, I don't believe I'm the best person to ask but I'm happy to try even if it gets a little political.

A lot of people profit off of your insecurities. Don't let them. Not liking your body or the thickness of your hair or the collection of your scars is only going to fuel a corporation run by people who couldn't care less about you. Sometimes you have to think a little selfishly and decide that you don't need to impress others that wont put in the effort to get to know your head over your figure.

This new year, wear bright colours and let your mood brighten with them. Focus on doing what you can in smaller pieces like donating to food banks or choosing to make your wardrobe sustainable and environmentally friendly. Learn a skill. Take up wood carving, lino printing, weaving, furniture restoration and when searching for a job, tell yourself to have the confidence to believe you'll get it and that will imprint onto others. And start buying Christmas gifts early this year. But only for people that enrich your life.

Love, Klaus

[go-ask-klaus]

I've been wondering, I assume that you used to spend most of your time up in your home before the entire toy delivery thing started, but how often did you actually visit town? You do seem like someone who is capable of providing for himself mostly by himself, but I doubt it would be possible to rely on that completly. Did you get into town once a week? A month? How do the kids react now that you have basically become somewhat aid a legend to them when they see you?

Dear Anonymous,

I didn't want to get involved with the toxicity of the town so I left as rarely as possible. Perhaps once every two months or around about that. I would get water filtration, metal pieces, string and rope, only the things that I couldn't make myself. I cut down on cost and weight by making my own paint and finding my own wood. I got my own food and my clothes have lasted me faithfully so I minimised my journeys by a lot.

I had to travel by foot which was a hell of a journey, only to get there and be pegged as a Krum and get shit from everyone else. Luckily not a lot of people want to risk messing with someone of my size.

Nowadays I get to go there even less. Friends bring me whatever I need, however I’ll stay a couple nights a week in the town to drink and be merry, usually in celebration after Christmas and stay at the boathouse with mogens or in the Post Office with Jesper. I helped patch up the roof and block out all the draughts, so it’s quite a pleasant place to stay now.

Kids don’t typically recognise me unless I’m with Jesper. He flaunts me from time to time and the kids go ballistic when they catch on and have started to recognise me more frequently and easily now. It’s adorable. I love them. I can’t begin to express my adoration for the sweet things and I really should go out more, but they like the secrecy so I keep it on the down low.

Regards, Klaus

[go-ask-klaus]

Can you and jesper speak any other language? From, Ana

Dear Ana,

Jesper's native tongue is Danish and we both have taken on a lot of Sami in order to communicate with our friends. We are no where near fluent in that, however. I’m rather good with Norwegian and have been picking up a few other pieces as a result of our global mission. If you know a good way to learn, let me know.

Love, Klaus

[go-ask-klaus]

Can Jesper cook/baking? Or knows the basics?

Dear Anonymous, 

God no. No. He cannot cook to save his life. He doesn't know a single thing, he's always had things done for him in the past. I cook for us. I make a nice stew and bread and everything we need. I have tried to teach him before but it typically doesn't go down so well - how does one burn a spoon? It will forever confuse me. He could probably burn water.

From, Klaus.

[go-ask-klaus]

hello dear Klaus!!! i hope you're having a fantastic day!! my apologies if this question is a bit invasive, yet do you and Jesper have "pet names" for one another? perhaps things similar to dear, or sweetheart, or love. things like that. regardless, i would certainly be interested in hearing! i hope you have an absolutely fantastic December, Klaus! -sincerely, arthur

Dear Arthur,

Hello there. my day is going just fine. Between us, we have rather a few. I enjoy calling Jesper a few things. Our friends will hear me call him; my love, my heart, dearest, sweetness, darling and occasionally in slight more 'raunchy situations', Jezebel. Sounds like Jesper but a little more...feminine? He mostly just calls me Klaus or occasionally honey-bunny for some bizarre reason.

Have a merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, Arthur. 

Regards, Honey-bun

[go-ask-klaus]

Does Jesper's father ever sent you guys any letters? To see how your doing or what Jesper's been up to?

Dear Anonymous,

Oh, he sure does. In a pressed and ironed blue envelope with a stamp and a smooth wax seal and the most immaculate cursive writing I've ever seen. Incredibly formal. Always asking Jesper how he is, how the post office is doing, if he needs any funding for anything, how the whole 'Christmas' thing is going on. Usually the same things over and over but you can tell that he cares and its better than nothing. Jesper keeps them all on a shelf. A little stacked up row of blue, propped up with a little book stop I made for him. That’s just for Jesper though. He sends me a little hello in the same letter.

Regards, Klaus

[go-ask-klaus]

Does Jesper talk about his Dad when he comes back from his travels? If so, how's he doing?

Dear Anonymous,

In transparent honesty Jesper talks a lot more about the food. He’s very used to his pampered lifestyle. He never stops talking about fruit while we done even come close to touching around these parts. 

As far as I know, his father misses him. They’re so used to living in the same house and now they’re countries apart. Apart from that I assume he’s healthy enough. I’m sure I’ll find out when I go to visit in a few months.

Regards, Klaus.

[go-ask-klaus]

Dear All

Hello to all,

I hope wherever you are and whoever you are you are having a lovely holiday. 

Christmas is what me and everyone I know work for all year around just to see smiles where there were none before and to bring light where the snow covers all.

The ask box is always open. You may always message me  Be merry and eat well and merry Christmas to everyone.

[go-ask-klaus]

Mr klaus! I hope your confortable in me asking this but does jesper easily get intimidated or even scared with your size compared to his? Also merry christmas eve!

Dear Anonymous,

At first? Of course!

Oh he was terrified, especially when we first met. I’m glad you asked, because I love to talk about it but Jesper never allows the topic to come up for very long. He gets embarrassed so easily. 

Sweet thing. 

Yes, so far in the relationship size has been a very noticeable trouble. He no longer is scared unless I sneak up on him but initially I can confirm he was scared out of his mind when he just started becoming acquainted. 

Intimidation may be a little featured in situations where I want an upper hand. For example most recently when fighting over who should go outside in the snow to check on the deer, or when squabbling over the last chocolate in the box, 

I made him have it.

merry Christmas my love, Klaus

[go-ask-klaus]

Hello! If you don't mind me asking, what instruments (that you know of) does Jesper play?

Dear Anonymous, 

Jesper plays the violin (fiddle) and the piano, and a sneaky little bit of (I think this is how you spell it), ‘ukuleyley.’ He learned that from some visiting travellers, the others he was taught from childhood. He likes the stringed ones the most which is difficult because I haven’t quite figured out how to make them sound good as all the strings I have sound ugly. I’ll ask him to bring some strings back when he goes home for a visit again. I really do want to make my own for him, not just the half-broken ones he can find in junk shops. He deserves the best and I can’t wait to hear it.

Curious, Klaus

[go-ask-klaus]

Mr. Klaus I’m sorry if this is a bad subject but I know your late wife Lydia loves birds. I actually do too, my favorite is either the Shoebill or Ptarmigan! If she did have a favorite, what would you say that bird was? Pleasure, Birdie Bub

Dear Birdie Bub,

I seem to recall she’s rather a fan of doves, pigeons and ducks. I don’t know the longer names of them, I don’t know a lot about birds other than whatever she told me.

I think her favourite is the Snow Bunting. She often talked of stroking them and giving a little cuddle.

I love your enthusiasm for birds. She would like you. Keep it up.

Love, Klaus

[go-ask-klaus]

Cats or dogs?

Dear Anonymous, 

I have always had much of a preference for dogs, and they are easy to come by around here. However the risk of the job has left poor Jesper a little shaken by them quite easily and is startled by the littlest growl. If we were to get one or the other, I’d like a dog but a cat would be more practical given the situation.

Regards, Klaus

[go-ask-klaus]

Uhm, sorry if this is invasive but which one of you is the top?

Dear Anonymous, 

You are not the first to ask. 

I will say that there is a role of versatility. If talking about topping in purely dominance sense, don’t listen to Jesper. It’s me. He likes to boast his powers of seduction over a towering woodsman but everyone that knows him knows he falls apart at even the slightest change of tone.

However through a little experimentation we both dabble in all things. I will say that at least. I’m sure Jesper would hate it if I described how he liked to bury his face in my hair and insists he do me from behind because he says he prefers it but I know it’s because he gets rather red in the face and he’s embarrassed by it. 

But generally I like to take care of Jesper and he enjoys being taken care of. Nothing more nothing less. It’s simply how things work out between us. 

Curious, Klaus

[go-ask-klaus]

What do you think about the Ferry man (I think his name was Morgen)? I know that he teased Jesper in the beginning, but do you think their now good friends? He doesn't seemed like the type to start a fight or wanted so much trouble..

Dear Anonymous,

We like Mogens a lot. 

He’s very good at winding Jesper up, but with me and sometimes Alva around to dilute him down we can have a nice time together. Jesper and him get along fine with a little bit of alcoholic influence. I can tell you more but Jesper wouldn’t like that. He never fights and makes up a refreshing neutral party between Ellingboe and Krum.  I find him amusing and he’s a perfect drinking partner and (don’t tell) a wonderful hugger and is steadily becoming a part of the family.

Good day, Klaus