glowwormz

[glowwormz]

what if she was called chappell bone and instead of a singer she was a necromancer who raised strong as fuck skeleton warriors

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[glowwormz]

Has not eaten in two minutes

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How i look when I see a loud noise

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[glowwormz]

I once got detention because my 3rd grade teacher refused to accept the existence of omnivores… said that there were only two kinds kinds of animals herbivores and carnivores and when I sought clarification about omnivores (something I knew existed) she assured me that such things didn’t exist to which I asked “okay, then, what are humans if not omnivores?” Which resulted in me getting detention for “calling my teacher an animal”

when i was a kid i got a 90% on my kindergarten "what are your favorite things?" test because for the question "what is your favorite animal?" i wrote down "puma" and it got marked wrong because my teacher said a puma isnt even an animal its a kind of shoe

[glowwormz]

went to my best friend’s house last night and saw a little plushie dog and plushie cat that had been sewn together down the middle into a two-headed chimera. I said, “did you do that?” she said, “yes, I saved them.”

turns out at her old job when the last two plushies hadn’t sold and became deadstock, her boss told her to cut them up and throw them out. so she cut them each in half, preserved their heads, and then rebuilt them together.

cannot stop thinking about the way these little plushies were approached with the instinct of a Vampire or some sort of ancient god. “Let me save you [turn you into a monster].”

[glowwormz]

the one thing thing funnier than this caption is that the only reason they stopped doing it was that the ferret shit in the tube

[glowwormz]

Anyone who has worked a real job knows the look of someone standing there looking at something that's gonna fuck up their afternoon

[glowwormz]

Otra víctima el Chupacabra

[glowwormz]

The paradox of tolerance is only a paradox if you think of tolerance as some sacred and unconditional moral duty. Some ultimate and absolute law with no exceptions, and if you ever slip into the sin of intolerance, you must repent yourself and beg for forgiveness. Yeah no fuck that. Tolerance is a social contract. You're in the game as an equal player for as long as you play by the same rules as everyone else, and if you don't, your ass is fucking out. You're not entitled to the same respect you won't give others.

"Oh so you all tolerate each other just because you tolerate each other, but if I want to destroy you, then all of a sudden you want to destroy me?" Literally yes. That's the gist of it. What's not clicking. This equation is so simple it barely counts as math.

[glowwormz]