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DEVON AOKI as Miho Sin City (2005, dir. Frank Miller)

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Sin City (2005)

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Do you have any money/ budgeting tips??

My major money tip would definitely be to get advice from an expert and not me (and not youtubers or 'gurus' for that matter, although SOME can occasionally have decent advice)

However here some basic tips that I love, that are tried and tested:

50/30/20 rule: 50% of your income towards needs, 30% towards wants and 20% towards savings

Work on your credit score

With that being said, eliminate debt

Start investing early, especially in real estate and bonds

Dabble with stocks once you feel confident

SAVE, SAVE, SAVE

Spend to save, invest in good quality items that don't break easily

Compound interest is your best friend

Read financial books, no, unlike what the cover and blurb say these books will not make you a millionaire but can help improve your financial literacy and gain knowledge, especially when you are starting out

Start multiple sources of income

Many of them can be passive income

Don't rely only on your salary

Always have an emergency fund that is at least 10x your monthly salary

Record every purchase

Always look for better deals and wait for sales

Spend your money on things that matter, more on memories and experiences and less on items that you may not like in a year or 2 or 5

Hope this helped!

Serena

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2022 Goal Crushing Challenge

Now that I’m swinging back in action with free challenges, workout plans, goal plans and such…. Why don’t we start off on the right foot. It’s time to crush your goals and this challenge will force you to get on track whether you like it or not. 

Pick Three Yearly Goals

The Hardest

The Quickest

The Most Important

Once you’ve picked out those three goals, on a sheet of paper write them down along with a list of tasks that need to be completed to reach them.

Example: If your goal is to reach B1 level in Korean ; You may need to finish all levels of TTMIK, Watch 10 KDramas, and Read 20 books ! 

Be specific, write down the small details of each goal. For example, if I were to have korean for a goal and i needed to read 20 books, have ALL 20 books listed out. And every level of TTMIk would be listed (not the lessons in this case but in many you will)

Once you’re done this is the order you’ll be doing things in for the next month. This is not going to be easy, in any way shape or form, but you will make progress on your goals.

This challenge is laid out in days 1 - 7 and will be applicable throughout the rest of the challenge. 

DAY 1:

Complete four tasks from your hardest goal

Complete one task from your quickest goal

Complete three tasks your most important goal

DAY 2:

Complete one task from your hardest goal

Complete five tasks from your quickest goal

Complete two tasks from your most important goal

DAY 3:

Set a timer for 2 hours and get as many tasks for your most important goal as you can done (30 minutes on, 5 minute break)

DAY 4:

Complete five tasks for your hardest goal

Complete one task for your quickest goal

Complete one task for your most important goal

DAY 5:

Set a 2 hour timer, finish one task from each goal, repeat (30 minutes on, 5 minute break)

DAY 6: 

Complete 5 tasks for your quickest goal

Complete one task for your most important goal

DAY 7:

Set a 1 hour timer for each goal, in those three hours, complete as much as you can

Enjoy <3 - Queen

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Don't allow yourself to get attached without a 'requirements for my attachment' list.

The list can just be in your head, but it's best if you write it down. Especially if you're new to FDS and are struggling to not get attached quickly.

To avoid being exploited and hurt, you need to train yourself to not get attached without basic expectations and requirements being met, screening standards being met.

For example, a list can be...

\- He doesn't pressure me or coerce me for sex. He is letting me control the pace of intimacy.

\- Over time, I have observed that he is a decent person, who is responsible, honest, empathetic and knows right from wrong.

\- We have discussed our goals, values, what we are looking for, if we are compatible or not.

\- He treats me with respect. He respects my time, energy, efforts.

\- He is a good communicator-- he listens to me and can also express his own feelings/thoughts.

\- He is high effort, shows high interest consistently.

\- etc

This way, you are actually assessing his real character, you're not just imagining things in your head and projecting positive qualities onto him based on superficial actions. Be analytical about it, don't allow emotion to interfere with your screening. Also, train yourself to slowly get attached-- like at first you just like him as a person, you respect him as a person, you think he might have potential, and so on. Don't look at 1 thing he did, and decide that he is trustworthy now and it's safe to get attached. Be vigilant and give yourself time to screen. Most men will show you either their ass or their true colors before 1 month. Others will take a few months longer, but it's rarely ever longer than that. And in this time, also date other men-- don't get attached to one person simply because you're only talking to one person. Men have backup women, so you should do the same.

Don't do the typical thing-- where you meet some random guy off of an app (and are therefore used to having uncomfortable interactions with random men, unable to use your intuition to screen), have drinks on a low effort date, have sex quickly. That will lead to becoming attached very quickly, you will most likely be exploited, hurt and the cycle will continue-- if you don't change how you approach dating. So this all goes hand-in-hand-- avoid low effort dates, avoid drink dates, avoid dating apps if possible-- these things all lead to premature, dangerous early attachment.

Your attachment should be hard to earn, it should be a prize for a man who is worthy of your attachment. Sex is the #1 reason why women get attached before they understand a man's true character. Alcohol and loneliness are close seconds. Avoid having sex before thoroughly screening, avoid alcohol and avoid loneliness. Don't let yourself get easily attached to any random Tom, Dick or Butthead. If you've been the type that follows "chemistry" and "sparks" as your main screening criteria-- learn to undo that conditioning, because you will likely get into a lot of trouble if you're screening primarily through sexual chemistry or sparks. Strengthen your self-preservation instinct, ask yourself, why should a random guy, who I don't even know is a decent person or not, who I don't even know is lying to me or not-- get my attachment?

More men than not will take advantage of your attachment, always remember that.

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When was the last time you finished what you started?

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Tea Tuesday

Using up leftover snippets of origami paper to create new work. Aptly, a geisha series seemed like a suitable fit.

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Born And Raised In Kagurazaka

Yumie was born in 1946 in the quaint neighborhood of Kagurazaka in Tokyo. At the time half of the city had been burned to the ground by air raids by the United States Army Air Force. A devastating sight was left over in the single most destructive bombing in human history and with this a moral low felt throughout the population. A grey and hopeless world, hurled into despair. A time where no color was to be found except in the little things, the little brightness of everyday. Only in the stillness of the night, only in the perfect balance of harmony of everyday happiness, and only accessible to those with the luxury of an open mind. Here a living, breathing flower would be born into. And she would thrive.

Some time would pass until the great city of Tokyo would find its economic growth. But once it did, it never looked back. And the city too would thrive, Independent of the sacrifices of its inhabitants.

The following decades were marked by a radical "rebranding" of the country. From being the enemy of the US and its allies, Japan tried in many ways to emulate the western model. By experiencing an unprecedented economic boom as well as a cultural open mindedness, it proved its new position after the war. Going from scraping for resources to rebuild its infrastructure to investing record breaking amounts to accommodate the Olympics in 1964, Tokyo's image and population went through immense change in the span of just one generation.

And then there was Yumie. Even before the time the Olympics came around, she had been grasped by the Sports-fever. She was an exceptional light athlete and swimmer, acquiring quite some trophies during her time in middle school. But she found her way into the Karyukai of her home district and 1958 debuted as a Hangyoku from there.

Even after she debuted, her sporty and outgoing nature sometimes got in the way of her endeavor to become an elegant Geisha. After she remarked to a patron during an ozashiki, that she desperately wanted to "go swimming" again, she got sent a brand new bathing suit. Since she was to wear her nihongami at all times, as is still custom for Kagurazaka's Hangyoku today, she never got the chance to wear it. Sacrifices any girl in this elusive world is expected to make.

But she loved the Karyukai too. She remembers going out with her Hangyoku sisters during Setsubun. Off to Kyoto to get their hair styled in true Kyoto Maiko fashion. One girl got the Wareshinobu another the Sakkou and so on. They got to wear their Nihongami in the evening for their own ozashiki with patrons and Yumie remembers the feeling of luxury and the love for this aesthetics to this day.

Compared to her Kyoto sisters, Yumie had much more freedom though and she knew it. From being asked to act in the "Toshiba Sunday Theater" drama series to participating in a Tokyo Rokkagai bowling championship, she lived a very playful life in contrast to the insane work schedule and intense training of Nihonbuyo.

1961 Kagurazaka was experiencing a great renaissance in the Karyukai with around 250 active Geisha working in 50 ryotei. Yumie's charm and subsequent success originated in her tomboyish nonchalance, her carefree attitude in a world of intense money flow. She was a girl with her priorities straight, with her heart at the right spot, not impressed with shiny stuff but with the things that truly mattered to her. Maybe because of her familiar origin of Yokohama, she was not in fact raised from generations and generations of Geisha in her family tree. She was in her heart, a normal girl. A normal girl who happened to do something quite unusual for a living.

By the time the Olympics came around, Yumie was already firmly established and heavily booked. She remembers being in engagements from midday to late in the night, running from banquet to banquet, up to five ryotei every evening. This is where she gained her reputation as a great Hangyoku: She had become known to always be in a hurry on the streets, always scurrying, struggling to keep on her high okobo. This because of her personal goal to stay at the booked ozashiki for as long as possible only to run off to the next in the very last minute. Her patrons loved her for it.

Yumie recounts her time as a young Geiko full of happiness and joy. It seems as if she never struggled. If she did, she is one of the insanely few Geisha to have absolutely concealed it, opting to forget the hardship in favor of the more fulfilling times.

These days, she is the most senior Geisha of her district. In fact, she is no longer just a Jikata as she does not even play the shamisen anymore at, if other more junior Geisha are present at ozashiki. Her duties are now those of the main singer solely. Her voice is unique in its seniority and authority and beauty. Because she has always had this pureness of heart, it is still heard through her voice until today.

When she speaks of her past experiences in the karyukai, she still seems fulfilled, she seems absolutely perfect for the role, never burdened, never indebted, never reminded of any semblance of sadness. She is indeed the epitome of a great Geisha.

Source: Kaguruma.jp / Kaguruma.jp / Bowling scene: Yumie on the left by Kaguruma.jp / Kaguruma.jp / Kaguruma.jp / lisbo.jp

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𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 "𝐈𝐓" 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟐

It’s always been my dream to be viewed as a living goddess. When anyone encounters me, I want them to feel as though they have just come in contact with an ethereal being. Someone who is so uniquely feminine, elegant, skillful, kind, elegant, and charming. I want them to be captivated by my beauty and enraptured by my intellect. There is no spell that can accomplish this. Only dedicated and precise hard work. You have to be dedicated. You have to show up for yourself every day, even when you’re tired. Even when you’re sad. Even when you feel totally uninspired. Put in the work for what you want. Here is your guide.

𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄

Have different dresses for different occasions – dresses are the primary clothing piece in your wardrobe

Lounge + at home only dresses (this includes kaftans and kaba)

Day dresses both long and short, suitable for brunches or running errands

Nighttime + cocktail dresses

Dresses + maxi skirts for church

While at home, make sure you still are dressed in your best lounge attire. Looking put together should come effortlessly to you because it’s something you just know to do. Even your pajamas should look good. Don’t skimp on anything.

Jumpsuits (flowy + fitted)

Cardigans (knitted, satin, silk)

Lounge sets (tops + pants)

Lounge dresses

Leggings

Sweaters

Dresses are almost always acceptable for any situation. But, if you don’t feel like wearing a dress, pant sets and jumpsuits are always nice.

Sneakers are perfect for casual dresses, jumpsuits, and pant sets

Jeans should be the last thing on the list for an outfit, and if they are they should be straight leg.

Pair with a t-shirt or sweater

Buy good shapewear and underwear

Replace underwear 6-12 months as needed

Get fitted for bras

Wear proper shapewear

Incorporate tights into wardrobe

Wardrobe staple stores:

Farm Rio

Nap Loungewear

H&M

Naked Wardrobe

House of CB

Grass-Fields

Andreya Iyamah

Hanifa

Fe Noel

Sara Ashley

Souk and Sepia

Heiress Beverly Hills

Levi’s

Show Me Your Mumu

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Ways I’ll Be Investing into My Look in 2022

(A peek into my dream closet and isn’t she a beauty? 😍)

You’ve probably noticed the change in my blog’s aesthetic. What can I say? I have a Gemini in Mercury. All I can say is keep up. But I’ve been pondering another style post considering it was so well-loved in my CUNT series (honestly, thank you so much. It got me to 1000 followers), and considering I’m closer to 27 than I was when I wrote the first one, why not?

Besides the US seems to be going up in smoke because of this pandemic that SOME PEOPLE (not gonna say no names 😒) still refuse to acknowledge the existence of (the Board of Education here just voted to end mask mandates as if we’re not still very much in the middle of a panorama 🤦🏼‍♀️), I’ve decided I’m going to make sure I look good. For the history books, of course.

When I think of the woman I wanted to be when I started pushing 30, my first thought was of Sex and the City, my next thought was of the 2005 Victoria Secret fashion show (from beginning to end, that was Victoria Secret at its PEAK). She lived in NYC in a luxurious brownstone and her life was sexy. Her dating life was sexy. Her career was sexy. What she ate was sexy. The clubs and restaurants she attended were sexy. She only did things that were sexy and pleasurable.

And I intend on living to that dream for myself.

So, let’s start with a more mature image. Here are ways that I’ll be reinventing my look.

Loungewear

As working-from-home becomes a more and more popular option, it’s important to have a subset of clothes specifically for it. It’s unrealistic to want to in a full-blown suit Olivia Pope style in your living room to work, however, pajamas are just too comfortable and personal. Loungewear should be clothes that are comfortable enough to be around the house in, yet “appropriate” (for lack of a better term) if you have unexpected company or need to rush outside for something.

There are plenty of sites and collections to shop for loungewear, whether it be a knitted material or teddy bear material (like that made popular by SKIMS) that offer the shorts, pants, bralette, crop top, and robe, which make it very versatile. And if those aren’t your style, tracksuits and sweatsuits are also great alternatives. I’ve gotten a couple velour ones from SHEIN for pretty cheap and they are honestly my go-to pieces because of how comfortable they are.

Stores to Check Out:

- Meshki

- House of CB

- Target

- SKIMS

Pajamas

Pajamas and loungewear aren’t the same. Pajamas are to sleep in. I know, redundant, but the distinction is important for your brain to know the difference. If you’re waltzing around all day in pajamas, you’ll want to sleep as oppose to work. It’s the same reason you shouldn’t work from your bed. You don’t want your brain to be confused on whether to sleep or not.

With that being said, there are great sleepwear options at every price range and preferred silhouette/material. There’s your standard pajama set that you can find in silk, satin, flannel, and modal fabric or even printed Long Johns that can be more cute (in the right prints) and accentuate those curves. For a sexier feel, I enjoy slips, teddies, and especially babydoll dresses (and the robes to match are non-negotiable). My motto is, “go to sleep looking incredible because you never know who you’ll meet in your dreams”.

Stores to Check Out:

- Fleur du Mal

- Victoria’s Secret

- Savage X Fenty

- Target

- SKIMS

Lingerie

Dita Von Teese once said, “Don’t save your good lingerie for dates, wear it for you,” and I stand by that. Even if it’s just wearing a matching bra and panty, the feeling of being just that more put together (even though no one else can see it) is irreplaceable. You just feel THAT more sexy knowing you took the time to match it, even though it probably takes you 5 seconds. It’s the smallest things that can make the biggest difference. Therefore, invest in lingerie and make it a point to wear it as your “default” setting, if you will.

Stores to Check Out:

- Savage x Fenty

- Fleur du Mal

- For Flowers and Lemons

- Agent Provocateur

- Victoria Secret

- Journelle

- Adore Me

- Solstice Intimates

- LoveHoney

- Cacique Intimates

Shapewear/Hosiery

With the growing number of BBLs per year, shapewear (which used to have an ugly connotation), now has a sense of comfort around it. The thing is that the inclusion of shapewear and hosiery into your wardrobe (no matter your size or age), can offer a seamless appearance to your look. Not to mention, there’s a sex appeal to wearing slip skirts and dresses, garter belts with thigh-high stockings under your attire.

(These can be found at the stores listed in the Lingerie and Pajamas sections.)

Activewear

This seems obvious, but as leggings and sweats are being incorporated into our everyday attire/loungewear, we seem to forget their actual purpose especially when it’s also your work attire (I’m definitely not speaking from experience on that last bit…👀). So, have specific sets set aside for working out in (also I personally don’t believe in wearing leggings casually to begin with) for the same reason you shouldn’t wear loungewear as pajamas. It just confuses the brain.

Stores to Check Out:

- Target

- Aerie

- Nike

- Adidas

- Fabletics

Day/Cocktail Attire

My mom would probably look at this section and have all the questions in the world on where I would were this, which I will always say that I’ll never find a place to wear it if I don’t have it to begin with. The mark of my future self is she’s always attending roof-top parties and invited to exclusive club/restaurant openings, mature dates, art galleries, etc. And for that, I’ll need something to wear.

There’s cocktail attire for the daytime and nighttime. You’re probably wondering what could daytime cocktail wear look like and for that, just think “old money going to a horse race” or just watch that one episode of Gossip Girl when they attending that White Party in the Hamptons or the horse race. It’s much more conservative with not much room to play with the glitz and glamour (in terms of sequins and such), while nighttime does. It’s important to have clothes to fit each. If you think that you’ll be invited to a horse race or GQ party, you will.

Stores to Check Out:

- Revolve

- Nordstrom

- Express

- Saks

Gowns

I want dates to the Opera and invitations to red carpet events and such. So, I’m manifesting a bit here, but all I’m saying is Naomi Campbell has a gown or two in her wardrobe and so will I.

(This can be found in the same stores mentioned in the previous section.)

Swimwear/Cover-Ups

I don’t know about you, but since this year started, I’ve been dreaming of a vacation to the Caribbean (I mean, if this weather insists on behaving as summer, with the except of us randomly getting snow for the first time in years, why shouldn’t I?). I adore how people have multiple sets of swimsuits for every day of their vacation, so I’ll be doing the same (making sure to have a set of strappy heels to match in my casual strolls around the pools and boardwalks).

Stores to Check Out:

- Triangl

- Frankie’s Bikinis

- Victoria Secret

- Amazon/SheIn

- Pretty Little Thing

- Meshki

- Revolve

Business Attire

I idolize Olivia Pope. No, really, I do. I mean, why bother with being a simple figure-head president when you can hold influence over them in the palm of your hands? The mark of Olivia Pope was her incredible business attire (not to mention the “It’s Handled” strut done Pennsylvania Avenue with a Prada bag in her hand that I occasionally practice). A greatly tailored suit just gives you so much control and polish. I look forward to investing in different colors, fabrics, silhouettes, and prints when it comes to suits this year. (Plus, there are ways to adapt suit wear into your casual outfits that can add more use to the pieces.)

Stores to Check Out:

- Express

- House of CB

- Zara

- Nordstrom

- Saks

Accessories

In my last style post, I mentioned how while I love to wear black, but it washes me out (for reference, I have warm undertones). This is why accessories are important. Accessories can be a great way of telling stories and be an unexpected surprise of color (makeup can work in the same way). Therefore, I’ll be looking forward to playing with this attributes to liven-up my look.

Hair

To start, I want to make it routine to go to an actual hair salon, but this year, I’m thinking of changing my hair color (again, to compliment my warm undertones). Outside of that, it’s important to invest into a hair care routine, including bond repair treatments, hot oil treatments, protein treatments, deep conditioning, and steaming (I have low porosity hair for reference).

I do make my own hair oil (and I’ll provide links). Here’s the products I use:

- Hair Herb Mix

- Sweet Almond Oil

- Coconut Oil

- Amla Oil

- Flaxseed Oil

- Aloe Vera Gel

- Castor Oil

- Rosemary Oil

- Tea Tree Oil

- Honey (Yes, actual honey. If Camille Rose can do it, why can’t I?)

My hair is the longest it’s been since 2013 (not because of damage, but I’ve been cutting it shorter and shorter for years) and it honestly has been a pain in my ass fighting the urge to cut my hair to give it a decent cut, but no, I’m sticking to my guns and growing it out like Sayuri in Memoirs of a Geisha during the snow dance scene. And since I’ve been regularly applying this oil since December, my hair has been growing insanely fast (visually stunning film though IMMENSELY wrong).

(I also am going to invest into some Olaplex, Briogeo, Gisou, and BREAD after hearing such amazing reviews. I’ll keep you updated.)

Take Aways: Dress for the job/life you want, not the one you got.

And that’s all folks. I’m going to be making a master post of all my posts. But before I go, I’d love to tag some blogs that have been inspiring me in this new journey:

- @elletheroyal

- @baetheinsider

- @billionairebabes

- @brihann

- @justalilbratbrat​

- @frenchvanillaorchid​

Thanks you guys for all the support!! As always, my inbox is always open and the pics are not mine. And until my next post 😘

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Tips on how to dress preppy?

Here are the rules I stand by:

Put away the patterns: I get absolutely dumbfounded every time I see a girl walk into a refined establishment wearing hectic prints. When it comes to dressing preppy, simple is always best. You have GOT to put away the animal prints, the sequins, and the glitter. Instead opt for solid colors, or at most a simple stripe.

Find a designer that suits you best: For me, that designer is Tory Burch. I love the colors, the prints, and the fabrics Tory Burch uses because it suits me and my personality perfectly. Conversely, I HATE Lily Pulitzer. The colors look frenetic on me and in my opinion Pulitzer is simply not made to fit a black girl's ass. So moral of the story, find a preppy designer that you really enjoy and source the majority of your wardrobe from them.

Find a preppy role model: For me that's Amanda Clarke, a character from this show called 'Revenge'. I’m obsessed with her style and have replicated a ton of her looks. She's my guiding light and without her influence my style would be all over the place.

Thrift: Before I began dating prince, I got 99% of my clothes from thrift stores. I've worn nothing but Burberry, Ralph Lauren, Tory Burch, Vineyard Vines, Barbour, Brooks Brothers, and J. Crew for the past 5 years and I've spent practically nothing on any of these clothes. You can find the best gems thrifting and I don't care if I win the lottery tomorrow I'll still be hitting my local thrift shops on the daily.

Wear preppy jewelry: Unfortunately hoops, nose rings, sparkly bangles, and name plates are not preppy and never will be. Go for pearl earrings (I got my favorite pair at a pearl factory in Beijing when I was 15 and can count on one hand the number of times I’ve taken them off), dainty pendant necklaces, thin bracelets, and 1-2 rings at a time max. I believe white gold/silver is devilishly preppy so I wear it exclusively. Remember that when it comes to jewelry, less is always more.

Keep it demure: That means NO bandeau's, NO short-shorts or tight mini skirts, NO ultra tight micro-dresses, NO cleavage out, and NO see-through clothes. My motto is, if you wouldn't wear it in front of your boss, it ain't preppy.

Lovingly,

Elle

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Good advice.