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Height difference

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Imagine Drift lowering his head and saying a prayer to Primus to thank him for the meal he’s about to eat right before eating Ratchet out. And Ratchet just has to lay there annoyed n wait for Drift to finish that whole thing.

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No one can tell me that any command disputes on LL are not settled like that (Rodimus keeps inviting himself to these sessions)

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My most controversial opinions.

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I have been introduced to the concept of Mirage/Swerve, and now it will not leave me alone.

WARNING: dubious consent (slightly), though I am picturing Swerve being very willing for the acts themselves, just not aware it is Mirage.

Mirage uses his ability because he can be a little petty to poke at Swerve as a joke because Swerve had been crowing about Visages having to be temporarily closed.

Swerve is believed by some, but Mirage is very careful not to get caught and makes himself an alibi and cover looking like he's somewhere else during the hauntings.

It's a bit of stress relief, and Mirage is a tiny bit of a sadist and Swerve is very cute when startled. And then one day he just clicks his tongue at Swerve's experimental drinks and tries one and cleans it up because Mirage is anxious about something and accidentally trained himself to find Swerve a stress relief either at the bar after close while Swerve is cleaning up or in his room.

Now, Swerve is convinced he's somehow appeased the ghost. So he names the new drink after him (the ghost) and makes one for him when he spots him at the bar/in his room. This, of course, evolves into Swerve, talking to his ghost. Or turning on movies and Mirage deciding to linger and stay alerting Swerve, he was still there by moving something, or more often, touching him with light petting, which makes Swerve shiver and squirm but continue.

And, oh no, now Mirage is getting attached a little possessive, who gets hit on but doesn't catch it, and Mirage bristles at the sight. Mirage impulsively corners and kisses him after close, and things escalate from there. Until Mirage can not resist touching Swerve, who squirms and doesn't complain as kisses evolve into petting and one day exhibitionism with Mirage sucking Swerve's spike during a shift behind the bar and then another time eating out his valve under a table and shoving his own spike down Swerve's mouth in his hab suite.

It all escalates to Mirage full on fucking him whenever he wants. The storage unit at Swerve's, the public showers with Swerve pressed to the ground by someone invisible, waking him up in the morning to Mirage sinking into him after pinning him down, no need to worry about a roommate.

The entire time Swerve doesn't know who his ghost is, just being absolutely railed and bullied or pinned in worship on different days depending on if he'd made a snide comment about Mirage one day or had a rough day and felt insecure the next. Mirage is very adaptable, and Swerve is adorable no matter what.

And oops, Mirage has feelings for Swerve. Who wouldn't give him (Mirage) the time of day but who told him (the Ghost) that he's his best friend.

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How do you feel about SG Optimus prime with a breeding kink😏

We've talked about it plenty on here before and my opinion has not changed, SG Optimus with a breeding kink would actually destroy you

Not in a figurative sense, I mean literally you would not be able to move for several hours because his dick would not be further than 3 inches from your pussy at any given time while in a mating press

And you know what, you're probably tied up too why not

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“Be serious, Rodimus, have you ever kept anything you held from breaking?”

For the always lovely and always wonderful @larrydraws who is so enthusiastic and positive about this pairing and who is also fucking perfect and kind brilliant and makes me melt every second of the day! I really hope you like it! ;w; HAVE THIS SCHMOOP, DARLING, HAVE ALL THIS SCHMOOP!

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POV: you're watching a science lecture being streamed on OnlyCons and you decide to check out the chat moderator's channel

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Tarn kept a firm grasp on Glitch's hip plating, large clawed finger delicately and perfectly finding the gaps and tender wiring to pull and pet in perfect tandem to make Glitch's hips jerk uselessly against them to try and grind his burning panel against the thigh pressed against his plating and keeping his thighs spread. He couldn't budge in the slightest left to kick his legs in frustration, unable to even gasp or groan with the inhibitor on. Every noise was a senseless filtered static. 

Tarn chuckled, low and rumbling through to clench sweetly around Glitch's Spark, sending a wave of charge that visibly crackled between them. 

Glitch watched helplessly as little arcs of electricity crackled back and forth from purple to orange and back. The servos so large they engulfed his waist thumb brushing high and the smallest digit hooking lightly around the back of his thighs.

Glitch's squirmed at the thought. Of how he couldn't even think to struggle, even his own Outlier ability smothered by the mysterious Tarn's everything. It should have been threatening. Bad that the unknown mech had gotten him here trapped under him far from his crew.

Instead Glitch's valve cycled down, as he thought of what the size difference meant for Tarn's spike. Fuck Overlord for giving him appreciation for lovers on the larger spectrum.

The dazed moment let Tarn raise his thigh up and press the smooth metal right up against Glitch's valve cover, pressing so hard the cover grinded against Glitch's swollen valve and node, sending pleasure so sharp it stung but not focused enough to do anything more than tease. It never pressed where he wanted most. 

His panel popped open.

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What if Tarn has a medic fetish

Yes, this has lead to Situations™ before, especially considering decepticon medics' reputation

oh my god what if Pharma reminds him of an old situationship

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The idea that if you're fragging a soldier of the other faction you're officially supposed to sway them to your faction is very funny to me

"We would prefer you not fuck an autobot, but if you do please convince them to defect to us pretty please :)"

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Imagining Swindle gets swept up by a bunch of aliens looking to study Cybertronian mating habits. The study is purely optional, and Swindle is about to turn them down, but then they say he'll receive financial compensation for his participation.

Needless to say, he participates with much enthusiasm.

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above all my fetish sideblog must be jerkoffable

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Wrecker sandwich with microscope filling

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Package with unorthodox— but welcome—contents.

Cm for @thebirdkiwi !