givingupadream-blog

[givingupadream-blog]

GIVING UP A DREAM

For many kids in high school, sports play a significant role in individual development in addition to the future that comes after they leave facility where they spent the past four years. I was no exception. In addition to my education, softball played a significant role in my time at South Allegheny High School. Being the starting pitcher all four years of high school, I had my fair share of success. I was named to the All-Section Team for three consecutive years, was featured in countless newspaper articles, and was the recipient of various other honors and awards. In addition, I was being seriously recruited by numerous Division II and Division III colleges to come play softball for them once I graduated. Life was great, and I was achieving goals I had since  I was a little girl learning how to throw the ball.

However, I did not attend college to play softball. I chose to go to Penn State University Park, where I am now a sophomore, to study Architecture. I have not picked up a softball since I played my final softball game over a year ago. What consumed over fourteen years of my life are now memories that I look back on from time to time. My collection of trophies and plaques are now dust collectors that sit in my room. Even though I love my life the way it is now, I did not see this type of future for myself. Ever since I was twelve, I had my heart set on being a pitcher for the Penn State Nittany Lions. Even at such a young age, I was determined on making my dreams a reality, and I worked year-round on becoming the player I desired and strived to be. From the ages of twelve to eighteen, my life consisted of practices at least four days a week, and my weekends were spent traveling the northeastern region with my parents to play 6+ games over a two-day period. It was a full-time job for me, but I genuinely loved every second I spent with a bat or ball in my hands. Where my school friends spent their summers by the pool every day, I was playing games in the 100 degree weather chasing my dreams.

However, although I did not know it at the time, my future college softball career would soon be abolished by what I took interest in as a major. Architecture. In eighth grade, I was required to take a class where I explored potential careers. I do not remember the vast majority of the class, but I vividly remember taking my usual seat one day in October and being directed to take a questionnaire on my hobbies and interests. The questionnaire lasted about fifteen minutes or so, and after I answered the final question, I was given three potential career choices based on the answers I filled out. Our task for the rest of the period was to research our results, and I instantly became infatuated with architecture. Becoming an architect instantly became my second goal to achieve past high school. Over the next three years, however, I learned that these two aspirations of mine were not both plausible. Architecture is only offered at select Division I colleges and is the most vigorous and time consuming major I could have chosen. Playing softball at any college or university is also a major time commitment, with practices 2-3 times a day and games that take up the entirety of the weekend. As a result, I was forced to give up one of my goals and choose one or the other. Ultimately, I gave up a large part of myself to pursue my dream career and my dream school.

I was aware of the decision I had made, but it didn't really hit me until I was accepted into Penn State’s architecture program and went to tell my softball coach about the good news. My coach and I had a close bond, and throughout the entirety of my high school softball career, we had an infinite amount of conversations about me going on to play softball at the collegiate level. However, even though he had always pushed for me to play college softball, at the end of the day, he understood that academics were more important to me, and architecture was genuinely something I loved and wanted to pursue.

When I had free time, I went to officially tell him that my softball career would be over in a mere six months, and I would be attending Penn State simply as a student, and not a student-athlete. For a while, we talked about the upcoming high school season, as I was accepted to Penn State in January, and our softball season begins in March. Being a leader on the softball team for the entirety of my high school career, I was used to talking to my coach about everything and anything softball related. However, this felt different. When he asked for an update on my college search, I knew it was time to break the news. While the sadness on his was unmistakable, I could tell he was genuinely happy to see me going on to accomplish something I have wanted to do since that October in eighth grade. Breaking such important and significant news to someone who genuinely believed in my softball abilities and wanted to see me succeed on the next level was difficult, but my coach was and continues to be just as proud and supportive of my academic success.

Since my years of playing softball have come to an end, I have I have found other activities that I genuinely love doing to fill the void of softball that I had lost since arriving at Penn State. My time and passion is now dedicated to running, as I love being active and challenging myself. I have ran multiple 5K races as well as my first half marathon this past May. I will run my first full marathon in the spring, and I hope to qualify and run in the Boston Marathon in the near future.

Choosing one dream over another was one of the most difficult decisions I have made, but I am confident that it was the right choice. Although pursuing either dream would have lead me to happiness, I love what I am learning in college and am excited to pursue my architectural career after my time at Penn State is complete. In addition, had I played softball, I never would have pursued a running career, which has become the second chapter of my athletic life. In contrast, I often wonder what my life would be like had I played softball and what doors that decision would have opened for me. Softball is still something I miss and think about often, but retiring from the sport opened many doors for me to discover and develop other hobbies and interests that I preciously had not had time to go after. In the end, I am confident either decision would have made me happy, and ultimately, giving up one dream has opened my life up to seeking out and taking action on many others.