girlcumdrunk

[girlcumdrunk]

speaking genuinely but our experience in nsfw spaces improved significantly when we started removing ourselves of the idea that we had to view other dommes as threats or competition or the like.

this isn't something that we suffer exclusively in NSFW spaces - our brain has deep-seated complexes both over 'being second-best/inferior' and 'being not in control', for various reasons we won't get into here. naturally, when the topic of this particular subculture ties directly into ideals of power and projecting images of control and superiority, that flares up many times over.

but... ultimately, having pride in oneself doesn't mean you need to view others as threats or put them down. just because you wish to be seen as, or view yourself as, grandiose, doesn't mean others cannot as well. you can view other dominants as friends, chat casually as well as about scene ideas, appreciate the work they do without worrying about it making you "inferior". and learning and internalizing that genuinely makes for a more vivid world.

that is to say; to all of the fellow hard dominant mutuals we have, hi, we deeply support and appreciate you and hope you know that you're doing amazing!

[girlcumdrunk]

how can I start to learn hypno?

how we experienced it: using a mere paragraph-and-a-half of guidance from an acquaintance, attempt and succeed in trancing your partner. react with shock and utterly unconstrained lust. do everything you can to improve from there.

what is probably the better stratagem: read actual guides. obviously mark wiseguy's Mind Play is a classic Beginner's 101 To Hypnosis Kink - though even though it's a longer read (and its very backend leans into more the authors' own personal spiritualities spilling in, which is pretty but will not be applicable to everyone) Mastering Erotic Hypnosis by james gordon and rebecca doll is a more comprehensive starting point for the kink. @h-sleepingirl has written some excellent works on various sides of the kink - in general, our #hypnotic theory tag has a lot of well-spoken thoughts on the topic by others.

ultimately, though, hypnosis is communication. it's trusting yourself to guide your partner, and trusting them enough to put in the effort to help weave what they love and want. as such it's ultimately something where experience will help you more than anything. try various different inductions and see what works nicely for you. familiarize yourself with different methods of suggestion, find imagery that feels evocative on a bodily and aesthetic level to you and try weaving it into your storytelling, pay attention to your partners' bodily reactions and make them feel inevitable. learning is a slow process, and there's a lot of different ways to present hypnosis to a partner.

let us touch on the question of 'how am i supposed to reassure my partner and make them feel calm and willing to relinquish control when i'm anxious about not knowing what i'm doing myself?' - the answer is that you do not have to be perfect the first time, or the second, et cetera, but you also don't need to present yourself as a perfect dominant figure. have fun with things! frame it as a game, or an experiment, or anything else. do it to have fun with your partner - ask them how certain things feel for you, do classic experiments like the arm-raising test and see how they respond, see what words cause them to twitch or breathe a little heavier or otherwise coax out bodily responses.

ultimately, let's close it out with the basic advice we were given all those years ago: pay attention to your partner. reassure them. keep their mind occupied, whether through your own patter or by asking them to do specific actions. (consider the classic 7(+/-2) induction here). give them a space where they feel safe enough to relinquish control.

best of luck, nonnie.

[girlcumdrunk]

Fuuuuck

girl who glares down at you and asks "did you just say red?" in a voice so stern you can't make a sound save a faint "n-no, i'm sorry..."

[girlcumdrunk]

I mean this site is where i do most of my reading for stories like yours, but especially if you write something multi part I can see major advantages to putting it on ao3. Plus, it’s just a fun place!

Should i make an ao3 account to upload my writing to? is that a good idea?

[girlcumdrunk]

Hey you! Yes, you! ♡

If you're a hypnokink blog, please reblog this! It's time for our yearly follow spree. ♡

[girlcumdrunk]

I mean I like all your posts/reblogs so I don’t mind the reblog spam but that’s just me idk

i sometimes wonder if i should get a queue bc occasionally i feel self conscious abt spam rbing ..

[girlcumdrunk]

I wonder if it could learn to cum in chastity…

Either way, I hope it has lots of fun with this extra 30 minutes

misc makes a chastity post

so it recently got a chastity belt and has had a few test runs with it and is reasonably confident it could survive this... maybe? chastity is intense, but it keeps being told it belongs in chastity and should be locked up and... it wants to do a gentle post to begin with, since it's its first time really going for it... and it's seen how these things have gone for others so...

anyway, we're playing a game here. every note is going to add to a timer. it's going to add a poll and you'll have until the poll ends to add notes...

the question is...

please spam, tease, and have fun with this thing as much as you'd like!

[girlcumdrunk]

I love this post so I decided to voice it

[girlcumdrunk]

Sorry cutie, already cast my vote!

misc makes a chastity post

so it recently got a chastity belt and has had a few test runs with it and is reasonably confident it could survive this... maybe? chastity is intense, but it keeps being told it belongs in chastity and should be locked up and... it wants to do a gentle post to begin with, since it's its first time really going for it... and it's seen how these things have gone for others so...

anyway, we're playing a game here. every note is going to add to a timer. it's going to add a poll and you'll have until the poll ends to add notes...

the question is...

please spam, tease, and have fun with this thing as much as you'd like!

[girlcumdrunk]

[girlcumdrunk]

what about hypnotic capacitance and resistance and whatnot

[girlcumdrunk]

Consent models, sexual ethics, rape.

Consent as a model works best if ppl have enlightenment style rational consistent subjectivity. (Perfect self knowledge, consistent across time, coherent and unconflicted). Sober, enthusiastic, ongoing, verbal consistent is a set of guardrails to try and deal with the ways ppl fall short of enlightenment subjectivity but problems remain.

People don't have perfect self knowledge, and we regularly want to have sex we're conflicted about, have sex while drunk/high, have strong regrets that don't crystalize till after the fact, etc.

The guardrail model came in large part out of a desire to eliminate grey areas such that if something went wrong and someone got hurt, there was clear fault. But this model is deeply connected to the assumption of sex involving two parties, one active and one receptive, with the active party having a social power advantage and more or less sole responsibility regarding consent.

An underlying assumption is that if someone acquiesces to sex against their desire, it's due to coercion from the other party (who is at fault) or at least it would have sufficiently compromised the enthusiasm of the consent such that the other party should have been able to notice.

But trauma is complicated and I think it's real to say that sometimes the "party at fault" is a past abuser, or society at large, to the extent that it's anyone.

It's also completely possible that there's less-than-ideal consent without it being a huge deal, or that in the moment consent practices are as good as can reasonably be expected and someone still walks away traumatized. Or genuine negligence, that does hurt someone, but clearly doesn't belong in the same category as intentionally dismissing a partners non-consent.

If we reject state carceral systems, I'm not sure how useful it is to stay focused on blame in these types of situations.

More generally, I think one-size-fits-all models of consent really start to break down. With the mass education, public health type approach of sex ed, a one sentence check list of attributes (sober, enthusiastic ongoing and explicit) is about as much nuance as you can hope for. But it leaves a situation in which ppl are having drunk sex all the time, within scenes and ongoing relationships that have clearly chosen to accept it as legitimate, while essentially leaving a gun on the table. The ability to at any point declare consent illegitimate for a specific act since it wasn't sober.

The ongoing and enthusiastic elements are also notably ambiguous. Is that an explicit check-in every minute or so? Every 10 seconds? With each new act? How quickly do you need to catch a partner starting to dissociate before it makes you a rapist? How long can you let yourself be enraptured and lost in the act before you risk it?

This shit is messy.

But I do think it's straightforward to acknowledge that ppl build approaches to consent with each other over the course of multiple sexual encounters. Sometimes in ways that aren't explicitly about consent (eg making plans to get drunk/high and then fuck indicating a clear openness to non-sober consent) but sometimes explicitly (eg a large portion of my reason sexual relationships have quickly hit point of checking in to be like "are you comfortable if I try stuff with your body, within reasonable bounds, without checking in and trust you to tell me if it's uncomfortable?" Cuz that's why more hot and that is in fact an important aspect of sex. But I've also had recent partners I wouldn't make that offer with, it's about a specific rapport.

A lot of my inclination lately (in a way that seems to be a trend on here) has been towards a strong model of consent. That is, if I say I'm down for something, you can act on that and vice versa. Even if it's outside the bounds of traditional consent. That we can consent to acts that include risks, that we can consent in advance to non-consent in the moment, that we (with appropriate reflection and bounding) can agree to no safe word scenes if we want to, and if we have a bad time that isn't the other parties' fault.

In all of this, I lean towards an ethic of care moreso than one of blame. That is, a strong model of consent says that if I agree to something, you aren't to blame for acting on that, but we can foster a sense of care for each other, trying to form best practices for avoiding anyone getting hurt or otherwise feeling like shit. Rather than consent by default, that is shattered by the smallest departure moving the act from the category of consensual sex into the category of rape. Consent is a baseline we establish, and then we build up practices on top of it, collaboratively, as best we can. And none of us should have to bear the paralyzing fear that letting our guard down for a moment during sex could by way of negligence turn us into a rapist.

I think this model deals well with most of sex ed style consent's issues around rational subjectivity and one-sided consent.

It does not directly address questions if coercion however, and I think there's still a lot to say about what stays private as an agreement between directly involved parties and a more general, social sexual ethics, and how this all plays out when ppl who've been fucking have a messy falling out and care evaporates rapidly. (I'll get into coercion some here but leave the other aspects for later)

Regarding coercion, I think we can still say that active and deliberate moves to push ppl towards agreeing to something they otherwise wouldn't compromise consent. Asking someone over and over again is still pushy, pushing someone towards getting high/drunk in hopes that they'll acquiesce to the kind of sex you want is different from a mutual decision that you're fine fucking high and what bounds you want to set on that.

The lower level, not necessarily deliberate shit that gets labeled as coercion is messier. If a partner gets extremely sad every time you say no to the kind of sex they want, that absolutely creates pressure. But Im gonna reject any model that puts feeling the wrong feelings and failing to fully mask them in the same category as rape. I think these kinds of patterns are the opposite of care. I still subscribe to a strong model of consent and if you agree to something because you don't want to make a partner sad, that is still agreeing to it. But ideally I think everyone involved / around such a dynamic would try and identify if such a pattern is happening and hit the breaks (eg establish a hard and ongoing no to sex).

This shit is hard, and like, uhhhh, a big part of my position here has developed out of reflecting on less-than-ideal long term sexual relationships I've had, that within traditional models I could easily class as abusive. But I ultimately think it's been more empowering and more helpful for me to shift away from those relationships being the other parties' fault and towards an approach where first and foremost, I needed to get better at knowing myself and being willing to say no, and having a hard-no response to situations that create pressure against that. While still being able to maintain that 100% my partners ideally would have been better to me. (But also, like, the ways in which I wish they'd been better to me is tied up in their own shit, and I'm not gonna say ppl need to be stable/collected/not-crazy to be allowed to fuck, or that ppl should feel guilty for being where they're at. That doesn't help anything).

[girlcumdrunk]

I’ll bite. I’m guessing it’s either victim or something misgendering related?

and theres one degrading word that i am extremely weak to- but i shall not share it, because half of you would get mad and half of you would use it

[girlcumdrunk]

just heard the most beautiful sentence at work

[girlcumdrunk]

Sadistic submissives awakening

You've never done this before, you're scared. But it's OK, your domme is right there with you and will guide you

She cups her hand in hers and raises it to her face

"I don't want to hurt you"

"Yes I know my precious girl, but you're going to, because I want you to"

She makes you slap her, your hand in hers, just lightly at first, but getting harder. Your eyes grow wide, you slap her hard enough that her face snaps sideways, there's blood on her lip, you take a deep slow breath in and hold it.

"Good girl~" she purrs "again"

You place your hand against her cheek, bracing her head as you've felt her do to you, and slap her as hard as you can, she moans with the impact. You've never felt this heat before, you feel almost paralysed with need.

"Ohhhh goodness my darling, that was a good one I'm so proud of you"

You're speechless

She takes your hand and wraps your fingers into your palm forming a fist, she presses your fist into her inner thigh and grabs a fist full of your hair

"Don't hold back" she warns

You don't

An hour later she's almost too bruised to move, but she scoops you up in her arms and smothers you in kisses and praise

"Next time I'll teach you how to use the knife" she promises

[girlcumdrunk]

REAL

A lot of hypnosis here is too focused on sexuality and abiding by popular tropes and it loses out on a lot of potential narrative space, honestly. For many ways, some more or less frustrating than others - for one particularly egregious instance, spiral gifs are perhaps the most boring and uninteresting pieces of media here on hypnosis tumblr. They are the milquetoast black-and-white het d/s porn of hypnoblr, instead now instead of the metaphorical headache of being reminded of shitty pop-culture beauty standards, we're given a literal headache from untagged seizure-inducing content that wouldn't pass seizure checks on any other form of online content. Is that sex to you? Can you only get off to getting tranced by untagged visual hazards?

[girlcumdrunk]

healing magic that's inherently sexual but the healer is the dom. healing magic that requires you to completely relinquish control over to your party's healer, letting them guide you through it. it's a painful kind of magic - snapping bones back together, fusing torn skin, regrowing limbs. if you twitch, if you resist, if you do the wrong movement, it might jeopardize your recovery, might hurt you further - so your healer ties you up. they play with your hair, murmuring soft words of encouragement, their other hand trailing down to your wound. you have to trust them so completely that you'll let them dip their fingers into your torn open body. they reward you as they go - giving you pleasure to offset the pain, telling you how well you're doing, how sweet you look, your brow slick with sweat and your mouth hanging open, dumb in their skilled hands. it hurts, oh how it hurts, but you've learned to love it, to love their attention, their control over you, their soothing voice and the now familiar burning of flesh stitching itself back together.