girlcum-sommelier - Tumblr blog

[girlcum-sommelier]

Bites you with my venomous fangs. Gets bored and injects you with my poisonous syringe.

[girlcum-sommelier]

i hate him and that dumb ass toy

[girlcum-sommelier]

I should run for president so the media can find my tumblr posts and show them to america

[girlcum-sommelier]

The sweetness of honeymilk

By Prototype Jack

When you smack me.

When you whack me.

When you squirt me.

When you spurt me.

The memorys.

Are priceless.

My lust,my lust, my lust.

For you.

I would never sell for 1000🤑

So sweet, so sweet so sweet,

Are your lips.

And your balls.

And your perky pink nipples.

Sweeter then honey milk.

With 50 pounds of brown sugar.

And 30 donuts

And 500 slices of cakes.

And 30000 candies.

And a chocolate

And a sweet cola.

And 200000000 ice cones

And 30 candy cane

And 50000 lolipops

And 10000000000 ice pops

And a slice of cherrypie

And 5000000 root beer flotes

And a piece of candy

And 900000 pockystick

And 70000000000 frapchinos

And 5000000 brownies

And 5000000 blondies

And a velvet cake

And 20 key lime pie

And 8000000 cookies

And 30000000000 chocolates

And 60000000 gumballs

And 2000 sugars

And 50000000 honeys

And 100 crystal candies

And 80000000 sweet treats

And 3 jellos

And 10000000000000000000000000000 pudding

And 600 mochis

And a piece of candy.

You are sweeter to me then all these.

But you dont fucking respond to me on grindr anymore.

And that makes me mad, mad, mad.

Rarely am i glad.

I thought you were my lad.

Sad.

[girlcum-sommelier]

[girlcum-sommelier]

“we can’t be together, my love. for i am cursed to be a basketball dracula forever” said basketball dracula as he leapt into a solemn slam dunk from half court. his lover cried immediately

[girlcum-sommelier]

look, man, i really appreciate you stopping by my uncle’s funeral, especially on such short notice, but you have got to stop bringing your dripping briefcases to somber events 

[girlcum-sommelier]

was gonna make a post but i realized no one in this crumbs and mold world would care

[girlcum-sommelier]

my yummy power of candy so sour

[girlcum-sommelier]

toy powers growing

entering toy state

[girlcum-sommelier]

entering toy state

[girlcum-sommelier]

How deep does the hole go?

Art by Penzilla

[girlcum-sommelier]

one thing I’ve noticed while running an online shop is that Americans never include their country when writing their address.

I don’t mean when filling in online forms, bc that’s obviously a required element. but when emailing me for address changes for orders, they never include a country in the updated address. but I always know the country is the United States of America because literally nobody else around the world would do that.

[girlcum-sommelier]

I think the real fucked up thing about the way some Americans respond to media from or information about people in China or Russia or even North Korea etc is not whether any particular piece of propaganda about actions of the state or living conditions etc is true but the implicit idea that rando people are to be treated as assets of a state in some clash of civilizations and that it is the speaker's duty to also be such an asset

[girlcum-sommelier]

I’ve been waiting a year to post this