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teal and orange truly is the greatest color combo in the world. like name one better combo
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Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*
My cat: Father is…evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.
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You, an edgy mall goth: Personal Jesus by Marilyn Manson
Me: an even edgier mall goth: Personal Jesus by Mindless Self Indulgence
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this is really just my favorite tiktok
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me at work: im evil
1 second after i clock out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now
next day at work: evil again
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"This Dominos in San Antonio. People are working around the clock during this duel crisis of coronavirus and massive power outage. They had a weekend worth of food and it was gone within 4 hours. This team helped those that needed help. These are the essential workers that need recognition. They were the only place open in their community that was open. Every pizza place was closed but dominos stayed open to help those in need. Don’t let me ever, ever, ever hear you say these people don’t deserve a living wage. Swear to GOD don’t let me hear you say it!!"
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What do you mean you’re not scared of my evil powers ? *kisses you*
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camp counselor cool dad figure percy loudly making increasingly stupid offerings at the dining hall so the new kids don’t feel awkward doing it as well and inadvertently starting a revolution where the gods get such absurd requests some of them even start happening and it’s a mess but he thinks it’s hilarious and lets it continue bc the idea of zeus fuming over a kid asking for a hoverboard in the brazier offering makes him (maybe not so) secretly smile
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my toxic trait : i hurt in silence and pray that someone loves me enough to notice i’m not being myself
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spiderman helping out the owner of a local art store and them giving him a spiderman discount so now miles only goes in there if hes in his suit
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Anyone else have a deep and boundless love for the ocean and moon
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i turned on the light in the dining room but Tubby had been sleeping in a chair and it woke her up and she was Not Pleased
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To the customers who apologize repeatedly for “bothering” me, or offer to clean up their own spill if I just get them some paper towels, or walk all the way around an aisle so as not to disturb me when I’m blocking their path, I just want to reassure you that you are NOT the annoying customer we complain about in retail. You are very kind and you clearly respect me and my time and I appreciate you. Also I am happy to help you with whatever you need and it is not at all a bother.
To the customer who shouted “EGGS?” at me from twenty feet away because apparently it was just too much trouble to come a few steps closer and use a complete sentence like “where are the eggs, please?”: fuck you.
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what the hell is going on in this country?!
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