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gimmeallthechicken · 4 years ago

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Two Worlds: Me vs Ethereal You

Pairing: NCT Jaehyun x reader

Genre: Angst, fluff, crossover (NCT, BLACKPINK)

Summary: After meeting a certain friend of your brother in middle school, you were thrown into a world of Insecurities. For a long time, you constantly drowned yourself with lies and built a wall between you and your loved ones. When you meet face-to-face with the person who started it all, the wall starts to crumble. What happens when this certain someone pushes you past your limits and tries to pull you out of the hell you made for yourself? Get some popcorn and get ready to read the most vulnerable, intense side of you.

Note: I’m excited to present to you the first installment of the first “series” I’m uploading on my account! This is the first time I’ll be doing this and hopefully not the last. However, because it is a series with longer chapters, I will be slower to upload my stories… I hope that each update will satisfy your patience! Enjoy!

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Prologue

Beautiful. Do you see that beautiful girl standing next to the blossoming flower? Do you see how she’s undisturbed, how she’s in her own world? Yeah, she isn’t you.

“It’s beautiful,” left the voice of your soft, delicate friend.

You, the one with boring clothes accompanied by a very messy ponytail, smiled proudly at her.

“You’re beautiful,” a much deeper, more silvery voice spoke.

Your love-struck friend locked eyes with her beau, another beautiful human being named Doyoung, and stood on her tiptoes, boosting herself up to plant a kiss on his cheek.

“You’re beautiful,” she told him, snaking her arms around his waist lovingly.

Swaying back and forth, the sweet couple got lost in their own world, forgetting your existence. You didn’t mind, though. You were used to their open affection for each other. In fact, it warmed your heart seeing their treasured relationship. It helped temporarily blind you of the void that you were slowly feeling each passing day in your heart.

Letting the sweet couple have their moment, you stepped aside with your DSLR camera.

“I can’t believe I managed to capture it,” you whispered to yourself, wiping the sweat trickling down your forehead.

The picture that you had in your hands was everything you hoped it would turn out to be. As a matter of fact, it was more than you expected of yourself. With the blue sky complementing the color of the purple balloon flowers, your fair-toned friend shone radiantly with a peaceful facial expression resting on her face, which was surrounded by an abundance of the balloon flowers.

A few days ago, your close friend Jisoo asked you to take pictures of her and her boyfriend for their upcoming one-year anniversary. As an aspiring photographer, you gladly accepted her request on the condition that she return the favor by modeling for you for one of your classes.

“I shall show you my modeling skills once and for all,” she sassily responded, flipping her hair dramatically.

Although her remark was meant to be funny, you trusted her modeling talent because she was working her way up in the beauty industry, and she was sure to know more than enough about a variety of graceful poses. You were fortunate enough to have met someone like her, someone who motivated you to do better, and that serene pose, that picture you were able to capture thanks to her, did just that.

“Okay, let’s get a shot of you together now,” you announced, breaking the couple from their world.

There were two concepts you were going for: ethereal ambiance that reflected your friends’ passionate love and playful intimacy that mirrored their refreshing, sweet love. The photos you took that morning accomplished ethereal and playful ambiance through individual shots. It was now time for those same sentiments but through a couple photoshoot.

Before you could position the two in front of the white backdrop you had prepared earlier that morning, there was a cry that bounced off the tall, vintage walls of the warehouse-like studio.

“Wait, wait! I’m here!” a voice shouted, evidently rushed.

The voice you knew too well caused your lips to twitch upwards.

“Johnny” left your lips as you turned around, watching your giant brother run towards you to give you a giant hug.

“Sorry, I got caught in traffic,” he said in between breaths, directing his words to you and the couple.

He had agreed to make a special video for Jisoo and Doyoung on the way to his trip across the country. “It’s my duty to make sure that you guys have the best present ever and what better present is there than the best one-year anniversary video?” he once told them over a video call. It didn’t matter if he was in the middle of a shoot for a rising artist. He “had to do this”, according to him. He was sweet like that. He, like Jisoo and Doyoung, was another beautiful being. Unlike you, he asked for nothing in return, so welcome to the world of having a perfect sibling. Oh and his perfect friends. We can’t forget about his friends, the people who made you you.

You were born in 1998, making you three years younger than Johnny. Growing up, you always looked up to Johnny and were constantly hanging out with him and his friends. You absolutely adored his strong, ever-lasting friendship with them. It was as though they were one big family, and he never failed to include you, inviting you to wherever they went, so there was no way you didn’t grow close with the boys… with the exception of a certain brown-eyed boy.

The first time you met the brown-eyed boy was when you were in middle school. Johnny had invited him over to introduce him to you.

“Jae, this is Jaehyun,” Johnny said, letting you examine the boy’s beauty. “He just transferred over to my school.”

Your shy eyes met his, and you immediately noticed his unparalleled beauty. He was a gorgeous fellow. He was like everyone’s fantasy, a boy who naturally had silky, smooth skin, deep dimples, a warm smile, and a warm personality. Indeed, he was a golden sight, but you didn’t dare allow yourself to stare at him any longer than you did. To your puberty-stricken middle school self, you felt intimidated by the brown-eyed boy because his pretty appearance made you feel bad about yourself, so, at the time, it was relieving that your encounter with him was short.

“He’s new in town, so I’m planning on giving him a tour of our neighborhood,” Johnny continued as you fixed your eyes on him. “Want to come with?”

Feeling a smile creep up your face, you quickly let it falter, not wanting to let slip a single crack of your newfound crush. Any cracks and you would never hear the end of it from Johnny. That’s why you shook your head, making a lame excuse that you had a project due the next day.

You knew you fell for Jaehyun’s looks. It was a baseless crush, and you were ashamed of it and of yourself. Although you were aware that looks are not everything a person has, you knew that it was the start of something. Still, you felt foolish for having such a silly crush.

“Okay, well we’re probably gonna end it at the frozen yogurt place around our school, so if you finish early, we’ll meet you there,” your thoughtful brother informed you before he led his new, wordless friend out the door.

That’s how you never heard Jaehyun’s voice in your first encounter with him.

His intensely soft beauty left you stunned at the closed door. The heat you felt rising in your chest as you replayed the soft smile he offered a second ago spread throughout your body, and you let your legs loose. On the ground, you clutched the rough fabric of your shirt, resting your fists on your chest. That was the first time someone made that deep of an impression on you.

At some point in time, whether you like to admit it or not, you fell for all of Johnny’s friends. It was pathetic, but you couldn’t help it. They were all charming.

Your first crush was Mark. When you both first met, you were in the first grade while he was kindergarten. You immediately liked the way he was funny, awkwardly social, and a younger brother Johnny never had. His bright laughter, accompanied by his furious claps that imitated a seal’s, was a detail you grew attached to. Eventually, however, the feelings you felt for him diminished, and you found yourself looking at him in a different light, the way Johnny saw him.

Jungwoo was your second crush. His family moved into the neighborhood when you were in third grade. He was cute and, unlike your first crush, he was not awkwardly social. He was delicate with his words and took special care of you since you were the only same-aged friend he had at the time. You reciprocated his treatment because he was the only friend you had in your third grade class. You guys were inseparable that year, so your feelings for him naturally blossomed into a friend-loving type of affection. However, you truly valued him as your friend and realized that you wanted nothing more than his friendship, a wise conclusion you made at such a young age.

Your next crush was Taeyong and it only lasted for one day, the day you and Johnny went to greet him at his front door when the moving trucks were arriving. With a basket of your mom’s speciality, rice cakes, in your hands, you let Johnny reach for the doorbell. When Taeyong was the one to answer, both you and Johnny spent a moment to admire the new neighbor’s anime-like features.

And the rest of the crushes you had on the other boys were a blur. The time it took you to like them was the time it took your feelings to dissipate into thin air, so your sentiment for them never lasted for long.

However, the longest crush you ever had lasted for a month. Who was your victim? The oldest guy you knew: Taeil. It was the summer you returned from summer camp with Lisa, your first friend from middle school. Lisa was gushing over some boy, this amazing dancer you both met at the camp, when she stopped in the middle of her fangirling moment to sniff something strange. Startled at the sudden commotion downstairs, your eyes met Lisa’s, and you both sprung up from your bed, rushing out the door and down the wooden stairs to the kitchen. With splattered water before your feet, you stared with wide eyes at the messy state the kitchen was in. A distasteful odor of burnt food traveled up your nose as you watched the chaotic scene unfold.

“Johnny, I told you to watch the oven!”

“But Mark distracted me with his lame joke!”

“If it was so lame-”

“Haechan, stop laughing and start-”

“It was Taeyong who started-”

“What? It was Doyo-”

The overwhelming, sheer volume of the overlapping voices ached your head, causing you to close your eyes for a moment.

“Guys, don’t worry!” a not-so-distant-yet-distance voice cried behind you. “I have water-”

The event happened so quickly that you didn’t realize that your same-aged, clumsy friend had slipped and that the tub of water he was holding was long gone from his grasp. It was up in the air, heading towards you. Not a second later, you were soaked from head to toe in cold water while Lisa, with her fast reflexes, was out of the clear, standing next to Jungwoo. All eyes were on you, waiting for your reaction.

“Kim Jungwoo,” you hissed angrily.

The boy whimpered, attempting to hide between Lisa, who didn’t do much to help as she bursted out into a laughing fit.

“You idiot!” you hollered as you began to chase Jungwoo around the kitchen.

The poor boy profusely repeated, “I didn’t do it on purpose! I swear!”

But that wasn’t the highlight of that eventful day. What was important was what happened after that. While the boys were situating themselves, cleaning and scraping the remains of burnt food, Lisa helped you dry up. Well, sort of. Although she was trying to be of help, she couldn’t help but overdo her work and wrap up every inch of your body with layers of towels. Ultimately, she had another round of a laughing fit, rolling on the floor and taking photos of your “towel mummy” situation, as she put it. You ended up kicking her out of the bathroom and locking yourself in it.

“That idiot,” you murmured, not knowing yourself if you were referring to Jungwoo or to Lisa.

Not long after you kicked Lisa out, there was a rhythmic knock on the door. Without much thought, you unlocked it, and the person knocking let himself in.

“Are you okay?” the kind brown-haired Taeil asked, watching you with worried eyes.

“Yeah,” you replied almost inaudibly. “It’s nothing new. We all know Jungwoo’s a clutz.”

He laughed at your annoyed appearance, but not for long because you shot him a glare, which made him clear his throat immediately.

“Hey, shouldn’t you use another towel to dry off your hair?” he said, noticing the wet towel Lisa wrapped your hair with. “You know, one that’s preferably not damp.”

You simply sighed. “Lisa used up all the towels in the cabinet to wrap me up like a mummy.”

Realizing that you did resemble a mummy, he stifled a laughter, knowing that you would make him face the consequences. Instead of making fun of you, he scanned for a towel that seemed to be moderately dry and unwrapped it from your waist. When you were rubbing your hair dry with the wet towel in your hands, your hair sandwiched in between the folds of the towel, he gently stopped you with his hands and advised you not to dry your hair that way.

“There’s no point in drying your hair with a wet towel,” he said, taking away your towel.

The next move he made was unexpected of him; he wrapped his hands around your hair, and once he was sure that he got all of the strands of your hair, he skillfully tied the dry towel around it.

That was the deciding moment you fell for him. Following that moment, you were like a lost puppy, going wherever he was going and doing whatever he was doing. He found you to be cute, like a little sister. He was, after all, a rising junior in high school while you were a measly rising seventh grader. You didn’t mind about the age gap, though. In fact, you liked it. It made him seem much more mature than the others. Even so, your one-sided crush on Taeil came to a banal end when you started school again. You were too busy making new friends, Jisoo and Rose, and exploring the new world of seventh grade.

Jaehyun, however, was a different story. If Taeil was the longest crush you had, Jaehyun was the most intense out of all eleven boys. Maybe it was because you were maturing or maybe it was because you were beginning to grow insecure about your flaws, but you were quick to understand that you were infatuated by his charmingly good looks. Even so, it wasn’t a simple crush. No, it was much more complex than that. You tried to shut down your infatuation as soon as you could, feeling foolish for liking Jaehyun solely based on his appearance, but your feelings lingered, and they only grew stronger when you witnessed the goodness in him. Even though you two rarely interacted, you watched him from afar and saw all the times he was a benevolent citizen to society, participating in charity work and even getting your parents to join him. For that reason, even though you liked Jaehyun longer than you liked Taeil, your feelings for the prince was no crush: it was love. To be exact, it was one-sided love. There was no comparison.

After failing to get your feelings to subdue, you reluctantly accepted the fact that Jaehyun was your first love. First loves? Everyone has first loves. Knowing that, you hoped that your silly love for Jaehyun would subside, but it never did. It was funny; he was one of Johnny’s friends you rarely associated yourself with, yet he was the one who caught the most your eyes since the day you met him. The more time passed, the more troublesome you found it to deal with your growing emotions, especially when he was in the same room you were in. You were well aware that there wasn’t much of a chance of you and him talking out of the blue, but you didn’t want to risk it, so you would always avoid him and surround yourself with the boys who were farthest away from him in any setting. It wasn’t hard to do, considering that there were many guys to converse with. Now that was pitiful. How, then, was it possible to love a person whom you didn’t exchange words with during your first meeting, someone you avoided? That was extremely pitiful.

Why couldn’t you muster up the courage to talk to him? Because your love grew so intense that you were scared that one word that left your mouth would expose everything, and as you grew older and (somewhat) wiser, you realized how complicated the world was, how it would have been messy if you confessed your love to him. You didn’t mind that he was your brother’s friend. You knew that no matter what, no matter the consequences, you would overcome them and your relationship with your brother and your brother’s relationship with his friends would never change. So if that wasn’t the problem, what was? Simple: you were exposed to the contrasting worlds of Insecurity and Fantasy.

Insecurity carried with you all throughout your high school years, like it did with everyone else. You gained weight while your friends grew slimmer. They grew muscles and had toned yet lean bodies. You, on the opposite spectrum, grew conscious of your double chin, your jiggling leg fat each step you took, your chubby hands, and your protruding stomach that you always tried to suck in. You had no talent nor a dream. You were scared of people’s judgments, contradicting your knowledge that no one really cared. That was the world of Insecurity. Jaehyun, on the other hand, was in the world of Fantasy, a place of perfection, a place in which even imperfection was perfection. In other words, he was unreal. He was the ultimate fantasy.

You were sick of comparing yourself to him, though you knew that there wasn’t anything to compare because you were two completely different people. You were sick of it, but you were still lured by his attractive qualities, and you hated that even more. Your insecurities swallowed you up, and you eventually felt unworthy of your brother’s and his friend’s attention. What was worse is that you realized that they, too, were in the world of Fantasy.

What you decided to do after that revelation wasn’t the wisest decision: you stopped hanging out with them. Although it was painful for you, it wasn’t that hard of a task to carry out. Johnny had so many friends that he didn’t mind whether you stepped out for a breather or not. Besides, with a lot of them being older, they were stepping into the world of college while you were stuck in the dramatic world of high school. When your brother left, off went Taeyong and Yuta with him. Sure, Doyoung and Ten, the two oldest people left who promised Johnny to look out for you, made sure to stop by, but they did so less frequently as the months passed by. By the time you were a junior, the only friend of your brother’s who was left in the neighborhood was Jaehyun, excluding Jungwoo, Mark, and Haechan since you considered them to be your friends too. Even then, with no one to tease you or suspect you, you didn’t dare to have the guts to reach out to Jaehyun and seek friendship. You had officially closed the age of Bright Jae and shut out your brother’s friends.

Things got worse in junior year. You had your friends–Lisa, Jisoo, and Rose–but there was an emptiness that couldn’t be filled.

“Damn, do I really miss them?” you once thought aloud in bed.

Yes, you did. Here’s a life lesson that’s worth noting: it isn’t until they’re out of your life that you start to understand the impact people have on you. That newly obtained information sunk in real bad, but there was nothing you could do about it. Johnny was off in college and so was everyone else. The eleven people who made you you were not there in your final years of adolescence. The eleven people who built your bright personality also steered you towards your dark place, the world of Insecurity.

Stressed out with tests and future college decisions, you began to marvel at the way Johnny and everyone else handled their last years of high school. It didn’t matter if they went to a specialized fine arts high school: they still had the same workload–if not, more intense–as you, yet they managed to be involved in sports teams and charity events and made time for you.

The only people you could go to to seek for comfort were Jungwoo, Mark, and Haechan. Your friendship with them never changed. You told them your deepest and darkest secrets, things you couldn’t even tell Lisa, the brightest sunshine in your life (even brighter than Haechan). You knew them the longest, so, to you, it made sense that you opened up to them.

When you started your last summer as a high school student, you made a commitment to rebuild yourself. You decided to start with your weight. You figured the only way you would love yourself fully was if you started to appreciate the body you had. Of course you wanted to watch your health, but you wanted to slim down more than anything else. You wanted to love yourself because you deserved it after struggling for years, even if it was for the wrong reason, according to the Youtube videos you watched yet ignored.

The next thing was to stop doubting yourself. The thing after that was to love your flaws. The thing after that… and after that…

Once you were in your third year of college, you felt like you were high. Everything was good and in its place: you had your friends, Lisa, Jisoo, and Rose; you were living the quiet college life, something you much preferred to loud parties and strangers; you were on the road to landing yourself an internship. Everything was good and peaceful.

There was one problem: you were ignorant to the world of love. You had focused so much time on forcing you to love yourself for the wrong reasons that you actually believed in your lies and unintentionally sabotaged yourself and the love you deserved.

Naturally, you had no idea that the years you spent lying to yourself, building your fake confidence and love for yourself, could lead to your most vulnerable state in front of the one person you knew only by face: Jung Jaehyun.

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gimmeallthechicken · 4 years ago

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The Case Of A Lover’s Blunder

Genre(s): Predominantly angst, romance, crime/mystery/thriller elements.

Pairing: detective!taehyun x f!reader

Warning(s): Contains mention of death, brief cussing.

Contains: workplace!romance, ft. yeonjun, flashbacks, my tears into writing this piece lmao, it hurt.

Summary: Ace detective Kang Taehyun known for solving every single case he receives so effortlessly. He’s a master detective with a flourishing assistant who takes crime fighting ever so seriously, but what happens when a case becomes particularly personal?

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[Time: 17:45pm]

The scrawling of his pen against paper resounds out in the dimly lit office. He writes with conviction, resolute confidence in his own abilities. You couldn’t help but admire his finesse in the way he was so organised, so planned, everything he touched was with reason; with such intelligent thought.

‘Ah, what a detective is meant to be like and so much more...’ You think to yourself. You fidget in your seat as you place your cheek against the palm of your hand. Your skin having a damp feeling to it as the office is quite warm from the dense summer heat of the day torturing you. Thankfully it was evening now, and the heat was receding to much your gratitude.

You despised how sticky and hot your skin became when it was hot and how it made working so much harder since your job was quite handsy and practical. After all, you were Taehyun’s second hand. Hand picked himself. You can’t help but smugly smile to yourself, that’s right. He picked YOU to be the Watson to his Sherlock.

Undoubtedly, Taehyun’s skill was unsurpassable. He had come from a long line of detectives, the Kang family. They always had a strong and unfathomable thirst for solving cases and making sure crime rates were as low as they possibly could be. That perpetrators were caught and dealt with along with giving support to their families. That was once a substantially important philosophy you had learned whilst working with Taehyun.

His family and his legacy always took pride in efficiency but also compassion. He always made sure that the victims were ensured support, care and help before, during and after the case. You found it soon becoming one of your own principles too. You mean, he’d never personally be the openly affectionate type, but everyone around him could tell he really was a caring man despite his cold exterior. You liked that about him.

Your eyes peer back at your partner; or well your technical boss. However, he didn’t really like the titles of boss, sir, or other such things. You smile softly, he wasn’t the type to take on the compliments he received (which he gets quite a lot considering how successful he is at his job). He’d always brush them off with a quaint smile and faint hue on his cheeks.

His distinct brown locks sprawl across his forehead and his brows furrow in concentration as he continues to write away speedily in the case file. He occasionally bites his lip and stops to think about what he’d write and tap his pen gently against the edge of the desk before continuing to scrawl away.

You sigh; you’d taken note of his small and elegant habits. Taehyun was quite a quiet man, with the face of an angel to boot. Angel of justice perhaps? Either way, it was a treat working with him, he treated you as his equal, he took your ideas into consideration, and he took you seriously.

You admired him so much, his work ethic, his intelligence, his pure drive and determination...not to mention his looks were quite the bonus of course. He resembled a prince of sorts. Was a prince in the past life, perhaps?

You stretch your arms and let out a yawn as you look to the window. The sun had just set and the sky was painted colourful shades of orange and pink melting beautifully into the hints and dashes of the darkness soon to cover the sky. The thin cream coloured curtains flap haphazardly as a light breeze fills the office from the open window.

Taehyun always liked his window just ever so slightly open but not too wide. You chuckle to yourself; he was quite picky in some regards but you found it cute and endearing to stick to some of his demands especially during investigation. His methodology and technique completely flawless.

Taehyun rests his pen down and lets out a sigh before his brown irises come into contact with yours. His straight and blank expression morphs into one of amusement and his lips twitch as he attempts to hold back a smile. He hums, “You having fun letting me do the all the work?”

You whine as you now realise you’re sprawled out with your feet on the desk and arms folded and your body slouching in the office chair. Your cheeks burn in embarrassment as you promptly sit back up with your feet grounded. You whine, “Taehyun, you know even if I did help you with the case paperwork, you’d complain and nitpick.”

He lets out a gracious laugh and tilts his head, “You’ve got a point, but I do find it rather endearing when you try. It’s rather amusing to see how you take my criticism.” You huff, “You just love to see me suffer don’t you?”

His smile widens further; there goes your heart. Boom. His smile was so beautiful; maybe because it was so rare to see. Not his charismatic detective smile but his wide-toothed grin that he only seemed to show you. He responds with a playful hum returning to his relaxed posture, “Perhaps, I do partake in some joy in your misery, my dear assistant.”

Your cheeks warm at that and you peer away from his gaze. You wonder if he knew that you always were a mess around him. Or how your heart rate would always speed up around his presence. He’s nowhere near stupid, so of course he’d pick up on the signs, plus he’s a detective after all. He can read people like mere literature.

You hum, “Detective, are you finally going to take a break now? I could make you some tea.” Taehyun peers at his gold wristwatch and purses his lips. “You know what, sure. I seemed to have spent more time than intended writing in the case file...and for the umpteenth time, call me Taehyun.”

You bring yourself to a stand and you smile smugly, “We did it again, Detective,” emphasising the last word. You knew he didn’t like the titles but you did it on purpose. You also think that your poor little heart couldn’t take you calling him; the famous detective by first name in front of everyone. There were already rumours about the two of you to which he promptly dismissed; with no fucks given in a press conference.

You continue, “But yes, I’ll bring us some tea. We’re going up to the rooftop like usual right?” Taehyun gets up removing his cloak leaving him in his white shirt that was slightly unbuttoned from the collar. He nods curtly with a small smirk, “Don’t spill it up the stairs like last time, I’d prefer to have my tea served in a cup not on the floor.”

You huff, “Oh shut up. I tripped, you act as if you’ve never tripped in your life, Mr. Perfect Detective.” His cheeks glow at the name and he scoffs tousling his dark brown locks, “Yeah, yeah. Go make yourself useful and stop loitering, hm?”

You stick your tongue out playfully and spin yourself around and marching out of his office. You hear his quiet laughter from behind you making your lips pull up into a wide grin.

You frankly didn’t mind making yourself into a fool in front of him. As he would say, he would find you ‘endearing.’ You didn’t really know if he just seemed to be teasing you most times, but either way, you liked it. You liked it when his attention was on you. When he laughed or smiled because of you. You did a damn pretty good job at it too. He’d always wear the mask of the mysterious, young detective with a noticeable charisma oozing from every word and action he partook in. You had successfully pulled him out of his shell.

You begin to make your signature tea that you’d always make when you and Taehyun would finish up another successful case together and want to hang out on the rooftop of your office building. It had the absolute best view of the evening/night sky and the city skyline with all its glittering lights mirroring the sparse stars up above. It was beautiful. You’d both always sit beside each other, get to know each other even more, have deep conversations, tease each other and have some random form of banter. Perhaps even open up.

You’d learned soon enough working with Taehyun; he is a very caring man inside. You remember vividly when you spent the first month working with him; that the constant sight of dead bodies, hurt or crying victims and their families or the consequences of runaways; would be taking a toll on you. Of course you knew this job came with such an emotionally draining burden but still there’s only so much you can hold in.

Taehyun of course never seemed buckle from however horrid or painful the scene or scenario was; of course he’d be with his father and grown to live with it.

That first month was when you first grew to cherish him and your relationship with him. He was someone who meant a lot to you in this lonely world. You reminisce on how his advice changed your perspective of things and...not only that but changed how you felt towards him. You remember being on the rooftop alone struggling to hold your tears back.

[Two years ago]

Your eyes sting as the sunset brazenly lightens your face. The breeze being significantly stronger on the rooftop making your hair fly around messily behind you and some strands straggling on your face. Your bottom lip quivers and you clench your fingers around your arms in a feeble attempt to keep it together.

What was wrong with you? Why were you so pathetic-so weak? You were the assistant of one of the city’s greatest ace detectives for god’s sake! You majored in law for this very sole reason! Why were you so sensitive? Taehyun probably hated working with you and thinks you are an unprofessional cry baby who lets their emotions sway them. You may as well quit and lessen the burden on him.

You were dragging him down.

A single tear slips down your cheek leaving a glistening trail behind. You sniffle. Maybe crime fighting wasn’t for you. You murmur harshly, “Shit. What am I doing?”

“Y/n? What are you doing up here by yourself?” You hear a familiar smooth-toned voice. You know it’s Taehyun; you didn’t want him to see you at such a vulnerable position. God, what would he think of you?

You clear your throat and try to confidently sound out a respond but your stupid voice fails you as it cracks, “Just g-getting some fresh air.”

You hear his footsteps getting closer and you tense up. His voice is much closer now as he questions, “Just fresh air? You’ve been up here for quite awhile, almost ten, twelve minutes.”

You murmur hurriedly wiping away a tear and attempting to keep the others at bay, “Oh, d-did you need me detective-I’m sorry-I’ll be right down-I promise-I-“

His sharp voice cuts in like a blade, “Stop rambling.”

You flinch at the order but you obey. Taehyun delicately taps your shoulder edging you to turn around and you quiver but you can’t help but let yourself turn around and face him.

His brows were furrowed in deep concern; his rosy lips held a frown. His brown hair flowing and bouncing with breeze seeming to toy with it. The golden sun kissing his sun ever so stunningly. The way he was looking at you was with such care, concern. You couldn’t contain your tears anymore. Off they go, spilling onto the skin of your cheeks.

His eyes widen and he murmurs his voice still calm as ever, “What’s the matter? What has been bothering you?”

You shake your head, “I-It’s fine detective-it’s not your problem, you have better things to concern yourself-“

A flash of emotion crosses his features and he coldly scoffs making you gulp. Shit, now you’ve done it.

He huffs crossing his arms, “No. No I don’t, you are my concern. Do not ever say such a foolish thing again you understand me? You’re clearly bothered by something, your feelings are not a burden you should carry alone.”

Your heart rate quickens inexplicably. Your watery eyes widen; his words were so unimaginably impactful despite how he sounded like a parent scolding their child.

You splutter, “I-I’m sorry-“

He sighs, “Ah, don’t apologise to me. What ever is bothering you? I have noticed how down you have been looking since are last two recent cases we’ve gotten. My assistant’s endearing spark seems to be dimming.”

You end up letting more tears spill at that and he hums, “Do you mind if we sit down?” You nod. He sits beside you and he murmurs, “If it isn’t too much trouble, I am willing to hear out your concerns.”

You laugh sourly, “They’re stupid.” He sighs, “No concern is ever stupid in my books, especially yours. Now spill. If you wish to that is, I’m not forcing you. I can leave if you wish me too as well.”

You shake your head rather too frantically for your own liking, “Please don’t leave.” He smiles making your heart flutter. You inhale deeply looking at the skyline and murmur, “I’ve been feeling queasy, with the recent few cases being so...difficult...I’m so emotionally-“

He finishes, “Drained?” You nod, “Mhm. Yeah, I-I can’t help but just feel so miserable, so sad. After every interview, after seeing the victims body, the reaction of the family. I know I’ve trained for t-this shit but still-when it’s-it’s actually-“

Taehyun nods with a long sigh, “When it’s with real people, dealing with real lives and not just hypothetical situations, it’s much more tasking isn’t it?”

Your eyes widen peering up to see him gazing at the sky too; his side profile in your vision. He perfectly summarised it. You stutter, “Y-Yeah.”

He brings his knees up to his chest and places his elbows atop his knees mirroring your own position. He hums, “Go on.”

You awkwardly mumble, a dull ache in your chest, “I just...feel so useless beside you. You’re so calm, so composed you hardly let your emotions get the best of you. I don’t understand how-I mean I do, you’ve grown up around this stuff. I just...I’ve always wanted to be in this field but I feel like now...I’m not meant to be.”

You hear Taehyun let out a breathless laugh. He peers at you, his marron eyes intensely meeting yours almost leaving you breathless. He asks, “You don’t think I feel anything for each case either?”

Your eyes widen, “I-I didn’t mean to imply that-I’m so sorry-!” He chuckles, “I know, I know. I understand what you mean too. I’ve been in your same position when I was younger. This is a difficult profession. Where sometimes emotions can sway your rationality, right?” You nod in agreement.

He continues, “But hiding away your emotions, and bottling them up as you’ve been doing so far, is cowardice. It’s in other words, inefficient and will affect your performance don’t you think?” His words come off as distant and blunt but you sense care behind his tone of voice.

Taehyun murmurs, “We aren’t robots, we are simply human. We have emotions and that’s okay. Accepting them and expressing them, is something even I still need to come to terms with fully. Everyone deserves to express their feelings and get heard out.”

His eyes twinkle as he says with a small almost shy smile, “So y/n, I understand. This problem isn’t stupid or mediocre, it’s completely valid. Any of your problems are. Being a detective, being in the field of crime, is a tough job that no amount of knowledge or training can prepare you for. However, what one can do is learn to lean on others for support.” He reaches his hand out towards you, “So, will you remember to lean on me for support?”

You eyes widen and you feel the world around you almost slow to a halt. The way he was looking at you with such concern, affection and care as he holds his hand out to you whilst offering to always be there to hear you out, you couldn’t stop how fast your heart is beating.

You smile widely and take his hand; which perfectly envelopes yours. You murmur looking down at it, “I will, detective. I promise and thank you,” you look up with a raised brow, “But only if you do as well. I don’t like hypocrites.”

He lets out a chuckle releasing your hand. Oh...how you wish he’d have held it for a little longer. He hums nodding, “Of course, I am glad to now have my pillar of support, I will cherish our relationship.” Your cheeks burn and you hum, “Can-Can we come to the rooftop more often, it’s really beautiful in the evening?”

He seems to like the idea and nods in agreement, “Of course, just say the word. It’s really pretty isn’t it?” You nod humming, “Yeah.”

Taehyun peers at you with a serious glance, “I do intend to check up on you, so do not be afraid to open up me alright? I care about you, I must explicitly express this, okay?” You stammer embarrassed, “O-Okay detective-“

He lets out a small smirk and peers back at the sky, “Mhm, also please call me Taehyun, I’ve said this so many times now. I see you as my equal, no need for formalities.”

You smile, “I know.” You both spend the next hour chatting on the rooftop; that was the beginning to your weekly rooftop sessions ever since that day. That was also the simple flower that bloomed your feelings towards him. His assistant falling for him? Couldn’t he predict such an outcome?

[Present Day]

You bring the two cups of coffee (carefully) up the stairs and feel the familiar breeze hit you. You spot him sat on a cushion watching the sky above where the flicks of birds would beautiful swirl around and dance.

You murmur, “Taehyun, I got your tea, careful holding it-it’s hot-“ His eyes widen as he grasps the cup and you confusedly ask, “What? What’s wrong?”

Taehyun’s lips form a flustered smile and his cheeks are a slightly reddened shade, “Y-You called me my first name-“

You squeak out, “Oh-!” You didn’t even realise you did. Holy shit.

He murmurs after a moment of silence between you two and you sit down still quite in shock about your mishap, “I was right.”

You hum, “Huh?” He peers away clearly embarrassed and he quietly mumbles, “Taehyun does sound better from you. I told you to drop the stupid detective title anyways.” Your cheeks flush.

You both contently sip on the tea. The warm taste flooding your mouths. You mumble, “Det-Taehyun...” You test the name once again out in your mouth..okay maybe you could drop the teasing ‘detective’ title now. It has been two years now...

He lets out a flustered smile, “I heard we have a new case waiting for us tomorrow. I think it’s quite an anticipated one.” He peers at the sky and he frowns, “Hm, I wonder how Yeonjun’s doing?”

Your brows raise at the sudden mention of his old assistant. Your lips form a pout, “Hm? Haven’t you heard from him?”

Taehyun frowns, “Frankly, if I’m being honest, I don’t think he’s gotten any of my emails, phone calls or texts. It’s like he’s completely disappeared from my world.”

Choi Yeonjun, the man who had your positioning assistant/partner before you. The man who spent his last week of work teaching you everything you need to know about working with Taehyun. You work shadowed him when applying for the position.

You remember your encounter with strangely intimidating man. He was gorgeous at that; they were both known as the heroes of justice in your city. It was one of the main reasons you even wanted to work at Kang’s Detective Firm. You didn’t expect to be promoted to assistant immediately.

Yeonjun left so suddenly after teaching you for a week and handing you his remaining duties. He never contacted you or the firm again. You remember how he had bright blonde hair and he had such piercing eyes and a charismatic aura about him; one you could only envy. He perfectly complimented Taehyun.

You distinctly remember his last words to you, despite the intimidating appearance he had the most precious smile as he said his last words with such heaviness, “Never leave Taehyun and do well with him won’t you? Look after him. Solve each and every crime. Bring justice to light.”

He pauses for a moment a small look of regret flashes in his eyes and he peers at you deeply, “I’ve gotten myself into shit but the only choice I have right now is to leave. But I know I’m leaving it in good hands.”

You shudder from the intense stare he gave you at the time paired with the small smile as he walked off for the very last time not even bothering to bid Taehyun fare well. His final and last line being, “I know you’ll come find me at the right time. Oh and don’t tell Taehyun of this, please.”

You simply nodded at the time; you didn’t want to really get involved. You swore that man’s words would haunt you for the next week after he left. You zone back into the current conversation.

Taehyun frowns, “I don’t know what I did wrong, even to this day. He always was so mysterious, my deducing abilities could never work on the guy. I couldn’t ever read him.”

You murmur, “I’m sure he had his reasons for suddenly up and leaving. Maybe some sort of fresh start?”

Taehyun shifts uncomfortably, “Maybe, but I don’t know, every time I think of him, it just doesn’t sit well you know. Other than you, no other assistant or partner I’ve had has come close to his abilities.”

You hum deep in thought. You knew Yeonjun and Taehyun had a deep bond with each other. Rumours said they were childhood friends even, but you couldn’t really bring yourself to ask Taehyun to open up that chapter of his life.

Yeonjun was one mystery, you knew Taehyun couldn’t seem to solve. The irony right? Maybe because it was more personal? Or Yeonjun just seemed to know Taehyun well enough to cover his tracks and beat the ace detective.

You smile softly at Taehyun, “Are-Are you upset by him leaving, Taehyun?” Taehyun tilts his head in thought and shrugs, “I wouldn’t say upset but rather...confused. I didn’t think friends would just leave you know?”

You nod suddenly finding courage in your heart as you place a hand tentatively atop his, “Yeah...just, know that I’d never leave you okay? Or if I did by some odd means, I’d let you know beforehand, haha.” You try your best to lighten the mood up.

He lets out a wide smile and your eyes widen as he suddenly intertwines his fingers between yours making your heart almost shatter out of your chest. He murmurs lowly, “I don’t think I’d let you go as easily.”

Your eyes widen at his simple but short statement. How could he say such a thing so nonchalantly? You do a double take at your joint hands. Does he realise what he’s doing? Of course he must be!

You take a chance as you watch the sky get even darker. You mumble peering away, “Taehyun...”. You feel his hand tense in your grip and your brows furrow and quickly add on, “Y-You don’t have to answer of course.”

He lets out a sigh, “Love was never a priority of mine. I would think that it would be...rather a waste of time.”

You let out, “Oh.”

Taehyun hums, “I have never loved anyone, never thought it was important. My parents divorced at a young age, so it didn’t really deem well for me. I just thought I could be more productive not letting romance sway me. Of course platonic relationships were my base, I couldn’t help but create those.”

You listen interested with his philosophy. You always found how Taehyun viewed the world to be rather unique, unbiased or rather a man who always was open to new thoughts to add to his ever spanning philosophy. You murmur, “So...are you not open to love at all?...Or if-if someone confessed to you...would-“

He finishes peering at you and then back to your hands intertwined with his and back up to meet your eyes, “Would I reject their advance?” You nod.

Taehyun hums with a glimmer in his eyes, “Someone has made it easier for me to understand what maybe being in love perhaps is like. I like the feeling of being around them, listening to them talk, nothing their little habits and quirks, that is love yes?” You awkwardly murmur, “I-I guess-you didn’t answer the question.”

He murmurs, “Have you been in love?”

Did he really just answer your question with another question?

You huff, “Maybe.”

He raises a brow, “Have you now? Did you confess to him or her? As far as I’m aware you haven’t dated anyone since you’ve worked here.”

You scoff, “Okay, I get it I’m very single.” He chuckles, “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

You murmur softly, “Maybe I’ve been pining for someone...you never know.” Taehyun puts weight onto his right side leaning closer towards you and your heart flutters. He hums deep in thought and his eyes lock onto yours, “Do you like me?”

You feel your entire world halt at his question. What the fuck? How can someone be so direct?- Kang Taehyun. That’s who.

You splutter and remove your hand from his grip and your cheeks feel as though you’ve been set on fire, “Well-you just-that’s so direct!?”

Taehyun shrugs, “I find it a rather easy question. Just a yes or no? This is perhaps a no then? Were my deductions about you wrong?”

You screech, “You we’re making fucking deductions about me?” Oh how you wanted to hide yourself right now. Taehyun mumbles, “Am I wrong then?”

You squeak waving your hands around frantically, “No! No! Oh my god-no of course not-I mean yes I like you!-“

Taehyun lets out a nod, “Ah, okay.”

That’s it. Just an ‘okay.’ You stand up and feel as you’ve made a fool out of yourself. You stammer, “Do you understand what you��ve asked?”

Taehyun looks up at you; his eyes shimmering and now an amused look on his face, “Why yes, I have. Have you understood my intent?”

You splutter helplessly, what was wrong with you? God he was so composed. You just confessed to him. He obviously knew you liked him too! Of course he fucking did!

You place your hands on your hips, “Okay well-! D-Do you like me back? Do you accept my feelings-you don’t have to of course...I mean it would be nice if you did but-“

Taehyun stands up startling you and his face is in front of yours. He was quite a bit taller than you. He had a pleasant smile on his cherry toned lips and he hums, “Should I provide ample evidence to showcase my feelings?”

Your eyes widen as you realise how close he truly is to you at this moment. The night sky was appearing and the smallest strokes of orange were fading. You feel his hands take both yours.

You stammer, “S-Sure-“ Your eyes close as you feel his breath hit your face. He was going to kiss you. You feel his soft lips press against yours.

You can’t stop yourself from smiling. Two years of pining; and now the flower has finally bloomed to its potential.

- —————

[The Next Day]

The next day arrives and by far you had the best and most content sleep by far. The memory of the simple but passionate kiss you shared with Taehyun yesterday. You can’t help feel the familiar butterflies.

He reciprocated your feelings and you were now feeling happier than ever.

After that kiss you both stood on the rooftop quietly basking in the moment. God, it couldn’t be more romantic than that. You let out a flustered giggle before sitting at your desk.

You get to work for the day and go through your emails and paperwork. Taehyun was yet to come in. He’d always be in the office block much earlier than you but would only come into his office sharply 8:50am every morning.

You peer at the clock 8:49am. You smile as you look at the door and just as if on cue, the door opens except it’s much more of a slam open this morning. Your brows raise as you see Taehyun hold a new file in his hand and he walks in hurriedly shutting the door with the side of his foot.

He seemed rather bothered this morning. What was up with him? Your heart aches; god what if he regretted yesterday? Shit. You stammer nervously, “Taehyun? Detective? Good morning.”

Taehyun seats himself at his desk and places the file down and peers at you with his usual curt smile but his eyes seemed to show hurt. It was almost as if he was trying to mask away what he was feeling. You knew him too well to see right through him at this moment. He answers timidly, “Good morning y/n.”

You stand up and walk over to his desk, “Everything okay? Is that our supposed new case you were talking about yesterday?” He nods quietly and murmurs. Your eyes scan the file name and you feel the air get knocked out of your lungs immediately at the name.

‘Choi Yeonjun’

It couldn’t be. No. It couldn’t be the SAME Yeonjun you both knew two years ago. Taehyun murmurs opening the file and you feel your heart shatter as you see an extremely familiar snap shot photo. Faded blonde hair; the same piercing eyes: pink tinted lips and sharp jaw.

You gasp, “Taehyun-I...”

He nods, “Yeonjun was found dead on Seongsu-ru cross road approximately at around 3:35pm yesterday by some passerby.”

You felt your heart drop to your stomach. You felt nauseous; you hadn’t felt this way for a long time. With the way Taehyun went abysmally silent you knew how deeply he’s hurting inside at this moment. You tentatively place a hand on his shoulder, “Taehyun...”

He clears his throat and removes your hand off his shoulder. Ouch. He murmurs, “We have a case to attend to. Forensics say it was around two gunshots; of course more detailed examination will reveal more information. We’ll be working closely with the forensics team for this case.”

With how cold and almost painfully emotionless Taehyun sounds it seems to make you feel even worse with the entire timing of this.

Your heart sinks thinking back to the last time you saw Yeonjun. “I know you’ll come find me at the right time.” Your blood runs cold. What did Yeonjun mean by that? Why the fuck did you brush that off back then? What if that was fucking lead?

Your head begins to spin in sheer panic completely ignoring Taehyun reading out the contents of the file. You feel a hand on your shoulder and see Taehyun standing looking concerned at you, “Hey-are you okay? You look pale?”

You stammer, “T-Taehyun, you know how I told you about Yeonjun’s last few words before leaving. He was caught up in some shit a-apparently. He said something else..”

Taehyun raises a brow listening intently. You murmur nervously, “He said we’d find him at the right time or s-something like that. He seemed so distant with me-“

Taehyun instinctively freezes. Your eyes widen; a flash of anger crosses his features, you’d never seen him so angry before. He suddenly startled you with how loud his voice becomes, “Why the fuck would you tell this NOW?”

You feel your eyes tearing up, “H-He told me not to say anything-I n-never thought much of it-I just-“

He snarls, “Never thought much of it? NEVER THOUGHT MUCH OF IT? Are you that incompetent of a detective that you couldn’t grasp the hint? That even if he told you that you should of told me anyway! We could of saved him. Found him before he was lying dead!”

You feel your entire world breaking. How could one small little mistake, something you overturned years ago come back to haunt you to badly now? How could the butterfly effect slap you in the face as much as it was doing at the moment.

Taehyun’s eyes seem to gloss over and you feel your heart break. He never showed such strong emotion before. You really, really fucked up.

He peers at you with a dark stare, “Do you understand how inexplicably important it is to be so so aware of your surroundings, of the words people say, the actions people take. Sometimes you HAVE to break people’s promises. In this case you should have.”

You snap tears now seeming to fall down your cheeks, “I-I-I’m sorry Taehyun! I am! I-I didn’t think it’d turn out this way-you can’t b-blame me for this-how was I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE’D END UP DEAD?”

Taehyun’s emotions seem to get the best of him, “If you told me that minute detail I’d maybe of not trusted him to look after himself and respected his wishes, maybe I’d have gone after him and stopped him and helped him. Maybe I wouldn’t of been so stupidly self-absorbed in my own world-!”

You snap, “Are you blaming me on his death!? Are you thinking straight right now? You always lecture me about emotions and shit-“

He slams the file down and glares at you, “Get out of my office.”

Your eyes widen, you stammer, “W-What-?”

He lowly says, “Get. Out. I don’t want to even look at you right now.” This couldn’t be happening.

“Are you firing me?” You sob put both hurt and angry. Taehyun snaps, “No! Just-I-I need some space. I need some alone time. This case is too personal for me. I can’t-I can’t deal with it.”

You nod wiping your tears and slowly backing away; the tension between you two slowly seeming to dissipate, “Yeah.”

You turn away deciding it is best to leave him be to calm down, “I’ll-I’ll be back later...detective.”

He hums, “Yeah. I think it’s for the best.”

It’s the smallest things in life that can ultimately tear everything apart don’t you think? The smallest crack in the glass can soon grow to shatter the pane.

Life is cruel, and now it was both you and Taehyun’s turn to be the puppet’s of life’s grand show.

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