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From now on I do Not kill any monsters until I’ve baited them with the intoxicating aroma of Pipfruit +1

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Laughter is the best misogyny

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I got beaten the fuck out of by the same girls who egged me on in the library outside the fucking window

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p > Samus Aran jiggle physics confirm asexual erotic #CuteArmy < /p >

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anything you want said & I’ll say

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Really hungry, ate whole shoelace

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I was told I had great upper body strength recently and it made me smile.

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What if we proceeded as if RSI were an addiction and got drdms+ for ps1 games eh? Mind blown 🤯

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*mimes my lovely wife sweetly with the voice of Jack H. Skellington (really the Semar and Layla to my own Heart and Mind)*

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Pennyboard Battle!

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That memory so spontaneous

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hasn’t happened since 2020 but being online before I’m awake is so revealing as to my state of mind I should not indulge it probably. I’m half-convinced the Muffin Jrs are stuffing my Peep Show front full of radon gas

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Music is real bad rn…….

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I keep the sadness dead with a dagger to its throat

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My charisma stat was raised as a result of “going ham” at The Roost last night

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Hey does ur phone go “tock��� at certain and not others of your texts? I’ve noticed this happening and I suspect it’s a bug rather than a feature but I am unsure.

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my eggs ‘til you smile narrated by dan savage…

(please read the above in advertising voice)