ghostcellist

[ghostcellist]

I miss when everyone on my dash listened to Welcome to Night Vale so there’s be a good chance that on any ole day someone would reblog a quote that would grab me by the throat and forcibly ascend me to a higher plane where I understood myself and the universe better and with more kindness but also a little spook

[ghostcellist]

"you gotta play with the cards you're dealt" WRONG. i play pot of greed which lets me draw two additional cards from my deck

[ghostcellist]

[ghostcellist]

I went to a conference today and I had one of the fakest sounding experiences of my life. I want to share it but I feel I have to make a shitty comic in ms paint or something because I'm not sure how to recount it in text post format

[ghostcellist]

they need to invent retractable boobs for nonbinary people (me)

[ghostcellist]

in the realm of like, rich kid problems, I want to someday read/write a fic where Nightwing is slowly establishing himself as a full-fledged JL member and everyone is relieved because finally, there's a nice Bat on the Watchtower who doesn't just shoot down their plans and deny their mission requests. but. while Nightwing is kind, and polite, and charming in all the ways the Bat isn't, he's still Dick Grayson. and Dick Grayson grew up as a very rich kid's suddenly very rich kid, which is to say while Bruce might not take it personally, Dick has been fending off people almost his entire life who were trying to use him for his Dad's money. which is to say, I think once Nightwing is on board and the relationship between him and Batman is at least somewhat well-known, there is suddenly a rush of younger, less-experienced members trying to take advantage of Nightwing, mistaking that kindness and openness for willingness to either voluntarily, or involuntarily, infringe upon and cross Batman's clear-cut boundaries. bribing Dick for a better monitor shift with Batman is one thing (it doesn't really work, Dick can't bribe Bruce with much as it is) but trying to convince Nightwing to lie to Batman? to go against him? his dad? the man who pulled him up when he had nothing and gave him meaning again? that man?? and then comes the inevitable, chilling realization, that while Nightwing might wear a different mask, might wear an open smile on the Watchtower and with friends off-shift, there are some lines he won't cross, same as Bruce. he won't, sure as the sun rises and the rot rolls off the Gotham Harbor in the morning.

[ghostcellist]

these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them

[ghostcellist]

the cucks have unionized

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working hard at the sunk cost factory

[ghostcellist]

Teeth weak as fuck why can't you be like bones

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[ghostcellist]

Fuck this one hits home.

[ghostcellist]

the insanely complicated, layered and BAMF relationships the Batfamily members have with each other are simultaneously horrifying and beyond impressive, especially when you reach the "I'm working a case and need help" point.

Bruce: you're calling in the big guns, the OG, but it carries a hefty price tag sometimes. non-Batfamily heroes get nervous or territorial. if you're a former Robin, this is a great way to feel like a kid again, which can either be a little relieving, or absolutely horrible. if you're shitting bricks on your last leg about to crash out, calling him in (finally) is the same feeling as crashing into a pair of arms and just letting yourself go limp. he knows everything. and if he doesn't, he will.

Dick: you're calling in Nightwing, usually because Batman can't play nice with this problem/team, or you need someone less attached to Gotham. the ultimate team player, especially for the JL, but he's hiding a lot even from his siblings. if you're Bruce, calling in Dick is a throwback in the best and worst ways. he's not Robin, but for a moment - yeah, he is. will get ice cream with you on the way back; will also covertly observe how that quad strain is treating you while you get it. you can trust him so so much. trusting him is maybe not always a great idea.

Jason: you want Batman, but you don't really want Batman to know about whatever this thing is. or you've got a case that needs firepower, bulk, and Bruce's particular kind of violence that Jason swears isn't his, too. if you're calling him in on a case, there's something you're probably missing he'll see right away. he's got connections, he's got unexpected gear, but he's particular about where he goes. despite what some siblings might think, he talks to Bruce sometimes. and yeah, if you fuck up and hurt yourself on a case, he's telling B about it.

Tim: you're calling him in if you need Bruce's anal-retentive investigation style, in a slightly less grumbly package. he's always down for a stakeout, can process clues and crime scenes faster than he should, and, like Jason, also has weird connections in even weirder places. you're calling Tim in if there's metas in Gotham and don't want Bruce to have an aneurysm. plays well with GCPD, actually helpful, listens to Oracle's priority pings.

Barbara: you fucked up. big time or small time. or you need help with something and you don't want Batman to know. you'll owe her a favor. people assume she's Batman's fixer/man behind the curtain, and they couldn't possibly be more wrong. she's got side projects and teams you don't even KNOW about. you're calling her in as a last resort because your problem will be written in a priority ping and forever memorialized.

Damian: rare to get him without Batman, but if you do, he's extremely helpful. good with animals, surprisingly good with people if he tries, and an expert at distinguishing fighting styles, weapons, etc. good with languages. if you're calling him in for help, you'll deal with him sneering and taking jabs at you the whole time. it's adorable. he will tell Batman everything about this later, though.

Cass: absolutely solid, will not tell Batman shit, will not laugh at you (okay maybe a little), will help you solve the problem. moves quick, gets the job done, very little oversight needed. however, she has some creative interpretations on what "done" looks like. if she and Dick are both called in for something, be suspicious.

Duke: if you call him in for a case during non-daytime hours, something is wrong. horribly wrong. if he calls other family members in during the daytime, something is also horribly wrong. has absolutely 0 patience for Batman not playing well with metas. Babs calls him a lot for anomalies that pop in Gotham. his powers are underutilized and underexplored, but he doesn't want to be the "big guns" unless he has to be, so it's kind of moot.

Alfred: if you're calling him in on a case, Bruce is down. or Bruce is about to crash out and lose it over someone else going down. or fear toxin is involved. any of the above, you're absolutely fucked and should start panicking and looking for the exit. giving advice on a long-term case is one thing; showing up with a belt of grenades, a rifle, and a domino mask in downtown Gotham is a whole other.

Steph: you pissed off Oracle and Steph took pity on you. or Steph is there because Oracle's trying to keep an eye on you. which one is it? you'll never know

Bonus - Clark: There's a meta/alien/whatever in Gotham the combined Batfamily can't handle

Bonus 2 - Diana: There's a meta/alien/whatever in Gotham the combined Batfamily AND Clark can't handle

[ghostcellist]

picture of a cute innocent baby animal "um this is who youre being mean to btw" thats not even true man youre a straight up vampire and you destroyed my village with your dark powers

[ghostcellist]

i dont "Practice" anything. i Rawdog it. And if im not good first try i GIVE UP.

[ghostcellist]

one of my favorite things about FMA's worldbuilding is that you get to gradually realize how edward elric is the only person who dresses like that

[ghostcellist]